July 22, 2005, - 6:58 am

Happy Homeland Security Kumbaya Day – an Abu Moskowitz Update

By Debbie Schlussel
If you’re an illegal immigrant, alien smuggler, terrorist, or money launderer anywhere near Michigan or Ohio, today is the day to commit your crime and get away with it. If you’re a taxpayer anywhere in America, today is yet another day that Homeland Security is wasting your money on beer-guzzling parties, instead of keeping you safe.
Today, Michigan and Ohio Homeland Security agents will be busy protecting the rest of us–at a mandatory barbecue and volleyball training session at Michigan’s Selfridge military base, while criminals and illegal aliens are free to do illegally as they wish, unfettered. That’s the latest “Homeland Security” project of a/k/a Abu Moskowitz, Special Agent in Charge of Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) for Michigan and Ohio.
Those billions in taxes you paid in the name of fighting terrorists are really going to fund beers and hot dogs, while Homeland Security chieftain Moskowitz and his agents “guard” the perimeter Selfridge golf course, volleyball courts, and inland beach from terrorists and other malefactors. Of course, none of Moskowitz’s agents want to be there. They want to do REAL law enforcement work (most of which Moskowitz has shut down, if it’s Muslim-related)–or enjoy their hard-earned vacations (all of which Moskowitz suddenly cancelled for the purpose of attending this questionable confab). Morale could not be lower, and the best agents want to quit.
They question why ICE, which Moskowitz “runs,” has no money for pens and files for opening new cases on money laundering, terrorist funding, drug dealing, and illegal immigration (or even adequate oil changes for agents’ “G” cars). Yet, there is plenty of taxpayer dollars to improperly spend for Moskowitz to party at this summer barbecue, while illegal immigrants, money launderers, etc. can do as they wished, unimpeded.
In the past, I’ve written about Abu Moskowitz, and how he’s too busy and during the business day, to worry about illegal immigrants (), illegal drugs, money laundering, and counterfeit goods connected to Islamic terrorists. I’ve also written about how he’s allowed an Islamic terrorist to for new agents, and how an alleged sex offender/child molester and a drunk-driving prostitute patron –both of whom will be at today’s Homeland Security picnic.
The only “substantial” thing Abu Moskowitz has done, of late, was at the All-Star Game (to get his name on ESPN.com–more on that, next week). Don’t you feel safe now that t-shirts featuring an Old English letter “D” are off the streets, to keep them from terrorizing your children?
Rest assured, the hot dogs are good, and so is the mustard. The investigation of illegal aliens, drug dealers, and Islamic terrorists, not so much. Unless they just happen to be among those enjoying a Heineken at Selfridge, today. Fat chance.
Hey Abu Moskowitz, this Bud’s for you. Kumbaya!
***UPDATE: I was contacted by one of Moskowitz’s Ohio ICE agents, Saturday. While they were invited to the day-long, tax-funded Moskowitz party at Selfridge military base in Michigan, he tells me that–unlike all of the Michigan-based ICE agent, for whom attending and partying with Abu Moskowitz was mandatory (all vacation and work was cancelled)–they did not attend. “NO ONE from Ohio attended the mandatory festivities, we were all busy protecting the homeland!” Glad to hear it. But that assumes that, unlike his behavior in Michigan, Abu Moskowitz has not shut down most Ohio investigations into Islamic terrorism funding, illegal Islamic immigration, etc.

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7 Responses

I bet Abu Moscowitz is shitting himself everytime you mention him.

shleppy on July 22, 2005 at 6:10 pm

I bet he’s not.

1811 on July 23, 2005 at 2:48 pm

From what I know the shitting is now fullblown diarrea. 1811 is obviously one of the higher ups in the office if not Moskowitz himself. Definitely Abu M is worried. No one wants to work for the guy anymore.
I saw 1811s other comment defending the molestor and prostitute using alkie in the office. 1811 is code 4 federal agent and the guy is defending criminals in the agency? What a joke! This is the kind of crap we have to deal w/. For sure he’s monitoring this site for Abu M which means bigtime diarrea.

fedupwsaicmoskowitz on July 23, 2005 at 6:12 pm

Debbie: ICE can’t sic the IRS on us can they?

shleppy on July 23, 2005 at 8:48 pm

Actually, fedupwsaicmoskowitz, if you want to get technical, 1811 is Criminal Investigator. You can be an 1801 and still be considered a Federal Agent, you’re just an IEA, not an SA like 1811’s. In my previous post, I definitely wasn’t defending the two “bad seed” agents. I merely stated that I felt she went too far, same thing with this post. That wasn’t too smart of her to post when and where all of Detroit ICE was going to be. Thanks for assuming I was a “higher up,” I take that as a compliment. Who even said I work for ICE, anyway? You don’t think other Agencies are reading this?
By the way, “fullblown” and “bigtime” are both two seperate words. “Diarrea” is supposed to have an “h” and “molestor” ends with “er” not “or.” College, anyone?

1811 on July 25, 2005 at 6:51 pm

To 1811,
ICE-hole, if you are going to nitpick me for spelling then maybe you should do a little spellcheck of your own. It’s SepArate not SepErate, hypocrite. High School, anyone?
Definitely you are a Moskowitz stooge. Instead of attacking the messenger, the question you should be asking is why a whole day and lots of taxpayer money was wasted on Friday. If you think it was a secret that everyone was at Selfridge you are very deluded. What was accomplished there? It was a waste. If exposing sex offenders and criminals who still work in the office is going too far that should tell everyone about ICE management and its hypocritical mindset. The person who went too far is the one who keeps them employed and the one who defends them on this blog. That means you.

fedupwsaicmoskowitz on July 26, 2005 at 8:26 am

You got me. One spelling error. I sincerely apologize. It’s just pretty ironic that I made it while correcting four of yours.
Please tell me how I was defending the two agents on this blog. I actually agree with the majority of what Debbie has written. Contrary to what management believes, pens and pencils are a necessity, being told to only replace one windshield wiper and not the other is a safety hazard and yes, it would be nice to drive a car that is guaranteed to start when you go make arrests. Working with a prostitute patron and a man who flashes innocent, young women would make for an uncomfortable working environment, I agree.
I just think Moskowitz isn’t going to let Debbie get the best of him, and that’s all I posted.

1811 on July 26, 2005 at 10:28 am

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