March 16, 2007, - 9:39 am
By Debbie Schlussel
**** SCROLL DOWN FOR UPDATE ****
Please take note that none of the pictures or services described in this post are parodies. I swear I’m not making this stuff up. It actually exists.
Yes, you, too, can now train your dog, Spot, to surf. Or your Shih Tzu can get a Shiatsu.
From the March/April issue of “Departures,” a luxury travel magazine, owned by American Express:
At the Beverly Hills Hotel and Bungalows, canine and feline clients . . . are greeted by name whenever they pass through the lobby. For the pup worried about wrinkles from sun damage–we’re looking at you, sharpei–check out the doggy cabanas at Las Ventanas al Paraiso in Los Cabos, Mexico. More active hounds should head to Loews Coronado Bay Resort & Spa; the dog surfing lessons here ($300 for a one-night package) compete with a program at Honolulu’s Kahala Hotel & Resort that teaches dogs to obey commands in Hawaiian for the Most Amusing Pet-Service Award. A close runner-up: the Sarasota, Florida Ritz-Carlton, which rejuvenates pets with four types of massages ($130 for one hour), including Swedish and sports therapy. Las Ventanas has also added massage to its list of almost unbelievable pet services.
Um, “unbelievable” is not the word I’d use. More like, absurd.
Sorry, but if you have that kind of money to burn on pet surfing lessons and massage, spend it on sending some of our troops serving in Iraq some magazines or on something else more worthwhile, like helping victims of terrorism.
Yup, PETA–or as we prefer to call it here, PUTAh (People for the Unethical Treatment of Animals and humans)–has won. We are now treating our pets better than we treat most actual people. Animals have now been exalted to post-human status.
**** UPDATE: Tom of Hawaii Surf Session Report, a surfing expert and professional, writes:
Nice post about the pampering of dogs.
Real surf dogs don’t need lessons.
I just wanted to point out the cruelty of NOT providing a wet-suit for the dog in those cold Cali water.
Check out this surf dog….never had one lesson;-)
Keep up the good work. God bless you.
Thanks, Tom. I guess we can’t expect animal-pandering hotels which teach dogs to surf, to actually know much about surfing.
Tags: American Express, Beverly Hills Hotel, Cali, Debbie Schlussel, Florida Ritz-Carlton, Honolulu, Honolulu's Kahala Hotel, Iraq, Loews, Los Cabos, luxury travel magazine, massage, massages, Mexico, runner-up, Shiatsu, sports therapy, surfing, unbelievable pet services, USD