June 4, 2015, - 4:48 pm

ISIS Comedy Gold: You Won’t Believe This Absurd ISIS Rule

By Debbie Schlussel

nopigeonsisisflag

ISIS & Rappers “Sporty Thievz” Agree: No Pigeons Allowed

We don’t need real comedy because in between the beheadings and other brutal murders ISIS gives it to us in ways soooooo typical of the Islamic world. Party like it’s 1399 . . . oh, and thou shalt not see flying pigeons. You see ISIS says Islam forbids looking in the sky lest Muslims see pigeon genitals, which is haram (forbidden). You may remember that ISIS murdered pigeon breeders in Diyala, Iraq, back in January. Well, now, the Islamic terrorists are doing it again, and here’s why:







Senior clerics fighting for the Islamic State in Syria and Iraq have issued a diktat banning pigeon breeding as they claim the sight of the birds’ genitals as they fly overhead is offensive to Islam. Jihadis operating in the group’s ‘Euphrates province’, which stretches from Anbar in Iraq to Dier ez Zour in Syria, told pigeon breeders they had one week to stop the practice or face public flogging.

The announcement isn’t the first time ISIS has targeted the apparently blasphemous practice of pigeon breeding – a popular pastime in the Middle East. . . . ISIS’ latest ban on pigeon breeding was revealed in an official document released by senior administrators in the group’s self-declared Euphrates province. Written in Arabic script on paper headed with the terror group’s chilling black and white logo, the short document begins with a warning to locals who keep pigeons on the roof of their houses.

Just a preview of life under sharia here in America, when Muslims reach critical mass and eventually take over.

I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again: when they call this a clash of civilizations, the premise is faulty. Because that assumes theirs is a civilization. Daily–no, hourly–we get more and more evidence that it most certainly is not.

By the way, no word on what the Islamic position is on possibly seeing eagle genitals in the sky. Or those of ducks or crows.

BTW, where’s PETA (or as I call them, PUTAh–People for the Unethical Treatment of Animals and humans) when you need them?

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14 Responses

At the risk of offending our “cultural equals”, they really don’t want us to have any fun at all, do they?

Dan on June 4, 2015 at 5:03 pm

Debbie, you beat me to it – I too was wondering why are pigeons singled out here. Not just that – what’s the Islamic view on seeing the genitals of land animals – like those that may have lost their tails due to some reason?

Although I must confess that I don’t like birds, due to all the bird poop that randomly ends up on my car. Hate to be on the ISIS side in this particular one.

Infidel on June 4, 2015 at 6:37 pm

This just completely crashes my idea of a naked hang gliding school in Ramadi.

recalcitrant Zionist on June 4, 2015 at 6:47 pm

Sharia police need to keep themselves busy somehow.
They have their own make work jobs for jihadis plan.
You’d think they’d be putting pants on goats or something like first though.

Mochizuki Koga on June 4, 2015 at 6:56 pm

Debbie,

Thanks for the heads up. I’ll wait for the two hour special on Animal Planet.

Exit question: Which Pigeons have bigger Genitals, ours or theirs?

Ours of course!

Forgive me, but I could not resist.

Peter on June 4, 2015 at 7:02 pm

Filthy muslims love rap.

DS_ROCKS! on June 4, 2015 at 7:15 pm

All religions have silly rules. Judaism is certainly not exempt.

GeorgeX on June 4, 2015 at 7:35 pm

My neighbor’s Chihuahua, I swear, is hung like a Clydesdale. I wonder what ISIS would say about poor little ‘Julio’? ~make him tighty-whities??
This is a mental illness we have here. Not a religion.

#1 Vato on June 4, 2015 at 9:30 pm

This is especially rich since BIRD genitals are INSIDE their bodies! That’s why a doctor can only “sex” a bird unless they are a breed whose colouration gives them away. DUH! Doy!!!!

Islam MUST. GO! NOW!!!

Oh yeah, just wanna also point out how I have always said Boston (Massachusetts) is loaded w/jihadis. Not that most Bostonians care! I sure do, but no one else does. This place is teeming W/Mooooooslim freaks!

In true form, Bostonians are relying on “moderate” Moooooslims to prove Islam is a ROP. That’s why this place is replete w/the vermin!

“Imagine a world without ISLAM!!”

Skunky on June 4, 2015 at 10:17 pm

Although I don’t recall seeing anything poking out from the pigeons in al Anbar, I’ll be averting my eyes, fer sure. Skunky, please let me know which plummage to avoid. I wouldn’t want to gaze.

nadie on June 5, 2015 at 1:12 am

So, Muslims are getting aroused by bird genitals? That is so lovely.

Worry on June 5, 2015 at 10:14 am

This story would be hilarious if ISIS wasn’t so destructive and our government’s strategy in fighting them was so wussified. It is still funny because I guess that these barbaric nitwits haven’t figured out that as Skunky pointed out that bird genitalia is on the inside of their bodies. What wack jobs. My grandmother who is in her 90s and is still as sharp as a tack did remark a while back when these freaks committed their first beheading and posted it online that they’ve finally flown the coop. It seems that she was spot on. Debbie it does make one wonder the ISIS morons would find a much larger bird like the turkey vultures that I saw eating a deer carcass the other day more offensive. Probably not as one of those birds would kick the crap out of one of them. They look mean enough…LOL!

Ken B on June 5, 2015 at 11:49 am

More expected stupidity.

Have you looked over ths year’s contenders for the Saudi Camel Beauty Contest and sussed them out for the odds of winning yet, Deb?

Occam's Tool on June 5, 2015 at 7:30 pm

So what’s next? Breeding pigeons in the same COUNTY as a mosque and they come for your birds? Parts of Ford Road in Dearborn, for example, could use THOUSANDS of pigeons. What a better way is there to say, Welcome to the neighborhood!

quiller on June 6, 2015 at 11:41 am

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