March 1, 2007, - 2:03 pm

How to Satisfy Duke’s “Diversity” Recommendations

By Debbie Schlussel
In the wake of three white Duke University Lacrosse players being falsely accused of raping a black stripper, Duke has recommended a more diverse and inclusive campus culture.
Given that these men being falsely accused of a crime they did not commit by a member of another race and ethnicity, I have some ideas on how to make this situation and culture more diverse:

1) Three Black athletes should be falsely accused of rape by a White stripper;
2) Three gay hairstylists and home economics majors can be false accused of raping three lipstick lesbian strippers;

duikebluedevils.jpg

D is for Diversity

3) Three carnivorous male students should be wrongly accused of raping three lacto-ovo vegetarian, environmentalist strippers who wear Al-Gore t-shirts before they take it all off; and
4) While they’re at it, they must change the color of the Duke mascot. It must no longer be the “Duke Blue Devils.” Because, after all, Blue is a dominant, majority color and not diverse enough. So, annually, Duke must start using some of the underrepresented colors of the rainbow, so they can get their due. For 2008: The Duke Magenta Devils; 2009: The Duke Periwinkle Devils; 2010: The Duke Amber Devils . . . . Think about changing the Devils, too. Think, the Duke Magenta Ferrets; The Duke Periwinkle Peonies; The Duke, Amber Waves of Diversity . . . .

There. That’s diversity. And that should do it to satisfy this absurd recommendation that Duke address a crime that never happened by attacking the Whiteness and uber-plain Johnness of the wrongfully accused.

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9 Responses

“more diverse” just = “less white males”. They really want the campus to be even more liberalized, which means they will either make it look like what it’s not, or make it illegal to call it what it is.

Stealthkix on March 1, 2007 at 2:54 pm

Hell, why not just ban caucasians all together? Furthermore, not only should the non-inclusive mascot name be addressed, but what about the name DUKE? Too much of a DAVID Duke connotation in my honest opinion. I can only imagine the horrid discomfort this monicker causes the sensitive types in this august institution. Oh the humanity!

Southernops on March 1, 2007 at 3:28 pm

By all means the Duke university should terminate all sports programs as liberals around the country have repeatedly exclaimed that sports promote aggression. Let’s get right to the point which is to train nall of us in the pc art of becoming pussies which will assure that our destruction can procede without further delay.

warpmine on March 1, 2007 at 5:21 pm

They’ll except white men as long as they leave their testicles at home.

Minnie Mouse on March 1, 2007 at 7:43 pm

Hmmm. Funny, 4-5 blacks can torture and kill the white couple channon christian and chris newsome in knoxville tn and the mainstream media doesn’t care to report. Compare that to the coverage a story about 4-5 white boys raping a black stripper. Turns out they are innocent but will always be looked at sideways by the public. Sickening and this in tn were tortured horribly.

nyone on March 1, 2007 at 9:25 pm

somehow made it thru iowa between two blizzards to go skiing at keystone. on the way thru I saw a sign that gave me my next great scam of the year.
i’m going to convert to islam and as a white man I will then sue the pork industry for callin pork the other white meat.
I bet I’ll get enough for the bus..

playertwo on March 2, 2007 at 2:53 am

What they ought to do is fire all the professors and find replacements that have never taken a diversity course. In addition, since they are so big on affirmative action, they should make sure 50% of the replacements are white male republicans.

ScottyDog on March 2, 2007 at 3:38 pm

We whites should be just as diverse as Asians, Hispanics, Blacks, Muslims, etc. In other words, we should have our own countries just for our people, and we should have “Vanilla City”, just like Chocolate City down yonder in Louisiana.

davidlanham on March 3, 2007 at 8:04 pm

Here’s a great DIVERSITY website: http://www.imdiversity.com/about_us.asp

davidlanham on March 3, 2007 at 8:07 pm

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