March 7, 2014, - 5:03 pm

ABSURD Video: THIS is Why People Hate Lawyers (& Self-Hating JINOs)

By Debbie Schlussel

This jerk, Daniel Buckley Muessig, makes fictional lawyer Saul Goodman from “Breaking Bad” (“Better Call Saul”) look like classy. Desperate to get clients, he’ll apparently say and do anything to make a buck (including invoking Judaism and feeding Jew-haters with more fodder). Sad.

THIS is Why People Hate Lawyers . .


And, um, can we Jews please excommunicate this schmuck (I don’t know any Jews with the middle name, “Buckley,” either)? This is shameless Jew-baiting by a JINO (Jew In Name Only) if I ever saw it. Disgusting. Anyone who hires this guy is a moron. Sadly, our country is fulla those. (In Detroit, there is an equally sleazy, pro-Muslim, plastic surgery victim Arab lawyer, Joumana Kayrouz, who advertises herself as a “Real Housewives”-style lawyer. She’s making millions from it. Apparently morons in need of a lawyer and quick cash from suing someone in a matter of little merit, hire these parasites in droves.)


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15 Responses

If you don’t mind, I shall play devil’s advocate for the aforementioned Mr Müßig. Since I’m not a lawyer, results may vary.

You may have read the disclaimer at the end of this ad saying that this was meant to be satire. Apparently, he may have the talent to free people who, by circumstance, managed to get themselves into a bit of trouble with weed, suspended licenses or assault (especially when it comes to self-defence). But he should have left the satire to the pros. If he loses business because he couldn’t take himself seriously, that’s a self-inflicted injury.

As many people may realize, there is a concept called “gay for pay” which straight male porn actors perform in gay hardcore movies, usually as tops, thereby expanding their fan base. Mr Müßig appears to be doing his “Better Call Saul” routine, however this may backfire since spinning the dreidl would indicate (to the uninitiated) that he would take a gamble in defending the accused.

Needless to say, the current justice system is based on the presumption of innocence and due process. Mr Müßig’s add does provide hope for those accused of criminal activity but if they’re of an altered mental capacity, the target audience may dismiss it out of hand.

Maybe he’s actually gunning for DA? I rest my case. Shabbat shalom.

The Reverend Jacques on March 8, 2014 at 10:30 am

Debbie, . . .

uhhhhhhhhhhhh, . . .

this is a skit, right? Someone trying out for Saturday Night Live, . . .

or a revival of Chappelle’s Show?


Alfredo from Puerto Rico on March 8, 2014 at 10:30 am

    Err… Alfredo: you probably know a bit of Chapelle. I know a bit of Chapelle. This ain’t Chapelle.

    The Reverend Jacques on March 8, 2014 at 4:55 pm

haha..What a genius… 1:34 of the video he misspells the word committed (commited)…must be a fine attorney that practices with close attention to detail…

HK on March 8, 2014 at 10:44 am

“A former rapper turned attorney”

Well, that just about covers it.

I’m gonna go take a shower.

Pray Hard on March 8, 2014 at 11:58 am

I know that I should stay informed, but this is almost too much. Actually, had David Lynch added his touch to this, it would have presented the surrealism it deserves. It’s almost there as it is, however.

Pray Hard on March 8, 2014 at 12:12 pm

“Anyone who hires this guy is a moron”

Ya don’t say Debbie? I thought that rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists were known for their high intellectual capacity.

Tiger on March 8, 2014 at 1:31 pm

This one didn’t make it into Robocop.

Frankz on March 8, 2014 at 3:10 pm

Your sins will find you out. You laugh in secret. But all things have consequences. Can you toss a pebble into a pool of water without causing a ripple?

So Cal Snowman on March 8, 2014 at 4:59 pm

It’s saying just as much about the legal system, that this jerk’s clients are able to be victorious. Criminals getting off, apparently routinely.

Little Al on March 8, 2014 at 8:56 pm

I wouldn’t worry about this chap giving lawyers a bad name. Some members of the US Supreme Court have done that far more effectively already.

And this particular clip could just as easily have been a comedy skit. In fact, if I weren’t forewarned about its contents, I would have thought that this clip was, in fact, a skit or an “Onion” type commercial.

Also, Muessig’s point about laws being arbitrary does have some merit. Many laws, for example, really exist to raise revenues, but they were passed under the guise of some “public benefit.” Think of speed traps, hidden “do not park” signs, etc. There are laws against numbers running, but it’s perfectly legal for governments to do exactly the same thing, only they call it “lotteries.” Also, does Obamacare sound familiar?

But lawyers can also be wonderfully creative. Every American should know that one of the greatest songs of all time was written and composed by a lawyer. His name was Hoagy Carmichael. His classic song, Stardust, has been covered by many great artists through the decades. Here’s a beautiful, relatively contemporary rendering by Natalie Cole:

I’ll now close with one of my favorite lawyer jokes. This is my own rendering of it. Lawyers out there, take now offense.


A man is sitting at his stool at the local bar, complaining to the bartender. “I can’t stand lawyers,” the man says. “I was driving my car and stopping at a light, but before I could come to a full stop, I just barely tapped the car in front of me.”

“So what happened?” asked the bartender.

“The guy in the other car was a lawyer, and he sued me for $120,000, claiming whiplash, loss of consortium, and some other stuff that I didn’t understand, and he won,” the man complained.

“Wow, that’s terrible, but I wouldn’t hold that against all lawyers,” said the bartender.

“Oh yeah?” “Later that same month, I got divorced, and my lawyer ripped me off for $85,000, and I had to pay for my wife’s lawyer too, and she charged me $130,000!”

“Ouch!” the bartender said, sympathetically. “I suppose there’s more?”

“You bet!” I got audited by the IRS and they threatened to put a lien on my bank account if I didn’t pay them $20,000. I hired a lawyer to defend me and he negotiated a $5,000 settlement.”

“Wow, that’s great. That sounds like the lawyer really did a great job for you that time,” commented the bartender.

“Not really. My bill for his services was $15,000,” complained the man.” The man then got up from his stool and yelled out “All lawyers are assholes!”

But someone in the back of bar yells back, “Hey I take offense to that!”

The man, a little embarrassed, figuring he might somehow get sued again, says, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you. Are you a lawyer?” he asks sheepishly.

“No,” the man at the back of the bar yells, “I’m an asshole!”

Ralph Adamo on March 8, 2014 at 9:01 pm

Actually, it’s a great ad which has done just what its authors hoped to do – get free publicity through broadcast by local news agencies.

As for the lawyer, he is trying to reach out to a criminal class with whom he likely has few actual contacts other than his pot dealer. He’s a newbie with minimal resources who took a shot which worked.

But the use of the Jewish theme was rotten, though. However, the ad’s very objective was to obnoxious enough to merit airtime. As Deb observed, only a JINO could get away with it.

James Loughton on March 8, 2014 at 11:38 pm

He is playing to his base. He doesn’t care whether respectable people like him. It is the same way that Obama’s policies are meant to appeal only to illegal aliens, crooked politicians, union thugs, perverts, deadbeats, criminals, government dependents, etc.

salt1907 on March 9, 2014 at 3:29 pm

A female fly is sitting atop a fece hungrily munching her meal when a male fly spies her, lands on a fece next to hers and asks, “pardon me, is this stool taken?”

DS_ROCKS! on March 9, 2014 at 6:55 pm

And here’s a news story that perfectly illustrates how arbitrary laws can be:

Critics of Hampton (a town with a population less than 500) argue that it has long existed for the sole purpose of enforcing a speed trap on a 1,260-foot stretch of highway. Issued tickets (12,698 between 2011 and 2012, according to the New York Times) resulted in hundreds of thousands of dollars in fines. But where did the money go? No one knows. Auditors were told by city officials that some of the records were “lost in the swamp.”

Ralph Adamo on March 10, 2014 at 9:18 pm

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