February 11, 2010, - 4:25 pm

Checking Under the Hood: Another Reason Islamic Face Veils Are Ridiculous

By Debbie Schlussel

They keep telling us how modest Islam is (it isn’t), how the men don’t judge women by their beauty (what beauty?  and, yes, they do), and other idyllic myths Westerners are eager to believe about the Religion of Savagery.

But this story says it all and then some about all that.  As reader DJ says, “I guess this Arab should have checked under the hood.”  Indeed.  (Plus, it’s hard to eat spaghetti–see video.) As longtime readers know, I call the Islamic face veil–the niqab–“the full ninja,” and for good reason.

An Arab ambassador called for an instant divorce after discovering his veil-wearing fiancée had a beard and was cross-eyed, it emerged today.


Family Photo: “Your Sister’s Prettier”

The would-be bride had hidden her face behind a Muslim niqab throughout their short courtship, meaning the diplomat had no idea what she looked like.

But as soon as the marriage was contract was signed in Dubai, in the United Arab Emirates, he tried to kiss her, before coming face-to-face with her hairy face and strange squint.

‘He was absolutely horrified,’ said a wedding guest.

‘The bride had a nice personality, but there was a good reason why she was hiding her looks behind a veil.

‘A divorce was inevitable, and the groom went straight to court leaving his new bride in floods of tears.’

The unnamed ambassador, who is in his 40s and has worked all over the world, including in Paris, told an Islamic Sharia court that he was tricked into the arranged marriage, Dubai’s official government newspaper reported.

He claimed the woman’s parents sent his own mother and and father pictures of her far more attractive sister.

I love the part about how she “had a nice personality.” One word: waxing.

If only they told us the dude’s name.

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31 Responses

Debbie, have you ever considered an online radio show? Are you on the radio at all? if so, where?

sharon on February 11, 2010 at 4:28 pm

I agree with Sharon!

John N on February 11, 2010 at 4:38 pm

ROTFLMAO – Serves them right, those bass-ackward muslims with their BS sharia law. Just because the bride had a beard doesn’t mean it wasn’t a middle eastern woman (heh). I hope to hear another one of these stories except that it was a sheep or a goat.

Jarhead on February 11, 2010 at 4:39 pm

    “I love the part about how she “had a nice personality.” One word: waxing.”

    It is amazing that he had not even taken the trouble to look at the merchandise before making the purchase. Also, it is pretty amazing that the furry girl did not take the opportunity to shave before the wedding. I think there is more to this story than is being revealed, unless that diplomat is a complete idiot.

    Worry01 on February 11, 2010 at 9:00 pm

This story is funny. However, there is a more serious side to this issue.

As businesses and others (i.e. airports) start to expand the use of facial recognition technology, I am predicting an “explosion” of legal challenges involving those (as Debbie calls it) who go “the full ninja”. Either the Ninja look will have to be temporarily dispensed with, or facial recognition technology will be rendered useless (You will have men going “the full ninja” in order to avoid detection).

I_AM_ME on February 11, 2010 at 4:46 pm

My gosh! I work at Babies R Us, I act extra nice to the female customers covered in veils because I fear something BAD might happen if one false move is made. Besides the religion, there’s pregnancy hormones.

Matthew on February 11, 2010 at 4:48 pm

Yikes. Can’t even comment on this post, but I’d like to point out that ANY self-respecting MBA (or anyone with a basic knowledge of business) would not claim to single-handedly have “caused Starbucks to have its best quarter” as Schlussel does on her biography page.

A on February 11, 2010 at 5:43 pm

    She slammed down a mjor competitor, caribou Coffee, by revealing its links to Terrorism. I don’t go to the one in my town, thanks to Deb. Opponent down, you go up.

    Occam's Tool on December 29, 2010 at 12:28 am

Is waxing against Islamic law. Oy! Larry David has a hysterical skit on one of the older Curb Your Enthusiasm seasons about this very same issue. Be careful, You never know what may be behind that Burqua!

rebecca on February 11, 2010 at 5:44 pm

Its a perfect outfit for a bank robbery…. no one can give a description to the police. I wonder how the Arab Laban tricked his Jacob into marrying his ugly daughter… or son?

NormanF on February 11, 2010 at 7:05 pm

    Leah wasn’t ‘ugly’ and Jacob had most of his children with her. But Rachel was special.

    ari-free on February 11, 2010 at 10:22 pm

      You are cottect. Jacob had indentured himself for a period of time in order to obtain Rachel, and not her sister. Uncle Laban had pulled a fast one on Jacob by doing what he did. Also, there was the element of Uncle Laban really teaching his nephew some good lessons in the process. Jacob was more like Uncle Laban than his father Isaac. In a sense, Laban showed Jacob more love and appreciation than his own father, who favored Esau. The proof of this was the increasing jealousy of Laban’s sons toward Jacob toward the end of his stay.

      Worry01 on February 12, 2010 at 10:19 am

Then again, there is the flip side to wearing the niqab:

– You could wear your PJs under it, or go buff
– Think of all the money you’d save on items like make-up, salon visits, botox, hair
care products

resofnville on February 11, 2010 at 7:25 pm

Then, there is the flip side to wearing the niqab:

– You could wear your PJs under it or go buff
– Think of all the money you’d save on items such as make-up, visits to the salon, botox, hair care products and accessories, etc.
– Don’t need to worry about facial hair, hell you don’t even need to pluck your brows or shave your legs.
– No one will know you are having a bad hair day
– Break-out, cold sore, bad breath? No problem!
– You never have to worry about running into anyone you never want to see again, like an ex-boyfriend, an old boss, etc.

The list could go on…….

There should be a national niqab day similar to Halloween or St. Patty’s Day. But, only females can participate and wear a niqab for the day. We should get the day off of work with pay, of course. And, I don’t know, maybe just wear the garment to a bar and drink. We need to write our congressmen.

resofnville on February 11, 2010 at 7:47 pm

I got banned from Youtube for posting this video and for posting the hate suras.

John in LA on February 11, 2010 at 8:42 pm

I’m pretty sure that under the full ninja the women are painted, fluffed, coiffed, etc. Lingerie is a growing business over in the Kingdom and other locations. Which brings to mind that hilarious catch 22 that Saudi women find themselves mired in with regards to shopping for such frilly items…but I digress.

cirrus1701 on February 11, 2010 at 9:05 pm

    No doubt that some middle eastern are runway beautiful. But, think of the endless possibilities, you could wear that sexy lingerie underneath the tent while grocery shopping and no one will know.

    resofnville on February 12, 2010 at 8:22 am

That spaghetti video is just hilarious! Would they laugh at this in Saudi Arabia too or just think nothing of it? I wonder…

Ed on February 11, 2010 at 9:12 pm

Ed, this reminds me of the joke about feminists. Perhaps you’ve heard it.

Q: How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?


skzion on February 11, 2010 at 9:19 pm

I read a book published by Voice of the Martyrs (They help persecuted Christians worldwide)called “Princess.” It was written, anonymously, by a Saudi princess about her life as a woman in the Muslim world. I remember when she described the preparations for her wedding–to an older, wicked man–and the women held her down while they waxed *every* bit of hair (except for her scalp) off of her. It was just part of the ritual for brides, but humiliating and extremely painful. It was the first thing I thought of when I read this story…waxing must not be forbidden.

LifeInaShoe on February 11, 2010 at 10:25 pm

The spaghetti video makes Mr. Bean seem reasonable.

Tempus Fugit on February 12, 2010 at 1:40 am

Reminds me of Jacob’s wedding night–but Leah was no doubt a beauty too. So he got a 2-fer deal (for seven extra years)–and the rest is history. Marrying blind has risks. Yeeeeikes.

BB on February 12, 2010 at 6:40 am

On the hilarious spaghetti vid, do they have one of the damsels eating corn on the cob?

BB on February 12, 2010 at 6:43 am

check this out,,, unfrikkenbelievable!!


Harry Reid Lied on February 12, 2010 at 10:35 am

The story is funny and sad. Funny this guy thought he was some big shot getting the pick of the litter and got this other lady. Sad that women are forced to wear these ninja outfits to appease this cult. Oh well. The spaghetti video was funny but wrong. Wrong that they have to do this. Common sense would tell you if God wanted you to eat with a veil in front of your face he would have put a veil in front of your face.

CaliforniaScreaming on February 12, 2010 at 10:43 am

So when does news of her “honor suicide” come out?

ender on February 12, 2010 at 11:54 am

They aren’t forced to wear them.They’re given the option after they’re 1st priod to NOT wear them.They wear them because they feel naked without them,AND they don’t want to be judged by future husbands based only on looks.It also happens in U.K. and here in America.I should know I have 9 islamic and muslim male and female friends.

Maquinda Ward on February 14, 2010 at 5:35 pm

    And, of course, because they would be raped for being “immodest” without them. Remeber, Muhammed raped a 9 year old—his youngest wife, Aisha. So say the hadiths.

    Occam's Tool on December 29, 2010 at 12:30 am

wow, u guys are ridiculous.

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