January 19, 2007, - 9:47 am

Driving Miss Julie: ICE Chieftess Dishonors MLK Day; The Myers’ Concert Rider–Must Have Diet Coke

By Debbie Schlussel
The greater Detroit area is the major northern border crossing point. Combining traffic in and out of Canada at the Ambassador Bridge, the Detroit-Windsor Tunnel, and the bridge crossing near Port Huron, Michigan/Sarnia, Canada, there is more international traffic than at any border point in the United States per day.
Given that and the fact that this international traffic includes smuggled drugs, illegal aliens, and assorted other maladies, you’d think the head of Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) would have visited long ago. But you would be wrong.
On Monday, Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, after more than a year on the job, ICE Chieftess Julie L. Myers a/k/a “The ICE Princess” made her very first visit to Detroit. We contrast this to her predecessors Michael Garcia and Asa Hutchinson (who didn’t hold the same job title, but oversaw ICE in his responsibilities) who were frequently in Detroit.


“Driving Miss Julie” artwork by David Lunde

As is apparently Princess Myers’ usual tactic, the event was not really planned in advance, and Michigan ICE agents were suddenly called on a federal holiday and ordered to show up to work. After all, The ICE Princess needs a retinue to show us all how important she is. Agents had to work on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, not to round up illegal aliens or smuggled drugs, but TO BE IN JULIE MYERS’ MINI-MOTORCADE!!!!
And agents were told that Julie Myers’ hotel room refrigerator must be stocked with Diet Coke. An agent was called in on MLK Day to get Myers Diet Coke. Forget Van Halen’s legendary concert rider for no green (correction/update: it was brown, not green) M&Ms in their dressing room. We know who the real rock star is. Our money meant for enforcing federal immigration laws is being spent on overtime for agents to get Diet Coke for The ICE Princess. Agents had to spend money out of their own pocket for Myers’ hotel fridge to be stocked. Making between $140,000 and $200,000, she apparently cannot afford her own soda and can’t be bothered to lift a finger to go down the hall to the Coke machine and guy one herself.

“Julie Myers’ Diet Coke Rider” artwork by David Lunde

The motorcade, the Diet Coke for this incompetent, unqualified, self-important Veruca Salt–it all reminds us of Will Ferrell’s Ron Burgundy in “Anchorman” telling people–who have no idea of his identity and don’t care–how important he is:

I’m kind of a big deal.

Our favorite part of the whole event is that, on Tuesday, our favorite ICE Special Agent in Charge, Brian Moskowitz a/k/a “Abu Moskowitz,” got to play the chauffeur in “Driving Miss Julie” for the day. Imagine: You’re a high-ranking federal agent in charge of agents investigating immigration and customs law violations in two Midwestern states. And yet, despite all that, you are now reduced to Morgan Freeman’s role driving Miss Julie–your incompetent, unqualified boss-ette with connections. Now, Abu Moskowitz knows how it feels when his agents are called to chauffeur him home after he gets drunk at a party in Canada or must chauffeur one of his Assistant Special Agents in Charge, John Batastelli (sp?), and his family to the airport for family trips.
Glad our tax money is being spent so wisely on these important immigration enforcement tasks.
While many companies are open for business on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, all government agencies are closed. Driving Miss Julie in an unnecessary motorcade and getting her Diet Coke are hardly reasons call agents in from a day off and disrespect the memory of Dr. King and the observance by the many Black agents in ICE.
While we are highly opposed to quotas and affirmative action, we have to give the Democratic leadership in Congress “their kind of info” on The ICE Princess. And it bears noting that Ms. Myers not only disrespected MLK Day, she doesn’t promote any Black male agents to leadership positions, only her preferred group–women. The only Black employee in leadership is a woman in charge of–what else?–“equal employment opportunity.”
Just an insight into a day in the life of the incompetent Julie Myers, self-anointed rock star. She’s kind of a big deal.

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5 Responses

Wow. It must be nice to be so special. Next time I’m in a hotel room looking for change or a single to walk down the hall to the vending machine with I’ll remember to close my eyes and wish I was Julie Myers.

MarySJ on January 19, 2007 at 10:58 am

Reason#4852 not to hire failures in business or politics(James Baker III) Are we really that different from France? They say we deserve the government we elect but none of these scumbags were elected except for of course the head idiot, GW Bush. I’ve said it for the first time. I sure hopr Tancredo runs for the Presidency with Newt as the VP or perhaps vice versa.

Islamsnotforme on January 19, 2007 at 7:13 pm

Let’s not compare David Lee Roth and Julie Myers. They were not making equivalent demands. Roth delivered a stage show at each stadium and the Brown M&M’s contract clause was a test for the technical set up of the show facilities.
(From http://www.snopes.com/music/artists/vanhalen.htm)
David Lee Roth Explaind the reason for the no Brown M&Ms clause in the contract:
. . . Van Halen was the first band to take huge productions into tertiary, third-level markets. We’d pull up with nine eighteen-wheeler trucks, full of gear, where the standard was three trucks, max. And there were many, many technical errors Ôø? whether it was the girders couldn’t support the weight, or the flooring would sink in, or the doors weren’t big enough to move the gear through.
The contract rider read like a version of the Chinese Yellow Pages because there was so much equipment, and so many human beings to make it function. So just as a little test, in the technical aspect of the rider, it would say “Article 148: There will be fifteen amperage voltage sockets at twenty-foot spaces, evenly, providing nineteen amperes . . .” This kind of thing. And article number 126, in the middle of nowhere, was: “There will be no brown M&M’s in the backstage area, upon pain of forfeiture of the show, with full compensation.”
So, when I would walk backstage, if I saw a brown M&M in that bowl . . . well, line-check the entire production. Guaranteed you’re going to arrive at a technical error. They didn’t read the contract. Guaranteed you’d run into a problem. Sometimes it would threaten to just destroy the whole show. Something like, literally, life-threatening.

EddNH on January 19, 2007 at 7:18 pm

Here is Julie’s contact info, I suggest everyone let her know we are watching… also, if you haven’t already done so, please, contact your Representatives in Congress and let them know that we don’t appreciate this waste of OUR money!!
Ms. Julie Pearson
ICE Office of Acquisition Management
425 I Street, NW, Room 2208
Washington, DC 20536
Telephone: (202) 616-8399
Fax: (202) 305-3038

mtowndave on March 26, 2008 at 7:03 am

Opps.. my bad.. wrong Julie, sorry.
Hey,, its 6am and I have only have 1 cup of coffee…. still contact yoru Congressman..

mtowndave on March 26, 2008 at 7:06 am

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