September 8, 2008, - 3:41 pm

Attention, Obama Supporters: I Don’t Give a Damn That Michelle Hussein Obama’s Cousin is a (Fake) Rabbi

By Debbie Schlussel


A number of Obama supporters and Jewish people–some who are supporting Obama, some who have a brain and are not–have sent me an article (from the Left-wing Jewish newspaper, “Forward”) about how Michelle Hussein/Insane Obama has a “first cousin, once removed” who is allegedly a “Rabbi”.

And I should care about this because . . .?

That is supposed to magically erase all of the radicalism, pan-Islamism, pro-Palestinian terrorism, Nation of Islam, and anti-American associations of Mr. Michelle Obama?


Michelle Hussein Obama’s Cousin, “Rabbi” Capers Funnye

Oh, and by the way, her “rabbi” first cousin, once removed, Capers Funnye, presides over a group of Black Hebrews, a cult associated with Louis Farrakhan and the Nation of Islam. Yup, that makes me feel real comfy. The Black Hebrews or Black Israelites are not recognized by mainstream Judaism and often go to Israel to cause problems. Although from what I’ve read, it looks like Obama’s cousin is a decent guy and practices more of Judaism than most Jews. (It’s not about race–there are many Blacks who are legitimately Jews.)

Still, that makes no difference to me in considering Mr. Obama himself.

It’s very interesting how every single candidate wants to suddenly find some connection to the Jews when they’re running for office. The best–and funniest–take I’ve seen on this is Soccer Dad’s “When You’re Running For Office, The Whole World Is Jewish.”

I don’t like the pandering.

Every single candidate–on both sides of the aisle–promises to move the U.S. Embassy to Israel’s capital, Jerusalem. Reagan, Bush the daddy, Clinton, Bush the dummy, and now, John McCain, all promised to do this. None did. So, whenever I hear this from a candidate, I say to the TV screen, stop BS-ing me! They never mean it, and you can tell when they say it that they have no such intention. And we all know about Barack Hussein Obama’s flip-flop on Jerusalem as the capital of Israel.

I don’t give a damn. When I vote, I don’t care if:

* someone is Jewish (Senator Carl Levin);

* their dad is a Jewish (Wesley Clark);

* they’re embarrassed of and trying to hide their Jewish heritage, pretending to be Irish (John Kerry)–okay, I do care about that, and if you engage in that phoniness, you don’t get my vote);

* they suddenly claim to have a Jewish step-grandfather (Hillary Clinton);

* they make up the absurd claim they’re going to put a “kosher kitchen in the White House” (Bill Clinton)–and why anyone not Jewish would do this I haven’t a clue, but we all know he said it to get votes and never meant it, as if Slick Willie would ever give up BLTs;

* they have a “first cousin, once removed” that’s a Rabbi of a cult group of fake Jews, but hang out with Palestinian activists Edward Said and Ali Abunimah and have Nation of Islam people on their Senate Staff (Michelle Hussein Obama and Hubby, Barack);

* they wear a yarmulke or Obamaka at a synagogue, especially one of those dumb, tacky satin ones (Pretty much Every Presidential & VP Candidate).

None of these things will make me vote for a particular candidate. And in fact, whenever I see or hear these kinds of things, I see right through the phony pandering and know the person is probably not for me.

What I care about is:

* What will you do about America’s immigration problems? Muslim immigrants to America who pose a growing threat?

* What will you do about growing Muslim impositions on American soil?

* What will you do on economic and social policy in America? Big Brother or Free Market?

* Why can’t I have an automatic machine gun if I want one? Do you want to take away my ability to own and carry a gun?

* Will you start a Manhattan Project to get us off of oil once and for all and drill offshore and in Alaska until the problem’s solved, or will you look to your speaking fees and Presidential library donations 4-8 years from now?

* How do you plan to address the constant Israeli fight against terrorism? What are your views on Jerusalem, a Palestinian terrorist state, Iran?

* Do you think America should be like Europe?

* Etc., etc., etc.

If you don’t have the right answers on these, I don’t care if you are Moses, himself, and the ultimate Talmudic scholar. You won’t get my vote.

And please, take that silly satin yarmulke off. It doesn’t become you.

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