February 3, 2006, - 3:33 pm

What Terrorists Surely Know: Super Bowl Security Not so Super; FBI/DHS Neglect

By Debbie Schlussel
Well, we were right about the fact that there isn’t sufficient security at this weekend’s Super Bowl festivities. Michigan/Ohio Homeland Security “leader” Brian Moskowitz a/k/a “Abu Moskowitz” is too busy sending agents to seize t-shirts and protect NFL owners, and FBI Michigan chieftain Daniel Roberts is too busy glad-handing reporters and giving them media tours so he’ll get that new FBI Detroit palace built. And the head of DHS? Michael Chertoff a/k/a “Mr. Burns” is too busy changing facial hair (he’s now sporting a Grecian Formula mustache to hide his resemblance to “The Simpsons” character) to pay attention to the most televised television event of the year.

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Super Bowl Security in Distress

But terrorists ARE paying attention. And so are we. We hope the many FBI and DHS agents who read and/or monitor this site will pay attention and address the details below.
Today, we went to downtown Detroit to have lunch with our friends, two of the greatest sports writers/columnists on the planet (can’t disclose their identities for several reasons)–and see our friends at FOX Sports Net’s “Best Damn Sports Show Period.” We noticed GAPING, OBVIOUS HOLES IN SECURITY.
We parked in the underground parking lot on Detroit’s Jefferson Avenue. There was absolutely NO security at the lot. No one asked us to pop our trunk, and we could have easily snuck in a massive ton of explosives.
This is significant because lot, underneath the busy street is right on front of the Detroit Marriott Hotel inside the “Renaissance Center”–where NFL Super Bowl headquarters and “radio row” are. Most media are there. A ton of Super Bowl traffic is above the lot. The lot is also just next to the entrance of the Detroit-Windsor Tunnel to Canada and the Customs inspector booths.
A smart terrorist could make a big statement and hit a lot of important venues and people in that lot, and Super Bowl weekend
The lot should have been shut down. And SMART FBI and Homeland Security minds would have done so. But “smart” is a key word that we don’t see in action at the higher levels of management and planning at either DHS or the FBI.
When we left the lot, we did so out an emergency exit to which the lazy rent-a-guard inside the lot directed us. The door, right next to the international Tunnel opening and Customs booths, was kept open. When we went back into the lot, we did so through the same door ajar door, through which anyone with explosives could have entered.
Ditto for the crowded “People Mover” train cars we rode and the various stops. All were crowded, no-one searched anyone, and anyone could have been carrying explosives.
As for the NFL headquarters, the Renaissance Center, there are police everywhere but not much security. We wore puffy coats, and no-one checked us to see if we were wearing explosives at the crowded, media-saturated venue. There is no-one checking bags and anyone can get in–credentials are NOT needed.
New definition of “fool”: Anyone who thinks the Super Bowl is safe. The actual Ford Field may be, but the surrounding venues are not. That’s the case regardless of how many times Homeland Security Spokesman/ICE Agent Marc Raimondi tells the media how safe we are.

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2 Responses

Debbie, can you introduce me to Leeann Tweeden?

The_Man on February 3, 2006 at 11:25 pm

Debbie, they were looking for terrorists, not some hot-looking, blond-haired-blue-eyed gal. Funny thing though, imagine if you were Chechen?

KOAJaps on February 4, 2006 at 1:31 pm

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