May 3, 2010, - 5:54 pm

“Feuds I Love” of the Day: Islamic Terrorists v. Islamic “Pirates”

By Debbie Schlussel

Put this one in the “Feuds I Love  . . . And Wish Would Never End” file, along with Sunnis v. Shi’ites, the Iran-Iraq War, Donald v. Rosie, Rosie v. Elisabeth Hasseldumb,  Charles Barkley v. Barack Obama, Baba Wawa v. Starr Jones, etc.


Somali Hizbul Islam Terrorists v. Somali Pirate Islamic Terrorists

This is one in which I root for both sides, wish it would last forever, and that both sides would lose.  Somalian Islamic terrorists from the group Hizbul Islam (Arabic for “Party of Islam”)–which is allied with Al-Qaeda group Al-Shabaab–are fighting Somalian Islamic terrorist pirates.

Call it what it is: the clash of non-civilizations. Maim away, guys.

Islamic fighters have seized a pirate haven in central Somalia, said residents of the town, in what could be a bid for a slice of the lucrative business of hijacking ships on the high seas.

On Sunday, members of the group Hizbul Islam, driving pickups mounted with heavy guns, moved into the town of Haradheere. As the militants arrived, the pirates fled, piling into Toyota Camrys and Land Cruisers to escape potential clashes.

“We have to leave this town—those who behead people meaninglessly have arrived,” said Farah Ganey, a Haradheere pirate, in a telephone interview.

Hizbul Islam and al Shabaab, a separate militant group aligned with al Qaeda, have vowed to cooperate to overthrow Somalia’s weak transitional government in Mogadishu, the capital. But the militants also fight with each other over land and resources. Hizbul Islam’s takeover of the pirate town could lure retaliatory attacks by al Shabaab fighters, who had considered Haradheere their territory.

Mohamed Osman, a spokesman for Hizbul Islam, said the groups wanted to capture several more towns in the region, but he declined to comment on plans for the piracy business. “Our troops have captured Haradheere, and shall go into other nearby towns soon,” he said. “Our troops entered there without resistance—that is all I can say for now.”

The takeover on the coast reflects a scramble among militants for strategic position and access to capital ahead of a planned government offensive.  .  .  .

Civilians have been caught in the fighting. On Saturday, explosions at a mosque in Mogadishu’s crowded Bakara market killed about 35 people and injured nearly 100 more.

I don’t call it Greater Barbaria for nothin’. But, hey, since it’s not Americans or Jews killing Muslims in defense, but Muslims killing other Muslims in offense, no-one cares. Utter silence. Crickets chirping.

The capture of Haradheere is expected to put a dent in the pirates’ operation. Piracy has become a major threat to ships sailing in East African waters, and it has largely flourished independently of the militant groups that control much of south and central Somalia. Pirates cluster in towns along the coast, from where they launch skiffs to capture cargo ships for ransom. Some admit they pay about 15% of their takings to militants to allow them to operate in peace, but most have no interest in aligning themselves further with the fighters.

Al Shabaab overran a nearby town last week, unnerving the pirates. The Haradheere pirates had long paid taxes on their ransoms to al Shabaab to keep the group at bay. But last week, pirates in Haradheere said they would no longer pay those taxes, prompting a standoff between the two groups. . . .

The Islamic group is seen as more tolerant than al Shabaab, which regularly stages public beheadings and amputations without trials or appeals.

“Religion of Peace,” baby. And that’s the “Feud I Wish Would Never End” of the day, which joins the rest of the list:

Alien v. Predator–Feuds I Wish Would Never End:

Sean Vannity v. Glenn Beck . . .


Palestinian Authority/Fatah v. Al-Jazeera . . .

Charles Barkley v. President Barack Hussein Obama Barry Soetoro Idi Amin Dada . . .



William Shatner/”Capt. Kirk” v. George Takei/”Sulu” . . .


Aretha Franklin v. Tina Turner . . .


Baba Wawa v. Star Jones . . .


Dr. Death, Baba Wawa & Star Jones Swimsuit Edition
HAMAS v. Fatah . . .


Donald v. Rosie . . .



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16 Responses

They are such disgusting barbarians.

goldenmike4393 on May 3, 2010 at 6:05 pm

Too bad it isn’t the US attacking the pirates.

Little Al on May 3, 2010 at 6:25 pm

Some feuds never end. This is one of them. Good riddance!

NormanF on May 3, 2010 at 6:46 pm

Sometimes, there’s a good reason to supply one side, or both with the ammo to take each other out.

P. Aaron on May 3, 2010 at 6:56 pm

That’s possibly the BEST photo of Baba Wawa out there!!

T. Y. on May 3, 2010 at 7:02 pm

I think I’m rooting for the pirates because at least they are committing crimes for money, as opposed to the other lunatics killing in the name of religion. But, yeah it’s always good if both of your enemies are fighting each other.

dougx on May 3, 2010 at 7:05 pm

‘Kramer VS. Kramer’

izlam on May 3, 2010 at 8:59 pm

Trump combs over his asshairs.

demonneant on May 3, 2010 at 9:07 pm

“We have to leave this town—those who behead people meaninglessly have arrived . . .”

LOL – as if there’s a “meaningful” reason to behead people!

Graty Slapchop on May 3, 2010 at 10:03 pm

Another excellent post, Debbie. I myself would like to see the Fatah vs. Hamas feud to resume, with the battlefield preferrably in Gaza.

JeffE on May 3, 2010 at 10:10 pm

This has got to be my favorite feud as well. Any time muzzies are killing each other means they aren’t killing the good guys. We should find more ways to get them to hate and kill each other.

Jarhead on May 3, 2010 at 10:39 pm

Usually Deb’s posts leave me a bit angry or depressed, but now finally some light hearted news. A little something to top off the day. Makes me want to crack open a beer, sit back and watch…too bad there’s no video…bummer 🙁
Let’s all just hope some misguided diplomat doesn’t try to make peace between them and ruin everything.

theShadow on May 4, 2010 at 12:22 am

Can’t we all just get along…while the kaffirs are asleep. Seriously, my goat has shrapnel and his lovemaking is no more fun.

Irate Pirate on May 4, 2010 at 9:09 am

It is an attempt to remove the middleman. The piracy will of course continue, unless some sort of disguised tribute is given.

Worry01 on May 4, 2010 at 1:23 pm

Yeah Debbie!!! Wish this will never end – agree w/ Jarhead above. Add to the above list the Taliban vs Pakistan, Ikhwan vs Egypt…

Infidel Pride on May 5, 2010 at 7:48 am

As the militants arrived, the pirates fled

jersey on May 26, 2010 at 3:30 am

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