November 21, 2005, - 2:40 pm

Do NOT Imbibe This: Soda Multi-Culturalism Fails

By Debbie Schlussel
Stores around the country are pushing Jones Soda’s “Holiday Pack.” I tried it last week, and trust me, don’t buy it. Save your $10 plus (for five bottles).
I like exotic flavors of pop (that’s what we call “soda” here in Michigan), but this variety of “flavors” tastes terrible–every single flavor–even if it is 100% kosher and vegetarian.

jonessodaholiday.jpg

With flavors like “Turkey & Gravy,” “Brussels Sprouts,” and “Wild Herb Stuffing,” I don’t know how I thought it could have tasted better. But these taste really, really bad. Imagine Turkey gravy mixed with water and sugar. Horrid. Even the “Pumpkin Pie” and “Cranberry Sauce” flavors were terrible (and had a very bad, very strong aftertaste).
I give Jones an “A” for creativity and exoticism, but an “F” for the final product.
Yet another example that 100% vegetarian, zero carb, zero calorie, zero caffeine, and zero sugar, usually means zero fun. It’s sort of an example how multi-culturalism doesn’t work. You try to please every taste, every group, you get a horrible result.

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8 Responses

They’ve been doing this for the past few years. Clearly it’s just a novelty item, though. Did you honestly believe that Turkey & Gravy pop could actually taste good?
Some of their real pops are pretty decent although a bit pricey.
Also, what does this have to do with multiculturalism? Isn’t this only aimed at people who celebrate the American Thanksgiving (I’m not sure what they eat for Canadian Thanksgiving)?

Clompo on November 21, 2005 at 3:48 pm

Clompo:
Your comments are always so negative and dismissive. If you bothered to read the end of the post, you’d know what I meant by “multi-culturalism” and trying to please everyone. Your problem with premature articulation appears worse than I had earlier diagnosed.
Debbie Schlussel

Debbie Schlussel on November 21, 2005 at 6:47 pm

Clompo: believe it or not, we Canadians eat pretty much the same things as you Yanquis for our Thanksgiving, although the Quebecois may have their regional variations (hint: they really don’t eat frogs’ legs. That, I know.)
Debbie: you’re a much braver person than I thought. Did you know what you were getting into when you bought that pack? Would offering said pack to a liberal celebrant constitute aggravated assault?
Just wondering…
Yankee Two Delta

Y-2-DRAY on November 21, 2005 at 9:28 pm

Not to brag-I’ve made my share of mistakes-but dis
shit scares me.Every time I clock it at the store with its interior decorator ‘Jones’ label,I always flash to restaurants who get rehabbed-after which the food sucks.

jaywilton on November 22, 2005 at 10:53 am

Doesn’t matter have you dress it up, a drink called “Turkey & Gravy” doesn’t sounds good to me.

Frellu on November 22, 2005 at 11:28 am

I know what you mean by multiculturalism and I agree that it usually means “no fun”, but it doesn’t apply to this product. That’s all I was saying. Don’t get so defensive about it.
Unless you’re saying that because it is vegeterian. But could you imagine a non-vegeterian pop? I guess they could add carbonation to a bottle of Zip sauce. Ugh…I can’t imagine how nasty that would be.
And that’s what I figured Y-2-DRAY. I just wasn’t completely sure.

Clompo on November 22, 2005 at 11:31 am

“Premature articulation”…..I’ll resist the cheap joke since it’s almost Thanksgiving.
Debbie, I thought you were making another joke about those flavors at first. The Jones brand aren’t well known in the Nashville, TN area, but some of their normal drinks were pretty good.
For someone who is falsely branded as always serious, Debbie has a great sense of humor.

Jeff_W on November 22, 2005 at 11:50 am

All I can say is EWWWW! I’m glad I’ve never seen these awful flavors.

hairymon on November 23, 2005 at 8:40 pm

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