Debbie Schlussel: Fired by Carlos Santana's Consciousness Standard

By Debbie Schlussel

Anti-War leftie Carlos Santana allegedly fired his personal assistant because the man's consciousness was calibrated and deemed "too low." According to a lawsuit brought by the fired man, Bruce Kuhlman, Santana's spiritual guru, "Dr. Dan," administered the test, deciding who was--and wasn't--close enough to G-d to work for Santana.

Santana plays guitar and designs shoes--all while apparently being closer to G-d than us little people. We regular Americans are simply not spiritually evolved enough to hang with him.

In related news, G-d has calibrated Carlos Santana's daily pot dosage, finding it too strong for the delusional Santana to maintain any sense of reality. Reportedly, G-d is also offended by Santana's ultra-hideous headwear.

Posted by Debbie on August 25, 2005 05:23 PM to Debbie Schlussel