February 13, 2014, - 3:37 pm

WIMP, Not Courageous: Gay Football Player Michael Sam’s Dad Not Told ‘Til Week Ago . . . By Text Message; History? A Muslim Michael Sam

By Debbie Schlussel

You would think that Missouri football player Michael Sam–who is being hailed as “courageous” by the Pres, his First Ms. Thang, and his Vice Lackey–would have had the courage to tell his own father he is gay. But you would be wrong. In fact, Michael Sam Sr., the father of the NFL prospect was among the last to know. While the entire Missouri team knew (Sam told most of his friends and teammates two years ago), most NFL scouts knew, and hundreds of others knew that Michael Sam likes Barney’s Franks, his own father was told just a week ago. That ain’t courage. It’s cowardice. Even more cowardly: Michael Sam didn’t have the guts to tell his dad the news in person or even by phone. Nope, it was via text message . . . the way cowardly people send “Dear John” letters. Oh, and it was on Sam’s father’s birthday. Dear Dad: Here’s a B-day present you’re never gonna forget.

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And Michael Sam Jr.’s dad is humiliated. Not just humiliated among a small group of people. He’s humiliated among the world. That tells us all what Michael Sam is all about. And it’s definitely not courage.

My reaction earlier this week when Missouri football player Michael Sam declared he’s gay was the same one I posted on this site when failed NBA player Jason Collins told the world that he, too, was gay: I wonder about people who tie their entire identities to whom they are having sex with and the kind of sex acts in which they engage. In fact, I don’t wonder. I know there’s a chip missing. And I can’t quite figure out why it’s become “courageous” to tell the word about it. I personally couldn’t care less that these guys like to have oral and anal sex with men and tie their whole identity up in it. Tells me there ain’t much more to them than the kind of sex they have. They are damaged people. Very sad, empty people. I really don’t care about your sex life. That you think I should know tells me a lot about you: you’re a narcissist.






When Collins told the world he was gay, his female fiancee of eight years wasn’t yet aware. I guess we are supposed to consider Michael Sam a “class act” for telling his father only last week, just days before he told the entire world, and months after a good deal of people already knew.

Now, I’m not saying the Sam father or the rest of the family are any kind of great shakes. Michael Sam Sr. bragged to the New York Times that he took one of his sons to Mexico to “lose his virginity.” Wow, classy–this family. Also sad is that Sam Jr. is one of 8 kids, two of whom are in prison and three of whom are dead. Doesn’t sound like his dad was in his life much. And I’m not sure we can say better about his mother.

If pointing this out makes me a snob, here’s a tip: this is one of those ever-multiplying number of cases in which snobbery is vastly underrated and all too rare of a commodity these days (except in movies, where there’s always still that stock evil rich White guy at the country club). There’s something definitely messed up in this family. Not courageous. Not even close. They are, sadly, oh so typical of the urban killing fields of America that seem to be our future because everyone else is too busy watching Cupcake Wars and synthetic Real Housewives or shopping at and trying desperately to be Forever 21.

So when Barack Obama, Michelle LaVaughn Robinson Hussein Obama Idi Amin Dada, and Vice Clownident Joe Biden tweet that this guy is “courageous” for coming out as gay, they don’t know what the hell they’re talking about (as with 99.9% of most other things).

If coming out as gay were the mark of courage, RuPaul would be our national war hero.

After all, Michael Sam is only the gazillionth man to come out as gay. It’s not new. It’s not unique. And it’s not courage. Not even close.

And it’s not history. It won’t even be history when the first Hawaiian Tropic Bikini Contest Judge comes out as gay.

It will be historic and courageous when a guy like Michael Sam comes out publicly as gay in a Muslim city like Riyadh or Tehran and manages to live until nightfall.

Every other gay declaration is as banal as stale bread. And just as much empty carbs.

***

More:

He grew up about 40 miles southeast of Houston near Galveston Bay in Texas, the seventh of eight children. Three of his siblings have died and two brothers are in prison. He lived briefly in the back seat of his mother’s car, and his relationship with his family remains complicated: When he visits home, he usually stays with friends. . . .

Last Tuesday, Michael Sam Sr. was at a Denny’s near his home outside Dallas to celebrate his birthday when his son sent him a text message.

Dad, I’m gay, he wrote.

The party stopped cold. “I couldn’t eat no more, so I went to Applebee’s to have drinks,” Sam Sr. said. “I don’t want my grandkids raised in that kind of environment. “I’m old school,” he added. “I’m a man-and-a-woman type of guy.” As evidence, he pointed out that he had taken an older son to Mexico to lose his virginity. On Sunday night, just after Michael Sam announced his intention to make sports history, his father was still struggling with the news.

Sam Sr. loves his son, and he said he hoped his son made it to the N.F.L. “As a black man, we have so many hurdles to cross,” he said. “This is just one he has to cross.” But he expressed discomfort at the very idea of a gay N.F.L. player, even if the player was his son. He grumbled that Deacon Jones, the Hall of Fame defensive end renowned for his toughness, “is turning over in his grave.”

Huh? What hurdles? Affirmative action, minority set-asides, Obamaphones, hip-hop and Black urban culture as the leading American trendsetters? And here’s a tip: the same goes for gays. They are also trendsetters and in vogue. It’s us straight, White people who have the double hurdles to cross, these days. Especially those of you who are male, straight, and White–the three no-nos.

It’s weird this guy cites Deacon Jones, whom he probably never knew (I once shot a pilot with the late Jones), and doesn’t cite his own father instead. I get the feeling he didn’t have one in his life either. And the cycle continues.

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79 Responses

Nice Flotus interruptus

Frankz on February 13, 2014 at 4:07 pm

1. “his first Ms. Thang”- bad, and wrong. Calling the first lady Ms. Thang is just bad. She is harmless, let her live. She should be off limits, D.S.

2. “Michael Sam likes Barney’s Franks”- Ingenious and Classic!

3. “If coming out as gay were the mark of courage, RuPaul would be our national war hero.”-Another Classic line-good zinger

I agree with most of your article, Who Cares, and its a very good point you make Debbie, when you break it down, its all about who a person sleeps with. Period. End of story. Why does anyone need to announce who they are sleeping with? Beautiful Point!

Big D on February 13, 2014 at 4:08 pm

    So they can get in your big stupid face big DD.

    Frankz on February 13, 2014 at 4:32 pm

    just being harmless

    Frankz on February 13, 2014 at 4:47 pm

    BigD, while I appreciate your call for civility on Point No. 1, I must endeavor to point out a couple things.

    Was Hitlary Rotten Cu_ton “harmless?” Is Moochelle Mah Belle harmless? Hardly. Delve in to this woman’s history a bit. She is every bit the America hating radical her husband is.

    I have a strong feeling that this couple may be engaged in a “team presidency” much as The Great StainMaker and The Dragon Lady. Hitlary Rotten Cu_ton has zero accomplishments during her long lifetime, yet she has held many titles. She has been handed title after title, and her star power has grown to the point where I can almost guarantee you, she will be our next president.

    I’m not sure we’re going to have a next president, because The Sultan-In-Chief is probably going to pull a Mike Bloomberg, and have things extended, maybe even become president for life. Believe it. There ARE people that would love to see that. But The Ayatollah-In-Chief’s wife is anything but harmless. Check into it.

    Alfredo from Puerto Rico on February 13, 2014 at 8:55 pm

      I agree, Alfredo, especially about abolishing Term Limits. I’ve been saying it since 2007 when people were laughing at me for believing this guy was going to win in the first place. And I also believe it is a “team” presidency as was the Clintons. No, Michelle is not harmless.

      Meira on February 14, 2014 at 5:20 am

    Why should the Worst Lady be off limits ? America and white America, even more so, is not off limits to her. She comments on or slams America , and we’re supposed not respond ?

    William on February 15, 2014 at 1:01 pm

Michael Sam asked for the spotlight be turned on himself by speaking publicly what kind of sexual activities he wants. This has absolutely nothing to do with playing professional football and everything to do with being a Publicity Whore leveraging the one thing that makes him stand out. Well, maybe two things, but I do not want to go there ..

Michael San is just another Attention Whore.

Jack on February 13, 2014 at 4:09 pm

Definitely narcissistic, but also, possibly related to the hope of making money from endorsements.

Anti-bacterial sprays?

His family background makes me wonder how much of this is environmental. I’m not saying genetics is never involved, but I don’t think it explains 100% of gay sexuality.

Little Al on February 13, 2014 at 4:11 pm

    Maybe my joke was not in the best of taste — but I’m just tired of having all this political correctness thrown in my face.

    Little Al on February 13, 2014 at 4:52 pm

    Edmund Bergler, a psychoanlyst who worked in the 1950s and had worked with Sigmund Freud earlier, has helped to define the environmental factors that correlate to homosexuality. Even if you don’t know about Bergler or his writings on psychology, you surely have heard about “writer’s block.” He coined that term and developed treatments to deal with it. You might be interested to know that “narcissism” is one of the personality characteristics that are common homosexuals. According to Bergler, however, the underlying drivers are “infantile megalomania” or “infantile omnipotence.”

    Of course, modern psychologist largely discount Bergler’s work on the subject–just as they consider Freudian based treatments–“outmoded,” though they copy the structure of the Freudian therapist/patient relationship. The”new” thinking is that homosexuals are simply “born that way,” and have no choice in the matter, and they assume environmental and family relationhships and history are irrelevant. This notion is predominantly due to the popularity of Kinsey’s various “studies.” And so while modern psychiatrists and psychologists attempt to debunk the work of Freud and Bergler, they provide no scientific evidence supporting their own politically correct notions. And it’s unlikely that there is any serious study of the subject in today’s unversities and colleges. Anything addressing the causes of homosexuality will is verboten. It’s become another third rail of life.

    Ralph Adamo on February 13, 2014 at 5:31 pm

Its TMI. Why do some people feel a compulsion to share their sex lives with others? I don’t want to know.

If a man sleeping with a man is a sign of courage in this country, the word has been drained of all meaning.

Quite frankly speaking, I don’t care if football players are gay! Its not like sleeping around with any one is something to brag about.

In our sex-saturated popular culture, we have lost all sense of shame and the limits of propriety.

NormanF on February 13, 2014 at 4:29 pm

Debbie,

I’m so tired of this concept that “coming out” of the closet is courageous and historical. That’s nonsense! There have always been homosexual practicing professional athletes. When I was growing up, Rusty Staub was one of my favorite baseball players and everyone knew he was homosexual. He didn’t “come out”. It wasn’t necessary and it still isn’t. If he had, that would have been selfish and absurd. To this day, I still have fond memories of Staub’s baseball abilities and class.

Imagine if someone “came out” in an office environment. It would be silly and that person would be laughed at (not out loud, but in silence, b/c anything else would get you fired these days). In a close working environment, everyone pretty much knows who’s homosexual and it doesn’t need to be discussed and has no place in a working environment. It’s not appropriate.

This is all a big effort to force moral-minded people to accept the behavior, which we never will of course. I fear that the next steps will be much worse. Imagine if one day openly homosexuals force themselves into real religious places of worship (as opposed to phony ones like Jewish Reform synagogues), such as orthodox synagogues!? Don’t be surprised if this happens.

David on February 13, 2014 at 4:29 pm

What do you want to bet he doesn’t get drafted, sues the NFL, and WINS!?

Tommy Thomas on February 13, 2014 at 4:54 pm

Coming out as gay in a straight, homophobic world is courageous. You would only know this if you had a child who came out as gay and then worried about his/her safety and happiness. Cut him some slack…

Karen on February 13, 2014 at 5:02 pm

    “straight, homophobic”

    Huh?

    So.it’s “homophobic” to be heterosexual?
    And what is so “homophobic” about preferring the opposite sex?

    ebayer on February 13, 2014 at 5:18 pm

I follow the NFL draft process very closely, and Sam’s revelation comes only a couple weeks after he woefully under performed at the Senior Bowl. Now, when he’s drafted in the 5th round, he’ll have a ready made excuse: “Homophobia!”

Michael Sam isn’t big enough to be a 4-3 DE, nor does he have ideal size and speed to start at outside LB in a 3-4 scheme. He’s a “tweener” who was never likely to find a starting job in the NFL. He’s a special teams player and back-up, at best.

What he’s done now has put pressure on the NFL to put pressure on teams to draft him higher. And when he doesn’t perform in the NFL and is eventually cut: it was homophobia. Any GM stupid enough to take him before the 6th round deserves what he gets.

adam on February 13, 2014 at 5:04 pm

    adam, according to Debbie, he told his teammates two years ago. So, at least some of the story is not attributable to his current performance.

    skzion on February 13, 2014 at 7:55 pm

@ Franz, all good, I can take a little goofin.

1. The other thing regarding this issue, I hear companies are chomping at the bits to get this guy to endorse their products. His agent says, its been nonstop since he made this announcement. He is about to be paid, just for being attracted to penis.

Big D on February 13, 2014 at 5:29 pm

I heard he’s switching to offense but tight end is out of the question….

In all seriousness, I’m pretty much over all this out of the closet and into our faces BS. I’m not homophobic nor do I really care what one does in the privacy of their homes on in their lives as long as it doesn’t become the standard by which we should judge heroics, honesty, integrity, et al. There are lots of common, everyday people in the world perform acts far more courageous and forthright and could care less about the limelight…they just simply do what’s right. The sad fact is we don’t see that anymore because the societal norm has morphed into how nefarious, devious, and morally devoid one can be to climb the top of Mt. PoliticalFellatio.

This country is going in the tank….FAST!

IceNoMore on February 13, 2014 at 5:49 pm

Debbie:

I have to respect the courage of people who come out, so I am going to come out right here and now. I am a straight man who likes women.

Where is my phone call from the First Lady?

I’m waiting…my the phones are out at the White House.

And is Obama so wrapped up about gays and lesbians because he married a transsexual? Or is it because he swings both ways?

Jonathan E. Grant on February 13, 2014 at 5:54 pm

    JEG, some months back you came out here as a lesbian. I’m getting confused.

    skzion on February 13, 2014 at 7:57 pm

I am a straight white male. I had two children in wedlock, until my wife went through a mid life crisis and left me for my kids karate instructor. I paid child support for a decade, never missing a payment. Paid health insurance, and assorted medical bills. Never got a break from the courts, it was just assumed because I was a male, that the mother would better suited to raise my kids. I still tried to see them every chance I could. I worked sick countless times, even being evicted once because I could not pay the rent. The ex still got her money though, the kids never went without. It took 3 years of living with a friend for me to finally be able to overcome the financial disaster of the divorce. Eventually the ex tired of the poor schmuck she left me for when he had an accident and could not support her anymore. After that it appears she decided that she liked other women and suddenly she was a lesbian. Which one of us do you think was called COURAGEOUS?

John on February 13, 2014 at 5:59 pm

    Obviously, she was, John, because she had the courage to be herself. After all, you are only a heterosexual male. She was a lesbian. And that is why you will never get job preference like she would for a federal contract or position.

    Jonathan E. Grant on February 13, 2014 at 6:28 pm

      Jonathan, thank you for straightening me out, as it were.

      John on February 13, 2014 at 6:32 pm

    Stories like yours truly sadden and enrage me. Women in this country over the last few decades, aided by feminist rhetoric and clever lawyers, have learned to game the legal system to their own advantage in ways that place decent husbands/fathers in a state of indefinite servitude. It is exploitation every bit as real as the worst Third World-style employer-employee situations.

    Many men now avoid marriage not because they are “commitment-phobic,” but because they know what the courts can do to them, should the marriage end. Yes, there are abusive husbands. But a lot of judges will lump them in with the good ones. The result is legal incoherence and personal suffering.

    Primetime on February 13, 2014 at 9:47 pm

Jonathan, if I come out as lesbian you think I could get a cushy federal job?

John on February 13, 2014 at 6:35 pm

First, the term “straightening out” is a very resentful term. How dare you use such language. You have just created a hostile blog, and thus you have violated the civil rights of so many people.

If you became a transsexual, you must definitely would get a job in the Federal Government. Of course, it would help if you were a “Middle Easterner,” (the latest quota category), but not a “bad” Middle Easterner, like those of the Hebraic faith.

Jonathan E. Grant on February 13, 2014 at 6:39 pm

Come to think of it, she just recently hired on with the Feds I believe. It all makes sense now.

John on February 13, 2014 at 6:44 pm

Karen, Your post is pure emotion and not based on truth.If you paid attention you’d know that homosexuals are at far greater risk at being harmed by other homosexuals than hetrosexuals.You should worry about his personal safety when he goes cruising than hetrosexuals being bored to death about hearing about his sexual preference.

Also your not special most of us have a gay relatives that bore us to death about making everything about there lifestyle.

gordez on February 13, 2014 at 6:57 pm

Anyway the point is that Michael now has a new surrogate family.
The president and first lady who if you think about are really surrogate parents to the entire nation or at least they would be in any self respecting dictatorship.
If America is expecting a long slow genteel European style decline well my guess is that’s not in the cards.

Frankz on February 13, 2014 at 6:58 pm

I think he came out saying he is gay so he would get free media attention.Can it be that saying he is gay and will be in locker rooms full of nude men and he would like them all to know he is gay and this why he is drooling and smiling? How many NFL players want to sit and around and listen to him tell them in great detail about the last gay guy he slept with ?He will use the gay card for all it’s worth. They did not draft me because I am gay.They will not pay me as much as they pay the non gay men , because I am gay. They will not let me be a starter right away because I am gay.Blah,blah,blah

Steve on February 13, 2014 at 6:59 pm

First of all I am sick and tired of the First Wookie spouting off on all things in which she knows nothing about ie children’s nutrition and now courage. Second of all please don’t get me wrong because I have nothing against homosexuals in general. I just get so sick and tired because whenever someone comes out and says I’m “gay” everyone thinks that they are soooo courageous. Utter poppycock. There is nothing courageous about what Michael did. No thinking person gives a rip about who you have sex with in this country. The only people who care are those like Odumbo, his beard, Joe(I kicked RINO Ryan’s sorry butt in the VP debate)Biden and the hardcore LGBTTBH(LesbianGayTransgenderedTeaBagHomosexual)crowd. If Mikey wants to show real courage then he can go to another free nation like say Afghanistan and look up the Taliban. Any rat hole cave will do. Go knock on their door and tell them that your a homosexual. Maybe they won’t care and maybe they will(he’d better hope not). It’s just like I said before no one really gives a large blue dressed howler monkey about this guy and his news. I’m just waiting until some actor or athlete comes out and says that he or she goes out at night dressed like a bat to beat criminals to a pulp. Now that’s real courage folks.

Ken B on February 13, 2014 at 7:02 pm

Yeah, yeah you like to take it up the a** pass the gravey

gordez on February 13, 2014 at 7:07 pm

Ha Ha, Facebook is going to add more gender references, like, intersex, bi-gender, gender fluid,etc, ha ha, Wtf is happening in America? Pandora’s funky box has been opened.

Big D on February 13, 2014 at 7:12 pm

    ha ha you’re getting what you voted for i guess

    Frankz on February 13, 2014 at 9:19 pm

The media and all its tentacle outlets have recently taken on a very pro-gay attitude. Now it’s courageous to “come out”. Anything and everything in the world of gaydom is now cool and hip as the Bravo network assures us and according to A&E we better get with the program.

Whatever. I don’t care what people do with their bits and pieces but I do resent gays insisting I know about their sex lives. As with heteros, that should be a private matter.

get real on February 13, 2014 at 7:32 pm

    Really! On another forum, I said basically the same thing and was pounced on because, by identifying myself as a married woman, I was “imposing my gender preference” on gays. Unbelievable.

    Meira on February 14, 2014 at 5:30 am

What a combination for hazing in the NFL. A rookie and GAY to boot. This should be interesting.

JeffT on February 13, 2014 at 7:49 pm

An excellent article Debbie, as usual, and of course, your humorous references are well appreciated. The specifics of your commentary are straight to the center of the dart board, and reflective of my own beliefs and feelings, with respect to this particular situation, and the subjects you covered in general.

Alfredo from Puerto Rico on February 13, 2014 at 8:15 pm

Ok, let me give you a scenario. You, a straight man, is allowed to shower with the Cowboys cheerleaders after each game. Are you going to be able to pretend like its not “exciting.” Are the cheerleaders going to be ok with it? Hmmm

Adam on February 13, 2014 at 8:16 pm

He won’t be hazed one iota. Every lefty pinko and ACLU nut is breathlessly waiting for someone to harass him or say they don’t agree with his lifestyle.

The NFL is all about image and they will read the riot act to the players, who, remember, most don’t have guaranteed contracts.

Listen to the media. They act like THIS is the Super Bowl. They’ve been cheerleading for more gays to come out. “Will this cause other NFL players to come out?” It’s ridiculous to the extreme how they are just going so far overboard on this.

The day is soon coming, much sooner than we think, where Christians are going to be jailed for speech. This is yet another brick in the wall.

Jeff_W on February 13, 2014 at 8:18 pm

Rather than write several paragraphs on why Michael Sam-I-Am’s coming-out was both unnecessary and redundant, you might as well say “IDGAF” (“I Don’t Give A F***”).

As long as Sam has game, IDGAF. I’m yawning. Back to bigger, more pressing issues.

As for any muzzo comparisons – bear in mind that Muslims only persecute gays that they don’t like. (Just like the Nazis had persecuted the Poles/French/Dutch they didn’t like.)

Just saying, eh?

The Reverend Jacques on February 13, 2014 at 8:56 pm

Just heard some Seahawks talking about it on a podcast. Basically, they said that they wouldn’t hang with him because they wouldn’t want players to think they were also gay. They also said they couldn’t be their usual joking selves because they’d be worried about upsetting him. They basically said they’d rather not have him.

Adam on February 13, 2014 at 9:07 pm

    This is a symptom of the whole “self-esteem” movement. You know: “You are a special, unique snowflake”. Penn Jillette pointed out its flaws on an episode of “Bullshit”. You can find that on YouTube.

    This is the reason why too many people get their dicks in a knot over the most trivial, uninteresting, irrelevant shit. Main issue: does Michael Sam have game or not? End discussion. Back to life.

    The Reverend Jacques on February 13, 2014 at 9:26 pm

FYI, Jason Collins (one of the worst players in NBA history) went to that fabulous state dinner at the White House the other day. Why? What connection does he have to France or politics? Ah yes, at the end of his career, Collins told us about his private se life. That gets you to the State of the Union address and a White House dinner?

I followed Missouri and I like Michael Sam as a college player. He was the SEC defensive player of the year. He’s a little bit of a tweener for the NFL — not beefy enoughfor the defensive line, too big for linebaker. I expect he’ll be drafted in the low third round or high fourth round.

Barry Popik on February 13, 2014 at 9:28 pm

Well, this is a topic sure to bring out the worst in the regulars and blogress.

As I established some months ago, there is still plenty of intense hatred of homos in this country. This hatred is not uniformly distributed, however. So, in many places being gay is no big deal, but in others it sure is. As usual, I base such conclusions on national data correctly gathered.

Further, coming out to parents is often the last thing one does. The sociobiological reason, I presume, is that a gay child takes the same resources as a straight child but wrecks the parent’s inclusive fitness. Coming out to parents is thus often delayed.

Now as I’ve mentioned perhaps five times here, there is a difference between sexual orientation and sex acts. The former is totally public in the sense that straight people do not believe their being straight is to be kept secret. We only hear about privacy when it comes to being gay. In contrast, one’s sex acts are properly thought private. So, when you tell a mixed sex couple to get a room, you are not annoyed that they are public about their sexual orientation but that they are being public about their sex acts.

Is coming out narcissistic? HOW does THIS work? Refusing to accept a presumption of heterosexuality that does not apply to oneself is … narcissistic? C’mon.

So of course some degree of courage has been shown. What has NOT been shown is any heroism. There is no justification for the Ferengi or the First Klingon to making this a Big Thing. Frankly, I find it more than a little annoying.

Given that the IQ of the regulars and the blogress is waaay high, it’s always a bummer to have to repeat myself. I always think I’ve been clear, and I am not out-argued, but somehow most seem unwilling to learn.

skzion on February 13, 2014 at 9:36 pm

    SKZ, although A1 can obviously speak for himself, I don’t think I’ve indicated that “coming out” is narcissistic per se. Rather, it’s the manner that Michael Sam did so that reeks of narcissism. If he just wanted to “come out,” he could have just had a family discussion about his decisions in life, and then he could have gone out in public with his “boyfriend,” as it were. And if the press were to follow-up with inquiries, he could simply say that his personal life is nobody’s business. To my knowledge, for example, this was pretty much how Elton John handled the matter.

    But Michael Sam wasn’t just “coming out.” He also used a public platform to attempt to punish his father–revealing that he has a lot of unresolved psychological issues, demonstrating not only narcissism, but “infantile megalomania” as well.

    Ralph Adamo on February 13, 2014 at 10:21 pm

      Ralph, you say

      “I don’t think I’ve indicated that “coming out” is narcissistic per se. Rather, it’s the manner that Michael Sam did so that reeks of narcissism.”

      But in your original comment you wrote the following:

      “‘narcissism’ is one of the personality characteristics that are common [sic] homosexuals. According to Bergler, however, the underlying drivers are ‘infantile megalomania’ or ‘infantile omnipotence.’

      Of course, modern psychologist largely discount Bergler’s work on the subject–just as they consider Freudian based treatments–”outmoded,” . . . . And so while modern psychiatrists and psychologists attempt to debunk the work of Freud and Bergler, they provide no scientific evidence supporting their own politically correct notions.”

      So, you mentioned narcissism as a defining characteristic of “the homosexual personality” in the context of an article about coming out. Now you deny “indicating” that coming out is . . . narcissistic? C’mon.

      As for Bergler, I don’t know him from Bungler. But I do know something about Freud (although it’s been decades since I’ve read his main works). For what it’s worth–and I do think it’s worth something, as I greatly admire Freud’s work–Freud never counted homosexuality as a “neurosis” (what we would call a disease), let alone a narcissistic neurosis. Freud argued that a neurosis required a psychic conflict between the adaptive demands of living and behaviors deriving from a chunk of libido attached to some earlier person and event (a.k.a. a “cathexis”). If that earlier person was someone else, the neurosis was “obsessional”; if the person was oneself, the neurosis was “narcissistic.” Narcissistic neuroses–e.g., autism–were much more serious and were also basically untreatable. Homosexuality was not a neurosis but a “perversion,” something different and undesirable but not intrinsically maladaptive.

      In fact, then, a modern understanding of homosexuality has more in keeping with Freud’s work than with the work of Bungler and the alleged “Freudians” of the post WW2 era.

      skzion on February 16, 2014 at 11:49 am

Forget about Michael Sam. He’s a good football player and hopefully, this is the worst thing he ever does.

What about the news media! How is it that they make this a big story? It’s not important. It has no effect on me or my life. It’s not “news you can use”.

This simply is not “news”.

I’m tired of manufactured news.

Sincerely,

There is NO Santa Claus (aka TINSC)

There is NO Santa Claus on February 13, 2014 at 10:55 pm

I don’t get it. How did a troll manage to log on as me and flame skzion? Debbie? How does someone get to use the EXACT same handle as another member? Good thing I’m up and watching out. I’d like an answer from Debbie as soon as possible, either here or on e-mail. And NO, I’m not covering for myself, the person who flamed skzion at 10:45 Eastern Time, was NOT the REAL Alfredo from Puerto Rico.

If I don’t get a satisfactory answer, I will want my account deleted and leave for good this time. This should NOT be able to happen.

Alfredo from Puerto Rico on February 13, 2014 at 10:55 pm

    Alfredo, give Debbie a little time. I don’t think she is able to monitor the blog 24/7, and as you know there are many hostile people who are not regular contributors who try to stir up trouble whenever they can (Muslims, some Poles, some liberals, etc., etc.). I am sure that when she becomes aware of it the comment will be taken off.

    In the past, some trolls have posted comments on the Sabbath, knowing that Debbie cannot look at the blog until sundown Saturday evening. I don’t think that it is coincidence that this comment was posted late in the evening. The poster probably is hoping that Debbie is asleep.

    I am sure that tomorrow this will be taken care of, and she will ban whoever made that comment. I’m sure you know that some of these people change emails — they get banned and then send in a comment from a different email. This isn’t Fox News where there is a large staff monitoring comments 24/7.

    I agree that this comment was disgraceful, but give Debbie a chance.

    Little Al on February 13, 2014 at 11:18 pm

      Yes, Little Al, I know all about what a busy lady she is, etc., everything you mentioned. But anyone trying to sign on with my EXACT handle should have been rejected. Either someone is hacking my computer from cyberspace, or this web site has been hacked, or there is an internet administrator in the cloud who has decided to have some fun.

      Just because in the interest of peace I have decided not to speak to skzion, I do NOT do the sort of things this troll has done. I have, and have had, many gay friends, as I’ve stated a bunch of times on this web site. I love my gay friends as much as my straight friends, and there is no way, unless it was done with blank characters and half spaces, as I stated in my other post, that this should have been able to happen.

      This means that someone could log on as you, Mr. Grant, Mr. Adamo, BigD, etc., and start some serious flame wars. It could wreck the whole web site. I’ve seen it happen, as I was a part of it 12-13 years ago, don’t want to say the name of the web site.

      Alfredo from Puerto Rico on February 13, 2014 at 11:28 pm

    Alfredo, you and I have an ISSUE. However, I certainly don’t think you wrote that comment.

    I have a gravitar that identifies me as … me. This is necessary because of the troll contingent. Google “gravatar” and learn how to associate your email with an image.

    Any comment from “me” someone without my image is not from me.

    skzion on February 13, 2014 at 11:29 pm

      Thanks for the gravatar info, SKZ. I have tried to upload one so we’ll see if it works here.

      Meira on February 14, 2014 at 5:47 am

Many years ago, on another web site, there were people who figured out how, using I think half spaces and blanked out characters, to appear as certain other posters, and start flame wars. I have an e-mail in to Debbie, and am awaiting her reply.

Alfredo from Puerto Rico on February 13, 2014 at 11:17 pm

    Alfredo, please see my 11:18 comment. I’m sure you know from your experience here that there are any number of people who try to stir up trouble and dissension among the regular contributors. I’m sure Debbie will try to answer as soon as she can.

    Little Al on February 13, 2014 at 11:21 pm

I remember in the past Debbie would write posts about various things, and an enemy of the blog would make some kind of personal attack either against her or one of the regulars and try to divert the discussion away from substantive issues and into personal acrimony. Things like this have happened to other posters as well, and I am sure when Debbie gets back to you she will explain the mechanics of how this could have happened. Remember that it is close to midnight now. None of us know her schedule for tomorrow.

For all we know she will be in court & is needing a good night’s sleep, but unfortunately things like this have happened before. Someone obviously noticed you had left for a while, and is trying to create tension on this issue where emotions are high.

Little Al on February 13, 2014 at 11:27 pm

    I know how flame wars go, Little Al, and I appreciate you stepping in. You obviously believe me, and I appreciate that very much. See my reply to your 11:18 p.m. comments.

    Again, I appreciate the backup, because the person that insulted skzion was NOT the REAL Alfredo from Puerto Rico.

    Thanks for sticking up for me. I don’t have anything against skzion at all. I’m a man of peace.

    Alfredo from Puerto Rico on February 13, 2014 at 11:39 pm

      Alfredo, rather than your period bouts of proselytizing–which will create a situation ripe for exploitation by those who wish Debbie ill–why can’t you just affix a cross or an “XP” to your handle? If you want to establish “who you are,” this does so very clearly. It would be no different from wearing a cross. Torah does not prohibit Jews befriending those of other religions. Presto! The conflict between us is ended with this compromise.

      skzion on February 16, 2014 at 11:58 am

And obviously I did not make the 11:25 comment.

Little Al on February 13, 2014 at 11:28 pm

Nor did I make the 11:29 comment. Just assume that any more comments with my name this evening are being made by a troll.

Little Al on February 13, 2014 at 11:31 pm

On another note, I think that Michael Sam’s teammates would find out he’s gay the first time one of them dropped the soap in the shower!

In all seriousness, isn’t everyone tired about hearing about the sex or sexual identity or orientation or whatever about every celebrity in America? I have gay friends, male and female, but they do not make a big deal about it, just as heterosexuals should not be making a big deal IN PUBLIC about their sex lives.

I find it ironic that people like Sandra the slut Fluke complained that her sex life was nobody’s business, yet was before television cameras and Congress, demanding free condoms and free birth control pills from her Catholic university.

People want privacy, but then publicize every aspect of their sexual life.

Am I the only one getting tired of this garbage?

Jonathan E. Grant on February 14, 2014 at 12:07 am

ROTFLMAO!!! When Sammy Davis, Jr. was alive and making movies, he was known as the quickest draw in Hollywood. I didn’t even finish my e-mail exchange with Debbie, and poof!, she took care of the trolls. Give that lady a .38, and move over Sammy, I think we have a new quick draw candidate!!!

Alfredo from Puerto Rico on February 14, 2014 at 9:06 am

    Alfredo, the same thing happened to me on Yahoo a while back. I REPEATEDLY reported and flagged it with Yahoo and they refused to do anything. Glad to see Debbie can get it under control so fast when a huge company like Yahoo can’t or won’t.

    John on February 14, 2014 at 9:40 am

LOL! I love that part about waiting for a WNBA player to come out as straight! This is just like that NBA player who came out as gay so that he could be the next victim when he didn’t get signed. Now the NFLPA is making noise about GMs who downgrade his draft rating because he came out. Maybe a so-so D-Lineman who draws attention to himself is not at the top of their list!

Sean M on February 14, 2014 at 10:25 am

@ Franz ” ha ha you’re getting what you voted for i guess”

1st. Implying that its the president’s fault for Facebooks gender nomenclature foolishness is foolish.

2nd. How do you know, who I voted for? You don’t. So Shut it!

Big D on February 14, 2014 at 1:16 pm

He’s so brave, courageous and bold, I’m thinkin’ ’bout namin’ my poodle after him.

Pray Hard on February 14, 2014 at 4:00 pm

If sexual activity were heroic or praiseworthy, strippers and prostitutes would be celebrated role models. All too often, as noted by Debbie, coming out as gay is simply a way for the mediocre to gain notoriety.

worry01 on February 14, 2014 at 4:02 pm

    worry and JEG:

    (1: worry) “If sexual activity were heroic or praiseworthy, strippers and prostitutes would be celebrated role models. All too often, as noted by Debbie, coming out as gay is simply a way for the mediocre to gain notoriety.”

    I’m beginning to think that coming out does sometimes have this objective, certainly in high-profile situations. That said, you are engaging in the same confused thinking that I have previously pointed out:

    “there is a difference between sexual orientation and sex acts. The former is totally public in the sense that straight people do not believe their being straight is to be kept secret. We only hear about privacy when it comes to being gay. In contrast, one’s sex acts are properly thought private. So, when you tell a mixed sex couple to get a room, you are not annoyed that they are public about their sexual orientation but that they are being public about their sex acts.”

    In other words, you identify the issue as sexual activity, when the issue is in fact sexual orientation. That is why a hooker’s life is hardly praiseworthy but coming out generally is. Only someone who is buying porn wants to know the details of someone else’s sexual activity.

    (2: JEG): “I find it ironic that people like Sandra the slut Fluke complained that her sex life was nobody’s business, yet was before television cameras and Congress, demanding free condoms and free birth control pills from her Catholic university.

    People want privacy, but then publicize every aspect of their sexual life.

    I certainly agree with your characterization of Fluke, but in applying that to the present case, you conflate details of sex acts (private) with sexual orientation (public). Again, I want to be very clear that while traditionally well mannered people hide the details of their sexual acts, they do not hide their sexual orientations–unless this orientation is gay. If reality were otherwise, one could not even have a school dance or a social “mixer.”

    NOW, if either you or worry can show where I have erred, I’m all ears. The issue isn’t “offense” or anything else PC. I think your choice of categories has led you astray (and I say the same for Debbie, btw, but as she is the blogress, I omit her from the present discussion).

    skzion on February 16, 2014 at 12:19 pm

      I totally agree with you, SKZ. If you remember on that other forum we used to frequent, that Debbie doesn’t want mentioned, I said much the same thing when the regulars were giving you grief over the issue of orientation and whether it was inherent or a choice. I came out on the side of inherent but also said that behaviors are choices and we don’t have to engage in certain ones that are considered inappropriate even if that’s a hard choice. It is none of my business what goes on in your bedroom just as it is none of yours what goes on in mine. The presence of a male partner in my case is proof of nothing.

      Meira on February 17, 2014 at 9:16 am

Many many years ago I traveled in the Soviet union as a youngish single man . Because I was single ,I was asked by a particularly comely young woman if I was homosexual, because I had traveled from Australia. At that time the politically correct term in Australia was Poof or poofter. Slang terms were ass bandit or catholic priest,neither of which was considered to be in good taste, much like another mans penis in ones mouth I suspect.And being a poof in Russia in those days was punishable by death.
Vlad Putin put it succinctly recently..” we welcome gays to Sochi,but do not interfere with our Children..” quite right tavarish.
The homosexual lobby is very strong in Australia but only our present PM has the strength to deny them the right to “marry”.
He is said by the pundits to homophobic, well if he is, good on him and let Tony abbott be an example of real moral values begin with.
This Football player is simply playing another game, that of the underdog . It is obvious that it is his managers hope that this will make money from a mediocre product.

Aron B on February 14, 2014 at 5:02 pm

    Oh shut up, Aron Boring (not that you ever read responses to your offal, as you are a troll).

    skzion on February 15, 2014 at 11:25 pm

“his first Ms. Thang”- perfect, and right on! Calling the first lady Ms. Thang is just the right thing to do. She is not harmless, she’s a hypocritical Marxist elitist communist just like he is. She should not be off limits.

Cassandra on February 15, 2014 at 1:24 pm

This is the best article on the subject that I have seen. Great work Debbie!

PDMac60 on February 18, 2014 at 11:41 am

Let me start off by saying how ignorant and stupid you sound. All of your facts are inaccurate and whoever believes your opinions then they’re just as stupid as you are. Do us all a favor and stop writing. If you think your nonsense articles are going to get you famous, then good luck. On your twitter it says you’re a writer… if you claim to be a writer then ill claim to be a neurosurgeon who operates the human brain in space. You should replace that with “Diary writer” since all you of your posts are about your feelings and opinions towards Islam. You have no true facts. Making fun of muslims and stating false facts (opinions) is wrong. That just shows how low you will go to “prove your opinions on muslims.” Let me tell you something Debbie, you have more haters than fans. That means you’re doing something wrong.

Mary on February 22, 2014 at 2:43 am

Debbie — you sound crazier year by year! You really ought to seek help from a qualified professional. Your delusions and obsessions are bordering on psychotic.

Regis Quando on June 28, 2014 at 4:27 pm

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