Debbie Schlussel: Weekend Box Office: Terry Bradshaw's Ass, Gory Horror Remake
* "Failure to Launch": Worst movie of 2006, so far, and I bet it stays in my top ten worst list by year's end. For those of you who really wanted to see Terry Bradshaw's naked, sagging ass and pot belly, this is your flick. (Yes, that Terry Bradshaw, former NFL great and current FOX NFL Sunday commentator.) For the rest, skip it. This movie was just plain awful. And stupid. I'm sure all the sucker female "Sex & the City," Sarah Jessica Parker, and Matthew McConaughey worshippers will flock to see it. You were warned.
* "The Hills Have Eyes": On this site, I've decried the endless procession of remakes as a symbol of the death of creativity and the decay of capitalism and freedom in our society. Here is yet another. This is a remake of a 1977 horror film by Wes Craven (he also produces this remake based on his '77 script).
Gory, very disturbing; lots of senseless, gruesome killing--including horrifying scenes of murder of family members. Definitely scary, but predictable. Also has underlying leftist story of government and Department of Defense nuclear testing which created horribly disfigured, cannibal mutant humans who have "no choice" but to murder innocent Americans because "you made us this way," and includes the proverbial noble savage, a mutant girl. Yes, even the mutant monsters are people, too--after they murdered half a family. (Maybe the ACLU will defend them in court.)
A good message in the movie: The violent mutants turn an anti-gun liberal into a skilled and enthusiastic shooter to protect his baby. Also note: The family terrorized in this movie is named the "Carters." When the movie came out in 1977, guess who was President and terrorized America? Just saying.
Posted by Debbie on March 10, 2006 01:05 PM to Debbie Schlussel