October 16, 2013, - 7:01 pm
The jihad on peanuts is growing.
Remember the days when peanut allergies were unheard of, and you could still eat peanuts on an airplane or in a public school? Well, suddenly every single precious kid in the world developed allegedly deadly allergies. And as part of the peanutty political correctness, the legumes–roasted, salted, or otherwise–are not only off the menu at those places, but also now banned from a Big Ten football game. This weekend, Northwestern University’s game against the Minnesota Golden Gophers will be “peanut free.” I don’t know when so many kids started to magically become deathly ill from peanuts, but it’s really getting absurd when you have the politically correct food police guarding against peanuts at a big-time football game, with more gusto than they guard against bombs and other real threats.
Stop the Madness!
When the Northwestern Wildcats face off against the Minnesota Golden Gophers at Ryan Field in Evanston on Saturday, something will be missing: peanuts. Northwestern University is hosting its first peanut-free football game to give fans with allergies a chance to focus on the game instead of worrying about negative reactions to the popular stadium snack, which can range from mild irritation to life-threatening anaphylactic shock.
That’s a big draw for Joyce Mason’s family, Northwestern fans from Gurnee. Mason’s daughter Julie, 13, has a potentially life-threatening peanut allergy. Safeguards such as wiping down the seats and traveling with two EpiPens to counter severe reactions aren’t always enough. At a Cubs game a few years ago, Julie broke out in hives and began wheezing despite taking all of those precautions, Mason said, so now they attend only peanut-free games.
Huh? If you have to be that much of a peanut Nazi in order to live, here’s a tip: Don’t. Go. To. The. Game. Stay home, and don’t make everyone else bow to your special needs. This is really all about selfishness, NOT about health.
Peanut allergies affect about five of every 1,000 Americans and are on the rise, said Raoul Wolf, chief of the pediatric allergy and immunology section at University of Chicago Medicine. Though closed environments like airplanes pose a greater danger, stadiums can be “a huge risk,” Wolf said. “If you can smell the peanuts, there’s enough protein in the air to cause a bad reaction. For the most sensitive patients, it’s not a risk worth taking.”
Wow, so because a half of a percent of Americans are affected by peanut allergies, everyone else has to abstain from them? Given that percentage is just under the seven-tenths of a percent of Americans who are Muslim, perhaps we should ban all pig and other non-halal products from all sports stadiums, too. Don’t worry, that’s coming in our future. And I view these Peanazis with the same disdain (though the peanut allergists don’t fly planes into buildings, shoot up Army bases, and try to blow up Americans with underwear and shoes). They want all of us to change our lifestyles and bend over for them.
Several major and minor league baseball teams, including the White Sox, Cubs and Kane County Cougars have banned peanuts in certain sections at select games, as have the Wolves hockey team. But the Wildcats may be the first college team to host an allergy-friendly game, said Dan Yopchick, a Northwestern spokesman. The NCAA does not track which teams offer peanut-free events.
No peanut products will be sold or permitted inside Ryan Field on Saturday. They’ve already started powerwashing the stadium’s nearly 50,000 seats to eliminate any peanut residue.
I wonder what happens if someone sneaks a bag of peanuts into the stadium and starts eating them. Do they get arrested for assault or terrorism?
While some will miss a favorite game-day food, it will be a huge relief for fans with allergies, said Julie Campbell, president of the not-for-profit Illinois Food Allergy Education Association.
“When the whole game is peanut-free, you can relax and enjoy the game like everybody else,” Campbell said.
Uh, no, you are not like everybody else. Everybody else (or at least most of them) doesn’t impose their very specialized food restrictions on you. Just the other way around.
Like I asked before, when did America become so sensitive to peanuts? And why?
I propose a special stadium for a new “No You Can’t” football and baseball league. The place will be perfect for gluten-free, vegan, peanut-allergic, Muslim sports fans. The only thing served will be vegetables, and there will be a few gaunt, skeletal fans in attendance, while the rest of Americans are allowed to live their lives as they please and eat what they want where they want.
Just say “no” to the food Nazis.
Tags: anaphylactic shock, Big Ten, food Nazis, food police, Northwestern University, PC Food Police, peanut allergies, peanut free, peanuts, Ryan Field, Ryan Field no peanuts, Ryan Field peanut free