April 18, 2014, - 12:22 pm

Your Day in Hip-Hop Obama Voters: Rapper Did WHAT?! to His Penis; Shower Rod Shortage – A Preview of America’s Future (& Its Present)

By Debbie Schlussel

This is a nice, representative slice of life in the day of Obama voters and the world of hip-hop:


* New Darwin Award winner, rap star Andre Johnson, cut off his penis, and it cannot be re-attached (not all such surgical attempts are John Wayne Bobbitt-esque). Sadly, his suicide attempt was unsuccessful, and you will now be paying for his lack-of-penis therapy (or an expensive prosthetic) via ObamaCare.

* Shower rods sold out at Home Depot, Lowe’s, Target, and Walmart (link is Not Safe For Work) because a shower rod is part of a sex tape involving Mimi Faust, a star of the VH-1 rap reality show, “Love & Hip-Hop Atlanta.” There is now, reportedly a shower rod shortage because of the tape. Yes, this is what is important to Obama voters. They “can’t” pay for healthcare (so you have to pay it for them), but they can rush out to get a shower rod because it might help them mimic the acrobatics of a hip-hop sex tape. Priorities.

Remember, this is hip-hop culture, the most dominant force in American pop culture today. This is not only America’s future, but its present. It’s only getting worse.

G-d help this sinking nation. Sadly, it appears America is beyond help and is aimlessly going this way. Islam, which is growing rapidly in America while Christianity is shrinking, will fill the depraved void. Just terrific.

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13 Responses

I’m surprised they know what shower rods are. Most of them are dirty and don’t take showers.

Little Al on April 18, 2014 at 1:15 pm

Ameica is rapidly becoming a Third World country with an obsolescent military.

When Americans are asked how this affects America as a superpower, they shrug and say “we don’t care.”

But we need to keep up with the Kardashians and Mimi Faust (appropriately named, by the way.) We have our priorities.

America is going the way of Rome.

NormanF on April 18, 2014 at 1:25 pm

Of course, if they follow Johnson’s example, maybe there will be a few less bums and loafers in a few decades.

Little Al on April 18, 2014 at 2:06 pm

So Johnson has no Johnson?

FriscoKid on April 18, 2014 at 3:53 pm

Johnson is so pathetic, he failed at suicide!

FriscoKid on April 18, 2014 at 3:53 pm

Don’t you mean Andre NoJohnson?

Jonathan E. Grant on April 18, 2014 at 3:55 pm

1. He paid his medical bills in cash, told the surgeon “keep the tip”

2. Witnesses said “after we wrestled the knife out of his hand, we weren’t sure if he had the balls to jump”

3. He used to be a member of the Wu-Tang Clan but now he’s just a “half member”

4. Now when the Wu-Tang Clan performs, he just watches from the audience. People don’t even recognize him. In fact, at the last concert he attended, an usher asked him “can I see your stub”

5. Witnesses stated “he didn’t strike me as the type of guy to jump off a building, he must’ve just lost his head”

FriscoKid on April 18, 2014 at 3:56 pm

At least he can’t reproduce.

David on April 18, 2014 at 4:02 pm

Black people act like a cult. There really is much diversity in them. They all have the same mindset. When 98% voted for Obama, then when you see one, then you seen them all. Except for that other 2%.

The Chosen One on April 20, 2014 at 12:02 am

    As a black American I take no offense to your comment, Sir. I would however like to inform you that black people are not monolithic. Although many black Americans share a uniquely common history we are quite diverse. As far as politics, a majority of black Americans have supported the democratic party for quite some time (well before there was even a thought of an Obama) so I do not understand what your point about that adds to the discussion? Most Texans support Republicans the same way most Louisianans support gumbo 🙂 -doesn’t mean they are monolithic in everything that they do, believe, or support…its more about a shared culture and history than lack of diversity. I bet that you’d find much more diversity within cultural groups than you’d think, especially black Americans.

    Stephanie on April 27, 2014 at 12:04 pm

Your comments lack context. I would like to give you and your readers another perspective. I am a black American female currently serving in the military preparing for my 2nd deployment to the Middle East in the coming days. I grew up in the Hip Hop culture and I am currently studying studying Middle Eastern culture.

The Hip Hop culture is only a sub-set of American culture and, like any other cultural phenomena or sub-set of a culture, Hip Hop has its misfits and asininities. People such as yourself seem to rarely point to the good and positive in Hip Hop and assume that everyone who is a part of the Hip Hop culture supports the worst of it. The same holds true for your indictments on Muslim Arab culture. That’s like me assuming that all white, American Christians support terrorists like Timothy McVeigh, Eric Rudolph, Joseph Stack (…and the list of Christian terrorists goes on). Although I believe you to be a little misguided in your position on these issues I do not think that you would reasonably support such radical hate and violence against any group of people. I’d hope that you (and those who follow you) would attempt a more genuine and intelligent understanding of the cultures that you so vehemently criticize. Hip Hop, like any other segment of American culture (or any other nation’s culture) has its flaws and its good points. Wishing you all peace, blessings, and enlightenment in your future endeavors.

Stephanie Jones on April 27, 2014 at 11:57 am

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