February 13, 2014, - 3:37 pm
WIMP, Not Courageous: Gay Football Player Michael Sam’s Dad Not Told ‘Til Week Ago . . . By Text Message; History? A Muslim Michael Sam
You would think that Missouri football player Michael Sam–who is being hailed as “courageous” by the Pres, his First Ms. Thang, and his Vice Lackey–would have had the courage to tell his own father he is gay. But you would be wrong. In fact, Michael Sam Sr., the father of the NFL prospect was among the last to know. While the entire Missouri team knew (Sam told most of his friends and teammates two years ago), most NFL scouts knew, and hundreds of others knew that Michael Sam likes Barney’s Franks, his own father was told just a week ago. That ain’t courage. It’s cowardice. Even more cowardly: Michael Sam didn’t have the guts to tell his dad the news in person or even by phone. Nope, it was via text message . . . the way cowardly people send “Dear John” letters. Oh, and it was on Sam’s father’s birthday. Dear Dad: Here’s a B-day present you’re never gonna forget.
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And Michael Sam Jr.’s dad is humiliated. Not just humiliated among a small group of people. He’s humiliated among the world. That tells us all what Michael Sam is all about. And it’s definitely not courage.
My reaction earlier this week when Missouri football player Michael Sam declared he’s gay was the same one I posted on this site when failed NBA player Jason Collins told the world that he, too, was gay: I wonder about people who tie their entire identities to whom they are having sex with and the kind of sex acts in which they engage. In fact, I don’t wonder. I know there’s a chip missing. And I can’t quite figure out why it’s become “courageous” to tell the word about it. I personally couldn’t care less that these guys like to have oral and anal sex with men and tie their whole identity up in it. Tells me there ain’t much more to them than the kind of sex they have. They are damaged people. Very sad, empty people. I really don’t care about your sex life. That you think I should know tells me a lot about you: you’re a narcissist.
When Collins told the world he was gay, his female fiancee of eight years wasn’t yet aware. I guess we are supposed to consider Michael Sam a “class act” for telling his father only last week, just days before he told the entire world, and months after a good deal of people already knew.
Now, I’m not saying the Sam father or the rest of the family are any kind of great shakes. Michael Sam Sr. bragged to the New York Times that he took one of his sons to Mexico to “lose his virginity.” Wow, classy–this family. Also sad is that Sam Jr. is one of 8 kids, two of whom are in prison and three of whom are dead. Doesn’t sound like his dad was in his life much. And I’m not sure we can say better about his mother.
If pointing this out makes me a snob, here’s a tip: this is one of those ever-multiplying number of cases in which snobbery is vastly underrated and all too rare of a commodity these days (except in movies, where there’s always still that stock evil rich White guy at the country club). There’s something definitely messed up in this family. Not courageous. Not even close. They are, sadly, oh so typical of the urban killing fields of America that seem to be our future because everyone else is too busy watching Cupcake Wars and synthetic Real Housewives or shopping at and trying desperately to be Forever 21.
So when Barack Obama, Michelle LaVaughn Robinson Hussein Obama Idi Amin Dada, and Vice Clownident Joe Biden tweet that this guy is “courageous” for coming out as gay, they don’t know what the hell they’re talking about (as with 99.9% of most other things).
If coming out as gay were the mark of courage, RuPaul would be our national war hero.
After all, Michael Sam is only the gazillionth man to come out as gay. It’s not new. It’s not unique. And it’s not courage. Not even close.
And it’s not history. It won’t even be history when the first Hawaiian Tropic Bikini Contest Judge comes out as gay.
It will be historic and courageous when a guy like Michael Sam comes out publicly as gay in a Muslim city like Riyadh or Tehran and manages to live until nightfall.
Every other gay declaration is as banal as stale bread. And just as much empty carbs.
He grew up about 40 miles southeast of Houston near Galveston Bay in Texas, the seventh of eight children. Three of his siblings have died and two brothers are in prison. He lived briefly in the back seat of his mother’s car, and his relationship with his family remains complicated: When he visits home, he usually stays with friends. . . .
Last Tuesday, Michael Sam Sr. was at a Denny’s near his home outside Dallas to celebrate his birthday when his son sent him a text message.
Dad, I’m gay, he wrote.
The party stopped cold. “I couldn’t eat no more, so I went to Applebee’s to have drinks,” Sam Sr. said. “I don’t want my grandkids raised in that kind of environment. “I’m old school,” he added. “I’m a man-and-a-woman type of guy.” As evidence, he pointed out that he had taken an older son to Mexico to lose his virginity. On Sunday night, just after Michael Sam announced his intention to make sports history, his father was still struggling with the news.
Sam Sr. loves his son, and he said he hoped his son made it to the N.F.L. “As a black man, we have so many hurdles to cross,” he said. “This is just one he has to cross.” But he expressed discomfort at the very idea of a gay N.F.L. player, even if the player was his son. He grumbled that Deacon Jones, the Hall of Fame defensive end renowned for his toughness, “is turning over in his grave.”
Huh? What hurdles? Affirmative action, minority set-asides, Obamaphones, hip-hop and Black urban culture as the leading American trendsetters? And here’s a tip: the same goes for gays. They are also trendsetters and in vogue. It’s us straight, White people who have the double hurdles to cross, these days. Especially those of you who are male, straight, and White–the three no-nos.
It’s weird this guy cites Deacon Jones, whom he probably never knew (I once shot a pilot with the late Jones), and doesn’t cite his own father instead. I get the feeling he didn’t have one in his life either. And the cycle continues.
Tags: courage, gay athletes, Michael Sam, Michael Sam dad, Michael Sam Gay, Michael Sam Jr., Michael Sam Sr.