October 13, 2015, - 5:12 pm

“View” Hag Whoopi Goldberg Did What?!

By Debbie Schlussel

whoopigoldbergmuppets.jpg

Fugly Marxist Hag Who Should be Taking Advice, NOT Giving It

File this under: What NOT To Read. Or under, Things We Need Like a Bullet to the Head.

Maybe it should be called, “Failed Love Advice From a Jew-Hater.” That might sell more copies.

Whoopi Goldberg, longtime ABC’s “The View” hag, has written a book giving America something it definitely doesn’t need more of–or any of, from her: relationship advice. Goldberg–“The View’s” resident moon-landing denier/NASA space film narrator, 9/11 Muslim terrorist denier, Roman Polansky rape defender (“not rape rape”), Mel Gibson and Helen tHAMAS Jew-hatred defender, Israel-hater, unfunny comedienne (repetitive phrase), pseudo-lesbian, and hideous shoe wearer (see also, here)–has been married and divorced three times. She is also a 59-year-old great-grandmother, who became a great-grandma far earlier than that. Plus she had a relationship with a far-left White actor who hung out in black face (Ted Danson) and she defended that. And, now, you, too, can have a “successful” love life like that, courtesy of Caryn Elaine Johnson (Goldberg’s real name).

What’s Whoopi Goldberg’s view of relationships? “If someone says ‘You complete me,’ run!” says the star, who’s happily single. It’s also the title of her new book from Hachette, which sports the subtitle: “Whoopi’s Big Book of Relationships.” The plain-spoken funny lady isn’t afraid to tell the world what she thinks (her 2010 book Is It Just Me? Or Is It Nuts Out There?, enumerated several hundred pages’ worth of pet peeves). Her new self-help book offers anything but typical “how to get and keep a man” advice. . . .

She thinks single women should be able to have sex without being judged (“After a certain age you’re not going to get pregnant, go get laid!”). And she doesn’t understand people who are afraid to be alone. As for another go at romance? Is Goldberg – who writes that she’s busy just trying to figure out what her “evil” cat Oliver wants — open to it?

Oh, and she also recommends cheating and casual sex. Yeah, that’s the ticket to a good relationship. Uh-huh.

On casual sex: “There’s nothing wrong with a booty call, because sometimes you just want to hit it and run. Especially if it’s Jean-Paul Belmondo.” . . .

On extramarital sex: “Sometimes in a relationship, people can’t always get what they need, and if you have reputable people you can turn to in order to get what you need, I say go for it. It is a whole lot better than being frustrated and angry at the person you love.”

Frankly, a book by Goldberg–who is 59 and looks 79–on how she is the only Black woman in America to defy “Black don’t crack,” would be more interesting. Just sayin’.

As for her “relationship advice,” it’s best told to her mirror . . . or to the garbage can . . . or to the birds whose cages it wouldn’t be fit to line.

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11 Responses

She must think she really is her character Guinan from Star Trek.

John the infidel on October 13, 2015 at 5:16 pm

She is the nightmare that keeps on giving.

Worry on October 13, 2015 at 6:15 pm

Speaking of her stupid black faced former boyfriend Ted Danson. They had to go and ruin a promising show in CSI Cyber. But I digress. Taking relationship advice from 3 time marriage loser Whoopi Goldblurb is like taking this from the following:
Being truthful advice- Hillary Clinton
Being a man advice-Anderson Cooper
Wife fashion advice-Michelle Obama
Journalism advice-This list is just chock full of “great” people on this field that it was hard to choose. So it is-Sherpard Smith
Being a funny night show host-Stephen Colbert
Being faithful in your marriage-Ben Affleck
Being a yammering blowhard on TV-Bill OReilly(well actually that’s good advice from him…LOL)
Being frugal with toilet paper-Sheryl Crowe
Being courageous the the face of angry racists-Bernie Sanders
Being an upstanding politician- John Boehner
And my best for last. Being a great president- Barack Obama
Yep idiotic, racist, fugly morons like Goldberg make it too easy don’t they.

Ken B on October 13, 2015 at 7:13 pm

Is someone saying Whoopi isn’t Jewish ?

JayPee on October 13, 2015 at 9:31 pm

She’s so ICKY!!!!

There is NO Santa Claus on October 13, 2015 at 10:45 pm

This is one of the ugliest beasts on the planet. Ben Carson schooled this libtard moron last week.

MuzzCrusher on October 14, 2015 at 9:56 am

I think the folks that will buy this book and read it would not disagree with her advice. The book is giving advice to those targets that would buy her book. I wonder how many focus groups were held to decide what her advice would be.

Panhandle on October 14, 2015 at 1:17 pm

Can Whoopi be sent over to Syria? People in ISIS territory could use that advice

Infidel on October 14, 2015 at 11:52 pm

I do not watch View, they’re all EXTREME LEFT-WING LIBERALS!!

I STAND with Israel-Yisrael and our Judeo-Christian Nation United States of America!!

United We Stand with Israel-Yisrael and our Judeo-Christian Nation United States of America, DIVIDED WE FALL!!

Love Always and Shalom Everyone,

Kristi Ann

Kristi Ann on October 15, 2015 at 4:47 pm

ISIS hasn’t yet used a human catapult in all of their twisted executions. She’s about the right weight of roughly a 203mm artillery shell, Just sayin. Everyone has a purpose in life, (or in the case…:))

Recalcitrant Zionist on October 25, 2015 at 2:32 pm

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