October 6, 2009, - 2:10 pm

Letterman: I Am the “Victim,” “Inadvertently” Had Sex w/ Staff

By Debbie Schlussel

If you didn’t see David Letterman’s return to his late night show, last night, for the first time after he made revelations about his staff concubinage resulting in attempted extortion and blackmail, here’s what you missed:


Me, me, me, I’m the victim, victim, victim, Me–I’m the victim, I embarrassed my staff “inadvertently.”  Blame Sarah Palin.

PUH-LEEZE.  Yup, I counted Letterman using the “victim” word three times regarding himself.  Then, he apologized for embarrassing and involving his staff, “which I did inadavertently.”  Uh, really?  He “inadvertently” unzipped his pants and had sex with multiple female members of his own staff?  Did they put a gun to his head and rape him?  Oh, and then, Letterman ended his riff on the topic by apologizing “once again to the former Governor of Alaska.”  I have no love for the dysfunctional, hypocritical Palin phonies.  But dragging Sarah Palin into this is ridiculous.

The more we learn about this sleazebag, the more I feel sorry for the extortionist, Robert “Joe” Halderman, who, frankly, was the real victim here . . . if there is one.  It turns out that he was living with and supposedly the fiance of Stephanie Birkitt, one of Letterman’s concubines in question.  He learned that she was sleeping with Letterman and cheating on him at least once a week, when he read her diary.  Then, he went ballistic.  This was after Mr. Halderman was allegedly told by Birkitt–a Benjamin Cardozo Law School grad–that he should stay home and play Mr. Mom, while she worked as Letterman’s personal attorney.

While I’m not condoning extortion, if anyone’s a victim here, it’s the extortionist.  NOT Mr. Worldwide (Get In Your) Pants, Inc., who thought his show was “Late Night with the Non-Bachelor Bachelor.”

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19 Responses

Puhleeaze! No one forced Letterman to sleep with his employees. Not to mention being someone’s boss doesn’t give you the right to sexually harass them. What Letterman did is not just unethical, its breaking the law. And from the law’s viewpoint, its irrelevant that they gave consent at the workplace. Letterman of all people, should have known the consequences – and it doesn’t transform the offender into being the victim. He made his own bed so to speak and sleep in it – on the job.

NormanF on October 6, 2009 at 2:26 pm

Oh, poor Halderman, his lover slep around with Letterman, so that makes him a victim and justifies extortion. Give me a break. Let’s be honest – Letterman and Halderman are both sleazebags and perhaps deserve each other. End of story.

Halderman’s friends claim he is smart, but his actions speak more of an ignoramus. Having the evidence of Letterman’s creepy behavior, he could have legally had a 6- or even 7- figure payday writing a book about Letterman or even selling the story to one of the tabloids. Instead, this asshole thinks he can get away with extorting Letterman. He doesn’t sound too bright to me.

J: I agree. But Letterman is no victim here. And if there is one, it’s the guy who went ballistic when he learned a scumbag was sleeping with his “fiancee.” DS

jayeeegee on October 6, 2009 at 2:52 pm

    I am not sure if his wife can ever forgive him, when he said “he thought of me during sex with his wife”

    Sorrow2 on October 7, 2009 at 3:33 am

Letterman will pay dearly for this, and Halderman, even more. But the slut who started it all, Birkitt, skates away without a scratch.

Spiffo on October 6, 2009 at 3:27 pm

George NYC – come on, there are different rules for liberals. They can rape and boink whomever. They are G-ds.

Now, if Pat Sajak behaved in the same way, he’d be gone by now.

GianniV on October 6, 2009 at 4:26 pm

    It is so scary that the “liberals” can rape a 14-year old girl and virtually got away. It is an outrage!


    epar fdi on October 7, 2009 at 3:38 am

GianniV, that’s true. As Bill Clinton learned, liberal men are excused from the rules that apply to every one else. There’s no longer any shame in our society. That’s why Letterman is back on the air.

NormanF on October 6, 2009 at 4:43 pm

Liberal are excused from rules because they have none.

They do that on purpose. It’s part of the “Play as you go” plan.

This is seen more than “Pay to play” which is also popular with lefties.

Is is 2010 yet?

Sam Adams on October 6, 2009 at 5:40 pm

I haven’t watched that gap toothed f$%k in a long time and when he decided to ride all over Sarah Palins daughter it was really time to turn him off. He should have his ass kicked by one of the female assistants boyfriends.

How about the moron studio audience he was performing in front of with his monologue/confession. Our society is truly hitting the bottom when a scumbag like him continues to get laughs while confessing his disgusting guts out.

Joe on October 6, 2009 at 6:42 pm

Sarah Palin nailed Letterman when she called him a lecherous, dirty old man wanting to have sex with children.

It was disgusting to hear the laughter of the audience as he went through his admissions the other night.

P. Aaron on October 6, 2009 at 8:02 pm

In my entire life, I’ve never been able to watch Letterman for more than 3 minutes at a time. He’s snarky, uppity, condescening, and too hip for his own good (……hey, am I talking about Obama?). These traits may be ok for a pimp, but for me they don’t cut it for a “comedian”. Maybe I’m not familiar enough, but he seems to derive most of the laughter at the expense of other people. Let him, his “conquests”, Halderman, and the whole bunch be the subject for welfare queens at the nail salon and the MSM talking heads. If this is part of “celeb culture”, they can have it. …

Not Ovenready on October 6, 2009 at 8:34 pm

Nail on the Head. Letterman is trash. You are right. Debbie you always on cue about social matters. You are tough, but you are consistent. You didn’t give Palin or Letterman slack. You are consistent. I don’t always agree with your premise but you are consistent.

CaliforniaScreaming on October 6, 2009 at 11:07 pm

Letterman is a scum of a human being… I used to really like him years ago. I guess I do not understand your feelings on Palin, but that’s fine, I agree to disagree. I like her, alot.

Debbie, saw this article today.. your thoughts? I guess I have a lot to learn about history.


sharon on October 7, 2009 at 1:06 am

For me the most tragic part is that his ratings have gone up since this broke. This past monday, 5.7 million viewers tuned in which more than doubled Conan’s TV audience.

Babu on October 7, 2009 at 3:07 am

Anyone else would be terminated for violating corporate policy on sex in the workplace but CBS acts like nothing happened.

Letterman is a has been creepy no talent jerk IMHO.

What does that say about the women who spread their legs for this guy?

ScottyDog on October 7, 2009 at 1:57 pm

How old was the Letterman bastard before Dave married the mother?

Brian on October 7, 2009 at 2:57 pm

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