April 28, 2011, - 12:08 pm

Praise allah, Ultimate Must-Have Royal Wedding Accessory Now Available

By Debbie Schlussel

Like many of you, I was sick of tomorrow’s Royal Wedding the minute the engagement was announced.  So, two people with bad teeth–one an inbred major British welfare queen named William and the other about to join him in major British welfare queen status via holy matrimony–are getting married.  Big whoop. Overkill to the nth. Enough already. And while there are so many Royal Wedding souvenirs, including condoms, there is one necessary accessory that is sorely missing, especially given that the most popular boy’s name in the UK is Mohammed, and the place was the breeding ground of the Shoe Bomber, the UndieBomber, Captain Hook (Abu Hamza Al-Masri), the Tube bombers, the Scotland Airport bombers, and a whole lotta other past, present, and future Islamic terrorists.

After all, the UK’s Muslims gotta celebrate the Royal Wedding in style, as they are British welfare queens as much as William is and Kate will soon be.  So I designed and asked our friend, Jedi Master of PhotoShop, David Lunde of Lundesigns, to put together this ultimate in British Royal Wedding accessories . . . the Royal Weeding Jihadist Keffiyeh/Islamic Scarf of Death, perfect for your next beheading event, stoning occasion martyrdom video, or IED-in-Your-Pants-on-a-Plane party.  Unfortunately, it’s not a limited edition, as the jihadist Muslim “activities” are in infinite and endless supply. A very Royal alhamdillulllah [Praise allah] to Will and Kate!

Comes in several colors and styles, including Bus-Bombing Black:

Check Out Our Other Halal Varieties . . .

Stoning Black and Blue (with Red Blood Spatter accents):

Beheading Video Bloody Black:

Also available in Martyrdom Maroon.

Artwork by David Lunde/Lundesigns, Design by Debbie Schlussel. All Rights Reserved. Available at a Paki or Syrian Training Camp Near You. Also sold at Tony & Cherie Blair Dhimmi Discount Jihad Hut. Or Call 1-800-ROYALLAHU-FUBAR. Shipping and Handling for Dead Bodies, Extra. IEDs Sold Separately.

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27 Responses

Perhaps crude shaving instruments. Aren’t Muslims, men and and women, required to remove all of their body hair below the neck (including pubic hair)?

Robroy560 on April 28, 2011 at 12:16 pm

No way. Have you forgot that British flag starts to ‘insult’? 😉
There is a cross in it. It is soooo offensive 😛

gr77 on April 28, 2011 at 12:39 pm

    gr77 – The British flag has THREE crosses on it, not one. The one that’s causing the problem is the English one, which only shows the cross of St. George – or The Crusaders to people who have an issue with it.

    Regardless, it will NOT be changed. And I shall continue to display both proudly whenever the occasion calls for it.

    Alison on April 28, 2011 at 5:17 pm


Thanks for the humorous contribution.

What’s the difference between a Muslim, a Christian, a Jew, a Hindu, a Sikh, a Ba’hai, a Buddhist, a Zoroastrian, a Jain, a Yogi, or a Devotee of a Guru?

The Muslim is a member of THE Religion of Peace, Love, Tolerance, Mercy, Compassion, Understanding, etc.

William on April 28, 2011 at 1:16 pm

This is more to the point than you might think.

Based on an article I just read at “The Commentator” Web site, the Syrian government has made large contributions to St. Andrews. St. Andrews is the University where the two met.

David Makowsky on April 28, 2011 at 1:22 pm

How much longer will Britain continue to exist before it becomes a full fledged Islamic state, run under Sharia Law, and all the rest that Islamic Caliphates stand for?

When that occurs, will Prince William and his wife, Kate Middleton, become converts, and follow Islam devoutly, or will they become Dhimmies and pay the Jizyah, the Religious tax, and live under the rule of Islam, or, will they be executed?

If they are executed, will it be by beheading, stoning, flogging, burning, or other?

We shall see.

To a once great nation, culture, and history, soon to be totally dominated by the Religion of Peace, Love, Mercy, Compassion, Tolerance, and Understanding …

William on April 28, 2011 at 1:30 pm

Debbie the British royal family hates Israel and finds Jews distasteful, but the women do eventually seek out Jewish divorce attorneys and I have high hopes for Waity Katey on that front. BTW I have some great Yiddishkeit ideas how you and I can protest the royal shanda taking place tomorrow.

A1 on April 28, 2011 at 1:59 pm

Very bad taste.

OffendedBrit on April 28, 2011 at 2:02 pm

Very nice pictures, David!

Mike on April 28, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Muzzies can now help all British little girls aspiring to be the next Diane or Kate to be a real live, er-uh I mean dead, Princess DIE.

CornCoLeo on April 28, 2011 at 4:59 pm

William is a proud member – along with his brother – of the British Armed forces. He is NOT a welfare queen, thank you very much. Yes, they benefit from a civil list, but so what? It’s not the US’s “problem” after all, is it?

I’ve been heartened over the past few days by the amount of bunting I’ve seen, along with local schools having Wedding parties and houses decorated with the Union Flag. I also know of many street parties that will be taking place tomorrow. I know it means nothing to you – and that’s fair enough, I wouldn’t expect it to – but I’m DAMN proud of it, and of my own country, warts and all.

Alison on April 28, 2011 at 5:10 pm

Deb, did you buy the royal chador? It is so exquisite, to quote a gay friend. Head to toe, there is a big picture of Kate and Billy (that’s what his friends call him) right on the front of the chador, but in keeping with “orthodox” Islam, their faces have been obliterated, because such a picture is not allowed in Islam.

Jonathan E. Grant on April 28, 2011 at 6:22 pm

Think of it as a last horrah before the nation is swollowed up by Islam, like the Olympics.

sg on April 28, 2011 at 7:43 pm

Do you really think this shit is funny?
Do you really think that we are being swallowed up by Islam?
Wow, this proves just how much you know about foreign affairs, doesn’t it.
Sure, don’t give a crap about the wedding, you’re not British, you don’t have a monarchy and so don’t understand the importance of this day to the British – but don’t start having a rip about the Muslims in the country.
Again, you’re writing about things that you clearly know nothing about, which appears to be what you do best. Just type shit and piss people off.


Gregg on April 28, 2011 at 8:52 pm

    The Brits and Muslims have one thing in common. Neither one wants to join the 21’st Century. If England is a Monarchy, shouldn’t the King or Queen be actually running the country instead of playing celebrity poser. Yeah it’s your country and you have the right to do what you want but why do WE have to be swamped with all this outdated BS? BTW, for a nation that wants to be left alone you sure made it a habit of sticking your noses in everyone elses affairs.
    Oh, and why are the Imans in England warning Muslims to stay clear of the Royal Wedding? Something we should know?…ah, but of course, there is no Muslim problem.
    Right mate, Good Luck!
    One more thing, anyone else notice how cute little prince willie is aging to look more and more like his father? One day he’ll wake to see a pair of Obama ears staring at him in the mirror.

    theShadow on April 29, 2011 at 12:45 am

      Shadow – The reason the monarch doesn’t fully run the country is because of a tiny part of our history called the Civil War. It’s for the same reason that the army is the British Army and not the Royal Army. Our monarch is constitutional and does have rights.

      But again, I have no idea why this concept bothers you so much, since it hardly concerns you after all. It’s not OUR fault as a nation, nor that of the Royal Family, if there’s some overkill with the coverage in the US. If you need to apportion “blame”, then look to your own TV companies.

      Oh, and I’m fully integrated into the 21st century, thank you very much. You think we’re the only monarchy in existence? FAR from it.

      You’ve just proved the whole point about Muslims in the UK as well. After all, if we’d all rolled over and presented our arses to Mecca, would there be any need for the imams to tell their faithful to stay away? Security measures are incredibly tight for events such as these due to terrorism – originally that brought to our shores in the modern era by the US-funded IRA. We ARE fighting every threat to our nationality and identity just as much as we are able – I’m talking about the man and woman on the street, not what half of the morons in charge are spouting publicly.

      I have no problem with people calling the UK when it’s justified – after all, I’ve been brought up with a love of my country, but not blinded by any indoctrination of exceptionalism. I have never been, am not now, and never will be, cajoled or bullied into any set of beliefs in which I have no faith, and yes, that includes Islam. My problem lies in gratuitous and malicious sniping which is either unnecessary or downright untrue. I suspect that is the reason for Gregg’s reply as well. I mean, you’ve got pretty much everything there even down to the state of their sodding teeth. Stereotypical, much?

      Alison on April 29, 2011 at 4:08 am

You are simply hilarious! “Comes in several colors and styles, including Bus-Bombing Black”. LOL, 1st time today, so thanks, DEbbie. Seriously, I will never understand why so many women are transfixed by this baloney. There are ALOT of them…so dumb. I am irritated that so called NEWS stations have wasted so much time on this crap.

NancyB on April 28, 2011 at 9:23 pm

Congratulations, you’re a comedian. Good for you.

Peter on April 28, 2011 at 9:26 pm

People like pageantry, Debbie, and royal weddings have a lot of pageantry.

You’re dead right about the “inbred.” I’ve been saying for years that the British aristocracy and the Royal Family need some fresh fish in their gene pool.

Off topic, but for those of you who live in the Southeastern United States, you and your families are in my thoughts and prayers.

Miranda Rose Smith on April 29, 2011 at 4:52 am

On a different tack… I’ve been following on the lead-up to the Royal Wedding. I need my sleep but as a member of humanity, to Bill and Kate, “Mazel Tov”.


The Reverend Jacques on April 29, 2011 at 5:05 am

Why do people insist on conflating England to mean the UK?

For the people uneducated, the monarchy is Britain’s monarchy. It is representative of all nations within the UK.A British person is someone who lives in the UK and is therefore British.

The UK is made up of 4 nations : Scotland, England, Wales and Northern Ireland.

Why can’t Americans and English people grasp this easy concept?

For the record, I’m no fan of the monarchy — as long as institutions like it exist, we will always have a society built on inequality as we are clearly entertaining the Orwellian notion of “some are more equal than others”.

Barry on April 29, 2011 at 7:57 am


the IRA only exist because the British army, backed by the Protestant establishment, hated Catholic Ireland because the Irish had the good sense to tell the English to go f*ck themselves.

It’s the law of action and reaction at play — if you provoke someone they will react! When the British army was killing innocent Irish Catholics, why shouldn’t they fight back? The real terrorists were the British army and the establishment who backed them.

Please tell me when Ireland occupied England again and killed innocent English people with their soldiers? Oh, that never happened………….

Barry on April 29, 2011 at 12:39 pm

    Barry – I am fully aware of the origins of the IRA. As I said, I haven’t been indoctrinated by the concept of exceptionalism. The treatment of the Irish by the English (as opposed to the more general British) was beyond criminal for far too long a period of time.

    However, they WERE funded by the US to a large degree and while this didn’t cause the terrorism, it certainly helped to prolong hostilities beyond a time when, otherwise, discussion and agreement could have been made, saving lives on both sides of the divide. That is the point I was making in response to all the examples of Muslim-only attacks made. The truth remains that we WERE introduced to domestic terrorism in modern times by the activities of the IRA.

    Many Irishmen (along with my maternal grandfather, who died in WWII) were actually proud members of the BRITISH army, going a long way back into history, pre-Napoleonic wars, so your final paragraph really doesn’t work. Your point, however, IS taken and accepted. My argument merely covered a different aspect.

    Alison on April 29, 2011 at 1:24 pm


I respect your answer Alison.

My point in the last sentence I made in my prior post was that we have to look at the cause of issues — I think we can both agree that Britain and in particular England has treated Ireland worse than Ireland has treated Britain and England.

Regarding Islamic terrorism, the Western world’s appeasement policy towards Islam only encourages it to grow worse in stature.If you give people an inch, they do indeed take a mile such is human nature!

To defeat the evil that is Islamic terror, we must first recognize it as such — evil and bad for our culture. But that recognition will only happen I feel when society reaches the breaking point where it refuses to accept it anymore and forces our government to take action!

Barry on April 29, 2011 at 5:58 pm

I’m glad people like Alison are responding. There is nothing wrong with the English showing their pride over a magnificent occasion. As a Yank, I am amazed how so many of my fellow countrymen can’t understand the significance of a grand royal wedding.

Seek on April 29, 2011 at 7:07 pm

@Alison – My intent was just to point out a weakness in that photoshop joke. Yes, you’re right about ammount of crosses… but it just makes it a much more ‘offensive’ 😉
Flag won’t be changed? I’m not so sure.

gr77 on April 29, 2011 at 8:38 pm

It’s the law of action and reaction at play — if you provoke someone they will react! When the British army was killing innocent Irish Catholics, why shouldn’t they fight back? The real terrorists were the British army and the establishment who backed them.

Well, Barry, I suppose you also think the Israeli Armed Forces are also terrorists for killing so-called ‘innocent’ Palestinian civilians, and the Islraelis striking back is nothiong to do with the fact that Israel gets continually shelled by Paleonazis and spend one fifth of theuir time humnkering in bomb shelters. It seems you are firmly on the side of evil. Was 9/11 due to the US meddling in the affairs of Muslim countries? Of course not. But US donors did help the IRA to kill scores of British citizens in terrorist atrocities, then finally discovered what it was like to be on the receiving end of the mother of terrorist atrocities. It’s not very nice, is it? Terrorists have to be eliminated, along with those who give them support. 9/11 should have taught the US that. But still the US prevents the Israelis from destroying Hamas and Hezbollah and have spent 40-plus years hampering the Israelis. We already know the script for the next time Hezbollah shells Israel. Its a repeat of 2006.

SpiritOf1683 on May 1, 2011 at 3:09 am

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