August 5, 2015, - 5:09 pm

Where I’ve Been: An Idiotic Texter Hit Me @ 70 MPH & Other Stuff

By Debbie Schlussel

young woman driving on highway while reading / writing text on smart phone.

If You Text & Drive, You’re a Bleeping Moron!

Yes, I’ve been offline for nearly three weeks, the longest I’ve ever been away, and I hope to never do that again. But I had a good reason: I was in a very serious car accident, and, while I’m okay, I’m lucky to be here and alive. I was at a light that just turned green during rush hour, going barely 10 miles per hour. The idiotic woman behind me hit me at 65 to 70 miles per hour according to the police. She admitted she was not paying attention to the road at all, and we believe she was texting. I’ve been in car accidents in my life, but never ever been hit that hard. Slammed. It really shook me up, and I’m still a little bit in shock over it.

I’m a tough chick and usually fearless, but this really hit me hard. I’ll get over it, and I’m getting over it. I’m okay, but I did have debilitating headaches from it (gone for now) and felt panicked from time to time. So that’s why I’ve been offline until now. I also have had to take increased security steps and be hyper-aware because of threats to my safety and security from the religion of peace. And it all comes at the same time. I have a lot going on professionally, and I’m back to do it, including soon-to-be-announced projects that are in the works that I am excited to tell you about in the near future. I also have a set of ongoing exclusive stories I’m going to break here, but I’ll wait for those until after InTrumpsanity-fest (tomorrow night’s GOP debate) is over. Stay tuned for those. I’ve also been working on some very intriguing international “cases of mystery” that I can’t talk about here, but I hope that someday (sooner rather than later) I will be able to. Stay tune for that, too . . . if I can. And, last, and probably least, I was once again under consideration by ABC for “The View.” More to come on that.

And now for those idiots–many of them millennials and, I believe, most of them women–who text. This woman who hit me appeared to be a millennial, though I can’t say for sure because she was overweight and that ages people. She had a handicapped sticker and license plate on her car, though the only disabilities she appeared to have was the inability to care about others’ lives and to stop eating and join a gym.

I’ve always believed that texting while driving is a lot worse than drunk driving. At least drunk drivers are watching the road a little. Texters aren’t. At least drunk drivers have the excuse that their minds are impaired from proper judgment because they’ve imbibed alcohol. Texters choose to do this deliberately because it’s far more important to text, “OMG, did you see how fugly Ashley looked in that dress? LOL!” than to pay attention to the road and spare others’ lives and limbs. Me, me, me, me, me. Your inane, waste-of-time, stream-of-consciousness BS utterings are more important than everyone else’s safety. Bleep you. Do us a favor and stay home watching the Kardashians.

This woman laughed about what she did and didn’t seem to think it was any big deal what she’d done. My car is almost undriveable, and the entire back of it is bashed and scrunched in. It took everything I had to keep from crashing into the car in front of me–I stopped literally a couple of inches away, if that. My air bags didn’t go off, either. And it panics me because I’ve read stats that a large percentage of millennials and others are texting while driving–people operating two-ton machinery and not caring enough to watch what is going on. Complete dumbasses. A few weeks ago, it was me. Today or tomorrow, it could be you.

I do, however, believe this was a message from G-d–maybe that I’m working too hard, that I am missing the important things in life. I’m sure that is part of it, and I’m cognizant of that. I got hit because I took a detour from my usual route home from court after I had to file something in a child support case (I’m representing the dad–I generally only represent men in these kinds of cases). The main road was not moving for a half hour, so I took a detour through the inner city ghetto of Pontiac, Michigan. When I was nearly home, that’s when I got slammed and smacked into. I realized as I was healing from this accident that in all of my hard work on this site, and as a lawyer and movie critic, I missed things, including the tenth anniversary of this site, which recently happened. But there really isn’t a cure for that. I’m very happy–I like what I do and wouldn’t change. But I am always busy, usually too busy. Again, there isn’t a cure for that, though. But this accident made me stop and think. I was forced to stop at least for a little bit. Until now.

So, that’s where I’ve been. But I’m okay. Like, I said, I’m a tough person–very resilient, and I’m back. I’ll be putting up all of the movie reviews I missed, over the next few days, and my usual commentary. And, very soon, I’ll be posting my exclusives on some very disturbing things the world should know about. Stay tuned.

Thanks to everyone who inquired about my welfare. There were so many e-mails, it’s heart-warming, and I’m lucky and grateful that you care. Thanks for staying with me. Since I was offline, I mostly didn’t check e-mail, and so I’m still catching up. And to those few bleeped up individuals who actually sent me hate-mail for not posting anything, really???!

To those who wrote that they hoped I was dead, happy to disappoint you. I’m here. I’m back. And you know where to go.


Related Posts with Thumbnails
Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Tags: ,

118 Responses

Glad you are back and OK! People are idiots. I was rear-ended by a tractor doing about 60. I was stopped in a line of traffic. And this was in 1993, before texting. People really need to pay 100% attention on the roads.

PAGirl on August 6, 2015 at 11:43 am

Glad you are OK

btw, it would be very EASY for the phone manufacturer to disable texting while driving, most cell phones have GPS and accelerometers, if the phone is moving, disable the screen/keyboard.
simpe fix and should be done.

Rick on August 6, 2015 at 11:49 am

    That doesn’t make much sense. So if you are riding in the backseat of a car, you can’t check your email? Or if you’re a passanger on a train?

    ibn Abu on August 10, 2015 at 11:15 am

I am happy to hear that you are doing so well considering the senseless accident you endured. I have been missing your “voice”.

I myself avoid driving in Pontiac like the plague. I once was hit there by a truck while I was turning right and a truck on my left also turned right. The cop gave ME the ticket, I think because he didn’t want the truck driver to lose his job. Not just that, but I always get lost there. The city is set up in a weird way.

Jacalyn Simon on August 6, 2015 at 11:56 am

While being worried about your well-being for the last weeks, I always kept faith that you were still drawing breath…

I guess I’m not really surprised to learn from you now, based upon your description of the driver that hit your car, that apparently attempting to intervene in your review of ‘Trainwreck’, it seems that the chunky star herself was the pilot… especially after your description of the ‘laughter’ that can only be a “comedienne’s” calling card…

Maybe you can ask Chuckie Schumer to have a talk with his cousin?

Nick Fury on August 6, 2015 at 12:38 pm

Glad you are OK Deb!

Dave on August 6, 2015 at 1:02 pm

Glad you are OK Debbie !!
Listen to those saying to get your neck checked. I know several people who seemed fine after being rear ended but started having health problems later and come to find out had hurt their necks in the wreck.
Also, I know that you don’t share your personal life details here for obvious reasons but I hope that you take time from work to spend time with loved ones. I used to be a workaholic in my 20s and 30s and ended up in my mid 40s with a divorce and my kids living 500 miles away and discovering that I didn’t have that many friends or life outside of work. I’ve been changing all of that the past few years but remember that life goes quickly and while your work is important living and enjoying your life is even more important.

JimmyPx on August 6, 2015 at 1:25 pm

    JimmyPx is right! In my case, the horrible neck pain wasn’t until a couple years after my accident and by then it was awful. At the minimum, an xray and exam by a spine specialist (MD) would be a good idea. Chiropractic and/or massage for muscle spasms now would be good too!

    MomInMinnesota on August 6, 2015 at 3:06 pm

So sorry to hear of the accident. Glad you are doing better.

Dorothy on August 6, 2015 at 1:34 pm

I am very glad that you are back, and hopefully a complete recovery, including being totally over the shock, will be swift in coming.

However you mentioned:

“I do, however, believe this was a message from G-d–maybe that I’m working too hard, that I am missing the important things in life. I’m sure that is part of it, and I’m cognizant of that.”

So what are you going to do about THAT?

I_AM_ME on August 6, 2015 at 1:36 pm

I wondered what was going on. Prayers for you will be lifted up…

EWSTX on August 6, 2015 at 2:09 pm

whew… glad you’re ok schlussel… my guess was that your site was hacked and you were having probs getting it back up.

you probably do work too hard. take more time off, it’s good for you.

kirche on August 6, 2015 at 2:14 pm

Welcome back and good you’re OK.I thought maybe you dropped us from your list. Get well and look forward to more insights and anti-terror news blasts !!

Johnnyangel10 on August 6, 2015 at 2:35 pm

Glad you are ok, I agree on all accounts. My own insolent son almost killed most of the family around 2008 while texting and rolling through a T junction. His mom, a stupid cow thats done a good job making us distant, warned me not to give him grief for his texting and driving. Before it became the wide spread issue it is now. I yelled, watching a full sized truck bearing down on us going about 60 as he rolled the stop sign. He got mad, and went to a movie with his inbred girlfriend who had almost killed him with the .45 they shot by pointing it at him out of stupidity while we were shooting on her property in the sticks. At least you lived and did some reflecting. After I got injured a while back, I had time to think about all the vacations I missed working for extra money and paying everyone elses bills. Now I won’t be seeing the places I always wanted to see. I too see many people on their phones, true dangers to innocent lives.

samurai30047 on August 6, 2015 at 3:05 pm

    Are you familiar with the expression “Washing your dirty linen in public?” Like incest, certain things should be kept within the family.

    Miranda Rose Smith on August 7, 2015 at 2:28 am

Glad you are back and not too badly injured.

PHenry on August 6, 2015 at 3:10 pm

Glad you’re back and recovering. Sounds like you have a mild case (if there is such a thing) of PTSD in addition to the physical aches and pains. Therefore, stop and smell the roses as best you can with your many activities. We will all be here when you FULLY recover and get up to speed. I missed your writings.

unholyone on August 6, 2015 at 3:27 pm

Wish you a speedy, complete recovery! We need you & your straight talk …

Paulino Santos on August 6, 2015 at 3:42 pm

Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

Akiva Shapero on August 6, 2015 at 5:03 pm

Refuah Shlema Debbie!
Wishing you complete healing.
We all missed you.
Paula Malka

PaulaMalka on August 6, 2015 at 5:03 pm

Get better soon.

Welcome back Tiger.

Panhandle on August 6, 2015 at 5:51 pm

Refua Shelaima!Glad to hear your are recuperating. Not the same with out you.

Brooklyn Fan on August 6, 2015 at 5:54 pm

Thank God you’re back Debbie. I was worried and prayed for your well being. You are one tough woman, it made me sick reading your story and what happened to you. We could have lost you. I hope you have no long term side effects from this terrible accident. Always look forward to reading the truth on your website. Keep up the good fight. Always sending good thoughts, and wishes your way.

Gregory Rupcic on August 6, 2015 at 6:28 pm

Glad to have you back. I was finally forced to do a search and was really happy to find that I can listen to your movie reviews online. Hope everything is back to normal for you soon.

Daniel Middleman on August 6, 2015 at 6:37 pm

Just wanted to add my best wishes and hope for your continued recovery. I read through all the replies and it was good to see most all of the regular posters, esp Skunky and Alfredo who are always good for a laugh. Alfredo thought you were out on Secret Agent duty… I nearly spewed at that comment but now we’re all glad you’re back and eagerly await your next posts.
I especially like the movie reviews…saves me the money and trouble of sitting through something that will just p~~s me off 🙂

Vuulfie on August 6, 2015 at 6:53 pm

Debbie congratulations on your ten year anniversary.

Gregory Rupcic

Gregory Rupcic on August 6, 2015 at 6:54 pm

“Alfredo thought you were out on Secret Agent duty… I nearly spewed at that comment
Vuulfie on August 6, 2015 at 6:53 pm”

Actually that’s not as far fetched as you might think. Debbie did go undercover at least once.
Debbie, good to finally hear from you. Hope all goes well.
…and yes, congratulations on the TEN Years.

theShadow on August 6, 2015 at 7:14 pm


Welcome back! There were concerns about you being away so long.

Take care.

Peter on August 6, 2015 at 7:46 pm

Refuah Shlema Debbie. Good to have you back. I share the sentiments of others who care-take time for yourself whether it be spending time with friends and doing a little deep breathing every day for a couple of minutes. This is unbelievably relaxing!

Be well..

Canadian girl on August 6, 2015 at 9:59 pm


If you haven’t already, make sure your doctor has X-rays taken.
I was in an accident in May, T-boned by a senior driver who got confused and tried to make a left turn across 4 lanes of oncoming traffic. There were airbags deployed, there was some blood, there were 4 lanes of traffic closed down for an hour and me and my buddy got shaken up good. I got checked out and my doctor put his hand on my back because I reported muscle spasms. It wasn’t until about a month later that I thought I might have bronchitis that he called for an X-ray and guess what?! Compression fracture of T7. Make them X-ray your back and neck. If you’re a tough chick you may be ignoring some pain, I know I was.

Richard on August 6, 2015 at 10:28 pm

Welcome back Debbie. It had become a serious concern. Good to have you back.

Phil Lipofsky on August 7, 2015 at 12:40 am

Glad you are safe’ glad you are still with us. I too had a car accident. You are not alone

Charybdis on August 7, 2015 at 12:54 am

Texters choose to do this deliberately because it’s far more important to text, “OMG, did you see how fugly Ashley looked in that dress? LOL!” than to pay attention to the road and spare others’ lives and limbs. Me, me, me, me, me. Your inane, waste-of-time, stream-of-consciousness BS utterings are more important than everyone else’s safety. Bleep you. Do us a favor and stay home watching the Kardashians.

Even if the kind of people who text while driving don’t care who they hit, or even care about their own lives or cars, I ask anyone who texts while driving to stop and think. Even if you don’t care if you hit somebody, if you send a text to the wrong party, your wife will hit you.

Miranda Rose Smith on August 7, 2015 at 2:31 am

Thank G-d you’re back, Debbie. Take these people’s advice about X-rays. Shabbat Shalom.

Miranda Rose Smith on August 7, 2015 at 2:33 am

You have no idea of the hatred I have for texting drivers even before I read thi . Glad you’re ok, doll!

Charles Telerant on August 7, 2015 at 4:03 am

dear Debbie, you should seriously consider buying a Hummer. Codrial rgds.JJ

Jerry on August 7, 2015 at 4:37 am

Hi Dear Debbie!Thank God you are ok, Car accident are terrible!You were and are in our Prayers!God Bless you Debbie!Please take good care of your health Very Sincerlly TG.

Tirdad Gharib on August 7, 2015 at 7:41 am

I’m glad to hear you are alright ,I enjoy your site very much but please The View ? really don’t go there I refuse to watch their liberal crap show

deborah alleman on August 7, 2015 at 10:53 am

Glad you are back. I was worried about you. Please be very careful as it is a dangerous world out there. Keep up your good work. I always enjoy reading your column and I am a big fan of yours.

Paul on August 7, 2015 at 11:56 am

Hi Debbie,

So sorry to hear about your accident. It sounds like it was horrific. The most important thing is you’re ok. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

We’re looking forward to your posts and movie reviews. We read your reviews every week and want you to know they’re spot on. Over the years, you’ve saved us a lot of time and money.

Be well

DWT on August 7, 2015 at 12:57 pm

Best wishes for a speedy recovery !

Missed you…

Dr G Friedman on August 7, 2015 at 1:40 pm

Glad you’re alright Deb! I just returned from vacation & saw the texters all over the roads, FREAKIN’ IDIOTS! I really felt like grabbing their phones from their talons & shoving them up their poopchutes. My spouse has been hit twice by those selfish, inconsiderate, brain donors. Welcome back & give em Hell!

MuzzCrusher on August 7, 2015 at 2:30 pm

Refuah sheleimah, Debbie! Bad summer for accidents all over…

dahozho on August 7, 2015 at 2:50 pm

Missed you! Good things will happen to you from now on…

Jaime on August 8, 2015 at 2:13 am

Debbie, glad to read that you are okay, and good to see you back!!! Yeah, despite texting while driving being against the law, too many people still do that.

My colleagues do, and last week, I forcibly took over the car & drove, so that they could text, or chat, or play candy crush or whatever. Also, I have nothing against these toys – I have >1 of each of these items – cellphones, tablets, laptops… However, I have more sense than to play w/ them while driving.

Hope you got that stupid chick’s insurance to get you a newer car, assuming that she’s not one of those uninsured illegals. Oh, and was she a muzzie?

Infidel on August 8, 2015 at 9:48 am

Good to have you back, Debbie.

Similar to PAGirl – 20 years ago, north of Buffalo, traffic stopped on I-190 being detoured off the highway – some 18 year old coming down the bridge, playing with his ghetto blaster in the rear seat because his car stereo had been stolen, rear-ended us doing 60+ MPH.

I had a mild concussion – my seat was forced back and my head put a crack in the picnic cooler in the back seat. My wife was OK. We were lucky.

It took about a week to get over the jumpiness when driving. It did make me more alert – checking the rear-view mirror when stopped at lights to make sure the person behind me was slowing down.

I’ve driven the Autobahn at 130 MPH and felt so much safer there than in North America because those drivers follow the rules and they pay attention.

Michael H on August 8, 2015 at 10:18 pm

Thank gd that you’re ok!

drbob1961 on August 8, 2015 at 11:26 pm

Sorry to hear about your accident. I thought you had a big case or something. Cell phones and cars really don’t mix well.

R. Taylor on August 9, 2015 at 1:29 am

Don’t you dare think of going anywhere Debbie, you are too valuable an asset to truth and reality.

Be well and enjoy a complete recovery, one day at a time.

A pox on the idiot who hit you if she was texting.

Barry on August 9, 2015 at 9:51 am

Glad to hear you’re doing better! Wondered, like many, I’m sure, where you had gotten to! Hoped it wasn’t what I, and others no doubt, had feared: that some RoP freakazoid had managed to get at you.
Take another couple of weeks off, I’d say! You deserve it. Every time I’m out driving and see some moron texting while driving, male or female (and there are more men doing this than you’d think), I try to shout at them, and do occasionally succeed: “Drive, a-hole! Get off the f’in phone, idiot!”
Great that you’re back, but try not to overdo it at first; easy to fall back if you press too hard (I know from personal experience, though I thank G-d that I’ve not yet been t-boned by a moron texting while “driving,” if you can call it that. Take it easy, girl! All the best.

jc15 on August 9, 2015 at 5:35 pm

I am very glad to read that your OK. Welcome back. We all missed you.

Ceaser on August 10, 2015 at 9:22 am

I’m glad you’re in good health and OK, BH. I live most of the time in Lansing. Texting and driving is endemic here. You can be on HWY 127 and all of the sudden the car in front of yours traveling at 75 will slow down to 60…. Very treacherous.

Doc Holiday on August 10, 2015 at 12:45 pm

Glad you’re O.K.! Welcome back, you were missed! I thought maybe you took a little vacation!

Richard Mullen on August 10, 2015 at 5:42 pm

Leave a Reply

* denotes required field