September 20, 2005, - 1:49 pm
By Debbie Schlussel
Yes, I did see the Oprah “Hermes Kowtow/Look at Me, I’m Giving $10 Mill” show, yesterday. And I wasn’t going to write about it, because I figured everyone else would be.
But, due to popular demand, I’ve changed my mind. Basically four things happened on the show (besides Jennifer Aniston, about whom we DON’T care):
1) Oprah announced that Hermes wasn’t closed, but “they were in the process of being closed.” Hello, HOprah . . . that means the store was CLOOOOOSED!
2) Oprah announced that it is now okay to buy an Hermes Birkin Bag (an $8,000 purse–Thanks for the tip, Oprah, that this average-priced item is now off the HOprah prohibited purchase list) because Hermes USA’s president came on the show to personally apologize to the Almighty, Her Excellency, Queen HOprah, and because everyone who now works for the company must undergo “sensitivity training.” That means: If you work for Hermes and you are “in the process of closing,” you must stop everything for a haughty celebrity who is a minority; for all Whites and average people, the store is still closed.
3) Billionaire Oprah announced that she is donating “$10 million of my own money” to Hurricane Katrina relief. Why did she have to announce it? Would she have donated this relative drop in the bucket without the publicity? Don’t count on it.
4) Billionaire Oprah asked the average stay-at-home Oprah viewer to help her. “But I need your help” in buying stuff for the homes of the victims, she announced. She needs out help? Why can’t she donate a little more out of her billions and take care of it herself? And why did this take three weeks, while doing her “Look at ME on the Watery Dead Bodies with My Celeb Buddies” shows from New Orleans and Houston, took only a week?
Oprah announced that corporations can donate through her modestly-named “Angel Network,” too. No, corporations don’t want to get the recognition, themselves. They’d rather donate to Oprah and let her get the credit for their money, right?
Tags: Debbie Schlussel Yes, George Bush, Hermes USA, Houston, Jennifer Aniston, Maine, New Orleans, Oprah, President, Queen, USD