July 13, 2011, - 7:23 pm

Well, If Muslims Can Do It, Why Not This Guy?

By Debbie Schlussel

Muslims have long insisted on posing for driver’s licenses wearing all sorts of inappropriate religious headgear that makes it impossible to identify them and renders the photo on the ID useless.  And since they get away with this in many instances, then I see no reason for objection to what Niko Alm wore for his Austrian driver’s license.  He is, after all, a pastafarian–you know, a member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.  Actually, he’s really an atheist and while he was trying to unfairly mock Christians and Christianity (and I condemn him for that), he unwittingly made a wonderful point about those women who wear hijabs and full-ninja face veils a/k/a niqabs on their driver’s licenses.  Love it.


. . . THAN THIS . . .

An Austrian atheist has won the right to be shown on his driving-licence photo wearing a pasta strainer as “religious headgear”.

Niko Alm first applied for the licence three years ago after reading that headgear was allowed in official pictures only for confessional reasons.

Mr Alm said the sieve was a requirement of his religion, pastafarianism.

The Austrian authorities required him to obtain a doctor’s certificate that he was “psychologically fit” to drive.

The idea came into Mr Alm’s noodle three years ago as a way of making a serious, if ironic, point.

A self-confessed atheist, Mr Alm says he belongs to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, a light-hearted faith whose members call themselves pastafarians.

A medical interview established the self-styled ‘pastafarian’ was mentally fit to drive. . . .

Mr Alm’s pastafarian-style application for a driving licence was a response to the Austrian recognition of confessional headgear in official photographs.

The licence took three years to come through and, according to Mr Alm, he was asked to submit to a medical interview to check on his mental fitness to drive but – straining credulity – his efforts have finally paid off.

It is the police who issue driving licences in Austria, and they have duly issued a laminated card showing Mr Alm in his unorthodox item of religious headgear.

What’s good for the Muslims is good for the Pastafarians. Just Please, no Pasta IEDs, hijackings, mass murders, massacres at Fort Hood, attempted Times Square and Undie Bombs, endless attempts to destroy the Western way of life, etc.

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30 Responses

Coming In Hot
Makin’ Pasta Hot, Hot, Hot
Coming in Sauce hot, hot, hot
It’s a DMV shot, shot, shot…
I just clean up me strainer
I just cook me pasta,
I make the Marinara,
Cause I’m gonna wear my Colander….

Thank you, Peter Tosh.

Occam's Tool on July 13, 2011 at 8:06 pm

I hope you are not suggesting that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a myth. Pastafarians could throw meatballs at you for such blasphemy. Expect to receive angry letters written on the backs of Chef Boyardee labels.

I think it’s fair to mock the fanaticism of some christians. Or fanatics of any religious group. The more you appease such people, they worse they get…that goes for groups like PETA, too (which is almost a religion) and proselytizing Vegans.

The Spaghetti Incident on July 13, 2011 at 9:14 pm

As a member of the Imustseethefaceofwomen sect, I find the burqa is haram. Soon I will go on jihad to eliminate this unIslamic practice.

Tanstaafl on July 13, 2011 at 9:23 pm


if you’re going to cater and surrender
to the pigs of islam

you must cater to every
preposterous imitator also

alm is actually a patriot
for shoving this
in their face
as a result of their
spineless capitulation
to islam

prestigio on July 13, 2011 at 9:33 pm

I hope more of Austria’s population follow this guy’s lead and show up at the DMV wearing rabbit ears, clown noses, and fake arrows through their heads. This is what comes from allowing one religious group to set a ridiculous precedent.

Irving on July 13, 2011 at 9:50 pm

Sometimes people have to do the absurd to bring attention to the even more absurd. Many years ago a fellow with a very non-descript name like Wilson (no offense to the Wilsons out there) legally changed his name to something like Rodriguez to take advantage of affirmative set-asides to those with “Spanish surnames”.

Raymond in DC on July 13, 2011 at 10:33 pm

    even better
    back in the 60’s
    there was a czech immigrant family
    who wanted to change their name from
    something like kapocznik to cabot

    the high honorable cabots of
    massachusetts sued to prevent it
    they lost

    there is apparently no property right
    in your own name

    there even is a case regarding
    ed sullivan

    prestigio on July 13, 2011 at 10:42 pm

Honestly, I’m so sick of this kind of stupidity. He needs a good old fashioned punch in the face.

samurai on July 13, 2011 at 11:52 pm

Don’t laugh, this is how Kwanzaa got started.

F.D.R. in Hell on July 14, 2011 at 12:21 am

Debbie must have missed this in her research for this story, but that “New Jersey driver’s license” was exposed as a Photoshop fraud quite a while ago. If you do a simple Google Images search for an actual New Jersey driver’s license from that time frame, you’ll see that the “Khomeini” license is a clear fake.

Dave H. on July 14, 2011 at 1:49 am

    Debbie, before you write an article about what you think are “facts” you need to do your homework a bit better! That driver’s license is a fake and with a bit more research you could have discovered that on your own..

    Another lack of research from your end is that the Koran never talks about wearing a Burka/Niqab. Its a cultural thing that people in countries like Afghistan wear. So it has NOTHING to do with muslims and the way you present yourself you should actually know that already

    Jimmie van Dyck on July 14, 2011 at 5:54 am

      Why do you guys think that DS is NOT privy that the Muslima license is a fake?

      C’mon. She is smarter than that and she always uses humour in some of her art she posts.

      Really. Don’t be so bloody silly. 😐

      S: Spot on. Am well aware it’s a fake. But they are constantly fighting to have their hijabs and niqabs on for the licenses, as is the point of the piece. DS

      Skunky on July 14, 2011 at 11:53 am

      Jimmy, it is a cultural thing you find in places as far apart as indonesia and Nigeria. What do those two countries have in common my friend with the fake name? 🙂

      You really do need to try much harder. Allah does not like slugs.

      Worry01 on July 14, 2011 at 3:37 pm

    Dave, did you forget this one: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sultaana_Freeman

    It is a real issue. Do you really need additional instances? Feel free to do the “research” yourself, and spare us the Islamic pandering.

    Worry01 on July 14, 2011 at 3:43 pm

Well, Dave and Jimmie, there you guys go again. There is no universal “Pastafarian” religion, but there is a universal “FRAUDIFARIAN PHOTOSHOPISTIC” religion, but you may not have heard of it yet.

As for Pastafarians throwing meatballs, well, don’t start blaming the VEGETARIAN-PASTAFARIAN SECT for those little BOMB-BASTICS.

My own personal religion is that of “THE CLOAK OF INVISIBILITY”. It is being organized in Japan – by Ninjas – and I hope to be one of the Elders by the time I must renew my Driver’s License. Now, I must pray: “NOW YOU SEE ME…NOW YOU DON’T”. Long live the DMV!

Dennis on July 14, 2011 at 8:38 am

Well, I hope that all Pastafarians sign their documents with a ‘penne’..may that be as legal as the Burka…good on ya…gives a new angle to the name ‘mad hatters’…love it!

Eyes Wide Open on July 14, 2011 at 9:48 am

    Good Afternoon “EYES WIDE OPEN”;

    QUESTION: Is the “penne” mightier than the sword and does one need a WEAPONS PERMIT to own a “penne”?

    I’m laughing aloud thinking how that would work…a soggy “penne” for signing paperwork. 🙂 🙂 GREAT!

    Dennis on July 14, 2011 at 2:08 pm

      Pastafarians are very ‘pici’ about their ‘penne’ and dip the dry ‘penne’ into ink wells. An extremely ‘soba’ bunch they don’t have many accidents and I’m sure the Austrian must have passed the driving test in the ‘pastamatic’ class.

      Eyes Wide Open on July 15, 2011 at 1:01 am

      Dennis: FYI please read the comments on the same article from the UK. Bloody hilarious, at least we can but have a laugh.


      Eyes Wide Open on July 16, 2011 at 12:38 am

While the najib-wearing knucklehead in the photo above may be fake (New Jersey is probably one of the states that wouldn’t allow it), there are states that do not require photos on driver’s licenses for religious purposes (Arkansas, California, Idaho, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Louisiana, Minnesota, Missouri, North Carolina, Oregon, South Carolina, Tennessee, Vermont, and Wisconsin), so they “might” allow ridiculous headgear in a driver’s license photo.

The most famous U.S. case was in 2003 (in Florida) – Sultaana Freeman, a newly converted Mooslim formerly known as Shaneekwa Johnson, sued to be allowed to wear a najib in her driver’s license. She lost.

I think we’re talking about apples and oranges here. It’s hard to prove a point citing an Austrian guy vs. U.S. driver’s license rules.

Bart on July 14, 2011 at 10:52 am

Oh, and I may have made up Sultaana’s real (pre-Mooslim) name. I couldn’t remember what it was.

Bart on July 14, 2011 at 10:55 am

‘Her’ height is shown as 6- 03. Is there anyone else in there?

logdon on July 14, 2011 at 11:36 am

I think Lindsay Lohan should demand no photo at all on her drives license. It’s safer that way.

Fred Taub on July 14, 2011 at 1:32 pm

Islam is a CULT, NOT a religion:

haracteristics Associated with Cultic Groups – Revised

Janja Lalich, Ph.D. & Michael D. Langone, Ph.D.

Concerted efforts at influence and control lie at the core of cultic groups, programs, and relationships. Many members, former members, and supporters of cults are not fully aware of the extent to which members may have been manipulated, exploited, even abused. The following list of social-structural, social-psychological, and interpersonal behavioral patterns commonly found in cultic environments may be helpful in assessing a particular group or relationship.

Compare these patterns to the situation you were in (or in which you, a family member, or friend is currently involved). This list may help you determine if there is cause for concern. Bear in mind that this list is not meant to be a “cult scale” or a definitive checklist to determine if a specific group is a cult. This is not so much a diagnostic instrument as it is an analytical tool.

? The group displays excessively zealous and unquestioning commitment to its leader and (whether he is alive or dead) regards his belief system, ideology, and practices as the Truth, as law.

? Questioning, doubt, and dissent are discouraged or even punished.

? Mind-altering practices (such as meditation, chanting, speaking in tongues, denunciation sessions, and debilitating work routines) are used in excess and serve to suppress doubts about the group and its leader(s).

? The leadership dictates, sometimes in great detail, how members should think, act, and feel (for example, members must get permission to date, change jobs, marry—or leaders prescribe what types of clothes to wear, where to live, whether or not to have children, how to discipline children, and so forth).

? The group is elitist, claiming a special, exalted status for itself, its leader(s) and members (for example, the leader is considered the Messiah, a special being, an avatar—or the group and/or the leader is on a special mission to save humanity).

? The group has a polarized us-versus-them mentality, which may cause conflict with the wider society.

? The leader is not accountable to any authorities (unlike, for example, teachers, military commanders or ministers, priests, monks, and rabbis of mainstream religious denominations).

? The group teaches or implies that its supposedly exalted ends justify whatever means it deems necessary. This may result in members’ participating in behaviors or activities they would have considered reprehensible or unethical before joining the group (for example, lying to family or friends, or collecting money for bogus charities).

? The leadership induces feelings of shame and/or guilt iin order to influence and/or control members. Often, this is done through peer pressure and subtle forms of persuasion.

? Subservience to the leader or group requires members to cut ties with family and friends, and radically alter the personal goals and activities they had before joining the group.

? The group is preoccupied with bringing in new members.

? The group is preoccupied with making money.

? Members are expected to devote inordinate amounts of time to the group and group-related activities.

? Members are encouraged or required to live and/or socialize only with other group members.

? The most loyal members (the “true believers”) feel there can be no life outside the context of the group. They believe there is no other way to be, and often fear reprisals to themselves or others if they leave (or even consider leaving) the group.

Tom on July 14, 2011 at 4:00 pm

I didn’t forget anything – I just pointed out that the picture Debbie used was a well-known fake. I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, but she acknowledges she knew it was a fake.

Dave H. on July 14, 2011 at 5:24 pm

Atheists who defend Islam and Muslims are bigger morons and will be more likely to suffer badly under Islam than any religion. Islamic Iran and Pakistan take a much harder line toward atheists in those countries.

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