December 7, 2009, - 9:44 am

New Slogan for Nike: He’ll Fit Right in @ “The Tiger Woods Dubai”

By Debbie Schlussel

Hmmm . . . in light of the fact that the sixth female paramour (and counting) of Tiger Woods has now outed herself in the bad reality show that is our current world, methinks Nike–one of Mr. Woods’ biggest sponsors/endorsements–should amend it’s slogan to . . .

. . . Just Do Them.  Or in the case of Mr. Woods, perhaps it’s Just Do Him.


Wow, this is getting really embarrassing.  Soon, he’ll have enough women for a real, Saudi-style harem.  I think I’m gonna call him “Sheikh Tiger” from now on. It’s only appropriate since he now his has own Sheikdom in Judenrein Dubai, “The Tiger Woods Dubai.”  He’ll fit right in. 

Hmmm . . . 72 skanks v. 72 virgins.


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21 Responses

ANNOUNCER: Mr. Woods is even par after six holes. He’s more than halfway through the front 9.

Ralph on December 7, 2009 at 9:49 am

There doesn’t seem to be a lot of diversity in his choices, either.

Jeff Jordan on December 7, 2009 at 9:55 am

I’d like to see the look on all those suicide bombers’ faces when they discover the misprint in their contract: It’s 72 vegans, not 72 virgins.

The Terrorist's Advocate on December 7, 2009 at 10:14 am

Debbie is a half-baked racist cunt!

Mrs. Woods on December 7, 2009 at 11:18 am

    Obviously YOU are the one with the “half-baked” cunt Mrs. Woods- otherwise Tiger wouldn’t need to look elsewhere for what he should be getting at home, eh?

    Doda McCheesle on December 7, 2009 at 1:06 pm

Mrs. Woods. Fox News is reporting 10 Women have come forward now. Becareful who you call a Cun-. Seems like yours didnt do anygood raising a Sex Addict.

bob on December 7, 2009 at 1:11 pm

I’m sure this whole thing is doing wonders for the collective self esteem of black women. Hahaha.

tempus fugit on December 7, 2009 at 2:52 pm

Well, I guess he can always go on Oprah’s show and seek absolution.

Little Al on December 7, 2009 at 6:23 pm

you mean assholution?

demonneant on December 7, 2009 at 7:45 pm

ANNOUNCER: This just in! Mr. Woods is on hole #10. He’s hoping to finish the back 9 by Christmas. His Caddie is in the shop and his wife has left the clubhouse. It’s full circle for Mr. Woods. He got his start at age 2 on The Mike Douglas Show and his career wraps up on The Oprah Winfrey Show with his book “Perfecting My Swinging.”

Ralph on December 7, 2009 at 7:47 pm

Now from the ridiculous to the absurd. Al Sharpton is raging on Tiger Woods because the none of the mistresses weren’t Black. LMAO!!

“Why is it that a man who calls himself black can’t bring himself to cheat on his wife with a black woman?” said Sharpton, speaking to a group of supporters in Harlem. “What does it say to young black girls everywhere when you pass them over? Shame on you, Tiger Woods. What would your daddy say?”

Must there be affirmative action on mistresses?

I think his choice of ladies were physically attractive women but it didn’t give him a pass to cheat. However if his tastes of not Black women that is his perrogative….Riiight?

Debbie this reminds me of the article you wrote about Alfonso Ribeiro. Ha ha.

CaliforniaScreaming on December 7, 2009 at 9:08 pm

    ****Now from the ridiculous to the absurd. Al Sharpton is raging on Tiger Woods because the none of the mistresses were Black. LMAO!!*****

    Who will clean the coffee I spit on my computer screen off?

    goldenmike4393 on December 8, 2009 at 2:57 pm

Tiger Woods

You must get your freak on like Me!!

Al Sharpton

CaliforniaScreaming on December 7, 2009 at 9:10 pm

At one time I respected him specially when Debbie posted on her sight, Tiger giving his golf ball to a soldier who lost most of his body parts in Iraq.

Oh well, too bad, too sad. It turned out to be he has fetish for big boobs.

Daniel. on December 7, 2009 at 11:50 pm

Congrats to National Enquirer for publishing the first mistress story. I’m sorry for Elin and the children, but better to get out of marriage now than keep living with Sheikh Tiger. (Debbie, I like the Sheikh Tiger name, and I’m a golfer who likes Tiger though I have much less respect for him now). Also, his father and Thai mother divorced after many years of marriage. Rumors were that his father was adulterous with women who came on to him because of his famous son.

Alain41 on December 8, 2009 at 7:43 am

When did an attraction to large breats become a fetish?

The Terrorist's Advocate on December 8, 2009 at 9:22 am

Breasts…not breats. Sorry.

The Terrorist's Advocate on December 8, 2009 at 9:23 am

This is a real mess. Tiger was admitted for drug overdose the day after Thanksgiving.

He has a HUGE comcubine.

And, Elin has had enough and moved out of the house. I think Tiger needs a GPS attached to his blank.

goldenmike4393 on December 8, 2009 at 2:59 pm

We live in a crazy world where people have nothing better to do!
they judge people they really dont know. its not like tiger killed anyone. everyone has problems even people that are rich beyond belief. none of this makes him a bad person. I still like him and respect the fact that he screwed up!!!!!!!!!!!!

chuck on December 10, 2009 at 7:57 am

Do any of us know Tiger personnally? Most likely not (thankfully…lol). Just because some people are in the public spotlight, it is natural for us to start believing that we know who they are. In a world of 9 billion different people, why should we expect that everyone else should be just like us?? That is narrow minded thinking. I am not saying what he did was right, as his family was affected. What I am saying is, who are we to judge?? As for race, Al Sharpton’s comments, etc…it is simple ignorance! So get to work people and stimulate this shitty economy!

bb on December 10, 2009 at 10:28 am

chuck and bb are kidding right? he didnt just screw up, he screwed up BIG TIME. LIKE HELLO ~ he cheated on his wife how many times ? one slip up might be passable but like 10 mistresses .. please. this is more than a screw up. you dont screw up like this 10 times.

and whatever bb, ure delusional. we judge him as being unfaithful, end of story. is there a justification needed ? that you put your penis before your marriage ?

this fella is horny lol. rich and nice family and yet cheats on his wife. shame.

ttt on December 11, 2009 at 6:08 pm

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