July 6, 2009, - 10:05 am

Men, the New Women, Alert: Skinny Jeans on Dudes & Male Muffintop Syndrome

By Debbie Schlussel
I’ve told you about the many efforts of the fashion industry to feminize men via clothing. Whether it’s the invention of a euphemism for hot pink–”man-genta“–or the presentation of “man corsets” at a recent Paris Men’s Fashion Week show, most of these efforts are ridiculous and won’t, thankfully, become a national trend for American men.
But there is one fashion trend I’ve ripped in the past that has sadly taken hold. And, unfortunately, two of the nation’s largest jeans retailers–Levi’s and The Gap–are helping it along. I can hear Levi Strauss doing revolutions in his grave.
And I say, PLEASE. MAKE. IT. STOP.

malemuffintop.jpgmuffintop.jpg

Just Say NO To Men’s Skinny Jeans & Male Muffintop

Doug Black has found himself in a tight squeeze more times than he cares to remember. One day, he got caught in the rain without an umbrella and was unable to run. When his colleagues sat in a circle, the 23-year-old English teacher from Portland, Ore., couldn’t cross his legs. And when he tried to jaywalk, while in Beijing for work, he couldn’t hop the median divider with his friends.
“I had to walk half a mile down the street on my own to use the crosswalk,” he says.
His jeans were too tight. But he has no plans to buy a looser style. “Discomfort comes with the territory,” he says.
Skinny jeans, with tapered legs and narrow-peg ankles, seemed like a flash in the pan when they appeared in stores a few years ago. They seemed more suited to women. Today, though, sales of men’s skinny jeans are going strong, and mass brands Gap and Levi’s are getting in on the action.
Explanations abound for why men would want to wear jeans that look so uncomfortable and impractical. Some fashion observers say skinny jeans’ tight hold on certain men stems in part from the wearers’ desire to show off their gym-sculpted bodies. Then, too, denim brands, retailers and men’s fashion magazines have relentlessly promoted skinny jeans. And pop stars like Justin Timberlake and Kanye West, by wearing skinny jeans, have given something resembling permission for style-conscious young men to wear them.
But men are discovering, as women have long known, that the style can be unforgiving. One sometimes must diet and wiggle, tug and stretch to squeeze into a pair of tight jeans.

Another unwelcome trend this ushers in and which this article doesn’t mention: the male muffintop (see photo above). Um, no thanks. Something I’d rather not see. There are a enough fat chicks displaying disgusting muffintop flesh. We don’t need fat men to do it, too.
As readers know, I’m no fan of hip-hop pimp Jay-Z, but I gotta agree with him here.

Dozens of groups opposed to men wearing skinny jeans have formed on Facebook with names like “Men Should Not Wear Skinny Jeans.” . . .
The rapper Jay-Z taunts skinny-jeans-wearing rappers as effeminate in his recent song “D.O.A.” Sample lyric: “You boys jeans too tight, you colors too bright, your voice too light.”

Right on. Seinfeld had it right, too.

Jerry Seinfeld poked fun at slim-fitting jeans in a 1996 episode of “Seinfeld.” The Kramer character barges into Jerry’s apartment wearing a pair of jeans so tight he is forced to adopt an unnatural walk. When Kramer has trouble taking off the jeans, Jerry tries to yank them off by the legs. The actor playing Kramer, Michael Richards, injured himself slightly during the filming of that scene.

Chick clothes on dudes–not only hazardous to your health, hazardous to the male gender.
If you wanna be a man, don’t dress like a girl.

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33 Responses

Muffin top!
*screams*
I wish I could be that oblivious in regards to my appearance. They must be too good to use such an old fashioned device like a mirror. Perhaps a “the-mirror-is-your-friend” app on the iPhone or Blackberry would help. Nah. What was I thinking?

cirrus1701 on July 6, 2009 at 11:18 am

[Just Say NO To Men's Skinny Jeans & Male Muffintop]
That is so late 80′s. What’s wrong with these people?

Norman Blitzer on July 6, 2009 at 11:18 am

Slim jeans look cool on young, thin guys. They’re ridiculous on guys with middle age spread. On the latter, they accentuate the least flattering part of the male anatomy. As guys get older, they wear to wear larger and more comfortable jeans. When I was a young man, I used to fit 34. Now I wear 36 and relaxed style jeans are good for comfort and looks. I don’t think its really a question of gender as its a question of being age-appropriate. Older men and women should stop trying to looking teens and 20 somethings and dress their age. If you wear jeans, wear what you look good in and don’t wear them to follow a trend. Your body and your wallet will thank you.

NormanF on July 6, 2009 at 1:12 pm

It’s a matter of taste but really, not many people look good in skinny-tailored, tapered slacks of any fabric. While trying out a zinfandel at a local winery, a wedding was being staged. All the male participants were dressed in dark suits with skinny legs and ties with white shirts. It looked like a Beatles revival. They were all slim and looked rediculous anyway.

iowavette on July 6, 2009 at 1:45 pm

Agreed. I’m the rare male who has a slender, delicate build and while at my age, with dieting, I could fit into slim jeans, the truth is I don’t think they’re at all how I like to dress. The politically incorrect truth is men (unless they’re gay) are just not that into fashion like women and few of them read GQ. A guy’s idea of an evening outfit is a tuxedo. That’s as far as men do with daring in clothing and they like simple, functional and comfortable clothing. That goes for jeans and the rest of menswear. Women should never expect men to be up to date on style and coordination as them and men happily go through life ignorant of the buzz from the fashion capitals like Paris and Milan.

NormanF on July 6, 2009 at 2:21 pm

Skinny Jeans…yet another example of Madison Avenue selling a lie to America!

NEPatriot on July 6, 2009 at 2:56 pm

what girl would want a girly-man anyway? I’d rather have a tough rugged man’s man than a whiny man wannabe

mindy1 on July 6, 2009 at 6:43 pm

Give me Comfort Fit, or give me death!

NJBeachbum on July 6, 2009 at 9:14 pm

Don’t be surprised when they come with a zipper in the back.
This guy I worked with had a pair of tight fitting jeans. I said “what the hell is with those pants?”. He said his wife bought them for him. I said “Dude, real men don’t wear low rise jeans.” He never wore them again. I shamed the hell out of him. His wife was upset with me for a while.
It is bad enough women have to hold the back end of their jeans when they bend over because they wear low rise jeans. Now quasi-men will be doing this. What a joke.

californiascreaming on July 7, 2009 at 12:49 am

skinny blond guys 5’2-5’6 115-140 look better in clothes like that other wise they would never get noticed

pete shelden on May 10, 2010 at 11:14 pm

blond guys 5’2 to 5’6 115-140 would never get noticed
if they didn’t wear skinny jeans

pete shelden on May 10, 2010 at 11:18 pm

Skinny Jeans on men are great, it depends just if you have a slender body and the mental attitude to wear them.

It’s kinda a new heroin-chic for boys, maybe not in the US but in Europe…

Michael Fox on September 11, 2010 at 10:00 am

it was funny everybody hated on skinny jeans now that wayne and juelz rock em everybody on they dick it funny how swagg changed from 4xl tall tees size 38 jeans with some js to size 0 girl pants baby brothers tee and vans something aint right them mainstream cats have got yall real talk if wayne wore a skirt all yall would wear a skirt fake ass fuck

leavedemjeanstofemales on December 23, 2010 at 8:09 pm

why you gotta be like that….. get over it…

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