Debbie Schlussel: Attention, NFL Groupies/Pizza Delivery Guy: Lion Roy Williams Ain't Yo' Man
If you're one of the NFL groupies who will do anything for a "date" (euphemism) with a pro football player, if Roy Williams is your guy, don't expect a fancy dinner before the main act.
And if you're a pizza delivery man, you might want to skip over Roy Williams residence, as well.
The guy is cheap--VEEERY cheap!:
On being cheap:I am cheap, I'm a cheap date. Get you some McDonalds, with some cheese on it and I'm just really cheap, man. I'm very low key, I like to stay home. I like to go bowling on Monday nights and I go to the casino every once and awhile. Other than that, you won't see Mr. Williams out at all. . . .
You do tip the pizza guy?
There's no such thing as a tip. But I am really polite and I say 'Thank you sir.' . . . The pizza man knows, when he comes to my address, he's coming for free.
If you're on a date and she wants to go to a nice place, what do you do?
I might just take her to the casino and get her a free buffet. If I did take a date out to a nice place, I'd take her to a nice place, like a Red Lobster or something. It wouldn't be Morton's or nothing like that.
And they say Jews are cheap. Attention, anti-Semites, you might want to change your endearing "Jewed me down" phrase to "Royed me down". "Stop being so Royish."
Hmmm . . . Maybe he'll actually be one of the pro athletes who doesn't spend his millions into bankruptcy.
Posted by Debbie on October 2, 2007 02:20 PM to Debbie Schlussel