June 5, 2006, - 12:01 pm

HOprah Watch: HRH HOprah Crashes Wedding, Keeps Guests Away w/Security

Reader Lui alerts us to the following story about HOprah. Hands down, we prefer to this wedding crasher.
Her Royal Highness, Self-Anointed Moral Authority of the Universe randomly visited a wedding in Oklahoma–with boyfriend, Gayle King, in tow. Well, “visited” is a generous term.
Actually, HOprah was not an invited guest and unexpectedly barged in on the wedding to say hello and drop off a gift. But she kept all the wedding guests in attendance at least 50 feet away with body guards and security.

It’s All About HOprah

(Artwork Courtesy of the Talented David Lunde)

[Wedding guest] Judy Pattinson: “But the security guards had us about 50 feet away. Everyone was taking pictures with their cell phones, so.”

You know, can’t have the cattle a/k/a “the little people” anywhere near Queen HOprah. They might leave a smudge or get her dirty.
Leave it to the big, fat O to steal the bride’s day and limelight from the bride. (And being the HOprah fan that she is, she was apparently too dumb to notice that she just allowed Oprah to upstage her at her own wedding.) Everything’s all about Oprah. Just ask the .
To listen to the blind adulation of brain-addled guests, it’s as if the Second Coming happened, instead of the self-centered parade-rain by an overweight egotistical talk show host empress who wears no clothing:

[Wedding guest] Austin Zellner: “I’ve never seen so many people in tuxes, and nice formal dresses horde in one place so fast in my entire life.”
[Wedding guest] Heather Klein: “We were just in shock. I mean, we were truly in shock.
[Wedding guest] Ben Klein: “And then all the screaming began. One thing lead to another and here we are so.”
Oprah stayed and posed for pictures with the wedding party. But guests say she was off within ten minutes. The couple said it was a night they’d remember no matter what. Oprah’s surprise appearance just makes it a better story to tell.
Bride Bethany Francis told me Oprah said she was hitting 16 weddings, and just found the two in Tulsa on the Internet.
The footage her crews shot Saturday night should air on her show sometime in September.

Wedding Crasher’s Sequel, Starring HOprah?

As , ever since the movie, “The Wedding Crashers,” wedding crashing has become a low class trend. And far be it from HOprah to miss out on a trend, no matter how low class.
Question: Since the “Angel” of relationship death visited 16 weddings, will she provide the divorce lawyers free of charge when these marriages end (we predict, very soon)?
Having HO-prah visit your wedding is kind of like having a black cat cross your path. Not exactly a good omen.
For more on the REAL Oprah, check out OprahSucks.com.

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4 Responses

This woman is pure genius. I loathe her and her fans, but she knows her fans’ gullibility and victimitis knows no limits.
If HOprah went to many of these peoples trailers on a bulldozer and razed their trailer parks they would be asking for her autograph and taking her picture (from a very safe distance of course).

Jeff_W on June 5, 2006 at 1:20 pm

Were any of these weddings Islamic weddings? Cause the Big O loves the muslims … as long as your a Queen.

Jack on June 6, 2006 at 11:40 am

What a piece of $hit!
This blowhard exploited wedding guests just so she can videotape it for her show; show her audience how infatuated the wedding parties were with her; all for the futher glorification of the fat swine.
BTW, I wonder how many wedding cakes she devoured on her “Wedding Tour”.

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