September 23, 2011, - 5:25 pm

Wknd Box Office: Killer Elite, Dolphin Tale, Moneyball

By Debbie Schlussel

It’s kinda like a three-fer weekend because there’s a fantastic family movie and a so-so movie from Hollywood that actually portrays Muslims for the murderous, anti-Western scum that they are.  Yeah, Jason Statham!  I knew I liked that dude.  And the sports movie starring Palestina Jolie’s wife ain’t bad either.   I did not see “Abduction,” starring “Team Jacob” a/k/a the talentless Taylor Lautner because they did not screen it for Detroit-area movie critics.  Since they screened even the horrid “Creature” (read my review) for us, you know what that means.


*  “Killer Elite“:  The best thing about this movie is when Muslims get a hitman to kill an innocent men, and when he confronts them, one of the Muslims responds with a dismissive laugh and says, “Such is allah’s will.”  You know that’s how all Muslims think whenever an innocent non-Muslim (or even an innocent Muslim, of which there are very few) is killed.  And I’m glad Hollywood is finally letting a movie actually have dialogue in this.  Must have snuck past the HAMAS CAIR Action Network censors of all reality and facts.  The second best part of this movie is when Clive Owen gives a Muslim sheikh treatment similar to (but more delicious than) the Navy SEALS Team Six treatment for Bin Laden.

Jason Statham and Robert De Niro are elite hitmen who kill for a living.  But when Statham almost kills a kid, he decides he’s had enough and retires to the Australian outback.  De Niro stays in it . . . for the money, and that’s his downfall.  One day, Statham finds a photo of De Niro being held hostage and he must go to the kidnappers to find him.

The kidnappers are a dethroned Muslim sheikh, who is the exiled leader of a Gulf state, and his spoiled son, the prince.  The sheikh looks like a cross between the Shoe Bomber and Bin Laden at age 80.  The Oman-based sheikh and his son tell Statham that he must kill the three British men from the SAS (Special Air Service) who murdered his three other jihadist sons (in Iraq or Afghanistan or somewhere).  If he does that, and provides proof, plus their admissions of killing his sons, then De Niro can go free.  If not, well, you know what these Muslim royals do when they don’t get their way from infidels:  they slaughter us.  Spoiler Alert:  in a ripped-from-headlines kind of twist there is a British oil deal connected with all this.  Hey, remember the British release of the Lockerbie bomber in exchange for oil deals?

This movie has lots of action and chases, but I didn’t really like the clumsy, herky-jerky story in this movie.  It wasn’t tightly written and seemed a little long.  Plus a lot of the stunts just weren’t believable. It was also very bloody and violent.  And I just wasn’t that into it.  Even the reality check on Muslims wasn’t enough to make it a good movie.  It was just okay.


Watch the trailer . . .

*  “Dolphin Tale“:  Aside from the presence of TrAshley “This is What a Feminist Looks Like” Judd, this is a great movie for family viewing.  Great for kids, great for your whole family, and the adults will like it, too.  I enjoyed it.  And it’s also patriotic, with a military element.  It’s based on the true story of the dolphin that got the prosthetic fin, when its real fin had to be amputated due to injuries.

A young boy who is shy and introverted sees a beached dolphin, caught in a crab trap, on his way to summer school.  He tries to help the dolphin and the whale responds with affinity.  After the dolphin is rescued by the local non-profit marine hospital, he visits the dolphin and develops a relationship with it (this is strictly platonic, G-rated stuff) and becomes friendly with the young daughter of the marine biologist (Harry Connick, Jr.) who is trying to help nurse the dolphin back to health.  The formerly introverted boy comes alive in this setting.  But the ailing dolphin’s tail must be amputated, and the marine hospital is struggling financially.  After a hurricane, it’s unlikely the hospital will remain open, and no institutions want an amputee dolphin.

Meanwhile, the young boy’s cousin, a state swimming champ and Army soldier, is wounded in Iraq (or Afghanistan–can’t remember which).  The young boy visits the military hospital, meets a doctor (Morgan Freeman) who specializes in prosthetics for soldiers, and the wheels start turning.

The movie is far more charming than can be conveyed in this brief review. It’s wholesome, cute, and very entertaining.  If I had one problem with it, it’s that, per usual, the kid has an absentee “bad dad.”  We’re told that the boy’s dad just left one day when he was young and they never heard from him again.  “He doesn’t call, he doesn’t write,” the boy says.  Since this is based on a true story, I wonder what actually happened to the real-life boy’s dad.

Also, in real life, the doctors (plural) who saved the whale by getting the prosthetic tale were two White doctors, that were combined into one Black guy in the movie. Yes, at the end, they show photos of the doctors, and I noticed they are obviously White. Racial politics? Probably. That’s Hollywood.

But other than that, it’s fine and enjoyable.


Watch the trailer . . .

*  “Moneyball“:  Even though I loathe Brad Pitt a/k/a Angelina Jolie’s trophy wife and find baseball to be almost as boring as curling, this was still a decent movie, though a little long and slow.  Jonah Hill a/k/a Jonah Hill Feldstein was the best part of it.  Even when he’s not supposed to be funny, he’s funny.  The absolute best dialogue in the movie is at the beginning, when a baseball scout for the Oakland A’s voices his opposition to the drafting of a particular player because the player’s girlfriend is ugly (“only a 6”), and that shows the player has no confidence.  The movie is based on the book of the same name by Michael Lewis.

It’s the early 2000’s, as the Oakland As lost the World Series, and all of their great players have signed for bigger money elsewhere.  Pitt is Billy Beane, a former teen baseball phenom who chose the money over a scholarship at Stanford and didn’t make it in Major League Baseball.  He became a scout for the As and is now general manager of the team.  With a smaller budget of only a few tens of millions, there is no way the As can compete with rich teams like the New York Yankees until . . . until Beane meets Peter Brand (Hill), who is an employee of another team and has an economics degree from Yale.

Beane hires Brand away and makes him assistant general manager of the As, where the two of them put together a team of underrated (and, thus, low-paid) players with proven records of getting on base through walks and other non-hit methods.  It’s known as “sabremetrics,” even though I can’t remember hearing that term once in the movie, and it’s based solely on statistics, complicated mathematical formulas, and computer number-crunching.  Beane has to fight a recalcitrant scouting and coaching staff as he puts into play this new method.  Will it work?  Will Beane win the World Series with the As?  Google it, read the book, or see the movie.  Your pick.  Or, you can read this column, “The ‘Moneyball’ Myth,” by the Wall Street Journal’s Allen Barra, which says it’s not true.

I could have done without the part at the end, in which Beane’s young daughter (he is divorced) sings to him that he’s a loser.  But I guess he is, because–Spoiler Alert–after all this, he turned down a $12.5 million to become GM of the Boston Red Sox.

Enjoyable and entertaining even if you don’t like sports.  It’s no “The Natural, ” but good enough.


Watch the trailer . . .

32 Responses

DS, I just can’t wait ’til you review the film directed by Palestina Jolie (Husband of Brad Pitt). I am annoyed because she is taking on the Bosnian/Croatian/Serbian conflict and as of late, Serbio/Croatian films are my favourite. I would prolly go see it if SHE didn’t direct it. But anyways, that is a review I look forward to.

Skunky on September 23, 2011 at 6:50 pm

    Skanky, there’s no such thing as S**bo/ Coratian.

    Smudge on September 23, 2011 at 7:46 pm

    Skanky, there’s no such thing as S**bo/ Croatian

    Smudge on September 23, 2011 at 7:51 pm

“Must have snuck past the HAMAS CAIR Action Network censors of all reality and facts.”

Must’ve Debbie, let us hope that CAIR does NOT file a frivolous BS lawsuit against the producers and directors for the film “Killer Elite”? To there own credit, they told the whole truth and gave out the facts, to me that’s not ramming an agenda on the folks who’s going to see the film. Dolphin Tale sounds like a good film, and Moneyball looks pretty good to me as well. DS, there was this film back in 1999 I believe, where Russell Crowe started himself in that movie, I believe he was the coach for a hockey team in Alaska and challenged the NHL’s NY Rangers in that film. Moneyball kinda reminds of that film where Crowe started in that hockey movie back over a decade ago (if any of you know the name of that movie where Russell Crowe started and was the coach of a hockey team in Alaska, could you please refresh my memory of the name of that film in 1999)!

“A nation is defined by its borders, language & culture!”

Sean R. on September 23, 2011 at 7:46 pm

    Sean, that movie strangely enough is called “Mystery, Alaska”.

    I didn’t see it but I was just in a house recently that had the poster framed. 😀

    Skunky on September 23, 2011 at 8:14 pm

      Apaaraently, “Asshat” Judd was concerned about how the movie’s script writers played with her character’s emotions until she found out that it was a true story and the dolphin exists. Oy.

      Occam's Tool on September 24, 2011 at 4:21 pm

    The movie you have in mind was “Mystery, Alaska.” Yeah, it came out in 1999, the year before Crowe starred in Ridley Scott’s Oscar-winning “Gladiator.” Bonus point: “Mystery, Alaska” was directed by Jay Roach, the same guy who did those “Austin Powers” flicks.

    Seek on September 26, 2011 at 11:42 am

Thanks Skunky, the name “Mystery Alaska” now rings a bell. I know it’s been a tad over a decade since I last saw that film. And these three films sound and look good, so I assume these three movies will make good money this weekend!

“A nation is defined by its borders, language & culture!”

Sean R. on September 23, 2011 at 8:18 pm

With the way Morgan Freeman has been shooting his mouth off and exposing his intelligence recently, I don’t plan to go see any films in which he unfortunately stars in. Too bad since I always held him in high regards as an actor and looked forward to seeing his films.

Pats on September 23, 2011 at 9:23 pm

    Freeman is a terrible actor–he plays the same character every time. He’s the superior, wise black man who gives good advice to stupid white people. No range.

    lexi on September 26, 2011 at 12:36 pm

      Lexi, anyone who can “out-act” Kevin Costner or Seth Green is held in high regards in my book. These are two that have absolutely no acting ability to begin with… and I still can’t figure out how either one made it big in hollywood.

      Pats on September 26, 2011 at 5:37 pm

As a long longtime A’s fan back to Kansas City, Billy Seane is one of the worst GMs of any sport that I saw keep his job. Sure he weote a book at the time by sheer luck Canseco, McGwire and those pitchers all stars developed at the same time. But since then he commenced trading them away when they were still young for prospects who he rgen traded away 2 years or less later and on and on. In 2005 made the ALCS finals with Detroit and again demolished the team. Signs washed up old players. His record since around 2001 is horrendous.

Beane as a young phenom? Beane was a .200 hitter!

Bill C. on September 24, 2011 at 6:42 am

    You’re obviously not a close follower of the A’s. Your post makes no sense. McGwire and Canseco weren’t even around when Beane was GM. What the hell are you talking about?

    Melvin on September 25, 2011 at 5:48 am

I tried to watch dophin’s tale and all I could think about was how much of a radical racist morgan brainlock was. Same with all of his other movies and most of hollyweird.

Death of Liberalism on September 24, 2011 at 11:49 am

yea was really disappointed in Morgans chimpout on cnn…lost all respect….man I remember him from the electric company oh well….another “typical” black guy….

mike on September 24, 2011 at 12:07 pm

    Freeman plays a composite of the two real-life white scientists, Kevin Carroll and Dan Strzempka, who developed an artificial tail for the dolphin. The character he plays in this true story didn’t actually exist, but it was a handy way of making a black person the hero…

    Shangani on September 24, 2011 at 4:20 pm

      Shangani, when a black character is made an artificial hero I call it the “Noble Negro” archetype. This role can also be filled by any person of “minority” status such as illegal aliens, native americans, muslims, etc in Hollywood films and tv.

      This role is always good, kind, gentle, smarter than all the whiteys in the film combined, and pure as the wind-driven snow.

      It’s often juxtaposed in a film with one of many stereotype whitey roles. There are several of this type. Homophobics, racists, hateful Christians, sexists, greedy businessmen, etc. The common threads for them is that they are always dumber than a box of rocks and they’re liars.

      pitandpen on September 25, 2011 at 9:24 am

      It seems like every time a black guy is a hero or plays a role not orginaly meant for a black person, it’s high treason. Ever think maybe it’s way to get asses in the seats?

      Also, why do only get offend when blacks plays whites? What about Angelina in “Mighty Heart?”, Elizabeth Taylor as Cleopatra, Gerard Depardieu as Alexadre Dumas? Are these movies really just a handy way of making a white person the hero…”?

      What about when straights play gay, are they “Noble Fags”?
      What about when hot guys play geeks, are they “Noble dweebs”?
      What about when young people play old, “Noble Gray.”
      or British playing American, “Noble Yank.”

      petebone on September 25, 2011 at 11:50 am

        Here comes Pete Bone…here to defend his Liberal sensibilities.

        Ummm, Bone, of course YOU see it as race. I believe the peeps who took umbrage were pointing out PC SENSIBILITIES and not race per se. Just ‘cuz you have white guilt don’t think others do.

        And Bone, you SHOULD have been able to conclude this from Pit And Pen’s LAST paragraph.

        (If y’all haven’t noticde, Mista Bone likes to comment on the esoteric posts and never the heavy duty ones. For obvious LIBERAL reasons.)

        Skunky on September 25, 2011 at 1:33 pm

          Not really defending anything, I’m just tired of people getting offended when they precive something as a big PC/reverse racist slam, when a) maybe it’s not and b) you don’t seem to care when it happens to others.

          Also, how can a blackish guy have white guilt? Can you not see the picture attached?

          petebone on September 25, 2011 at 1:52 pm

          Of course you are defending Bone. It’s what you do (here).

          You are on a very strange side when you say you are sick of peeps blaming PC when it’s not. That’s like “Man Bites Dog”.

          Red Pit and Pen’s post again. The first paragraph was pretty clear. The whole post was clear, actually.

          Stop being paranoid and get real.

          Skunky on September 25, 2011 at 2:32 pm

          Shagngi assumes that the screenwriter combine two people, not for the purpose of making streamlining the plot but rather to make a noble black charter. REALLY!?!?!

          Also it assumes that Morgan Freeman was cast because we was black, not because he’s good actor or more likely a box office draw.

          PS I like the new picture.

          petebone on September 25, 2011 at 2:52 pm

Piers Morgan broke new ground with his interview with Morgan Freeman.
Morgan is pushing to produce and star in a biopic of
Commander Mike Mullen.
Artistic license will allow him to play the Joint Chief top gay predator.
I had to turn the channel before they started humping.

Commander Zero is a Putz on September 24, 2011 at 5:05 pm

Who are those in Hollywood that denigrate real whites and promote phony blacks? The dolphin movie, racial propaganda, should be shunned.

michael on September 24, 2011 at 7:34 pm

Commercial Tuna Fish tasted better when it had dolphins in it.

Charlize Toona on September 24, 2011 at 10:10 pm

So turning down money to manage the Red Sox makes Beane a “loser?” I don’t know… it’s the Red Sox…

I suppose I’d take the money for that job though, if I figured I could manage a sabotage operation that begins a new 85 year curse.

Dolphin Tale looks good, but I can’t stand Ashley Franchitti and Morgan Freeman hates me…

Brian R. on September 25, 2011 at 11:22 am

“Who are those in Hollywood that denigrate real whites and promote phony blacks?”


Phineas on September 25, 2011 at 11:36 am

Even harder to stomach than Ashley Judd is the wise black man Morgan Freeman.

lexi on September 26, 2011 at 12:34 pm

Speaking of stereotypes and huge liberal guilt, and considering that Debbie reviews films and is in law: I’ve noticed for the LONGEST time that (except “My cousin Vinnie” and maybe a few other films), every time there is a judge portrayed in a movie, the person is a black female….so, yes we get it, Hollywood; minorities can be both professionals, and wield great power over others… just like Oprah, perhaps???

illini23 on September 27, 2011 at 4:06 am

I saw Dolphin Tale yesterday with the wife and kids. Despite the fact that Morgan Freeman and Ashley Judd are your typical libtard actors it was a good movie

ken b on October 3, 2011 at 11:52 am

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