April 27, 2009, - 2:00 pm
By Debbie Schlussel
Real men take showers (when they can). But they don’t have “man showers.”
And someone needs to tell that to sleazy Michigan billionaire Peter Karmanos, CEO of Compuware. He’s the same guy I told you about, recently, who hired convicted felon and deposed Detroit ex-Mayor Kwame “The Kingpin” Kilpatrick after Kilpatrick got out of prison. This was on the same day Karmanos laid off 250 of his current non-felonious employees.
Karmanos, who is on wife #3, announced news a while ago that his 35-year-old wife (he is 66) was expecting twins. When they are born, these kids will be far younger than Karmanos’ grandchildren (kids of his grown kids from marriage #1) to whom these kids will be “aunt” and/or “uncle.”
And, as if the post-mid-life mid-life crisis wasn’t obvious enough, Karmanos’ friends held a “man shower“–yup, a baby shower for a man–for him. I’m wondering whether Kwame Kilpatrick was in attendance.
Real Man in Shower . . .
Girlie-Man in “Man Shower” . . .
“Man Shower” Guest of Honor Pete Karmanos
w/Daughter, er . . . Wife #3, Danialle Karmanos
Just what does one do at a “man shower”? I’m not sure, since it appears to me that men who hold one are a little testosterone-starved (and Karmanos admitted in sworn testimony in a sexual harassment lawsuit that he brought pre-Viagra sexual stimulants to work). At least we know, in Karmanos’ case, they won’t be giving each other haircuts. The bald Karmanos finally brought himself to cut off his absurd ponytail a while ago.
Karmanos’ friends gave him a “Real Men Have Twins” t-shirt, which could also be worn by that guy in Vegas who had breast implants put in to win a bet.
But, ya know, Karmanos is a “new kind of a guy.” He cries and does yoga. Yet more things that “real men” don’t do.
As I noted before, Karmanos is an advisor to Michigan Republican gubernatorial candidate, pan-Islamist Attorney General, and all-around sleazebag, Mike Cox. I urge Karmanos to advise Cox to cry, do yoga, and have “man showers.”
It will help my candidate of choice, Republican Congressman Pete Hoekstra, best him in the primary.
By the way, it should be noted that when I searched man shower in google images, many of the results were from gay porn. Not that this was a surprise. Just a tiny hint for Mr. Karmanos.