August 29, 2005, - 12:41 pm

Interesting New Palestinian Names for HAMASastan Settlements

By Debbie Schlussel
For someone who claims (and we all know he’s lying) that he’s against terrorism and opposes HAMAS, Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas sure isn’t acting like it. In the first official acts following the Gaza giveaway, Abbas’ cabinet secretary general, Samir Huleileh, announced that the PA is discussing new names for the evacuated Jewish settlements and surrounding infrastructure.
Among the proposed names are Yasser Arafat, and HAMAS founder and spiritual leader Sheikh Ahmed Yassin. In the past, Abbas–in his first act as then-Palestinian Prime Minister–named a town square in Ramallah, “Al Alinah Amani Square,” after a homicide bomber in Iraq who murdered American soldiers.
Other names used will be those of martyrs and important events and figures in “Palestinian history.”
Here are some other names I propose for the newly acquired areas of HAMASastan:
* 72 Dark-Eyed Virgins Strip Club (Concubine Rental Available; See for details)
* Uday & Qusay Memorial Bathhouse and Olympic Training Center
* /Gloria Steinem/Christianne Amanpour Exploding the Glass Ceiling Institute for the Study and Advancement of Female Martyrs
* Glamour Shots Last Photo Studio for Martyrs, located next to the Hanan Ashrawi Beauty Salon and Plastic Surgery Center
* School for Professional Car Thieves, Criminals, and Aspiring Congressmen
* Black September Olympic Stadium
* & Useful Idiots Outhouse
* / ICE Double Agent Global
* / Evil Zionist Conspiracy Theory Movie House (Morgan Spurlock Supersized Islamist BS Theater available for overflow)
* “No Such thing as Islamic Terrorism” Palestinian Law Enforcement Training center
* School of Jihad Journalism (Gaza and Dearborn Bureaus)
* HAMAS Horse Farm and Love Center
* Fatah Fake Fatwas against Terrorism Forgery Clinic
* (new flavors: Fatwa Chocolate Chip; Destroy America Double Fudge; Sorbet; Throwing Rocks Rocky Road; High-Fat Explode Your Belt Vanilla; Multiple-Wives Rainbow Sherbet; Kill the Jews Crunch; Yasser Swiss Chocolate Bank Account; Pistachio Jihad; Concubine Cherry; Shaheed Allah Moose Tracks; Rafah Weapons Tunnels Rum Raisin; Karine A Karamel Kreme)
Additions welcome in the comments section . . . .

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13 Responses

Robbins-Penn school for blind, dumb and politicaly retarded.
Franken-Garafalo clnic for the insane (Specializing in Career Suicide)

Uncle Tim on August 29, 2005 at 7:02 pm

Maybe the Palestinians can invite Patrick Buchanan for the ribbon cutting ceremony.

Blayne on August 29, 2005 at 7:10 pm

What do you expect? We put these rulers in. Heck, even Prescott Bush support Uncle Adolph during the war, so you know, the members of Skull and Bones (Yes, Kerry too) would stop at nothing to make $$$. Debbie my love, your posts are important but when our leaders lie to us, yes both the Neo Cons and Neo Libs, we are the ones who end up dead. It’s a sad day when both the good Democrats and good Republicans hook up and are ready for a war that may end up killing us. Here’s a question, and this is to everyone here who posts. We all know that Debbie is doing a great job and is exposing both sides of the political party, unlike that loud-mouth ape Ann Coulter. Yet did you know that America’s parks are not owned by us but by the U.N.? Here is a link to the official U.N. site
Click to USA and see the lands the U.N. owns. If our current leadership: Yes both Democrats and Republicans love our country, would we allow the U.N. to control our parks? So what I’m trying to say is, terrorism knows no political preference, Darrell Issa supports terrorists? What a sick bastard, wearing the name of the Republican party. Do we need a change? Yes we do.

KOAJaps on August 29, 2005 at 8:23 pm

I think the Ricky Martin Bathhouse would be more appropriate.
How about the University of Hollywood at Palestine? Samples from the class schedule:
“Journalism for Dummies”, taught by Iranian journalist Sean “I’m not a real journalist but I stayed in a Holiday Inn last night” Penn.
“Dan Rather, Peter Arnett, and the rest of the Mainstream Media — Why They are Too Right Wing for Us”, taught by Michael Moore and Alec Baldwin.
“How to Love the Poor, Homeless, and Downtrodden Without Contributing YOUR Money”, rotating professors include Susan Sarandon, Martin Sheen, and any other pinko celeb willing to leave their one of their mansions for the day.
“How to Get Hired When You are a Washed Up Pinko Former Rock Star”, taught by Bruce Springsteen, Madonna, Rolling Stones, John Melloncramp, and Joan Baez.

The_Man on August 29, 2005 at 9:47 pm

…The Rachel Corrie Bulldozer Corporation,the Alan(Hans Gruber in ‘Die Hard’)Rickman Theatre for his backing of the London stage hit ‘My Name is Rachel Corrie’, Adam (I’m proud of doing the wild thang with Arafat)Shapiro Tours…also regarding Abbas-“Gaza today,Jerusalem and the West Bank tomorrow”( Media Center).

jaywilton on August 30, 2005 at 10:07 am

Netanyahu: Jerusalem is under siege

In his announcement for candidacy for prime minister yesterday, Benjamin Netanyahu rightfully argued that Ariel Sharon has caved in to American pressure by not building the E-1 area meant to help join Ma’aleh Adumim with Jerusalem

Tel-Chai Nation on August 31, 2005 at 2:44 pm

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