March 26, 2007, - 12:04 pm

Slick Willie, First Lady

By Debbie Schlussel
If and when Hillary Rodham Cankles is elected President, the April issue of Glamour notes the duties–normally assigned to the First Lady–that First Lady William Jefferson Clinton will have to oversee (the comments in parentheses are mine):
* Supervise the butlers and kitchen staff (especially if they’re hot, female, and wear thongs . . . just like Monica–well, at least she was female and wore thongs);
* Redecorate the Presidential living quarters (red crushed velvet, animal rugs, a vibrating bed, and Elvis’ fur pillow cases for the Lincoln bedroom sound like the Slick Willie-style decor);

billclintonapron.jpg

“Hey Honey, Come & Taste My White House ‘Cookies.’”

* Announce his favorite recipe to the press (Hillary couldn’t bake cookies, but she claimed she made “a mean tossed salad;” Bill could make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, with a side of oysters for that libido-enhancement, or Viagra-frosted cupcakes);
* Entertain the wives of ambassadors at teas (especially if they’re hot and want a “tour” of the Lincoln Bedroom);
* Organize the annual White House Easter egg hunt (Cool, he gets to kiss them under the mistle-toe. Oops, wrong holiday. Damn, those girls are underage, but he could reserve them a White House “intern” slot for a few years from now; “When you turn 17, come see me, honey.”);
Well, it looks like First Lady Bill Clinton will have to stick to his more preferable day job as Chief Judge in the Hawaiian Tropic bikini contest.

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6 Responses

If Hitlery Rotten Clintoon is elected President she will divorce Bill and marry Rosie O’Donnell.

FreethinkerNY on March 26, 2007 at 2:33 pm

Debbie wrote;
“* Redecorate the Presidential living quarters (red crushed velvet, animal rugs, a vibrating bed, and Elvis’ fur pillow cases for the Lincoln bedroom sound like the Slick Willie-style decor)”
Let’s not forget about the back seats of the presidential limousines lined with Astro Turf.

Thee_Bruno on March 26, 2007 at 2:42 pm

If another Clinton is elected President this country will collapse at it’s seams.

the_don on March 26, 2007 at 2:54 pm

I figured Hillary would redecorate the Presidential Living Quarters in chains, cuffs, whips, mid-thigh leather boots, SS uniforms, and a rack for good measure.
The Lincoln Bedroom would be stocked with the finest cigars for Hilly and her carpet-munchin’ pals to enjoy getting a taste of what Billy Boy did.

1shot1kill on March 26, 2007 at 2:55 pm

I do not know about the rest of you but Bill Clinton, as of late, looks really ill. He is starting to get that rock Hudson look.
IMHO-I think maybe he has got Aids. He has aged 20 years in the last four and has lost a lot of weight.

ScottyDog on March 26, 2007 at 11:14 pm

Clintoon looks like Hell. Could be a case of Presidential Aids.

FreethinkerNY on March 27, 2007 at 12:57 pm

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