June 17, 2012, - 12:47 pm

Fathers Day: Jerry Sandusky’s Victims Were Fatherless; Be Glad You Were Not

By Debbie Schlussel

If you have or had a father in your life, the Jerry Sandusky trial should serve as a stark reminder of how lucky you are/were.

How lucky I was. How lucky we were to have a loving, providing, caring man of honor in our lives. Sandusky’s victims were not so fortunate, and it’s the primary reason they were left to be raped by him and couldn’t get out of the situation. The Sandusky case is just one of many examples of what happens to kids who don’t have a father, who are raised by single mothers, as more than 42% of all American kids today are now born out of wedlock and don’t have a father in their lives. As I’ve noted on this site, social researchers have said that, unlike in other nations, the kids born out of wedlock in America, have no male role model in their lives.

The news regarding testimony in the child rape cases against the former Penn State assistant football coach is unavoidable and disgusting. Also unavoidable is the fact that almost every single one of these men–then boys–had one thing in common: they were boys without a father who desperately wanted and needed one. They were kids of single moms. They needed a decent father in their lives, and they had none. That left a huge void for Jerry Sandusky to invade. “He was like a father to me,” said “Victim #3,” one of the men who was just a boy when he was raped repeatedly by Sandusky. He said he did not remember the last time he saw his real father. “He made me feel like I was part of something, like a family,” the victim said of Sandusky.

Don’t forget that these kids came to Sandusky through his Second Mile Foundation for troubled kids. They were troubled because they didn’t have a dad in their lives to show them how to be a man and a good citizen. We know that kids who do have a father are less likely to be involved with crime and drugs as many of the kids who ended up at the Second Mile Foundation.

These kids were desperate for a male role model in their lives. Their fathers shirked that responsibility and their mothers also shirked their responsibility to carefully choose one for their sons. Enter Sandusky. He took these boys out to eat, to sporting events, paid them attention–all the things the man who gave the sperm that created them should have been doing. All the things a good father does. And the thing a good mother does was lacking in the single mothers who gave birth to these sons. Yes, the single mothers in these instances bear a huge responsibility for what happened to their sons because of their lack of due diligence and lazy aversion to inquiry about the man who took such a strangely active interest in their sons. Both the sperm and egg/womb donors of these kids created the opportunity for Jerry Sandusky’s despicable predations.

A father is far more important in a child’s life than a mother, especially today, when women are not nurturers, but aggressive players in the workplace who are not home for their kids. A father shows his son how to treat women and how to grow up and mature. A father shows his daughter how a woman should be treated by a man. Kids (of both sexes) who don’t have this in their lives are more likely to accept abuse by men, as was the case with the boys who were Sandusky’s victims. They are less likely to mature properly or on pace and to become responsible adults and good Americans.

I was lucky. I had a father who loved me dearly and spent a lot of time with me and my siblings. He paid attention to us, was involved in our lives, and there to congratulate us when we did good, encourage us to do better when we did not, and scold and punish us when we did wrong. To make sure we ate and had a good night’s sleep, that we were properly cared for when we were sick. Jerry Sandusky’s victims didn’t have that. Instead, they had a rapist who filled the void and sometimes pretended to do these things.

If we were not so cavalier and carefree today about single motherhood; if we held both the men and women who casually give bodily fluids to create these kids, to a higher standard, maybe there would be fewer “Jerry’s kids.” Fewer victims. In fact, we know that’s not a maybe. It’s an undeniable fact. Ignoring that fact is tearing down our country in a way that Islamic terrorists and a bad economy never could.

Despite what any liberal, lesbian couple, single mother, or social engineer might tell you, there is NO family without a father. Period.

Today, if your dad is still here, thank him for taking responsibility, for protecting and sheltering you and teaching you life’s lessons so that you can pass this on to your children. If your father is gone-as mine is–remember these things and how fortunate you were to have some of his time on earth as your time. I definitely was, and it’s a gift that is priceless and oh so precious.

Thanks, Dad. I love you and I miss you.

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24 Responses

“Despite what any liberal, lesbian couple, single mother, or social engineer might tell you, there is NO family without a father. Period.”

Well stated, Debbie. Great article.

DS_ROCKS! on June 17, 2012 at 1:31 pm

No family without a father. Amen. When I hear a woman state “I don’t need a man in my life to have a baby”….I want to (well never mind).

Tasso on June 17, 2012 at 2:05 pm

And along these lines, we really ought to monitor teachers much more closely than we do. We are always reading accounts of teachers who are abusing pupils, and I’m sure that what gets reported is only a very small minority of the actual abuse cases.

Little Al on June 17, 2012 at 2:31 pm

I love my Dad and miss him!

Today and every day of the year, I think of him and wish he was still here.

He will always have a place in my heart.

NormanF on June 17, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Thank you DS! My heart feels like an alligator when you write such poignant columns as this one.

The two words that offend me most today are 1)single 2)mothers. They are selfish and rob their children of great things and lives.

Freedom is not free and even with freedom comes grand responsibility. Pick the right man and treat him like a king. Men matter and Dads count!

I miss my Dad everyday! Once your parents die it is so different. It’s humbling.

Skunky on June 17, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Wow. What a bitch slap to widowed mothers.

Robert on June 17, 2012 at 5:54 pm

    Grow up Robert. She did not say “divorced” or “widowed” mothers…she said SINGLE and it means something…and it’s NOT good. Grow up.

    Skunky on June 17, 2012 at 7:39 pm

    Robert, you should have someone read for you. Where did Debbie talk about widows. Very, very few single moms are widows. Also, there are many women who have children without even a thought about the father of their child apart from a child support check. Reading is Fundamental(RIF)

    Worry01 on June 17, 2012 at 10:08 pm

It’s a sad indictment of single moms, for the most part. The sandusky victims are added to the heap of victims that are abused and murdered by moms boyfriends all over the country. LIke some horrible instinct of the lowest order, the new boyfriend is driven to do horrible things to the offspring of the previous man of the house. Children of divorce do not end up well far too often.

samurai on June 17, 2012 at 7:16 pm

I thought homosexuality was not a problem? Didn’t Hussein Obama just say his daughters told him it was OK? In Canada Magnotta a homosexual porn actor and escort after years of posting videos on the internet of him drowning or sufficating kittens ke murdered a man then sexually entered the dead body then dismembered him then posted it on the internet. The fag POS was arested last week in Germany to be sent back this week.

In Toronto there is a gay group I mean homosexual group called by themselves “Queers against Israeli Apartheid.”

Homosexuality is a disease – the muslims do a total of one thing rigt – ie – what they do to homosexuals!

bob on June 17, 2012 at 7:25 pm

    Bob, didn’t you write this same piffle once before?

    skzion on June 17, 2012 at 9:58 pm

    The Canadian guy also indulged in a bit of cannibalism.

    Italkit on June 18, 2012 at 2:28 am

      Well of course, Italkit. He was from Canada.

      skzion on June 18, 2012 at 6:43 am

Debbie….After reading this,I gotta say that I disagree with lots of things you say. Yes, I agree with your criticism through the years about selfish single mothers or domineering feminists. However, this post came off to me as anti-mother (correct me if I’m wrong). In my life experience, I received tough love, encouragement, character development, and discipline from both of My Parents!!! When I was 15, my mom forced me to get a job while my dad was indifferent about it! For that, I am very grateful to her! My dad taught me how to be tough with harsh criticism which upset me at first. But I overcame it and it strengthened me. Working mothers CAN BE Good Mothers, A good is example is Yale Law Professor Amy Chua(“Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom”) who drilled schoolwork and musical instruments with her two daughters hours and hours a day. http://www.nypost.com/p/entertainment/why_love_my_strict_chinese_mom_uUvfmLcA5eteY0u2KXt7hM

I agree that it’s best for kids to have a mommy and a daddy. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. Not all single mothers are spoiled selfish bitches. Some are widows. Some got married to abusive monstrous pricks. They don’t deserve to be condemned for that, and neither do the children they raise (well unless they become criminals…and that is very common for kids raised by single moms). I respect why people disagree with gay parenting. After hearing both sides of the argument, I don’t know what position to take. I was very moved by hearing about Zach Wahls http://www.zachwahls.com/ . People don’t have to support gay rights, but they should at least try to understand homosexuality, and read what other psychologists besides what those “family groups” and the Bible(written thousands of years ago) have to say. I’m not a gay rights activist BTW! I was critical of them in my previous posts.
Some people had bad fathers growing up unlike you and Me.
Finally Debbie, I gotta say that I was really moved and touched through the years when you discussed your relationship with your father. After reading the tribute you wrote for him five years ago after his death, I said to myself “Wow…what a wonderful father and human being”. He sounds like a person who I would want to be friends with. I think it’s wonderful that you had a great relationship with your dad. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. Like I said, there are good moms and bad dads (as everyone can agree with).

Matthew on June 17, 2012 at 8:03 pm

“Like I said, there are good moms and bad dads (as everyone can agree with).”

That is about as meaningful as saying that there are some pit bulls who are as gentle as lambs. Also, some does not equal all or even most. A tree or two in the desert does not make a forest.

“Some are widows.”

Matt, are you living in the 1950’s? Most single mothers are not widows.

As for gay and lesbian families, I always take advocacy literature for what it is, namely advocacy. A study followed up on the fate of abortion recipients conducted by Planned Parenthood would be immediately suspect since that organization is heavily dependent upon such proceedures for its revenue. Referrals for adoption and contraceptives do not pay the leases for that organization. You would be waiting a very, very long time to see a “Jerry Sandusky” appear in such literature on same sex parenting, even though cases like his are not all that infrequent.

When an article or program gives an unremittingly(or nearly so) positive view of an alternative lifestyle, it should be viewed as suspect. Sister Wives and All American Muslim are recent examples of this sort of sugar coated or white washed genre. The realities of being in a polygamous family or a Muslim are excused away or actually ignored.

Worry01 on June 17, 2012 at 10:39 pm

    worry01: I said SOME are widows. I didn’t understand your reply before that about what I said Parents can be good or bad regardless of their gender (mom or dad).

    Matthew on June 17, 2012 at 10:51 pm

Thanks Debbie I miss my father and grandfather too. What you wrote is spot on.

Jake49 on June 17, 2012 at 11:18 pm

I’m sorry..is this a joke? This is a joke, right?

People aren’t really this stupid…. This Debbie person…is a comedienne?

Denise Lacy on June 18, 2012 at 12:03 am

I agree with the comment above by Denise. Some fathers are alcoholics or some are abusive physically/emotionally. There are many case studies out there that show many kids end up being raised properly in a single parent household, father or mother. Same applies to homes where both parents work. There are many single mothers that work and still properly take care of the family. My hats off to all single parents (father or mother).

M.Thomas on June 18, 2012 at 12:24 am

This “Denise Lacy on June 18, 2012 at 12:03 am”, is she a commodeanne? People aren’t really that stupid right?
Judging from the statistics, yes they are.
Of course Denise you’re just a typical liberal incapable of simple math like adding two and two so this discussion just might be way over your head.

theShadow on June 18, 2012 at 12:48 am

Debbie’s point here seems hard to contest. It is a real pain having to deal with the dysfunctional results of heterosexual bastardy.

skzion on June 18, 2012 at 6:46 am

DS has outdone herself. I am from Pennsylvania and following this closely. DS is the only commentator who has pointed out that Jerry Sandusky’s victims were fatherless and even more vulnerable than a child from a traditional family.

The Attorneys General of Pennsylvania, the chief law enforcement officer in Pennsylvania, have a lot to answer for. Ten years from crime of child rape to arrest implies the likelihood that there was a cover up to protect the billion dollar big business of Penn State football. This is a made for TV movie.

FYI Penn State is a $4 billion dollar tax exempt big business ‘not for profit’ corporation which has received $2 billion in Pennsylvania direct taxpayer subsidies in last ten years. The Pennsylvania Republican Senate Appropriations Chair, Jake Corman of the Corman dynasty, is from Centre County; Sen. Jake Corman, Appropriations Chair, is Penn State’s Senator…and he knew nothing of this?

bobguzzardi on June 18, 2012 at 9:55 am

I miss my Dad (z”l). He would’ve been 86 this June 21. It’s been 10 years March 13 since he passed. Yet I know that one day, I’ll meet him on the Other Side.

He may not have been the most perfect father, but I realized that had I listened to him more, I would’ve been more successful in life.

But I know that he wants me to have a good life. And I am still working to reach that level of happiness that my dad enjoyed by having my mom, my sister and me around.

I miss you, Dad. Happy Father’s Day, wherever you are.

The Reverend Jacques on June 18, 2012 at 10:56 pm

This article/opinion is half-truth. Yes, fathers are important-when they’re good. However, having a father does not automatically ensure a good child or home. There are many bad instances that occur even with a father in a household. Many single women raise good and productive children into adulthood. While it would be easier to have two parents, this is not always the best course of action, as determined by life’s little kicks.

Sherry on November 16, 2012 at 8:12 am

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