June 17, 2013, - 12:37 pm

BREAKING: Incompetent Obama Immigration Chief John Moron Morton Resigning; UPDATE: Will Head Bank’s Compliance

By Debbie Schlussel

**** UPDATE: DebbieSchlussel.com has exclusively learned that ICE “Director” John Moron Morton is leaving Homeland Security to join Capital One in Tyson’s Corner to head the bank’s compliance. Now the joke is on the bank. Hey, maybe he can get more illegal aliens to open bank accounts there. ****

Barack Obama’s incompetent chief of Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) is leaving at the end of July, according to a letter he sent to ICE agents and personnel, this morning. His biggest accomplishment at ICE–not noted in the e-mail–is his creation of the title “Director” for the chief of ICE because he wanted to be seen as equal to the FBI Director (a laughable notion no matter what kind of name or lipstick you affix to the pig).



Although he did not specify his plans, Morton–who used ICE as his personal job search travel agency and used government resources and bodyguards to fly to the Academy Awards, Grammy Awards, and other showbiz awards ceremonies, as I exclusively reported on this site–is rumored to have a job with the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA). He was seeking an annual pay of at least $400,000, sources say.

Morton oversaw the complete emasculation of an already aimless agency and made it even more aimless. Under Morton’s hegemony, he spent his time excessively and improperly using ICE personnel as his personal bodyguards, promoting the gay Mafia within ICE (Morton is rumored to be bisexual), wasting government resources to fly to London and France to see his France-based girlfriend for booty calls, repeatedly demanding new Cadillac Escalades with specific interiors and exteriors to match other cars on his driveway (the government bought several Escalades because none was good enough for him and he kept rejecting them), and other silliness. And, as we exclusively reported on this site, Morton also created new, unnecessary cushy positions for his friends and cronies, who wanted to live the luxe life in Europe on your dime.

Morton had no experience in law enforcement and immigration. And he oversaw the end of workplace enforcement raids to clamp down on illegal aliens. He also oversaw the virtual elimination of arrests of any consequence of illegal aliens and transformed his aimless agency into one that largely enforces copyrights for mega-corporations, competes with local police to catch child predators, and seizes artifacts from innocent Americans on behalf of extremist Muslim and Communist countries.

Morton did nothing as his Chief of Staff, Suzanne “Stripper Pole” Barr, repeatedly sexually harassed male agents and he and some other agents joked about it in texting. Ultimately, Barr was forced to resign, after I exclusively broke news of a federal lawsuit by New York’s top Homeland Security official against Janet Napolitano, containing the allegations about Barr’s behavior. Affidavits in possession of the plaintiff–also disclosed exclusively on this site–contained sworn statements of Morton’s knowledge of and laughter in response to Barr’s behavior.

And Morton promoted fellow inexperienced incompetents, Daniel Ragsdale and Radha Sekar, to top positions within the agency. Under Morton’s watch, Sekar allowed an employee to “work” from home while the employee’s home was being remodeled, in exchange for the bribe of an exotic parrot and wasted money on dumb ICE spinning videos and matching spinning t-shirts. Also, under Morton’s watch, Ragsdale, who will run the agency until Barack Obama appoints a replacement for Morton, engaged in and continues to engage in illegal favoritism toward fellow gay male agents and harassment of straight male agents.

So, now, he’ll soon be gone from ICE and perpetrate his inappropriate behavior and incompetence on some stupid entertainment industry entity, reportedly the MPAA.

Don’t worry, though. I’m sure Janet Napolitano will help Barack Obama find another equally–if not more–incompetent, unqualified “leader” to head the sinking ship that is ICE.

Like “Lord of the Flies,” it goes from one imminent disaster to another.

You should note that at least one person high up in ICE, whom I respect, says that Morton is more “thoughtful” and bright than Bush’s incompetent ICE Princess, Julie L. Myers. But, hey, all things are relative.


Below is the text of Morton’s kiss-off letter:

From: ICE-Broadcast
Sent: Monday, June 17, 2013 10:43 AM
Subject: A Message from Director John T. Morton
Importance: High

A Message from Director John T. Morton

To all ICE employees

June 17, 2013

Director Morton’s Farewell Announcement

After 20 years of service, I will leave government at the end of July to work in the private sector.

Leading this agency has been an honor and a privilege, and I will always be thankful for the opportunity to work with you these past four years.

I am extremely proud of what we have accomplished together during that time and look with awe on the incredible progress ICE has made as an agency. ICE has truly come of age and become an innovative, leading force in federal law enforcement.

Indeed, when one steps back, it is amazing to think about how broadly ICE advances the cause of public safety and homeland security in this country each and every day:

· We investigate a wide range of offenses from child exploitation and human trafficking, to counterfeiting and trade violations, to the theft of art and antiquities and the smuggling of arms, drugs, and money;

· We arrest and remove criminals throughout the entire criminal justice system;

· We prosecute every removal case brought by the Department with much needed focus, prioritization, and discipline;

· We manage nearly six billion dollars in funding in a manner that is efficient, innovative, and responsible; and

· We operate in every state in the union and 48 countries overseas.

At the end of the day, however, it is the people of ICE who I have enjoyed most. The men and women of this agency have taken ICE to heights few could have imagined in this agency’s short ten-year existence.

During those ten years, ICE has evolved into a sophisticated law enforcement agency that is a force both at home and abroad.

While I hope I have advanced some measure of the cause in my own way, I can take little credit for this dramatic evolution. The credit lies with you, and I am deeply grateful for your contributions to ICE’s success and I am so proud of what you have achieved.

To you and your families, I simply say thank you.

While I am leaving public service, know that I will think of you and ICE fondly for the rest of my days.

I am very confident that ICE will continue its steady rise to the top and that you, the employees, will remain the agency’s finest asset.


John T. Morton


U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement

Buh-bye, John Moron. Don’t let the door hit ya on the way out.

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52 Responses

He bears a disturbing resemblance to a combination of the guy who played Niles Crane on Frasier and Shepard Smith. His letter of resignation is even more disturbing, as it shows that better and more responsible leadership can be found in the average first grade class at an inner city school, especially in light of Debbie’s revelations about this menace of a human being.

Being that he such a sexual dynamo covering so many of the rainbow coalition of genders, he will never find a more true home than in his new job. As a matter of fact, he may even be the one who gets to produce what I predicted many years ago, that one day we will have XXX rated pornography on major network prime-time television.

If I wasn’t so consistently disgusted by what is going on in our society, and didn’t read the Bible so much, I would have stepped in front of a train a long time ago. There are plenty of Metro North stations up there in N.Y. State where Amtrak and express Metro North trains regularly pass through at speeds up to 80 mph. 500 tons, 120 feet per second. You do the math. But God wouldn’t like that, so I’ll continue to read Debbie’s columns, and be The Fool On The Hill.

Thank you Debbie, for bringing us the truth, in a nation almost completely starved for it.

Alfredo from Puerto Rico on June 17, 2013 at 1:15 pm

Debbie, the resignation of Morton does not call for celebration. Why? Because Obama will appoint someone just as bad, if not worse than him, and the Republicans in the Senate will be too chicken sh-t to mount a filibuster or block the nomination. Oh. a few like Rand Paul will pose before the cameras, but in the end, they will follow Senatorial morons McCain and Graham cracker, and vote for the nomination. They will say, “It is the President’s prerogative,” forgetting about their Constitutional responsibilities to ADVISE and CONSENT (or DENY, implicit in the responsibilities of a Senator).

I wish we had a Republican Party, instead of a Retard Party (and if I have offended anyone by the use of the word “Retard,” too bad).

JEG: As I noted in the piece,

Don’t worry, though. I’m sure Janet Napolitano will help Barack Obama find another equally–if not more–incompetent, unqualified “leader” to head the sinking ship that is ICE.

Like “Lord of the Flies,” it goes from one imminent disaster to another.


Jonathan E. Grant on June 17, 2013 at 1:20 pm

I didn’t see any celebration in Debbie’s article. She’s too smart for that. Your own post was right one, as most, if not all of your stuff is. Always enjoy reading your replies, Mr. Grant.

For those who will be offended by your use of the “R” word, allow me to clean it up for you.

The purpose of the dynamic breaking system on railroad locomotives, is to RETARD the downward force caused by the weight of the train on a descent from a point of higher altitude to lower altitude.


Alfredo from Puerto Rico on June 17, 2013 at 1:28 pm

Yes, he would be incompetento if he wasn’t doing exactly what he was intended to do

migraine-boy on June 17, 2013 at 2:03 pm

Well, one bright side to his resignation is that you will still be able to keep tabs on him. If he is involved with motion pictures, you can review his job activity on a regular basis in your film reviews.

Little Al on June 17, 2013 at 2:59 pm

John Morton, Julie Myers — where do we get these people to run ICE?

Seek on June 17, 2013 at 3:34 pm

It is just sad for me, a six year ICE employee, that ICE can’t get competent, experienced leaders in high positions. ICE does have a lot of really, really good leaders but I don’t see them in high leadership positions. Mostly, those guys with any real experience are beaten down by the system and most in “high” positions don’t seem to like “Law Enforcement Types” even though ICE is SUPPOSED to be a law enforcement agency! Sad that most at ICE (including myself) don’t do ANY real law enforcement duties, just bide our time till the end of work whistle sounds. A man can dream can’t he? Can we get a guy or girl as Director that has actually carried a gun, badge and has actually handcuffed someone before?

LA ICE Guy on June 17, 2013 at 3:41 pm

This comes as absolutely no surprise whatsoever to us in ICE; his departure has LOOOOOONG been rumored since I was at HQ, and I’m surprised any private sector entity took him at all.

Buh-bye and good riddance – his departure announcement today is being met with frigid indifference by those within the agency – the debacle that is ICE has so demoralized field-level employees (who now day trade, flip real estate or attend on-line school on G-Time) that absolutely no one cares.

And it won’t make a difference who takes his place, either – be it a warm human body or a warm puppy (literally (and probably FAAAARRRR more competent, too)), the current political and financial malaise that straddles ICE outweigh, by PARSECS, any attempts being made on the field to impact criminal investigations. When agents are being told to park cars, that they can’t travel, when there’s no money to pay informants, etc., what they are really being told is to sit there, look pretty and to STFU.

No worries – $140 K a year for nothing is not such a bad deal at all … If the taxpayer REALLY, TRUUUUULY only knew …

StillShakingMyHead on June 17, 2013 at 3:47 pm

@LA Ice Guy …

I am 20 + years in Federal service at a number of different levels – I solemnly assure you I have NEVER, EVER seen things so bad.

There was a day, not so long ago, when agents had to be dragged kicking and screaming out the door when they were mandatory – they loved this job SOOOOO f**king much (truly), that the end of this job was often the end of their life – I personally knew an agent who was so miserable after he retired he died of a massive heart attack 6 months after his last day.

Now? People can’t get the f**k out fast ENOUGH, and are preparing for second careers in ANYTHING beyond this foolishness, even if it’s at their first available opportunity. I know of one agent who became a bar owner after he retired – imagine that.

Oh, to what depths we have fallen.

StillShakingMyHead on June 17, 2013 at 3:55 pm

    Very, very sad. But what do you expect in a country where another lunatic Mullah in charge of Iran is seen as “moderate.”

    Incidentally, as cato the Censor ended every speech with “Carthage must be destroyed,” let me start ending mine: “Teheran must be destroyed.” Iran is our biggest threat.

    Occam's Tool on June 17, 2013 at 9:32 pm

Bisexual? Would gays and hookers want a thing to do with that fuggly boob? I don’t believe in bisexuality. You are into either one or the other. If you’re “Bi” your either severely mentally ill, a closet gay or an opportunistic narcissist or sociopath…which may be redundant. Nice try, Moron Morton!

I had never seen someone have such a long, drawn out public job search. At least 3 Super Bowls came and went before this buffoon got a job. Capital One is one of the most crooked CC companies so he’ll make a splendid match. Bon Voyage you Bozo!

When @ the gym I often see Julie Myers-Wood on CNN as an ‘expert’. I only know of her from articles on this site. Luckily, one must plug in their headphones into the equipment to hear the TVs. I never do. She’s a good match for horrible CNN. She looks and comports herself just as you have described her in previous articles.

Skunky on June 17, 2013 at 6:29 pm

    Skunky, there are indeed bisexuals who aren’t wackjobs. However, most of those who claim to be bisexual are either gay/lesbo or are so strongly inclined to one side that they are effectively gay/lesbo. I expect you’re thinking of gay guys who marry, have children, proclaim they are “bisexual,” and divorce. Give them 5 years, and they will probably just say they are “gay.” Despite what Woody Allen asserted, I do not think that public bisexuals are really just doubling their chances. In fact, they are substantially reducing them–or so it has seemed to me.

    skzion on June 17, 2013 at 8:10 pm

      Skzion, I think we mostly agree. I do thinks “Bi”s are either gay or straight. I don’t like them. During the years the gays were really fighting for their rights the bisexuals sauntered over to the straight side and were no help to the gays. And the gays knew and resented this, quite rightly. The gays did all the fighting and the “Bi”s got benefits of such.

      I don’t think of a gay guy who marries as “Bisexual”. I focus on the damage he has done to wife and kids rather than the labels. He wasn’t strong enough to be true (which I strongly suggest) and causes much damage. Very selfish.

      Skunky on June 17, 2013 at 10:52 pm

    Skunky: exactly – no such thing as “bi.” It’s a nonsensical term created for political reasons.

    The litmus test is simple: if at any point in time you can get aroused at the sight of a man’s orifices and are thus capable of copulation thereof, then you are a homosexual.

    If you engage in sex with a woman intermittently, then you are simply a homosexual who occasionally boinks women. Nothing erases or supersedes the first test.

    DS_ROCKS! on June 18, 2013 at 4:33 pm

As I have often posted on this site in response to my fellow agents’ criticism of the senior political leadership, the direction of this agency with regards to immigration enforcement is set high above where the ICE Director sits. In that sense Debbie is very correct, the directorship of ICE has no similar level of influence and independence as FBI. Similar sized agency of armed officers, yes, ability to set his/her own course—no way. For ICE under Morton, the concentration of interior immigration enforcement was focused on criminal aliens, human traffickers, and administratively dealing with employers without making civil arrests at worksites. These are things the administration was not going to get much push back on from their base. Also, almost half our agents still do narcotics investigations, which rarely get negative press attention, and we get lauded for our efforts fighting child exploitation. All of these areas are much less controversial than real immigration enforcement, which, would aggressively go after employers, have zero tolerance for any illegal alien encountered, and generally eschew prosecutorial discretion. The White House is just not interested in pursuing this, plain and simple. Unfortunately, under Obama, Morton is about as good as we were going to get.

Morton was qualified for the job though. He was a former attorney with INS, then a Federal prosecutor, then a Justice Department official as an acting Deputy Attny General. According to his bio on the websites, 15 total years with DOJ before coming to ICE. A much more relative resume than that held by Julie Meyers or even Michael Garcia (his predecessors). All that experience though means nothing if you don’t possess the political stature necessary to push back against the administration.

What we need is someone with not just expertise and experience, but someone with a track record of running a large organization, be it Federal civilian, private sector, or military, who also has a reputation and standing in the law enforcement community. We need someone who the Secretary and the President would listen to and seek out for advice, rather than someone who would simply salute and march on. But I can guarantee you that although that is what the agency,and this country, needs, no way Obama appoints someone like that. The best we can hope for is someone who knows the subject matter of immigration and customs law enforcement and has experience managing large organizations. Unfortunately, there are scant few of those.

Here’s what we ARE going to get: a political hack. For recent reference, look at the proposal for CIA deputy–a woman who has been in Government a mere 12 years and has ZERO intelligence experience aside from hearing the reports. A woman who in the 90’s wasn’t chasing Bin Laden, or scouring intel for the next threat, but instead was the owner of a Baltimore bookstore that hosted erotica reading nights. I feel so much safer. Think we’re going to get better than the #2 at CIA?

Regardless of who is in leadership, the taxpayers pay us to do the best we can. You might not be able to make the best cases with scant resources, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make cases that still have an effect. Anyone day trading, real estate selling, or class taking needs to get off their ass and do what they were paid to do, because like as not, you’re going to hate the next appointee too (and probably with good reason).

please on June 17, 2013 at 6:39 pm

    Please, please. Moron Morton’s abuse of this position disqualified him from holding it, even if your claims regarding his background were accepted.

    In addition, it doesn’t matter how many years one is at X position. It matters what one has done in that position. Do you care to expand on what the Moron has done?

    skzion on June 17, 2013 at 8:17 pm

@Please …

“Regardless of who is in leadership, the taxpayers pay us to do the best we can. You might not be able to make the best cases with scant resources, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make cases that still have an effect. Anyone day trading, real estate selling, or class taking needs to get off their ass and do what they were paid to do, because like as not, you’re going to hate the next appointee too (and probably with good reason).”

Really? Puh-leeze … This agency has been in a slow downward spiral since its inception in 2003, and that spiral has accelerated in the last 2-3 years with decreased funding.

We are a Federal and trans-national law enforcement agency: When agents are parking cars; when agents cannot even effect basic travel to further cases (and don’t give me that collateral bullshit, because NO agent in another office will work a case the way the main case agent will work it); when agents can’t pay to cultivate and maintain informants – and, then, Morton, Dinkins and Co. traipse down to sunny Miami in November 2012 at the cost of $30,000 for a patented “town hall” meeting to tell the agents there that the agency has no money (yeah, EVERYONE knows about THAT debacle); when the agency is shutting down UC operations instead of EXPANDING them to work off of proceeds …

What the agency is REALLY telling you is that the work is not valued and won’t be supported. All who we will catch are the weak and the stupid and, hey, the FBI can do that, as can local PDs.

Get real, my man … Oops, gotta run … I have to flip my next house …

StillShakingMyHead on June 17, 2013 at 8:21 pm

I expect that things will not change until the first WMD hits American soil. My guess, if I was an evil Mullah?

Put a dirty bomb in Galveston bay and irradiate Texas City. Easy to get a lead lined containder ship, and a Hiroshima sized bomb is not truly that big.

After that, we will surrender or get rid of the Libtards and get down to business, American style.

Occam's Tool on June 17, 2013 at 9:36 pm

    OT, where the hell have you been? Please visit more often.

    skzion on June 17, 2013 at 11:03 pm

      I second that, Skzion.

      I’m always glad to see OT on the thread! 😀

      Skunky on June 18, 2013 at 9:48 am

No matter how broke they say we are, how much you want to bet they still have a WIFLE Conference this year?


SMW: Please do not use my photo as your icon. I’m not you, and you aren’t me. DS

sTIFLE my Wifle on June 17, 2013 at 9:55 pm

    Of course they have a WIFLE conference this year. No doubt Johnny Morton will be attending to represent all the female officers in ICE who would like to go but can’t due to budget concerns.

    The location for the conference gives Johnny the perfect chance to get in some golf with the Hollywood big wigs so he can line up his moonlighting jobs for extra cash after he starts working for Capital One.

    belugajedi on June 17, 2013 at 10:17 pm

And there’s this:

The Los Angeles-based National Day Laborer Organizing Network, which focuses on workers’ rights, heralded Morton’s his departure as “tremendous news.”

“The president now has an opportunity to close the gap between his rhetoric and his policies on immigration,” the organization’s legal director, Chris Newman, said in a statement. “Was ICE a rogue agency, or was it just following orders? While we celebrate the removal of Morton, the deportation machine he helped build remains in place.”

The “deportation machine” made it a point to avoid non-criminal aliens. Just wait to see who we get appointed next if the shills for foreign invaders like the above get their way. In a sense, it might please some in the agency, because we can then abandon any pretense of investigating immigration related crimes.


I understand your frustration, but I managed to make cases with no money for informants for many investigations over the years. We have such a wealth of laws to enforce and leads to follow, there is always a case that can be made on the cheap. The cases may not be as big and complex, but people can work more of them. Is it the best way? Of course not, but it doesn’t mean people should crawl up in their cubicle and cry into their keyboards. Go out there and earn your 100+K, we’ve got plenty of people clamoring for us to enforce laws where they have a vested interest that can be worked from cooperating witnesses. This is especially true with IPR cases, JTTF cases, commercial and immigration fraud, etc. There’s always someone with an axe to grind or a constituency to represent willing to work with us for free.

No doubt it sucks in ICE now and will likely get worse, but there’s no excuse for laying down on the job.

please on June 17, 2013 at 10:20 pm

    Uh, please, I spent good time commenting about your post. Why do you ignore me?

    skzion on June 17, 2013 at 11:06 pm

John Morton will be heading Capital One’s compliance? Would that enable Capital One to get away w/ breaking the law, or would it just ensure that they get wrong advise, and end up in violation of whatever statues he’s supposed to help enforce?

Infidel on June 18, 2013 at 3:12 am

@Please …

Look, I don’t disagree with you, per se, about work ethic, and my last comment about real estate was, ummm, “flip-pant” sarcasm?

Humor aside, I also am a student of human nature – I can tell you about how MANY, if not MOST, people will react given a set of inputs and parameters, and I can tell you that the behavior I have described previously is spot-on given my broad and deep interaction with agents around the country.

Past the pure budget issues. I think the REAL reason for the discontent is the “Do as we say, but don’t do as we do” mentality amongst management, at a time when credibility should be the hallmark of their standing with rank-and-file employees.

For example, how can you tell agents there’s no money for investigative travel, but high-ranking managers are gallivanting about the country for “town halls” to tell us there’s no money? How can you be dismantling UC operations (that work off of proceeds) at a time when regular, OCDETF and HIDTA funding is at a premium? How can you have WIFLE, NOBLE and other niche conferences when investigative symposiums are beings canceled? How can you tell agents to park cars and drive their POVs, but then senior managers are working “remotely, and are on the phone” (REALITY: WORKING FROM HOME)? How can you tell HQ staff who are languishing in DC, having volunteered to take 14s at a time you couldn’t get Satan himself to go, that they may have to take downgrades and pay their own moves back, but certain SACs are promoting their cronies to 15s without so much as a day of HQ time?

Please? PUH-LEEZE !!! THAT is when HUMAN NATURE kicks in – when people see the blatant hypocrisy and the bullshit, and decide that, if this is how they are going to be treated, that there is more than one way to skin a cat. Wise up, my friend – I think what I am describing is going to be the norm for some time, until senior management leads from the front, and takes the pinch and feels the pain like the field agents do.

Until THAT happens, I think $DJI short at 11000.00 on a 90 day contract is a good pick 😉 …

StillShakingMyHead on June 18, 2013 at 8:01 am

The Peter Principle is alive and well. Quick – get your money out of this bank before this idiot starts “Complying.” I understand that his first act when starting work at the bank will be to get larger, stronger chains to hold down the pens at customer desks. ——-another genius heard from……..

Victoryman on June 18, 2013 at 9:29 am

Since “bank compliance” is a complete joke, doesn’t exist and or is simply moot, he should fit right in.

Pray Hard on June 18, 2013 at 9:53 am

WIFLE will have a conference with Suzy Barr as their guest speaker, “Moron” Morton will be doing Cap One commercials with Baldwin, and life will be good in CandyLand.

I couldn’t even shake my head or laugh at the “accomplishments” he listed in his “Adios Suckers” letter; if that’s any indication of what he’s bringing to the new job I look for them to be tanking soon. I know what’s in my wallet and it’s never been, nor will it be, “Crap”ital One.

IceNoMore on June 18, 2013 at 12:08 pm

Unfortunately Morton didn’t retire sooner. Maybe I would have stayed. But Morton was just a symptom of the disease called apathy that’s been allowed to exist within ICE/HSI for YEARS.

This agency has become a launching pad up the career ladder for incompetent and inexperienced “overnight wonders”. Experienced veteran agents are leaving in droves as their career ladders have been cut down and it’s only the “chosen few” who are taken care of. Requirements for accuracy in reports….. nah, don’t worry about that. Work loads evenly distributed….nah, don’t worry about that. Favorable treatment to some, but not others…. yup, that’s the way HSI rolls now.

Don’t tell me it doesn’t happen. I’ve seen it.

What a mess!!!! As many others did, I retired. That was the best decision I could have made.

ICEDover on June 18, 2013 at 1:08 pm


    Spot on! I saw more than my fair share when I was in which was one of many deciding factors to pull the pin early and GTFO!

    What a pathetic goat rope of an “agency”…..

    IceNoMore on June 18, 2013 at 5:45 pm

The bottom line is that ICE is not a law enforcement agency. Never has been, never will be. ICE is just a reformulated INS, an agency which is an adminstrative enforcement entity. ICE is more akin to parking enforcement.

King David on June 18, 2013 at 10:07 pm

    Queen David, the Chatty Cathy of the blog.

    skzion on June 18, 2013 at 10:47 pm

Metermaids, yep! Morton did such a good job that in the very near future, American citizens will be foreigners in their own country. Great job penis breath!

#1 Vato on June 18, 2013 at 10:33 pm

@StillShakingMyHead @Please @ICEDover @IceNoMore

As I have about another 15 years before I can “pull the pin”, I have to think of this as a marathon and not a sprint. I have been VERY disappointed with things I have seen at ICE and continue to see. However, I do agree with @Please that us line agents still need to do our best and do our jobs. I’m proud of some of my colleagues at ICE (and myself), who, have still managed to get in a little law enforcement over the last couple of years and who will continue to do so in the future. That’s no b.s. that’s the truth. @King David, REAL law enforcement DOES actually take place within ICE from time to time but it’s few and far between. However, that don’t mean it doesn’t EVER happen! Never know, ICE might be coming one dark morning to pick you up and 86 you from the U.S.A.! Lol

LA ICE Guy on June 19, 2013 at 2:38 am

SSMH and ICEDover:

I don’t disagree with the points you are making about the effect on people that the environment has. A lot is unfair or inefficient. It CAN affect your work, but doesn’t mean it has to. Everyday you can read in those email highlights about great cases having been made. If they can do it, so can anyone else. It’s the American work ethic.

King David – you are still a worthless troll. About two thirds of HSI criminal investigative work is narcotics, financial, child porn, counter-proliferation, or other primarily Customs violations. How is that administrative enforcement? The leadership is 90% former Customs. Case management, most workplace regulations, and organizational structure came over from Customs. As I have said before, this agency is nothing like the old INS (a good thing), probably only 15% of our agents are legacy INS now. Attempts to put everything at the foot of a dead agency and a shrinking cadre of former INS employees is pathetic excuse making.

LA ICE GUY – You’ve got the right idea. You’ve got 15 years to go and can write your own story with this agency, make it something better than it was or is. That’s what we all get paid to do. Good luck.

please on June 19, 2013 at 8:55 am

@ “please” and “LA ICE guy”,

I commend LA ICE guy on his attitude. I certainly wish him more success at expanding his career than I had. I do have some advice for you; if you intend on trying to make the ascent up the HSI career ladder or diversify you career……. START NOW and be prepared to kiss butt. Don’t be shocked by what you see, its normal. With 15 years left start planning for your retirement NOW!! Here’s another pearl of retirement wisdom (especially if your looking for a post G job); nobody wants you if you’ve done nothing but immigration or narcotics work. Post G employers are looking for money laundering and computer skills/certifications.

With about 7 to ten years remaining before I retired, I started applying for GS positions and moves into other disciplines. On one occasion a person who’s application was dated AFTER the closing date was selected for a particular position. After that, it seems as though I was black listed because I brought this selection to HQ management attention.

With almost 20 years “on the job”, I felt I was ready for a GS position. I was constantly approached by other agents for advice and direction. I also felt I was ready to supervise. I may not have scored a perfect score on the written test, but on one occasion I was told I scored perfect on the interview. Several times on the selection list result in ZERO.

While in an AGS role, I brought an “inaccuracy” in a report to the TFO author and his supervisor. It was my responsibility to review and approve that report. Since I knew the facts to be different, I would not approve it. My GS returned, I was not selected to act after that. Any attempts to further my career were then (in my opinion) inhibited.

If it had not been for the support and respect of my fellow co-workers (the working agents) the last few years of my career would have been miserable.

I’ve seen agents try to do work, initiate cases, assist in complex cases where they feel they can contribute in a meaningful way only to be BOXED out of meetings and other case related functions.

I wish LA ICE guy all the luck in the world and my best wishes for a long and safe career. One thing you cannot tell me is that it’s ALL “on the level”. My experiences would indicate otherwise.

ICEDover on June 19, 2013 at 10:57 am

While it is true that ICE/HSI has a lot of former Customs personnel in it, ICE was crafted and built on using INS as its model. ICE’s standards, administrative structure, processes, and methodologies are a replication of the INS.

HSI has the lowest standards in the federal government for its investigators (just like the INS before it). There are no educational standards (not even a high school degree is required), there are no physical standards, and there are no requirements regarding knowledge, skills, or abilities. Gang or criminal organization membership or association will not bar someone from becoming an HSI agent. A good percentage of HSI agents are overweight and/or unkempt (there are virtually no appearance standards). One does not even have to be able to speak, read, or write English at any level to be employed in ICE. In many instances, private security guards actually have higher standards than HSI special agents.

The government could realize a huge savings by converting ICE special agents to 1801 alien detention officers who are not covered by a law enforcement retirement, getting rid of ICE, and placing the responsibility for the care, maintenance, and transportation of the illegal aliens in custody with Customs and Border Protection.

If ICE was a real law enforcement agency, then ICE would have real law enforcement standards for its personnel.

It is any real surprise then that the leader of ICE would be so lacking?

King David on June 19, 2013 at 12:45 pm

Icedover’s and King David’s posts are extremely accurate assessments of what life is like at HSI today; extreme incompetence and inexperience that is rewarded by extremely incompetent and inexperienced management that have for the most part NEVER worked a criminal investigation in their careers, and don’t care either.

HSI “Special Agents” have been converted into nothing more than
glorified, over-paid Deportation Officers, and that is an insult to DRO because they ARE doing all the work, and getting paid a lot less.

CBP has made more strides and gained more respect amongst the law enforcement community than the fumbling, bungling, laughing-stock-of-an-agency known as HSI.

And its not entirely the agents fault, although a lot do acquiesce and become legends in their own minds, psychopathically thinking that they are seasoned, experienced agents just because they show up to work and kiss management ass (That in itself is laudable because, have you seen some of them asses floating around SAC offices?).

GS-13 and above has become nothing more than a pay grade at HSI, it does not denote experience and accomplishment.

At the SAC Chicago there is dysfunction; the SAC secretary somehow is delusional in thinking that she is an assistant SAC, bullying and bossing agents and G/S’s around, talking down to them, as do many of the clerks; There is a “chief of staff” agent that has no law enforcement experience, and has embellished his experience on applications, yet somehow was selected for that position over many qualified agents; the list of incompetent, buffoons goes on and on. In short, there is no leadership at HSI, just a bunch of Clowns whose sole purpose is to strive to get the highest pay grades that they can, while they can.

There exists a lack of respect for special agent/criminal investigators at HSI and that is a direct result of having upper management that were never “law enforcement types” or any other kind of law enforcement professional, never been to any academy, let alone conducted a real criminal investigation.

Respect for special agents has been eroded over the years by Clown management, legends in their own feeble minds. This is only the “tip” of the “ICE”berg.

Mr. MF Jones on June 19, 2013 at 1:59 pm

@King David

If that be the case, then why were the majority of HQ management legacy Customs, all the initial forms used still had the Customs logo on them, everyone had to transition to legacy Customs reporting, had to do ROI’s, even down to the your travel reimbursement….all copied after legacy Customs. Oh yeah, let’s not forget the beloved “BQL” to get considered for jobs which was merely a “Best Qualified Laplicker” because you had to be a member of the legacy Customs Golden Boy club to even dream of being considered.

I don’t know what ICE agency you worked in but the one I saw take over was exactly that. BTW…a lot of your Customs boys could have stood to be on a diet themselves. Time to snap out of your dream…..

IceNoMore on June 19, 2013 at 2:01 pm

    The reason for all the Customs paperwork was because none of that existed at ins, in the big leagues there is chain of custody, evidence processing and grand jury storage, reports of investigation, none of that fly by the seat of the good ol’ boreder patrol pants, shit kicker wearing, coyote shit tracking, cactus copulation ins bullshit.

    That was easy!

    QTD on June 19, 2013 at 2:23 pm

The reason “90%” of ICE management was former Customs is because Customs agents had far superior credentials and experience than the ins Clowns, the government’s not THAT stupid!

Now, the bulk of Customs agents have left or retired, leaving a huge vacuum in management, and with Affirmative Action Quotas many former ins Clowns are being promoted, leading to the further demise of a once great agency, and closing the chapter on Customs, with HSI forever being labeled a “non-law enforcement” agency.

Mr. MF Jones on June 19, 2013 at 2:12 pm

Nice to see the “Off ” Brothers, Jag and Fuck, finally came out of the closet….

IceNoMore on June 19, 2013 at 4:57 pm

We did the jobs you spineless little dweebs didn’t have the stones to do…you’d rather hide in your precious little POE’s or under your RAC’s desk.

IceNoMore on June 19, 2013 at 4:59 pm

@Please and @ LA ICE Guy …

Again, you are telling me and many others how you think things SHOULD be, as compared to realizing them for what they ARE, based upon my prior comments, which I will not repeat here.

Again, while I don’t disagree with the philosophical base, I am also a pragmatist rooted in the real world – idealistic altruism does NOT motivate many people (some, but not many); adherence to ethics and integrity by leadership (not “Do as I say, but don’t do as I do”), tools to do the job and recognition of EVERYONE’s contribution (not just a select few) DOES.

BTW – @ LA ICE GUY. Just remember, beyond the “kissing of butt” as has been prior mentioned, be careful not to sell your soul to the devil and become who management currently is, that is, if they are piss-poor motivators and hypocrites. There is a certain employee in my office who is now the SAC’s right-hand; once a very affable and agreeable person, this agent has now ascribed to all the negativity, sarcasm and other demeaning qualities that 95 % of this office despises – all this on the way to an alleged 14 and, now that the career path has gone “va-moose”, maybe a 15 without ever having gone to HQ. Many have already said that, if this person is ever made a 14, they would seek a transfer off of whatever group he/she is assigned to, and might even find a way to file on management just on the “f**k with the ‘man'” factor alone.

Also, note well: Grade does not necessarily equal gravitas or power, and I have learned that lesson time and again in my 20+ years of Federal service and in my 6 prior years in the private sector – I know JANITORS who know FAR more the secrets of “where the bones are buried” and how to “get things done” than some power-drunk management types, and THESE are the people that others go to for sage advice and counsel regarding their careers. So, to say it another way – “The toes you may step on today going up the ladder just might be connected to the ass you may have to kiss tomorrow when you are thrown off”.

Just ask Rob Schoch and Jen Silliman the validity of THAT statement.

StillShakingMyHead on June 20, 2013 at 8:23 am

Both Rob Schoch and Jen Silliman are examples of everything that is wrong with ICE. Both rocketed up the management chain with no law enforcement experience, they had an open affair, they both used their respective positions for personal gain, and they reportedly pilfered hundreds of thousands of dollars of government funds. Both Schoch and Silliman suffered no punishment, not even loss of their jobs; both are still employed by ICE, now with less “responsibilities,” but at the same pay.

ICE behaves like INS before it. I can still remember when INS had high level managers that were former illegal aliens.

King David on June 20, 2013 at 1:08 pm

Look, this agency may not resemble the old Customs (I don’t know, I wasn’t there), but I can tell you it is nothing at all like the old INS. Nothing is the same, not chain of command, HQ organization, SAC level organization, field group organization, hiring policies, performance/discipline, case management, merit promotion, firearms qualification, arrest planning and execution, evidence collection recording, etc. Everything is either new or inherited from Customs/Treasury with the exception of the few administrative arrest processes that Special Agents still do. You ought to be thankful this place is NOT constructed like the old INS. If you have complaints now, you should have seen then.

As to fucked up management, who exactly were those high level officials in Florida busted for illegal behavior with respect to children? Hmmmm, yes, they were legacy Customs, so lets get beyond the superiority complex.

I agree with you that Schooch and Silliman were fast risers, but so frankly were Dinkins, Ayala, Edge, etc., earlier in their careers. Fast rising doesn’t mean incompetent or corrupt. Those two would have been that way regardless of how soon or late they rose through the ranks. And from what I have heard, they both were demoted which would probably have resulted in loss of pay, certainly for Shooch. BTW, there are present high level legacy Customs managers who because of their career foibles would not be able to testify in court, but since they are management, it doesn’t matter.

Things changed in 2003, not all for the better from any perspective, but not all for the bad either.

please on June 21, 2013 at 10:29 pm


Wow, lots of advice that I have to take to heart. BTW I am with ERO and some of the stuff doesn’t apply to me. However, much of OI/HSI “goings on” I have never seen because I really, in SIX years, haven’t really SEEN any HSI people! The two ICE sections (ERO and HSI) never seem to mix. It’s just my experience but we never seem to work together or do ANYTHING together (we could train or qualify together?). Anyway, I’ve heard many of the “horror stories” of “old INS” and I’ve seen some really, really, really stupid stuff that would NEVER fly in the private sector (I worked from age 16 to 28 in the PS). However, I have witnessed FIRST HAND the skill, courage and balls of my fellow ERO officers/”agents” who go out all the time and make REAL arrests, work with local PD’s and bring in a lot of bad dudes from off the STREET (not just pick ups at jails). Few and far between yes, but it still happens. Lots and lots of BS but I also don’t like people who just constantly bad mouth the organization THEY WORK FOR (what does that say about you?). If some of these guys or gals are really so “hardcore” and “high-speed” I’m sure the Marshals, LAPD, or the Border Patrol are still hiring! God bless guys and chill the F*&k out a little bit! Just my opinion.

LA ICE Guy on June 22, 2013 at 2:33 pm

Please, please tell me that you are not really that out of touch.

Dinkins, Ayala, Edge fast risers? Really? Dinkins and Ayala are in their fifties. Dinkins is not very intelligent and in love with himself, but at least he has done case work. Ayala is not very bright either, and has done some case work, but her elevated state is a result of her “relationship” with a now retired Customs manager. I know little about Edge, but he has been around for a while.

Schoch and Silliman were in their late 20’s and early 30’s when they received those huge promotions, neither had any history of working as a criminal investigator. Taking into account all the money they reportedly pilfered, why aren’t they in jail? While they were “demoted” their pay remained the same and they were reassigned to choice office locations (with a fully paid move no doubt).

I could also correct you about a number of other things, but I will point out that ICE’s hiring standards are based upon the INS standard and NOT Customs. Per Charles Devita, the hiring standards were lowered to get more boots on the ground (one of the reasons, in large part, why HSI ain’t got no investigating going on). Didn’t it ever strike you as odd that HSI was hiring people with gang/hate tattoos, gold grills, grossly overweight, non-English speakers, etc., as special agents?

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