September 21, 2011, - 5:12 pm

TMI: Skanky Mrs. Brady & Other Has-Been Celebrities, Shut Up!

By Debbie Schlussel

In this Facebook/Twitter/Share-When-I-Defecated world, is there anything people won’t share?  Sadly, no, there isn’t.  And it’s even worse for celebrities–especially has-been celebrities, who need to make another dollar and will say and do anything to get it.  The worst is these silly memoirs.  Belinda Carlisle, lead singer of the Go-Gos, wrote in her memoirs that she once recorded with the Beach Boys’ Brian Wilson and that he farted in the studio. Wow, useful info that will make my life better! Rick Springfield wrote about how he’s a sex addict and sometimes slept with three different women in a day. I think I heard that one before in “The Wilt Chamberlain Story.” Still not info I needed.


Skank Who Needs to Drink a Nice Tall Glass of STFU Juice

And now there is Florence Henderson, the classless former “Brady Bunch” mom, who at age 77 is an aging skank desperate to stay relevant. She’s gone on every reality show possible, no matter how silly.  And it hasn’t done the trick.  So, she’s telling everyone who will listen that she had a one-night stand with New York Mayor John Lindsay and he gave her crabs (and it’s in her new memoir). Wow, thanks for that. . . not. TMI, (non)lady. T-M-I! First, she said it on yenta hag-fest, “The View,” and now the salacious FOX News is also giving her the forum for this barfitude.  The guy who played Mike Brady (Robert Reed), a closet gay, was always dignified and a class act.  This woman is garbage.

On Tuesday’s racy The View, Florence Henderson of Brady Bunch fame was flogging her new book. And during what turned out to be a very lively segment that followed another very lively segment with foul-mouthed It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia star Danny DeVito, the veteran actress talked about one particular tryst that was quite memorable.

That said, that memorable liaison, which happened back in the 1960s, was with a famous politician whose name Elisabeth Hasselbeck pulled out of Florence Henderson without much prompting: It was then New York City mayor John Lindsay, who happened to be a very handsome man. And he also happened to be a man who was carrying some clout that wasn’t at all welcomed.

Indeed, Florence admitted that the morning after the two had been together in a sexual way, Henderson woke up with an unhealthy and very nasty dose of crabs.

And while she was itching and worrying about what was going on in her nether regions, the now 77-year-old said she learned something very important. She decided then and there that there was a lesson to be had in what had happened when this pretty actress hooked up with the hunky mayor.

I expect this crap from “The View” and fake conservative/real airhead Elisabeth Hasseldumb, but FOX News then brought her on their network to spew the same.  Hey, FOX News, how the heck is it “fair and balanced” to let Mrs. Brady tell this crap on the air when John Lindsay’s been dead for over a decade and can’t respond to this baloney?  It would be far more fair (and balanced) to bring Glenn Rice onto the network to talk about his booty call with Sarah Palin, but you’ll never see that.

The one thing the development of e-books hasn’t revolutionized is the elimination of these dopey, tawdry confessions by this sad, sad people who live off the fumes of fading nostalgia for a fame they once had.

Someone needs to tell these people to shut up and act. Or in the case of Mrs. Brady, just shut up.

Memo to the world:  if you spend even a penny or a second of your life on Florence Henderson’s memoir, you’re a loser.  Period.

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30 Responses

She could have got her crabs from a prior tryst, and given them to John Lindsay.

Dr Dale on September 21, 2011 at 5:30 pm

So what is the big deal about Lindsay screwing one actress? When he was Mayor of NYC, he f.ked over 7,000,000 people.

Jonathan E. Grant on September 21, 2011 at 5:38 pm


    skzion on September 21, 2011 at 6:58 pm

    Unless you weer on welfare. Then you had it made under the Lindsay administration – even if you were in the country illegally.

    shegundala on September 22, 2011 at 10:02 am

Sorry,but I don’t want to know that. Not in the least.

Ghostwriter on September 21, 2011 at 5:55 pm

Lindsay destroyed the NYC Public School system along with CCNY (The poor man’s Harvard). He established open admissions at CCNY, which had been a scholarship school based on merit. He also bussed poor black kids into mostly Jewish neighborhoods, creating nothing but conflict, and white flight to the suburbs.

Worse, his machinations forced out the sizeable number of Jewish teachers in the NY Public Schools, which was one of the best public school systems in the country, and put in minorities who were not competent. He wanted teaches that would reflect the student composition.

He also bankrupted the city with high pay to garbagemen, etc.
To support the high pay to the unionized city workers, he upped taxes, causing factories and businesses to flee the nation’s largest port city.

Give Florence Henderson crabs? Nope, he did a lot worse things than that.

Jonathan E. Grant on September 21, 2011 at 5:57 pm

People’s private sex lives are no one else’s business, period. And its more TMI than I need to know. And I simply don’t care who she was with. Sure, sex sells but I think even in this age when some people simply don’t know the limits of decency – they should remain mercifully silent… if not for their sakes, then for ours. Celebrities who spread around filth won’t be kindly remembered by history. There is the class of manners and then there is the the class for which is there is no accounting for taste of delicate refinement. We’re hearing too much of the latter and too little about the former in our culture.

No thanks Ms. Henderson and I won’t ever be reading your memoir.

NormanF on September 21, 2011 at 6:02 pm

Momma Brady got crabs, Poppa Brady got AIDS, Brady Bunch sucks in spades!

Glamourizing divorce under that “widow” and “widower” bullplop fantasy. THE BRADY BUNCH was anti-family. They had a bulldyke lesbian housekeeper.

The Putrid Family on September 21, 2011 at 6:10 pm

    Alice had a boyfriend. Insights like the one you’ve provided are more valuable when they are actually correct!

    Richard on September 21, 2011 at 7:04 pm

      “Sam the butcher” was actually Samantha the Book Store owner! Alice may have fooled the Brady’s, but not gaydar!

      The Putrid Family on September 21, 2011 at 9:13 pm

I just though.

“I had to watch in those days too” You’re write Debbie…
about she should “shut the Fkkc up”.

Augusto on September 21, 2011 at 6:38 pm

    Guys can swear. Women don’t and they never looking good uttering phrases that would make a hardened sailor blush.

    Correction – guys shouldn’t seldom swear since routine profanity doesn’t make a man look classy.

    Being classy is exactly what we are in need of in our society.

    NormanF on September 21, 2011 at 8:06 pm

Raggin’ on the dead seems to be the chic to do these days because the dead can’t hit back. And those people who actually believe that BS are pathetic, quidnuncs, and bunch of jurk-offs.

Patrick on September 21, 2011 at 9:15 pm

Florence Henderson has been shopping this stuff for years. I guess her having an affair, when the Brady Bunch was produced, with the young actor who played “Greg” did not have sufficient shock value. Now, we are subjected to her lack of basic sexual hygiene. Her book is something you would expect a “has been” star in their 40’s, and not a 77 year old.

Worry01 on September 21, 2011 at 9:18 pm

Well, with a costar like Florence, I bet Robert Reed was thanking his stars every night that he was gay.

Pats on September 21, 2011 at 9:36 pm

    So, her acting as a Clown groupie in “Shakes the Clown” (the Citizen Kane of alcoholic clown movies) was autobiographical?

    Occam's Tool on September 22, 2011 at 4:59 pm

      Correction—Elderly Clown Groupie.

      Occam's Tool on September 22, 2011 at 5:01 pm

After Barbara Walters’ disclosures a couple years ago none of these renderings, like Henderson’s, even have any shock value.

CornCoLeo on September 21, 2011 at 10:04 pm

Books are sold for notoriety these days. And if she slept around in the “Era Of Free Love,” that’s hardly news. Like I said, its her personal business. I believe tact is called for and none of us should disclose our private lives to any one. The prurient is of no interest to historians.

NormanF on September 21, 2011 at 11:18 pm

Aw, you people have no sense of humor. Behold the “Erupting Peter”

Double entendrés don’t get much more Freudian than this.

Irving on September 22, 2011 at 12:43 am

And then you have the alter-kocker crooner Tony Bennett, justifying the 9/11 atrocities the other day by echoing the party line of the likes of homely Maggie Gyllenhaal (“we deserved it”) – yet a few days later, backtracking like a cockroach who has a light shone in its face. But then, Bennett in recent years has sought to stay “relevant” by duetting with the likes of now-deceased train wreck Amy Winehouse and classless attention-grabbing you-known-what Lady Gaga (and praising them to the stars), so his rationalizing the Islamo-terrorists’ murder of 3,000 innocent Americans on our own soil in one day doesn’t exactly come as a surprise in that context. In other words, it seems he left far more than his heart in San Francisco . . .

But as for Ms. Henderson . . . given that she’s 77, it should be noted that she was born in a year which also gave us quite a few other flakes and loons . . . Shirley MacLaine, as just one example. As well as murderer Charles Manson, and lefty Ralph Nader.

ConcernedPatriot on September 22, 2011 at 8:52 am

Flo seems to be unsuccessfully going after some of the market territory cornered by that other classless aging skank …Betty White

Mz Brown on September 22, 2011 at 11:27 am

I take exception to the Betty White comment. Betty was married to Alan Ludden for many, many years. Her jokes about offering sex are because she is 90 years old. She is mocking the phony sexual trendiness of our society. She is hardly a skank.

Jonathan E. Grant on September 22, 2011 at 11:53 am

There was a show around the same time called “What’s in Your Beaver”.

Truth on September 22, 2011 at 12:06 pm


    CornCoLeo on September 22, 2011 at 4:27 pm

Florence Henderson with crabs and the oral revelations that come with it. We are use to the daily dribble. I hear it everyday on the Sean Vannity -“You’re a great American” show. Flo Henderson and Vannity have one thing in common, Their both clowns!!!!

St. Stephen on September 22, 2011 at 8:29 pm

No wonder Jan was so neurotic.

Tempus_Fugit on September 23, 2011 at 1:03 am

Congratulations Jonathan E. Grant. You did a marvelous job in taking from the playbook of famous author Paul Kersey in describing how to bring a neighborhood down, namely New York City.

John Lindsey definitely brought down the city.

Confederate South on December 22, 2011 at 4:56 pm

Florence Henderson died yesterday, so you got your revenge. Happy now?

earl hickey on November 25, 2016 at 11:37 am

You know Debbie, no one was forcing you to watch that show.
Grow up. P.S. .I.P. Florence Henderson.
You will be missed.

Karl on November 28, 2016 at 2:43 am

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