June 3, 2013, - 12:30 pm

Michael Douglas’ TMI: Old News that Oral Sex Causes Cancer; Schlussel FLASHBACK 2011: “Another Bill Clinton Dividend: Throat Cancer Rises in Men”

By Debbie Schlussel

The whole world seems to be abuzz about actor Michael Douglas’ revelation that he got throat cancer through oral sex. But it’s old news that oral sex can transmit cancer (nor is it information I needed Michael Douglas to share–he’s letting his role as Liberace get to him, it appears; or maybe trying to let us know that “we’re all like Liberace”–we aren’t). I wrote about it a couple of years ago on this site, in “Another Bill Clinton Dividend: Throat Cancer Rises in Men.”



“I Did Not Have ‘Sex’ With That Woman, Ms. Lewinsky.”

As I noted at the time, the rise on this cancer is in men, not women, and it’s projected to rise in men by 30% by 2020. As I also noted,

Bill Clinton dismissed it as not sex and something far more casual and less intimate. Thereafter, the numbers of people engaged in it went up. And with the feminist ethos that now dominates America (including in the Republican Party), the women insist on being, um, “equally serviced” (Bill Clinton’s cigar is no longer enough). Thus, the increase in throat cancer for men. And the scientists agree with me. Well, some of their findings do. Look at the years for when HPV-related throat cancer in men went up: 1988-2004. Yes, four years before Clinton/Monica and many years during and beyond.

Plus, the increase in this cancer in men versus a decrease in cervical cancer for women is a stark reflection in the disproportionate federal and private money spent on research and treatment of female-dominated cancers (breast cancer, cervical cancer) versus that spent on male-related (testicular, HPV throat) cancers and other non-gender specific cancers (pancreatic cancer, liver cancer, etc.).

But Michael Douglas got around too much. And resulting afflictions like this are to be expected, given that behavior. He was once hospitalized for an addiction, reportedly sex addiction. And people seem to forget that sleeping around transmits STDs from a virtual globe of sex partners. One of the great things about one of his best movies, “Fatal Attraction,” is that it showed that there are consequences, something we rarely see out of Hollywood and rarely hear in our Teen Mom/Kardashians/single-mom-dominated society, where Hugh Hefner’s lifestyle brand is passe because it’s become the de facto dominant lifestyle of our entire society. And it’s taking it down.

If you get around, expect to get a little karma. As they say, what goes around comes around. And this is yet another one of nature’s rewards for sleeping around at whim. There are always consequences, whether Hollywood and the left (and the right, which has now sort of accepted this lifestyle–see Bristol Palin and whomever is her latest sex partner du jour) want to acknowledge it or not.

If you wanna be Sodom and Gomorrah, you’re gonna get wiped out like Sodom and Gomorrah. You don’t need to be a virginal prude to get that. Or to get that all of this sleeping around/breakdown of American social values is the end of Western society without any help from Al-Qaeda (though it takes advantage of that).

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

36 Responses

Not just throat cancer — all oral cancer.

Little Al on June 3, 2013 at 12:40 pm

Y’know Debbie, about half an hour ago, no more, I was reading this disgusting story and wondering, “is Debbie Schlussel going to touch this one?”

I’m glad you did, in your usual hard hitting, pull no punches, tell it like it is way. Throughout the Bible, God’s Word, there is no compromise on what is repeatedly referred to as “sexual immorality.” You engage in it, you will suffer, in one way or another, at one time or another. Thank you for another great column.

Alfredo from Puerto Rico on June 3, 2013 at 12:44 pm

Although alcohol and tobacco are also risk factors.

Little Al on June 3, 2013 at 12:52 pm

It’s amazing that, considering the numerous skanks that Clinton and Douglas must have “dated,” they both don’t also have oral/throat herpes, AIDS, hepatitis A-Z,thrush mouth, and permanent bad breath.

Concerned Citizen on June 3, 2013 at 12:54 pm

    Bad breath? LOL Who’ve (what’ve) you been dating?

    Rick_Buggy on June 3, 2013 at 6:03 pm

      No one except my wife.

      Concerned Citizen on June 6, 2013 at 12:37 pm

How do you know they don’t, CC? Only their physicians could know for sure. Kind of like knowing the names of all the bodybuilders I worked out with who have had secret kidney transplants/dialysis treatments, liver diseases, stomach tumors, etc. I wouldn’t put anything past either one of those men, especially The Great StainMaker. Do you think people in high places can’t hide things? There are some interesting rumors about the “president” that have been discussed, and fairly well sourced, which I won’t go in to.

Alfredo from Puerto Rico on June 3, 2013 at 1:02 pm

    You’ve got a point. I don’t know if they had these other problems. But I’d rather not think about them. And with regard to Obama, I had heard about some trysts by him with other persons but I have not heard anything about some secret condition (other than being a communist, Muslim, etc.). Please provide a hint!

    Concerned Citizen on June 6, 2013 at 12:40 pm

I don’t buy into that notion that Hollywood “promotes” casual sex without consequences. It’s interesting that Debbie cites “Fatal Attraction” as an exception to the supposed rule. That 1987 film, though set in Manhattan, actually was directed by a Brit named Adrian Lyne. Let me tell you a bit more.

In 1993, Lyne would direct “Indecent Proposal,” which depicted an architect-husband in bad financial straits (Woody Harrelson) who accepts a million dollars from a wealthy stranger (Robert Redford) to have sex with his wife. Agreeing to be being cuckolded, the movie argued, even if only in a one-night stand, is a bad deal for a marriage. In 2002, Lyne directed “Unfaithful,” which won Diane Lane an Academy Award nomination for Best Actress. The afternoon trysts would end tragically for her lover at the hands of the husband, played by Richard Gere.

Adrian Lyne isn’t the only Hollywood director who spins effective morality plays favoring marriage. Indeed, I cannot think of a single mainstream film that celebrates or otherwise promotes sexual recklessness within marriage.

S: You cite one director and two films that are a decade and nearly two decades old. Michael Douglas’ recent films, for example, have a completely different message. DS

Seek on June 3, 2013 at 1:33 pm

Another way of looking at this, for people with lower numbers, but similar actions, is that no good deed goes unpunished.

samurai on June 3, 2013 at 1:38 pm

Michael Douglas is not going to be making much on Behind the Candelabra, since it has been relegated to the HBO garbage pile. Even mainstream movie studios felt that the potential audience for simulated sex between Michael Douglas and Matt Damon was not worth a low budget production. The story of an aging Las Vegas performer and his gold digging gigolo is not exactly prime material for any actor. I guess Douglas and Damon had some bills to pay.

Worry01 on June 3, 2013 at 1:53 pm

I don’t know about “he’s letting his role as Liberace get to him, it appears”.

If his role to Liberace was genuinely getting to him, he’d have kept his trap shut about it and taken that piece of information to the grave, no matter how obvious the cause (HPV) was as the origins of his cancer.

Robert on June 3, 2013 at 3:06 pm

Debbie and others here, when it comes to sexuality and sex-relations (samething can be said for pornography), I’m a “Classic Liberal”, whatever type of sexuality you and you’re partner are consenting in is none of NOONES business but yours and your partner. However, I support people having safe-sex and know what there doing when there consenting with one another, if they not aware what’ll happen if there not practicing safe-sex, then there to be blamed and should see their doctor and take a “sex test” to see whether or not there infected with a sexual disease or not.

And I also know at the sametime Debbie that you’re not saying that the state (government) should interfere in people’s private lives and sex-lives, I know you that you’re a classic-liberal when it comes to sexuality DS (as long there’s no pedophilia and beastiality). As for Michael Douglas, he ought to know better what he was doing when he performed oral sex on his partner, didn’t he know that if you consent in oral sex there might, just might be a risk of you getting STDs, syphilis, gonorrhea, etc. If you’re going to do oral sex, I think you should wash your private area and use lubrication on your private area and let it dry out (samething can be said for anal-sex)!

“A nation is defined by its borders, language & culture!”

Sean R. on June 3, 2013 at 3:24 pm

    Sean R – you are promulgating an old lie, falsehood, and oxymoron – “safe sex” does not exist, on any level. STD’s, pregnancy, and emotional trauma are some very common side effects. There is no such thing as “safe sex”

    Dale Zalaoras on June 3, 2013 at 7:36 pm

The big lesson that Clinton(the 1st official coke head president) taught America wasn’t that fellatio is an extreme form of heavy petting.
Nobody fell for that, even his supporters.
The lesson he taught America was that if you’re powerful and popular you can use people like toilet paper.
Then use your office to destroy their reputation when you get caught.
Lie about it to the entire world like you’ve being lying every day of your life.
Try to dodge the accusation with cheap semantics that aren’t even accurate like a 2 bit ambulance chaser while you sell the people that supported you down the river and pretend it’s a non issue created by outdated sexual prudishness.

The lesson learned after all of that is that people will still think of you as a charming rogue because of who you were and the “vision” of America you were supposed to represent.

Clinton’s presidency was really when America started coming off the rails and Bin Laden picked up on that during his administration.
America started substituting perception for reality like all dying nations and civilizations of the past have done. They give off a stink which barbarians throughout the ages have always recognized.

He lowered the bar for every politician that followed him because that’s how politics works these days.
We’re now on official coke head president no.3

Zarus on June 3, 2013 at 3:57 pm

    I believe that is a great analysis, Zarus. I have often pointed to The Reign of The Great StainMaker as being exactly what you noted, when we came off the rails. He destroyed whatever dignity was left in politics, especially the office of the presidency. It’s like the football coach who gets too familiar with his players. Even the best “player’s coaches” admit there has to be a dividing line in order to retain respect for the hierarchy, enforce true team spirit and carry out effective game plans. Great post.

    Alfredo from Puerto Rico on June 3, 2013 at 9:23 pm

Ah, we all know how 180 degrees off target scientists can be. They use to think the earth was flat. That the universe orbited the earth. Evolution. Rachel Carson alarmism about DDT. Global Warming. Scientists, what a bunch of hooey!!!

CornCoLeo on June 3, 2013 at 4:05 pm

He’s the son of actor Kirk Douglas and yes – he’s Jewish.

NF: Michael Douglas is not Jewish. His mother is/was not Jewish. DS

NormanF on June 3, 2013 at 4:10 pm


    That’s correct under Rabbinic Law! In Karaite Judaism, he’s considered a Jew since his father is a Jew and they follow the patrilineal interpretation of descent. The same is true for me also.

    NF: There is only one Jewish law, and he is NOT Jewish under it. Period. DS

    NormanF on June 3, 2013 at 9:44 pm

I’m a muff diver myself, but, I’m monogamous by belief and personal instinct and choice, and that saves people a lot of problems. Wouldn’t it be funny if Clinton’s face started rotting off because he got some bad poon tang?

RT on June 3, 2013 at 5:25 pm


    Jack on June 4, 2013 at 12:35 pm

This is enough to turn anybody off of oral sex. But, I will soldier on and take one for the team!

Rick_Buggy on June 3, 2013 at 5:59 pm

Kirk Douglas Amsterdam, NY, So what are we saying is Zeta-Jones has a case of rotten crotch. I always suspected Billy Boy Clinton, wouldn’t show his medical records because of all the sexually transmitted deseases he contracted from all the women he was raping as Gov. of Ark. This claim of cancer due to oral sex is just Hollywoods attempt to control more medical media thru some hasbeens illness or to sell some newly created drug on the market ready for sale and to boost the stock price.
Just like the other wacko Angie Jolie and earlier this year with Barbara Walters who took a much needed vacation and called it Shingles past on by some actor she hug at the Golden Globe awards or Oscars who cares. If you look beneath the surface its all about selling drugs, stocks and boosting some overpaid assholes media presence.

MANGOG on June 3, 2013 at 6:02 pm

Michael Douglas has evidently been taking some heat: http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/audio/2013/jun/03/michael-douglas-cancer-cunnilingus-transcript

Worry01 on June 3, 2013 at 6:33 pm

I wasn’t even going to touch this, but seeing men admit to this and even be proud is crazy because the whole practice is disgusting and cuckold/eunuch-like. In light of “women’s movement” outcomes where it’s acceptable for women to have multiple partners, here you have guys happily(?) lapping up where previous men have pounded and left their calm. Nauseating.

DS_ROCKS! on June 3, 2013 at 6:45 pm

A 30% increase in throat cancer from what base? In other words, are we talking about a tiny likelihood of getting it, increased by 30% of that tiny likelihood? In addition, where does this figure come from? A journalist? A peer-reviewed study at a good medical or epidemiological journal?

Note that heterosexual intercourse is also a risk factor for penile cancer. Given the prevalence of HPV (extremely high), does it follow that in the real world when a man marries, he should wear a condom with his wife? That may be “immoral” as well, but it would be a case where “sexual immorality” promotes life and good health, quite the reverse of what Alfredo asserted early in the comments.

skzion on June 3, 2013 at 7:01 pm

    Good observation. When Dana Reeve, Christopher Reeve’s widow, died of lung cancer (she didn’t smoke), the media put out stories that smoking doubled a woman’s chance for getting lung cancer. The stats were One percent for non-smoking women and Two percent for smoking women.

    Concerned Citizen on June 6, 2013 at 12:45 pm

I predict Michael Douglas will be dead by the end of summer. Famous people often put out some kind of public service message before they die of something caused by their bad behavior. “Don’t do what I did or this could happen to you.”

Red Randy on June 3, 2013 at 9:44 pm

My view – I don’t care about his sex life – none of my business! Gentlemen don’t ask. But people who sleep around deserve what they get.

I liked “Fatal Attraction” – the sex is amazing but in the end the morality play shows us that infidelity never brings out the best in us. I think cheating is wrong and while I’m open-minded about sex, I hold decidedly traditional views of sexual morality.

A shame its no longer in vogue in the popular culture!

NormanF on June 3, 2013 at 9:51 pm

Didn’t/doesn’t he also smoke? If he is/was a smoker, his statement, although possibly true, is just typical smoker/addict denial that smoking kills. Otherwise, whatever.

Pray Hard on June 4, 2013 at 11:02 am

Sorry, No one ever thought the earth was flat. As for the actual circumference, it has been known since 200 B.C.

burt on June 4, 2013 at 12:17 pm

Yeah Alfredo he’s the kind of operator you wish on your worst enemy. America signed up for it though.

Zarus on June 4, 2013 at 5:38 pm

No doubt about it, Clinton has the kind of face certain chicks like to sit on.

joesixpack31 on June 4, 2013 at 6:22 pm

    I understand his heart disease resulted from countless episodes of oxygen deprivation.

    Concerned Citizen on June 6, 2013 at 12:47 pm

I can hear millions of men in the country telling their wives this week “Honey I just can’t—I’ll get cancer”.

Regarding Douglas’ “revelation”, I call BS for a number of reasons. 1st they are desperately trying to sell Gardasil (which is supposedly an HPV vaccine) to both women AND men. People aren’t getting it though due to horrible side effects. So, I’d like to see Mike Douglas’ bank account–maybe a big “donation” for him announcing this ??

The other thing is that Hollywood folks are notorious liars when it comes to illnesses. It’s not a big secret that due to their sleeping around, many in Hollywood are HIV positive and many cases of death by cancer are really caused by Aids.
I’m not saying Michael Douglas has it, but as much as he slept around (especially in the 80s), the odds are that he does.

Finally if people can get oral cancer from cunnilingus, then should not there be an epidemic of throat cancer in the LESBIAN community ?? All of those reasons cause me to throw the BS flag on all of this.

jimmyPx on June 6, 2013 at 3:09 pm

jimmy – you might be right. It’s better for Douglas to say he got an oral cancer/disease from carousing with women than peter-popping with men. Remember Rock Hudson? I worked with a retired police officer 25 – 30 years ago who one time was assigned with another officer to guard John Wayne when he visited the city. While drinking with Wayne, they asked Wayne about Hudson and whether he fooled around with a bevy of beautiful women. Wayne shocked him and the other officer by saying that Hudson was a fruit. They thought Wayne was joking. This retired officer told me that after Hudson revealed himself. There have been rumors for years about other actors including Laurence Olivier.

Lesbian women have a very high rate of STD’s. The one group that ranks #1 for STD’s is homosexual men.

Concerned Citizen on June 8, 2013 at 12:24 pm

Leave a Reply

* denotes required field