July 11, 2014, - 7:37 pm
I know I’m not the only one who is sick and tired of the ridiculous LeBron James hype.
Today, when I was at the gym, I noted that FOX News, MSNBC’s Ronan Farrow Show, CNN, and Headline News started off with the most important news event facing America: NBA gazillionaire and proud high school gradoooit (at least I think he grajitated) LeBron James decided to return “home” to the Cleveland Cavaliers. Predictably, ESPN was also giving the story the full press with several analysts (one of whom looks exactly like actor Jonah Hill) “analyzing” this very simple and highly unimportant story.
But it reminded me that, despite those on the right who insist otherwise, FOX News a/k/a PAWNN (the Prince Al-Waleed News Network) and the other three more liberal cable news networks are more alike than not and united in their liberal agendas to lend importance to this figment of hip hop NBA culture. They are all far more interested in pop culture than anything and FOX News–just like the others–is part of the problem. If you believe FOX News is different than the others, you are simply a lumpenconservatariat lesser-than who is easily suckered and sated by the faux-conservative bread-and-circuses act Rupert Murdoch’s and Prince Al-Waleed’s minions have served up for you while they laugh very hard at you all the way to the bank.
I really couldn’t care less for which billionaire NBA owner multi-millionaire LeBron has decided to work. I only care that in this world of gazillionaires, you–who are most likely not of this group–are paying for the office building and corporate welfare tax breaks. And that in a different bread-and-circuses arena, multi-millions of working stiff taxpayers seem to have no problem subsidizing this greed and overvalued “contribution” to a guy whose only contribution to the world is kids born out of wedlock.
James declared his decision in an “essay” in Sports Illustrated. Does anyone really believe this hyperbolically-hyped, overpaid refugee of America’s killing fields whose only skill is making baskets actually wrote the essay?
If ya do, I’ve got some land in East (or South) Cleveland to sell you. Or the same land in Riyadh that Prince Al-Waleed has already sold you. The words “essay” and “LeBron James” go together like the words “humility” and “Gwyneth Paltrow.” And, yet, my merely raising this question resulted in some schmuck on Twitter unfollowing me (follow me on Twitter).
Exit question: how many Dan Gilbert publicists does it take to ghost-write a LeBron James essay?
No punchline. The joke’s on you. But try the veal, anyway.
Tags: LeBron James