Debbie Schlussel: While In Mourning Over Nick & Jessica . . . . (Not Really)
With the announcement of the most important news story of our time--the split of Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey--we can now report that the bizarre relationship between Ms. Simpson and her father, Joe, may now proceed.
A former Baptist Christian minister who left the Church for the more "lofty" prospects of sporting a diamond stud earring, frosted hair, and marketing his two daughters as whores, the senior Simpson has made some interesting pronouncements about his daughter, such as this scintillating gem from a January interview in GQ:
"Jessica . . . just is sexy. If you put her in a T-shirt or you put her in a bustier, she's sexy in both. She's got double D's. You can't cover those suckers up!"
Then, there's this to US Magazine in June: "She gets bold with a glass of wine! . . . . I push Jessica and go 'C'mon baby, you can do it.' [Before she wed Nick], I was her provider, her knight in shining armor."
Looks like Pops can go back to being Double Ds' "knight in shining armor," not typically a description for a father-daughter relationship. But then, most fathers are not their daughters' slut-marketing gurus.
Hey, Jessica: Who's Your Daddy?!
Posted by Debbie on November 25, 2005 04:36 PM to Debbie Schlussel