February 3, 2006, - 4:46 pm

Weekend Box Office: Bad, Less Scary Horror Remake; Disgracing the Border Patrol

By Debbie Schlussel
This weekend, we say skip these movies, debuting today:
* “When a Stranger Calls” (2006)–On this site, we’ve decried the constant bad remakes of movies that weren’t “broke” to being with. It epitomizes the decline of creativity and capitalism–and therefore, ultimately, freedom–in our society.

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1979 “When A Stranger Calls” Much Better Than 2006 Remake

We were scared stiff by the 1979 original version of this movie, a great horror film. But this remake, starring complete unknowns, while slightly scary, is just plain silly. It’s not even half as scary as the original starring the Carole Kane, Charles Durning, and the late Colleen Dewhurst.
The remake relies heavily on contemporary technology in a very modern house that is some sort of Frank Lloyd Wright perversion, but all the new technology, cool house design and appliances, and searing, high-pitch violin music don’t make it more scary than it was in 1979. They, interestingly, make it less so (cell and cordless phones by VTech are apparently not as scary as rotary dial from Ma Bell). And the ending of the original was much scarier, and a much better ending.
We recommend getting the video or DVD of the original ’79 version instead of paying to see this new, very lite version (if you can find it–hard to find). We also hope they don’t remake “When a Stranger Calls Back,” the 1993 TV-movie sequel to the original (also starring Kane, Durning, and Dewhurst).
* “The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada“–THIS MOVIE IS AN OUTRAGE. Tommy Lee Jones’ horrid film defames Border Patrol agents as evil, sex-crazed murderers who kill innocent illegal aliens for sport, while masturbating to Hustler Magazine. As you probably guessed, the illegal aliens are such nice people, and we Americans are unworthies who treat them like dirt. A column/review on this over the weekend.
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5 Responses

Yeah, I remember that one. That was a good movie, but when I saw this previews for this new one it looked like another entry in the “What’s the point in remaking that movie?” category. Yeah, the new one looks stupid. I haven’t seen “When a Stranger Calls Back” but I heard it was pretty bad, nothing like the original.

KnightoftheImpaler on February 4, 2006 at 12:05 am

Don’t forget that Anthony Hopkins played the psychotic young man in the original. He was so disturbing….
HE IS NOT LISTED IN THE CREDITS.
DEBBIE SCHLUSSEL

Sioux on February 4, 2006 at 9:19 am

Debbie..on your review of the movie ‘When a Stranger Calls’, you said “It epitomizes the decline of creativity and capitalism in a free society.” Does this mean that you believe creativity is better expressed in a closed society…such as a theocracy like the Taliban or in a Communist country like North Korea?
Personally I think that these movies just represent laziness and a way to earn an easy buck. Creativity still exists in movies like Capote and Cinderella Man.
NO, MIKE, YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN THAT, IF YOU READ THIS SITE REGULARLY. PUH-LEEZE. WHEN HAVE I, OF ALL PEOPLE, SUPPORTED THEOCRACY LIKE THE TALIBAN OR COMMUNISM? I’VE ONLY DENOUNCED THESE THINGS. YOU NEED TO STOP READING THINGS IN TO MY WORK WHICH YOU KNOW IS FAR FROM ANYTHING I’VE EVER WRITTEN OR SAID.
DEBBIE SCHLUSSEL

American Crusader on February 4, 2006 at 1:52 pm

I skipped the movie about looking for comedy in the muslim world on your recommendation Debbie, besides I heard it wasn’t doing well in Denmark either.

code7 on February 5, 2006 at 6:07 pm

See the dismal rating “When a Stranger Calls” received on rottentomatoes.com
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/10006070-when_a_stranger_calls/
Unfortunately, the PC mindset gave “The Three Burials of Illegal Invaders/Criminals” a pretty favorable review on the same website.
I’d rather pay my money to see “The Three Burials of the Liberal Movie Studios”.

Thee_Bruno on February 6, 2006 at 1:19 pm

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