Debbie Schlussel: Why Jessica Alba's NOT so Fantastic

By Debbie Schlussel

I screened Jessica Alba's and Michael Chiklis' new movie, "Fantastic Four," and really liked it. But now, I can't recommend it.

I can't recommend F4 because its gorgeous and gorgeously dumb starlet, Alba, just can't keep her mouth shut. And it betrays her low IQ.

In today's New York Daily News, Alba tells gossip columnist Lloyd Grove how she's opposed to the War in Iraq because her reservist uncle has to be there. That would be bad enough. But it gets worse.

Alba whines that her uncle signed up for the Army Reserve in California because "he's Northern Italian, and he heard he could get a free trip to Italy." As you can see, cluelessness runs in the Alba family. Too bad. A gorgeous face and body, but a very vacant mind. Nice house, nobody's home.

Last July, the beautiful airhead told Grove, "I just don't have a great feeling about what we're doing in Iraq. I don't know why we're there." But while many hard-working soldiers are there sacrificing their lives, Alba's busy wearing gazillion-dollar baubles from celeb jeweler "Jacob the Jeweler."

Posted by Debbie on July 8, 2005 02:30 PM to Debbie Schlussel