November 12, 2007, - 9:52 am

Alhamdillullah [Praise Allah]!: Muslims to Invent Car; Schlussel Suggested Name: YUGO

By Debbie Schlussel
Mazel Tov to the Muslims for coming up with an invention of something new and unique: a car. I don’t know how I got to those movie screenings, walking every day. But now, thank G-d, er . . . Allah, Muslims have come to the rescue and brought me into the 20th Century.
Oh, and it’s not just any old car. It’s a Muslim car. Yes, that means it is not made of pork, unlike our cars from Ford and GM. And no pigskin leather seating. That just wouldn’t be halal.
But never fear. The car will, indeed, feature special Islamic characteristics, like special compartments for a Koran or a hijab (Islamic woman’s headscarf). Hmmm . . . If it’s a Muslim car, why isn’t she covering her hair with that scarf, instead of stuffing it into a compartment when she’s out of view of her honor-killing father, brothers, and hubby/owner. Does it come with special homicide bombing compartments, too? Special bonus: a complimentary copy of the “Protocols of the Elders of Zion” comes with each purchase.


Civilization?: New Islamic Car to Replace Old Islamic Car

Yes, this is real–no joke. More details from the French Press Agency (AFP):

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia (Agence France-Presse) – Malaysia, Iran and Turkey plan to build an “Islamic car” fitted with a compass to find the direction of Mecca and a compartment to hold a Koran, the Malaysian state news agency said.
Malaysian automaker Proton’s managing director, Syed Zainal Abidin Syed Mohamed Tahir, said during a visit to Tehran that the vehicle would be aimed at the global export market.
“We will identify a car that we can develop to be produced in Malaysia, Iran or Turkey,” he told the Bernama agency in a weekend report.
“The car will have all the Islamic features and should be meant for export purposes,” he said, adding that it would feature a compartment for holding prayer scarves and the Muslim holy book, the Koran.
Mr. Syed Zainal said the initiative for the vehicle had come from the Iranians. “What they want to do is to call that an Islamic car,” he said, giving no further details.
Proton announced last week that it had won an order to supply 5,000 units of its compact Waja model to be used as taxis in Tehran as part of a $200 million program to renew public transportation in the city.
Proton has been trying to kick-start its export market as it attempts to halt a sharp decline in domestic market share and stem a series of losses — attributed to a lack of new models and a reputation for poor quality.
It is in negotiations with German auto giant Volkswagen over an alliance that it hopes will turn its fortunes around.

Options–such as IEDs and GPS directions to Sears Tower, Vegas, nearest bridge, Disneyland, or other nearest potential infidel target–extra.
Congrats, Muslims for looking into inventing the car. I hear in about a century, you will join Al Gore’s great-grandson, Mohammed Al-Gore, and invent the Internet. Cellphones, two centuries from now, complete with compartments for beheading equipment.
I can’t wait!

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9 Responses

I’m afraid Toyota beat them to the market with thier small pickup trucks. Perfect for transporting ‘Islamic’ missles, while still seating 10 mujahideen in the bed! A top seller in Afganistan.

dm60462 on November 12, 2007 at 10:32 am

As long as we have plenty of these,
And these,
For these,
The primitive muslim ideology can keep trying to forge its way out of the seventh century. It was stopped by Charles Martel in 732 at the Battle of Tours, and will be again.
They will be defeated.

West Dearbornistan on November 12, 2007 at 10:44 am

Kudos to those guys! I bet in the next few weeks they’ll announce in-door plumbing.
I just wish they would invent an Islamic Shower that would include more than just “foot washing”. Peee Ewwwww

RC Flyer on November 12, 2007 at 10:47 am

I already have a compartment for my Qur’an, it’s called the trunk. And I use my old boy scout compass to find the direction to mecca. Ain’t I the sly muslim. I r a genus!

TheOmegaMan on November 12, 2007 at 11:16 am

So will the new “Moose-Mobile” come in Sunni and Shia models? I’m sure the bombing options will be state of the art….

Chiefscotty24 on November 12, 2007 at 11:24 am

OK, go ahead and produce a car, you 7th century dwellers. Muslims are incapable of producing anything of value, at this time. Now, if they decide to become civilized, they MAY be able to write, discover, invent, etc. But I’m not holding my breath.
Why don’t they just go back to their donkeys (and we know what they do to donkeys) and carts and be done with it. Sorry, donkeys.
I can’t get over their child-like mental functioning. Can the trillion of them all be suffering from some mass psychosis?

lexi on November 12, 2007 at 12:51 pm

I am hereby donating my creative expertrise for great model names to ensure a successful launch of the muslim-car marketing campaign.
Model names:
the Jihad (real popular with the target market–and market targets!)
(options include–sharpnel loader and explosive detonator with remote control)
the K-Ran or Q-ran (has koranic text compartments and plays the groaning calls to islamic prayer all day. Includes a rack for hijabs for all passengers which can come in handy on spontaneous suicide runs–also comes with the shrapnel loader–detonator extra)
The Meccan–has the Saudi Flag paint job with machete sword logo. Optional rear Camel dock and trailer. A real hit with the sheiks.
The B-Head–this is the favorite of the El Queda types–comes with a variety of cutlery for different types of amputations and decapitations–one for every occasion. Comes with multi-head basket for quick disposal, video camera for quick internet access to upload the videos with allahu-akbar logo stamp.

BB on November 12, 2007 at 1:09 pm

Muslims are incapable of designing a vehicle because they are too busy bending over 5 times a day to the moon god.
How any intelligent person can fall for Islam is beyond me.

ScottyDog on November 12, 2007 at 8:17 pm

We know you are afraid of our progress. Your end is near, no more western hegemony and oppression and massacres. We will surpass you and then enslave all of you.

Fuck infidels on March 9, 2010 at 9:50 pm

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