February 21, 2010, - 5:42 pm

Tiger Woods Regurge: Shameless Gloria Allred Hosts Embarrassing Parody of Herself

By Debbie Schlussel

Several years ago, I debated Gloria Allred on CNN, over the issue of Augusta National’s lack of female members, which should have been a non-issue.  Feminists like Allred tried to make it one, and she bragged on the air that she once successfully sued a women’s health club on behalf of men.  I responded:  “What a great service to America, Gloria.”  Read the transcript (scroll down).  (I’ll try to post that video up on YouTube at some point).


Now, the shameless Allred performs yet another “great service” to America in representing several of Tiger Woods’ jilted bims, including this one in what appears to be a very funny, yet pathetic Saturday Night Live parody, but is, sadly, all too real.  I probably should’ve entitled this entry, “I slept with Tiger Woods, and I didn’t even get a lousy T-shirt.”  Essentially that’s the “meat” of this press conference.  To wit, that some sleazy bim is mad that the equally sleazy Tiger Woods isn’t living up to the lies he fed to his entire harem of gullible ditzes and is not leaving his wife for her even though “he promised me.”  Hilarious.  Oh, and way to distract us from the fact that you’re just a vile, blow-up doll harlot by wearing a “seemingly conservative” shirt that’s about 20 sizes too small for your, um, “silicone valley.”  Disgusting.  But, yet, pure comedy gold. I keep waiting for Ashton Kutcher to walk in or someone saying, “Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night.” Or, at least, a “question” from “Jake Byrd.”

Back in ancient history, a mistress was embarrassed. So sad that the world has degraded into these faux-crying shakedown press conferences with Allred and her bim clients, upset that they weren’t the only other woman in his life beside his wife.  Yup, yet another major step in the cultural decline of America.  Cha-ching. Monica Lewinsky apparently played it all wrong. She could’ve hired Allred and owned a piece of the Clinton Library.

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49 Responses

Gold digging whores. I’m not buying all the emotional theatrics and boo hoooing. These two skanks are just looking for a big payoff. That said, Tiger Woods is one stupid dumb ass.

Tempus Fugit on February 21, 2010 at 5:53 pm

And she gave up her lucrative profession of Porn Star? I was unaware that she is now no longer viable for that job. She fakes tears so well I am sure she can still fake other emotions.
Funny how these two women make no mention of Tiger’s promises he made to his wife before witnesses and signed a document to the effect when he got married. She essentially argues that Tiger “lied to me” after he lied to his wife (and how many other gullible morons did he lie to before her?).He’s a liar so I believed every word he said to me is not a good argument.

Bob on February 21, 2010 at 6:05 pm

If the money’s good should I claim to be Tiger’s secret homosexual lover? There’s no shame in America anymore…anything goes. And no one I give a rat’s ass about would believe it anyway so my persoanl life wouldn’t suffer.

I’ll start writing up a business model right away.

Oh Tiger…sniff!…snort!!!…why have you abandoned me!!? I thought I was the only one!!!!!! Waaaaagh!!

What a tool.

The Terrorist's Advocate on February 21, 2010 at 6:22 pm

I sense a new reality TV show. ‘Celebrity Sperm Receptacles’.

#1 Vato on February 21, 2010 at 6:46 pm

Has anyone counted the number of first-person pronouns Golfer Guy employed in his, oh, apology?

Mack Hall on February 21, 2010 at 6:49 pm

Stunning. I’ve never liked Gloria Allred, but I didn’t realize what a low life she is until I saw this.

Keamon on February 21, 2010 at 7:01 pm

the funny thing is sean hannity gave her an entire twenty minutes on his show and didn’t disagree with anything she said. fox news hahahahaha

tyler on February 21, 2010 at 7:56 pm

I once heard Phil Hendrie interview Allred. Sublimely
hilarious. I suspect he was doing her voice, but to this
day I couldn’t swear it wasn’t for real.

demonneant on February 21, 2010 at 8:08 pm

    I once heard Phil Hendrie interview Allred. Sublimely
    hilarious. I suspect he was doing her voice, but to this
    day I couldn’t swear it wasn’t for real.

    demonneant on February 21, 2010 at 8:08 pm

    OMG Phil Hendrie is the GREATEST! I wish I could dial him in at night. I bet it was a SCREAM. What a talent.

    goldenmike4393 on February 22, 2010 at 5:40 pm

Allred lied. She said her client quit her job for Tiger.

Seems she just changed employers paying her for sex.

Now file that unemployment claim, wait for your stimulus check, find another employer and get back to work.

ender on February 21, 2010 at 8:55 pm

I always thought Gloria Allred was a sleazy, ambulance-chasing shyster, but now even she has hit a new low. These women she represents are nothing more than gold-digging whores, and Gloria Allred is the worst of the bunch.

DG in GA on February 21, 2010 at 10:04 pm

I agree with Debbie and everyone else here on this post.

Therefore, I’ll provide the proper ending to what should have been an SNL comedy skit (but wasn’t):

“Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night!”

JeffE on February 21, 2010 at 10:16 pm

I just read the transcript. You basically owned Allred. So many people in the media get crushed by this psychotic witch. Right on. Would love to see the video. Come back to TV Debbie and kicked some butt like you used to. Obviously there is a blackout on the shows against you. She is the ultimate man-eater. As for the whore Veronica, this is the most fake pathetic plea for sympathy I have seen since well uhh…John Edwards.

Watch Gloria Allred get owned by Morton Downey Jr.

CaliforniaScreaming on February 21, 2010 at 10:44 pm

I first saw Allred on the ancient Morton Downey Jr. Show–it was in the mid 80’s. It was TV shock talk in it’s infancy–and Downey was egging on Allred, who was there for some other bim cause, that he wanted her sexually–part of his shtick. Since that time, Allred has proved he was right, she is trash.

Allred’s “Veronica gave up her occupation and only source of income as a porn star..” is Wahhhhh. unbelievable!!

BB on February 21, 2010 at 10:58 pm

It was almost surreal. The made for tv. tears, the silicon breast implants, and the canned statement made it all so amusing. A porn star acting out,very badly, the part of an offended maiden was worth a horse laugh. Gloria Allred must be really hitting bottom to take such cases. Maybe Gloria will start taking on those hot coffee clients next?

sorrow01 on February 21, 2010 at 11:02 pm

    I feel sorry for Veronica, that pathetic, money-and-attention-crazy human being.

    Miranda Rose Smith on February 22, 2010 at 1:59 am

    Allred doesn’t even know how an offended maiden looks or dresses.

    Miranda Rose Smith on February 22, 2010 at 2:01 am

So, this was REAL?

It wasn’t a comedy skit?

John Robert Mallernee on February 22, 2010 at 12:02 am

This whole Tiger Woods affair never seems to end. Everyone has something to say about it. I always enjoy listening to Rolonda Watts- her perspective on affairs is actually really thought provoking- http://bit.ly/baVUvw

jana on February 22, 2010 at 12:22 am

Allred is all about herself.

pat on February 22, 2010 at 1:33 am

ALLRED should have told that poor woman her blouse was too tight (skinny as she is) and she should put a jacket on and lose that wig.

Miranda Rose Smith on February 22, 2010 at 1:50 am

Did it occur to anyone besides me that it was STUPID of Tiger Woods to put that kind of thing in text messages?

Miranda Rose Smith on February 22, 2010 at 1:54 am

Gloria is a female Al Sharpton. “No justice, No piece..No justice No piece!”

Steven Hauptman on February 22, 2010 at 2:25 am

I usede to think that Gloria Allred is a piece of dreck. Now I have no doubt.

She is a waste of good air. What the hell does she contribute POSITIVELY to the World? She is the Weekly World News of lawyers.

WHEN will she be disbarred for BARETRY and PETTITFOGGERY?

Hymie Zoltsveis on February 22, 2010 at 2:59 am

Spell that BARRETRY!!! Gloria F-ing scumbag All-Red (as in Commie)

Hymie Zoltsveis on February 22, 2010 at 3:01 am

Just saw this on Vannity. Debbie I know hate Vannity, but this is CLASSIC!!! Not really about Vannity, just Gloria Allred vs. Jeanine Pirro.

At 6:20 The Fun Really Starts. Pirro drops the Bomb. “In the last 2 years she’s done 16 porn movies….I got a list of her porn movies, starting with “Mama Blanks a Black Man”….



CaliforniaScreaming on February 22, 2010 at 4:17 am

    Thanks for the link and the time to start viewing. Talk about filibustering! You know your case is weak when you won’t let the prosecutor get a word in edge wise. Very funny. I didn’t know the porn industry held those videos back so they can capitalize on them later. Maybe it’s all that editing that takes so long. Or liscensing the product placements. Remember, that was her ONLY source of income. At least the only provable source of income. All others are cash only (something tells me this girl isn’t bright enough for cash only…there is probably a paper trail).

    Bob on February 22, 2010 at 9:37 am

Ouch! Does this mean that if we men visit the Mustang ranch we could be liable for their bad hair days???

Patrick Mullen on February 22, 2010 at 8:00 am

Two whores of a different sort.

Oscar on February 22, 2010 at 8:35 am

I hear Gloria Allred is going into business with Al Sharpton with their business being named “Hustlers, Inc.”

Tim on February 22, 2010 at 10:22 am

Wow. Let me get this straight….. a pornstar falls in love with Tiger and she believes that he’s going to leave his Swedish model wife and mother of his 2 kids for her??? What’s more stupid, her claim that she actually believed that or her expectation that people will feel sorry for her?

Kaiser Sozay on February 22, 2010 at 11:35 am

Give me a break. I love Tiger’s golf game but once a cheater, always a cheater. These whores are certainly getting the most of their 15 minutes. And as to why Gloria Allred represents people like this, its because everyone knows she is nothing more than a hack and these are the only clients she can get. They all need to go away!

Musiccgirl on February 22, 2010 at 11:58 am

So did America go from prenuptial agreements to predate agreements? Do we need signed disclaimers when we pick up our dates or before issuing a pickup line? Do we need a team of lawyers with us when go out for the night?

Fred Taub on February 22, 2010 at 12:02 pm

I say that the country is really going down the toilet,a lot faster than I thought. Do you not see how those “reality shows” have cropped up and the vast American audience watching them. I remember when getting caught WAS A BIG DEAL. Now an apology where the press media is present is the thing now to make things better. Look at those celebrity stars who are not married but adopting children ala Angeline Joliene. I did not watch it and did not care to in the future to watch the press conference. I will be doing the same with Gloria Alred press conferences too. Just sad that the New Morals are becoming the norm.

Mario on February 22, 2010 at 4:59 pm

I promise you that Tiger Woods will not change.

Oh, that’s right, he’s going back to Buddha. Well, that’s the reason there’s no hope for him.

A shame, really…

goldenmike4393 on February 22, 2010 at 5:35 pm

Gloria is pathetic. She is a worthless lawyer who is after exposure and money. She makes me and most American’s sick.

tigerbait on February 22, 2010 at 9:35 pm

She is a freakin porn star for G-d’s sake.
And she thinks Tiger is going to leave his wife for her??? Gimme a break.
I am not sure who is the bigger whore, her or Gloria Allred.

Stephen on February 22, 2010 at 11:20 pm

Tiger had his fun. If Whore Lady #1 wants money, it should be based on what Tiger would have paid a street tramp for a “service job” and ball jopint adjustment.

Gloria All-Red, Whore Lady #2, missed her true calling. She looks like, and would be best suited to be a madame, running a whore house.

It’s not who you know; it’s who you blow.

Hymie Zoltsveis on February 23, 2010 at 7:26 am

ADULTS HAVING CONSENTUAL SEX does not deserve an apology, Gloria Allred! She was on Hannity last night saying her client deserves an apology.

Look, this ho knew who he was, also that he was married with children and yet she CHOSE to have sex with him on numerous occasions. Her morals sucked as much as Tigers’ did.

So no apology Gloria. Take your client and go away cause all you are looking for is some cash and then write a book or land a movie deal. Is is all about the money.

Pat on February 23, 2010 at 8:39 am

Gloria seems to know every prostitute, porn star and otherwise loose woman in America. She showed up in Chicago a couple of weeks ago to speak out on behalf of the prostitute who accused the Dems lt. governor candidate of once trying to kill her. I’m sorry but Tiger owes this woman no apology. Her client owes Tiger’s wife an apology. And if Tiger got her to end her career as a porn star, then she owes him a big thanks. Gloria is a complete disgrace to our legal profession. I understand she takes on these clients pro bono, but she makes them sign contracts that require them to pay a certain percentage of any book or movie deals she is able to get for them as a result of the publicity. Remember the woman who made accusations against Schwartzenneger when he first ran for governor of California? Gloria tried to sue Arnold for defamation. The court threw her case out because it was Gloria’s press conferences that actually publicized her client’s complaint.

Gary Welsh on February 23, 2010 at 11:10 am


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