May 22, 2012, - 2:57 pm

Dry Run: US-Bound Flight Threatened By Cameroon Chick Claiming Implanted Bomb

By Debbie Schlussel

Only a “nutty” woman would hand a note to the stewardess . . . er, flight attendant, on a plane claiming to have a surgically implanted “device” in her body, right? And that’s exactly why the Al-Qaeda playbook recommends using nutty people or having people pretend they are nutty once they are caught in an attempted terrorist attack or a dry run for one. So, today, when a Cameroonian female immigrant to France–the Cameroon is 20% Muslim according to the CIA Factbook (and most Cameroonians who emigrate to France are Muslim)–informs personnel on a US-bound flight that she has a ticking bomb inside of her, it was probably a dry run. She was clearly testing the system. Oh, and she had no luggage . . . for a trip from France to the U.S. She had no apparent scars on her body, so why would she threaten this?


Well, we’ve long heard of Al-Qaeda plots to implant bombs inside terrorists so that they can evade airport security. But we’ve never been faced with one before on a plane. And they probably want to see what we would do. And what we would do is . . . nothing. Turning around the plane or landing it is too late. Terrorists who actually have bombs inside of them might not inform airplane personnel. Or if they do, it’s right before detonation time. So, I believe this was a dry run/testing-the-system mission, though I predict we’ll hear all kinds of stories about how she’s just a crazy lady. Nothing to see here, move along.

A passenger who claimed to have a device surgically implanted inside her triggered the security scare that led to the diversion of a North Carolina-bound jetliner Tuesday, federal officials said.

Doctors aboard examined the woman and saw no sign of recent scars, according to the office of Rep. Peter King, the chairman of the House Homeland Security Committee. And a senior federal law enforcement official told CNN that authorities have determined that no bomb was involved in the incident.

US Airways Flight 787 landed in Bangor, Maine, around noon Tuesday after the incident. The Paris-to-Charlotte flight carried 179 passengers and a crew of nine, airline spokeswoman Liz Landau told CNN.

The senior federal official said the passenger handed a note to the flight crew indicating that she had had a device implanted in her body, but did not indicate the device was a threat or that she was threatening the flight.

And a federal law enforcement source who had been briefed on the matter said there was “basically no threat.” The woman is being questioned and will likely undergo a psychological evaluation, the source said.

Nevertheless, the Boeing 767 was diverted to Bangor “out of an abundance of caution,” the Transportation Security Administration said. The jetliner was escorted into Bangor by a pair of F-15 fighter jets dispatched by the North American Aerospace Defense Command from an Air National Guard base in Massachusetts, said Lt. Col. Mike Humphreys, a NORAD spokesman.

King’s office said the woman is a Cameroon-born French citizen who was headed to the United States for a 10-day visit. She was traveling alone and had no checked baggage.

There was no indication she was on any kind of government watch list, the federal law enforcement source said.

Duh. They don’t pick people on watch lists because they know they’re gonna be watched or likely prevented from boarding (although ya never know, given that Undiebomber Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab was on a list and breezed right through security and onto the plane).

By the way, I have a solution for people like this woman, “Throw Mama From the Plane!”

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31 Responses

“And they probably want to see what we would do. And what we would do is . . . nothing.”

How about, “Throw Momma from the Plane”? Works for me. Perhaps passenger aircraft should be fitted with some kind of airlock so that folks like this can be jettisoned without depressurizing the aircraft.

Richard on May 22, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Or maybe some kind of bomb-proof pod from which the bomber could not escape, one that would separate from the aircraft and return unharmed (from without) to earth to be gathered up, with bomber inside, by authorities.

Richard on May 22, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Cameroon is 20% Muslim? This is scary – at this rate, the entire African continent will be Islamic before too long. Honestly, they’d do much better w/ whatever native religion they had even if they’re not enamored w/ Christianity.

Incidentally, of the 57 members of the OIC, some members, like Guyana, Suriname, Mozambique and Cameroon as well. All of which have Muslim populations of 20% or below, and are by no stretch of imagination Muslim countries.

Anyway, good start would be to encourage our ‘allies’ like the Emirates, Qatar and Saudi Arabia to have their airlines operate in the US as all-Muslim airlines, and ban Muslims from travelling in other airlines. Much easier from a security POV

Infidel on May 22, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Just what were the F-15’s supposed to do? No one took control of the aircraft to fly it somewhere. She claimed to have a bomb, she would have just blown it up and the F-15 pilots would just watch it go down.

Bin Laden is laughing from the grave at the amount of wasted time, money and effort he has inflicted on us. Take your shoes off, nude x-rays, no liquids, grope and strip search children, scramble fighter jets, land planes from their destination to waste more fuel, time and money. Yep, we sure are winning this war.

ender on May 22, 2012 at 3:35 pm

reminds me of that scene in ‘trading places’ where eddie murphy and dan akroyd play exhange students from camaroon…

kirche on May 22, 2012 at 5:08 pm

Idiot Camer-Loon muslima. I like Richard’s idea of a bomb-proof pod aboard all commercial aircraft – like maybe dedicate one lavatory for conversion. Then, shove the freaky-acting muslim in the chamber, let them explode themselves and just hose out the chamber after landing.

DS_ROCKS! on May 22, 2012 at 5:35 pm

I love “Throw Muslima Mama The Plane”! Everybody wins! šŸ˜›

Skunky on May 22, 2012 at 6:16 pm

    Skunky, I gotta say, your avatar is captivating. The Bride-of-frankenstein meets Orion Slave Girl look is working. With maybe just a hint of BarbieĀ® thrown in…

    Richard on May 22, 2012 at 7:20 pm

    Whoopi Goldberg could play the title role. Also, no stunt double should be used for the climactic plumet scene. One could strap a streaming video camera to Whoopi so the descent and final splat are properly captured. The film could end with a panoramic shot of the impact crater. The Deluxe Blu-Ray Edition could include the squeals and swearing of Whoopi during her downward spiral.

    worry01 on May 22, 2012 at 8:39 pm

My first thought was a pod that could be jettisoned, but a bombproof lav may work too. Well, that’s not exactly right, my first thought was skydiving with no chute. It’s the best idea I’ve had today, if you don’t count having the Malibu Chicken for lunch.

Maybe DARPA should be looking at this notion.

Richard on May 22, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Surprise! Surprise! A Blacm muslim woman from Africa. As Obama woulsd say “she would look like my daughters. let’s not jump to conclusions.”

Why has the muslim lying fraud OBAMA made a statement to muslims abroad to stop attacking.

Race war is coming – overbreeding muslims are aiming for it.

Start the cleansing NOW! On the day HUSSEIN OBAMA LOSES HIS POWER!

Bill on May 22, 2012 at 7:43 pm

Fort Hood muslim POS racist murder, “nutty”, etc.

it is extremely common in muslim world to marry your cousins and on and on. and the brain of the resulting muslim causes this “nutty” effect.

Bill on May 22, 2012 at 7:48 pm

Bill, you are on to something with cousing marriage. (Double cousing marriage is more damaging). The effect isn’t necessarily nuttiness, but the effect of co-sanguinity is to reduce the IQ. In Islamic states the distribution of IQ is still a normal distribution, but the zero sigma point on the curve is moved to the left. By as much as 30 points in some states.

Richard on May 22, 2012 at 7:58 pm

couldn’t it have been inserted like a tampon, thus there would be no scars? Just wondering –actually any orifice?

juanita on May 22, 2012 at 8:34 pm

    Re: couldnā€™t it have been inserted like a tampon?

    Theoretically yes, but due to the earlier muslim cltoral removal operation, it could not be held securely in place.

    Bill on May 23, 2012 at 8:54 am

Alternatively, the punishment could be mandatory gender reassignment.

worry01 on May 22, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Juanita, I believe I read that Al Qaeda’s current bomb making mastermind, the one who is developing implantable bombs, blew his brother up with a bomb that was – how to put this? – aww, screw it – up his butt. So to answer your question, yes.

Richard on May 22, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Have no fear fellow Americans, those Forever Beholden to Islam are on the job! Hu-dah!!

The morbidly obese, moderately retarded, yet-to-be-convicted of luggage theft and/or kiddie porn tsa “agents” will up their scrutiny of pre-pubescent White girls, wheelchair-bound octogenarian Veterans, Catholic Nuns, Miss USA, and supermodels like Bar Refaeli.

Gotta protect us from (Team America Lisa voice) “The Terrorists.”

sam jackson on May 22, 2012 at 9:44 pm

    I had no idea how to approach this be-feronow I’m locked and loaded.

    Denver on May 24, 2014 at 5:50 pm

They should have messed with her saying that they don’t have the expertise to remove the implanted bomb therefore she will be put in the middle of the desert untill the implant blows up…..or untill the coyotes will find her tasty enough……

Gino on May 22, 2012 at 9:45 pm

THIS is what you do best; tell us what is really happening.

Thank you again.

Nick Fury on May 22, 2012 at 10:09 pm

husseein obama feces’ fbi has now declared it was a french crazy woman and there never was a danger.

blck muslim woman from cameroon her face looks like obama’s father and the leader of the planet of the apes.

Bill on May 22, 2012 at 11:12 pm


    So she looks like Moochelle Obama.

    Ken b on May 23, 2012 at 11:50 am

hussein obama wants free contraceptives for WHITE people, abortion rights for WHITE woman as he allows mexicans and arabs to invade.

Bill on May 22, 2012 at 11:27 pm

Yup. Another “Scare the Infidels” special.

Because they are not arrested!!!!

pat on May 23, 2012 at 2:55 am

Trans oral and trans vaginal surgery can be done to implant things with no outwardly visible incisions.

elliot reisman on May 23, 2012 at 10:45 am

Bim! Bam! No thank you, M’am.

Nir Lieu on May 23, 2012 at 10:59 am

Always was concerned that bin laden had seen the fembots in Austin Powers film…..Hollywood enables al quida through film
JC in LJ

JC on May 23, 2012 at 11:31 am

Maybe the next time these terrorist jackenapes pull another dry run they’ll have something on the plane to deal with it. I recommend a special ejectable seat in the back that you could strap the retard into. That way there could be a nice midair explosion away from the aircraft. An explosive proof lavatory would work too but you would have to clean up after. That would be unnecessary work and the “flight attendants” do too much as it is. All joking aside folks how long will it be before something terrible really happens? With the topnotched TSA patting down the eldery, handicapped veterans, infants and children you know it will be sooner than later. I don’t know about you but I have no confidence in our CIC and the top butt munchers at the CIA, FBI, DOJ, and Homeland Suckurity. Neither one of these morons can spell terrorist let alone catch one. Especially that guy Janet Napolitano. Talk about clueless. Thanks again Debbie for giving us the whole story unlike the Obamamedia.

Ken b on May 23, 2012 at 11:40 am

Are you saying that Cameroon is 20% muslim or France is 20% muslim?

S: The Cameroon. DS

salt1907 on May 23, 2012 at 1:21 pm

You people sound like a bunch of idiots! seriously folks, are you people for real? You all seem to be nuttier than this woman. I cant believe the outrageous, paranoid, mis-guided stuff i’ve read here. wow! It makes me sad to know i’m living amongst people like you. You’re part of the problem. I highly suggest you people educate yourselves. Unbelievable!!

tanya on May 25, 2012 at 12:49 pm

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