August 29, 2006

Men "The New Women" Alert: Guyliner & Man Blouses?

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By Debbie Schlussel

Yet another sign that our society is pushing men to be the new women. Welcome to the "man glossary."

The St. Petersburg Times has a distressing piece that details the "new" feminine male vocabulary.

New words, detailed in the article, include these from the Urban Dictionary (proof that in many cases country and middle American settings are far superior to urban ones):

* "guyliner"--eyeliner worn by "men." FYI, if you wear eyeliner (or "guyliner"), you aren't a guy.

* "man blouse," defined as "shirt with a pattern or style that gives it a feminine quality. Again, if you wear it, you ain't a guy.

girliemen.jpg
Girlie-Men in the NFL?: Tampa Bay Bucs Defensive Tackle Anthony McFarland and Friend Jason Kimbler--Just 2 Girls Getting Their Nails Done

* "mansitive," which is used to describe a man who is extremely sensitive. Uh, there's already a word for that. It's "girlie-man."

If you must use any of these words, if any of them describe you, YOU ARE NOT A MAN.

The St. Pete Times deludedly claims otherwise:

"The man part of these words is designed to reassure men that they won't lose their largely extraneous bits when they do things that women have traditionally done in the past," said Mark Simpson, the British journalist who coined the term metrosexual. "Castration anxiety is at the root of much of this."

Nice try. But, again, anyone wearing a man-blouse and/or guyliner is neither man nor guy. A rose is a rose is a rose.

Socially, this is a confusing time. . . . As a recent series in the New York Times suggests, women are catching up with, and in some cases outpacing, men on college campuses and in corporate boardrooms.

Gender roles, once clearly defined, are more blurred than ever.

No longer perceived as the clearly dominant sex, men have
to assert their masculinity in other ways. Language is one way. . . .

"We're all struggling with life in an age in which the ancient and traditional gender roles are reversed and commingled," said Robin Lakoff , a linguistics professor at the University of California at Berkeley. "Language, as always, gives evidence of social concerns."

Yes, it is a confusing time, and blurring gender roles is a big problem. But, it's not going to be helped one iota by new words and guyliner and man-blouses. Nor will it be helped by NFL linemen getting pedicures and manicures, and regular visits to spas:

Jason Kimbler thought it strange when his friend, Tampa Bay Buccaneers defensive tackle Anthony McFarland, invited him to the Difference, which bills itself as Tampa's first man spa.

"I am a boy from the South," he said.

Since that first invitation, Kimbler, 29, has returned to the South Tampa spa twice. In some ways, he still finds the experience odd. Around his boys, he fudges answers to questions about his whereabouts, so as not to seem soft.

"I'm going to get my feet done or my hands done," he tells them. He makes it clear: "I'm not going to get a pedicure and a manicure."

Uh, that's exactly what pedicures and manicures are, dude (or is that dud-ette?).

Even the guy who invented the word "metrosexual" thinks this is all a bad thing and that the words are cosmetic band-aids on a girlie-man problem of epidemic proportions:

"The insistence on the masculinity of handbags and eyeliner or child care does sound counterproductive. Like a kind of denial of the fact that in traditional terms, these things aren't masculine at all."

G-d--ho is still a "he"--help us. Like Paula Cole sang, "Where have all the cowboys gone?"

Posted by Debbie at August 29, 2006 02:21 PM

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Comments

Since I started checking out your site, these are the kinds of posts that I dig the most. Trademark Schussel. Besides Ivory soap and Johnson & Johnson shampoo, there just isn't that much more a guy needs.

Posted by: Jeremiah [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 29, 2006 03:56 PM

"Trademark Schlussel"

Posted by: Jeremiah [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 29, 2006 03:57 PM

I'm old fashioned: as a man, in the personal care department, I like to shower with soap and water and then shave and put on some after shave. I keep my nails trimmed to I'm not confused with the girls. My only accessory is my wallet. If I need to carry more stuff its either a briefcase or a rucksack for roughing it. But I won't caught dead wearing eyeliner, makeup, carrying a purse or wearing a blouse. That's NOT so me. I still know what it means to be a man in this society and if that's changed, then I'm glad I'm not one of those guys who go out of their way to please women too much. Being a man means being allowed to be different and its by no means only an issue of gender identity and relationship boundaries; in a free society like ours, its all about personal freedom. Women have every right to be equal but that doesn't give them the wherewithal to change men to a woman's fantasy of what men ought to be like.

Posted by: NormanF [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 29, 2006 04:06 PM

Disturbing! And just plain wrong....on every level.
Castration anxiety? Bro, if you're hangin out at joints like this, you shouldn't have much to worry about, cause you have already lost 'em.

Posted by: FalconPilot [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 29, 2006 04:41 PM

Metrosexual

Pronunciation: "me-tr&-'sek-sh(&-)w&l, -'sek-sh&l
Function: noun
Etymology: 2metropolitan + -sexual (as in 2heterosexual)
: a usually urban heterosexual male given to enhancing his personal appearance by fastidious grooming, beauty treatments, and fashionable clothes, a fag wanna-be, an overly sensitized male (mansitive) who exhibits female characteristics, a frootcake, a male who repulses real women, males who wear guyliner and who wear man blouses and who commiserate with women over re-runs of "Sex in the City".

Posted by: Thee_Bruno [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 29, 2006 05:16 PM

It's a joke.

Posted by: KOAJaps [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 29, 2006 05:43 PM

Can you say gay? what happen to the days guys went to massage parlors?

Posted by: PNAMARBLE [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 29, 2006 05:54 PM

I don't really get how this is a confusing time for gender roles. True, women and men have gone into careers that used to be predominately male or female, for example, men staying home with their children or women being in the military but that doesn't give people the exuse to become androgynous. Did I spell that correctly? Anyway, men need to be men. No makeup or manicures. If a woman finds girly men desirable then she is fooling herself a la Star Jones-Reynolds. Men can have feelings but no crying unless someone died and of course men still need basic grooming habits to be able to distinguish himself from apes but that should be the extent of it. How did we come to this place where it's ok for men to act like little school girls and women have to behave like cavemen?

Posted by: Minnie Mouse [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 29, 2006 06:01 PM

Right-on, Minnie Mouse. Right-on!

Posted by: Thee_Bruno [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 29, 2006 07:51 PM

Hey! Why the crack about cities? The toughest, most macho men I know live in the city. And the term man-blouse exactly describes Hawaiian shirts. Real men do not wear Hawaiian man-blouses.

Posted by: LoveAManInAUniform [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 29, 2006 08:04 PM

I use soap, shampoo, & water in the shower. A Norelco electric razor, and Hai Karate. That's all the foofy attention I put on myself. Any guy that goes to a "Day Spa" is f*#&in' gay! END OF STORY!

Posted by: Yiddish Steel [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 29, 2006 11:07 PM

Debbie, you are hilarious! These guys must be destroyed from the hazing they receive from this. I dated a manicurist for two years, it seems counter-intuitive for her to push back my cuticle which provides a seal against bacteria and dirt, so I didn't like it. Afterall, those fingers are going to operate.

Being a man is about taking responsibility for yourself and your family. So to the posters with poor hygiene, "How bout them Bears!"

Posted by: code7 [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2006 11:18 AM

So says Debbie, the 40+ year-old virgin. Nice to know you know so much about men, Deb.

Posted by: titletown [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2006 02:40 PM

There are many manly men who where "blouses." The uniform jacket worn by Soldiers, sailors and airmen is referred to as a blouse.

Posted by: jerry [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2006 03:12 PM

No Jerry, in the Army it's called BDU Top, Battle Dress Uniform, or now it's DCU, Desert Camoflauge Uniform. There's no blouse in there.

Posted by: Minnie Mouse [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2006 06:12 PM

Minnie:

You are wrong. The BDU is not the only uniform used in the military. Service dress uniforms have blouses commonly know as a Jacket in civilian live. You do not go visit Captial Hill in BDUs

Posted by: jerry [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2006 07:20 PM

Sorry Jerry, since I was Tactical and always in some shithole, I never got a chance to wear a "blouse" nor visit Capital Hill.

Posted by: Minnie Mouse [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2006 09:16 PM

Well, I looked it up in 670-1 and there is only a blouse when referring to the female dress uniform. For men it's a shirt.

Posted by: Minnie Mouse [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2006 09:26 PM

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