May 6, 2016, - 5:08 pm

Weekend Box Office: Captain America: Civil War – A PC Mess, But Still Better Than The Rest

By Debbie Schlussel

captainamericacivilwar

The only new movie opening this weekend is “Captain America: Civil War.” Despite being a 2.5-hour-long mess which glorifies the United Nations, studios know this will dominate the box office take this weekend, and they didn’t want to compete.







I have a theory about bad directors: they’re almost always the ones who make movies that clock in at more than two hours. Movies that are WAY. TOO. LONG. And this is one of those movies, so count Anthony and Joe Russo on my list of bad filmmakers. Any director who thinks his lack of editing skills (despite a gaggle of editors on a multi-milion-dollar pic) and conceit qualifies as art is a guy who doesn’t deserve or get my respect. In this case, there are two of ’em.

And despite the many, many, many special effects, lots of action, and a smorgasboard of fights and feuds, the movie was kind of a bore. It’s overstuffed with far too many cast members, too, as pretty much every Marvel Comics superhero is in this. There’s a lot to keep track of. And I felt it was kind of a repeat of the DC Comics failed idea to have superheroes fight each other. We already saw it very recently in the long bore, “Batman v. Superman” (read my review). This time it’s Iron Man versus Captain America, and each of their Taylor-Swift-style “girl squads” of superheroes also taking up the fight.

The fight between superheroes is probably the only cool scene in the movie. It’s fun to watch the various superheroes try to take each other out with their various powers. Kind of like an endless “Rock Paper Scissors” game. And endless it is . . . because it goes on a little long. The most interesting players in the fight are Spiderman and Antman, who seem to be able to outwit the others.

So, why are they fighting? Well, there are actually two fight scenes. The first is over a United Nations treaty to force the superheroes to go under U.N. hegemony. I really hated this aspect of the movie. The United Nations is presented as some respect-worthy, morally-superior organization when in reality it is neither. We are told that something like 117 nations have voted for the treaty, so therefore, it must be good. What they don’t tell you is that most of these countries at the U.N are banana republics, Islamic extremists, and other assorted lowlife, backward, totalitarian dictatorships who hate America and the West and consistently support the most outrageous things at worst and the most idiotic policies at best.

Instead, in this movie, not only does the U.N have the moral high ground of sorts, but it is headed by a very decent, high-minded, moral leader who looks and sounds exactly like lowlife corruptocrat crook Kofi Annan and his equally crooked son, Kojo Annan. They took bribes and engaged in extortion, as well as helping direct funds to Saddam Hussein and Iran in violation of U.N. and other international embargoes in place at the time. (By the way, Nick Annan, who claims to be Kofi Annan’s nephew, was recently appointed Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) Special Agent in Charge of Georgie and the Carolinas, despite being responsible for an illegal undercover operation in which the main information was murdered by Mexican drug cartel operatives.)

Tony Stark/Iron Man supports the U.N. Treaty to take control of the superheroes. Captain America doesn’t. And so, the two of them and their superhero minions fight the big fight mentioned herein. But then, there is yet another fight between Iron Man and “Cap” (he is called “Cap” throughout the movie because you aren’t allowed to call anything good by the name “America” anymore–at least in the world according to Hollywood, and, apparently, Disney). And that other fight is so much inside baseball that you need a refresher or tutorial from the previous Captain America movies to figure out what is going on and what it’s about. You can still see this movie on its own, but there are a lot of references that will be confusing to you if you haven’t seen or can’t remember the previous “Cap” installments.

In any event, there is so much going on here, and barely anything villainous. The few villains are brief co-stars: a German criminal posing as a government psychiatrist and the “winter soldier,” Cap’s friend, Bucky. Their missions and roles in this movie are confusing. And this movie is so overstuffed and has so much going on, that I just didn’t care.

A few other things of note:

* This movie has a new Spiderman, played by Tom Holland. And his Aunt May is now played by Marisa Tomei, who keeps looking younger and younger, thanks to artificial means I’m sure. She is the best-looking Aunt May yet, as she looks 41, not her actual 51. Aunt May is supposed to be an old, naive, dowdy lady, or so I thought.

* My jaw dropped when a character says Captain America is “off the reservation.” It’s funny how both Hillary Clinton and Hollywood liberals can get away with using this politically-incorrect phrase that makes American Indians cringe, but if Donald Trump had said it, all hell would break loose.

* I could’ve done without Anthony Mackie as “The Falcon,” accusing someone of trying to frame him and describing the person as “getting all Mark Fuhrman on my ass.” Um, Mark Fuhrman, a detective and witness at the O.J. Simpson trial, never planted evidence or framed anyone. He didn’t plant Simpson’s blood on the gloves that were found at the scene, nor did he plant the gloves themselves, despite what race-card player Johnny Cochran implied at the trial. But, sadly, the moronic masses who see this movie will believe that with this latest reference claiming there was some sort of frame-up of O.J. Simpson. Did we really need this “Black Lives Matter” BS in the movie? Nope.

* At one point, Cap says that the superheroes who were not born in America are not U.S. citizens so they will be deported. Newsflash: we aren’t deporting anyone. And here’s another tip: the illegal aliens in this country are for the most part, neither super nor heroes. They are criminals and lawbreakers, job-stealers, and welfare-and-entitlements parasites. Some are terrorists. Others are drunk drivers, rapists, and murderers. I have yet to see an illegal alien with a single superpower. Sorry.

* As a Russian speaker, I can tell you the Russian in this movie is a joke. Ditto for the in-and-out Eastern European accent of Elizabeth Olsen as “The Scarlet Witch.”

Like I said, this movie is kind of a mess, too long, and with too many characters and silly reasons for their contrived fights. That said, it’s better than the previous “Captain America” movie, “The Winter Soldier” (read my review). And the major superhero-versus-superhero civil war fight scene is entertaining if a little drawn out and contrived.

This isn’t a great movie. Not even close. It barely has a plot. And it’s not something I’d pay ten-bucks-plus to see. But at least “Cap” (again, very annoying that he’s not referred to as Captain AMERICA!) has the good sense to see what a joke the United Nations and its treaties are.

HALF A REAGAN
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15 Responses

I can make beer disappear, does anyone else have a super power they’d like to reveal?

And Marisa Tomei may still be hot, too hot to be Aunt May but don’t be dissing Sally Field. Given each in their prime I would say Field was at least as attractive as Tomei.

Rick on May 6, 2016 at 8:11 pm

    Agreed!

    Concerned Citizen on May 7, 2016 at 1:22 am

The version of Aunt May portrayed in the Sam Raimi Spider-Man movies is still the best, by far.

Jim on May 6, 2016 at 8:23 pm

Captain America was always called “Cap” in the comic books

tommy helms on May 6, 2016 at 8:37 pm

    As usual, Debbie has seen through all the usual leftist political angles that Hollywood insists be integrated into the screenplay. And the very idea of the UN having any moral ground, let alone a “high” one, is ludicrous, given that that organization is corrupt and vile from the inside out.

    That said, I must agree with TH that Captain America’s nickname in the comic books was, in fact, “Cap,” so the writers weren’t necessarily referring to the character in that way to specifically pursue an anti-American angle, though there may be plenty of other anti-American stuff in the movie.

    I’d also like to point out that the creator of the Iron Man character, Stan Lee (Lieber), has always been a patriot, and when asked who he was rooting for in this movie, he said he was rooting for Captain America, even though he didn’t create that character.

    The original artists for Iron Man, BTW, were Don Heck and Jack Kirby (Jacob Kurtzberg), and Kirby also worked with Joe (Hymie) Simon to create Captain America. Lee always had a fondness for Captain America because the character was a patriotic icon, much like Superman, created by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster.

    To give you an idea of the kind of patriot that Captain America was in the original comic books, Captain America slugged Adolph Hitler in one of the stories — and this was before Pearl Harbor and America’s entry into the was. This was an extraordinary thing because back then there were many people in America who opposed the US getting involved in the war. Many of them referred to themselves as being “America First.” However, that name was a sham, as most of them were really “Germany First” or “Nazi First,” hiding behind a clever false label implying “patriotism.”

    I’d also like to point out that the “America First” label has popped up again. Donald Trump has started to use the expression. In response to his use of it, the ADL has come out to criticize him because they chose to take the politically correct standpoint that the expression is tied to anti-Semitism, largely because of Lindbergh’s ties to it and others who favored protecting Nazi Germany. But the ADL is wrong in this case, as they often are. The expression “America First” is actually a good one, and when Trump is using it, I believe that he intends it to mean that he favors pro-America economic and security policies. But the ADL wants the anti-Semites to continue to hijack the expression, and that’s a mistake, as Trump’s use of it would take it away from the anti-Semites. As a result, the ADL has stupidly played into the hands of the anti-Semites and have been accused of being “Israel First” by them. Trump’s use of the expression is merely an extension of his “Make America Great” slogan, and there’s nothing wrong with that slogan or the expression “America First,” as long as it isn’t being used to conceal some other, contradictory agenda, like “Islam First.”

    Ralph Adamo on May 8, 2016 at 12:22 am

You said this was better than The Winter Soldier. Yet you gave that movie one and a half Reagans, and this one only received a half Reagan?

tommy helms on May 6, 2016 at 8:43 pm

Oh come on now! Black Falcon lives do matter!

Tommy Thomas on May 7, 2016 at 12:10 am

Ok…first off it’s clear you never liked comics. Second it is clear that the message behind the movie, which is VERY political and relevant to our time, eluded you. Why do you bother pretending you have an opinion that should be heard about a genre you clearly can’t identify with.

There are bad comic book movies (Every Hulk, Wolverine, Deadpool, etc) but to constantly put on blast the best ones with clear contemporary messages, excellent acting and phenomenal special effects….well, its disingenuous.

Seriously. You know nothing of what you speak. I’d expect this review from my 60 year old mom.

Nate

Nathan on May 7, 2016 at 5:38 pm

They did say Captain America a few times, and it is a mouthful so they often use Cap. Not a bad thing. The other issues Debbie mentioned were pretty accurate, but most were an occasional comment, not an overarching “in your face” type of thing.

The U.N. was shown to be dumb and Captain America stuck to his guns and fought the dumb ideas which he articulated why they were dumb several times. They showed the human cost of the gov’t policy of controlling the superheroes.

Overall this movie was actually VERY good IMO. And the previous Captain America (The Winter Soldier) was one of my favorites. I felt the director did a great job with this movie juggling so many heroes. The disagreement between Stark and Rodgers is very well done and believable. The fight scenes were excellent keeping you “on the edge of your seat” because the obvious thing wouldn’t always happen.

There was plenty of the witty humor style that Disney seems to have mastered (e.g. The Avengers, Guardians of the Galaxy, Iron Man, etc) which does not disappoint.

Don’t fear the U.N. stuff, it seems like it’ll be typical Liberal dreams, but that dream quickly becomes the obvious nightmare. I honestly don’t envy the writers and director who had to balance this massive cast, but I really enjoyed it and I think most people will be satisfied spending $10.

James Young on May 9, 2016 at 12:40 am

The absolute lack of imagination on the part of so-called Hollywood producers and directors is stunning. Sick of these superhero movies, one after another, with essentially the same story-line (America is bad! Multi-culti “world order” is good! Islam is great!), all the same, all boring and way too long. Thanks, Debbie — I’ll spend my ten bucks (or more) elsewhere!

jc15 on May 9, 2016 at 7:02 pm

I think that God has pronounced his judgment on the Jews. they have no homeland… there is a Muslim Mosque on their holy sites. The Jewish people are in dispersion. God allows the Muslims to abuse Jews

Karen on May 10, 2016 at 1:42 pm

I agree with Debbie. I saw the movie this week. I thought it was terrible. Completely mindless.

I can’t stand that each movie spends part of my life just setting up the next sequel. I am 0% excited about spidi and what he will do in the next episode.

I don’t find any of the actors convincing. I do not understand the appreciation for huge special affects, and senseless fighting, when no one gets seriously hurt (yeah yeah I know the guy who crashed into the ground-trust me, he will be okay in the next episode, Stark will fix him).

Huge yawn for me. I completely missed Marisa Tomei. I would blame it on a 30 second nap, but everything about this movie did not go far enough into my brain to actually register.

MikeM on May 20, 2016 at 11:26 am

Its a made up story with made up characters. Its all been pulled from a comic with little reality thrown in. I often hear debbie on the radio and gotta say another amateur movie critic who should find another feild. Almoyst every movie she sees has some stupid polictal meaning behind and it usually seems like the left is out to get everyone.

William on May 23, 2016 at 2:38 am

By far this was the best movie this year!

Bill Terrily on May 26, 2016 at 10:52 am

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