October 29, 2014, - 1:05 pm

HILARIOUS VIDEO!: Jimmy Kimmel Mocks Liberal Peanutzi Food Police

By Debbie Schlussel

It’s been a very long time since I posted a video from “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” because the monologue part of the show and the skits have been lame and unfunny for a while. But, last night, a rare, brilliant, absolutely hilarious exception: the Kimmel show had two actors impersonate left-wing peanutzi (my name for the anti-peanut Nazis) activists, who are circulating a petition to remove the line “Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks” from “Take Me Out to the Ball Game,” in order to help their peanut-allergic, non-existent son, Landon. The video has everything: bearded left-wing male activist . . . check, looks-challenged female left-wing activist complete with birth-control goggles . . . check, son with a pretentious name . . . check, BS about “inclusiveness” . . . check, advocating censorship . . . check, wanting everyone to change to cater to their selfishness . . . check, comparing their cause to slavery . . . check, check, check. I especially like this video because it isn’t far-fetched, as I know first-hand, after coming under non-stop, vicious assault from peanutzis after I ridiculed Northwestern University for making its football stadium peanut-free for a day.


Check out the video . . .

In the back pocket of Big Peanuts.

Exit question: how long until the peanutzis go after Jimmy Kimmel for mocking them? 3-2-1 . . . .

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28 Responses

Next up: removing “amber waves of grain” from American the beautiful, because we HAVE to be gluten-free….even if we don’t really have celiac disease.

Sean M. on October 29, 2014 at 1:16 pm

You know, Debbie, it has been a LONG time since I have done any pediatrics since my internship almost 26 years ago. (I am a psychiatrist now, doing work with adults exclusively.)

However, at that time, I don’t recall peanut allegy as being that big a deal.

My kids, being adopted from Guatemala, had peanuts, honey, coffee, etc. tossed at them well before age 8 months; even sooner, I believe.

I wonder if part of the reason for allergies developing is that we allow our kids’ immune systems to develop without the desensitization effects of early exposure. Peanut allergies certainly were NOT a big thing in Guatemala.

All this being said, I just want my dining area free of tobacco smoke, which has no business in a restaurant. But “making a stadium peanut free” is ridiculous.

Occam's Tool on October 29, 2014 at 1:16 pm

    You may be on to something. Some researchers, noting the much lower incidence of peanut allergies in Israel, have suggested that Bamba may have something to do with it. Bamba is a popular peanut-based snack that’s among the first foods babies are introduced to (it’s also popular with older folk), so they may experience that desensitization you speak of.

    Raymond in DC on November 7, 2014 at 3:21 pm

OMG I almost fell out of my chair when he talked about making the Star Spangled Banner more inclusive to blind people!!

Sean M. on October 29, 2014 at 1:19 pm

Well, I have allergies to most apples! Yet I don’t go around claiming remove apples from places. or their song.

Alex on October 29, 2014 at 2:26 pm

ROTFLMAO!!! Ahhhh, yes, The Peanut Bowl. That was a fun thread.

Alfredo from Puerto Rico on October 29, 2014 at 2:40 pm

I remember the article Debbie wrote. The peanutzis that flooded the comments sections were the most obnoxious and ridiculous ones ever to comment, even more than the Polish.

I’ll bet most of them are just overprotective, neurotic women who are making up the allergy just to get attention, and they probably all have the disease du jour, the phony chronic lyme disease, as well. It is strange that you see so many kids these days with allergies to peanuts, but you rarely see adults with peanut allergies.

John M. on October 29, 2014 at 5:20 pm

Based on what happened on this site the last time Debbie took a poke at peanut allergies in general, I predict we will have at least 300-comments by this time tomorrow. As Johnny Carson used to say..That is some wild & wacky stuff.

#1 Vato on October 29, 2014 at 6:13 pm

I have entered “peanutzi/peanazi” on my website of American neologisms and expressions. Additional research shows that you, indeed, have coined the new word.

There are no certificates or parades, but whatever. Congratulations!

Keep using it and get others to use it. The folks at Oxford are slower.

Barry Popik on October 29, 2014 at 7:58 pm

I’m with Occam. Where did this explosion of fatal peanut allergies come from? Or is it just something the media blows out of proportion, like all this ‘transgender’ nonsense recently?

Matt on October 29, 2014 at 8:50 pm

Anyone want to really draw some nuts here and inflame the Food Police even more? Let’s make fun of peanut allergies and INCLUDE The Anti-Gluten Society as well.

We could have big fun with that crowd.


Alfredo from Puerto Rico on October 29, 2014 at 9:29 pm

    Gluten is an intolerance. Peanut’s can be FATAL. Is this site full of high school drop outs?

    Tom R on October 31, 2014 at 1:26 pm

Kimmel is so dry that he’s depressing to watch. Also, comedians who laugh at their own jokes are annoying.

DS_ROCKS! on October 29, 2014 at 10:09 pm

    I don’t find Jimmy Kimmel’s occasional laughter at his own jokes to be annoying, and usually like it when he does it. Many of the great comics have laughed at their material, and it is most often an integral part of their acts. I only find it annoying or weak when it is used to cover up for the fact that the audience didn’t laugh. It also depends upon how its done. The very first of the great “topical humor” comedians, Mort Sahl, for example would laugh from time to time and his laughter actually made his material funnier. Laughter is often infectious, and that’s a good thing. Comics just have to be careful not to create their own laugh tracks.

    Ralph Adamo on October 30, 2014 at 5:44 pm

I would think that this peanut skit is a “put-on.” However, it did take place in SF! The same place that elects Pelosi, Boxer, and Feinstein, so it could be real.

Occam said it best! Something in the child rearing practices has changed for the worse. If you’re over 55, you know what I mean comparing childhoods.

unholyone on October 30, 2014 at 9:38 am

Yes, unholyone, as someone who will turn 58 tomorrow, I have this conversation with a lot of people, the childhood comparison thing. It all corresponds to what I have termed for quite a while The Cultural Pancake Flip of 1964-1969. It actually started on November 22, 1963.

Those who have fuzzy or no memories of the JFK assassination did their growing up in the changed world, and mostly adopted the new values of moral relativism, etc. Those of us who were old enough to remember the JFK assassination with anywhere from a fair degree of clarity to a bold one, grew up under old values, and adopted them ourselves as we grew older.

Regardless of whatever mistakes we may have made, such as my own involvement with liberalism from about age 15 to 30, people my age generally fall on the side of old fashioned, or “traditional” values.

That’s why someone like Debbie is such a breath of fresh air. She was properly raised, with good perspective, and held on to it, despite being a lot younger than me, and that dividing line age unholyone mentiond.


Alfredo from Puerto Rico on October 30, 2014 at 10:04 am

    I never gave it much thought, but you are right-on-the-money with that observation. I remember that Friday like it was yesterday. History seemed so ancient and was so difficult to wrap my mind around (Lincoln-Washington-Jefferson) but that day I realized I was seeing history in the making. A couple months later I saw the Beatles and my mom told me ‘this too is history’. But on 11-22-63, the train jumped the track and took a dirt road.

    #1 Vato on October 30, 2014 at 10:40 am

      The Beatles figured in to The Cultural Pancake Flip, all that figured in. On January 1, 1970, America was a decidedly different nation than it was on November 21, 1963. Sure, the machinations were already there, and the pancake was cooked on one side.

      Then, the spatula went under on November 22, 1963, the whole nation and culture went WHOA!!!, and on January 1, 1970, we had already entered in to what The Temptations rightly called, later that very year, a Ball Of Confusion.

      I once told a young cop, maybe late 30’s or early 40’s, about two years ago on the subway, about that. He was making remarks about the current state of affairs in the world, after warning a young lady sitting near the door to be careful of her smart phone. Kids were getting out of school, and they like to lean in the doors of subway cars before they close, and snatch small things, then dart through the crowds and down the stairs.

      So, I told him to check out The Temptations Ball Of Confusion, read the lyrics and check out the similarities in the society they were singing about, compared to today. LOL!!!

      Alfredo from Puerto Rico on October 30, 2014 at 11:51 am

Frankly, I’m allergic to leftists.They almost make me throw up. Can I find a leftist-free area some place.

Jerry G on October 30, 2014 at 10:30 am

LOL. The bit provided a good healthy pruning–if not outright slaying–of the bother and nag nutter crowd.

Hilarious indeed it was!

lee of the lower case "l" on October 30, 2014 at 11:37 am

Hysterical. Thanks for posting.

Caryn on October 30, 2014 at 12:16 pm

“Please Stop the Peanut Apocalypse.” It is indeed a mania which interferes with the lives of ordinary people.

Worry on October 30, 2014 at 4:09 pm

Agree with many comments here, but disagree on several. First, diagnosed peanut allergies, strawberry allergies, and Lyme disease are very serious health matters and are not products of neuroses or imaginations. Consequently, those afflicted have to be very careful with their diets.

That said, this comic piece is spot on, and you have to give kudos to the comic actors for their over the top performances and improvisational skills, and for not breaking character. They kept a straight face throughout while maintaining a pose of “righteous” indignation, and that’s tougher to do than you might think. And even one of the people asked to sign the petition was hilarious with his own improvised counter response.

I found the responses of the people asked to sign the petition to be encouraging. Apparently, the comic team were only able to find one person or so to go along with the ridiculous proposal.

Overall, the interviewees seemed to appreciate the tradition of singing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame.” People have been singing this song in stadiums in the US during the seventh inning stretch of the game for more than a century. It has been and continues to be one of the best of the “feel good” traditions of Americana. The song, by the way, was composed by a Jew, Albert Von Tilzer, with lyrics written by a Christian, Jack Norworth–and that makes this an especially American tradition.

Ralph Adamo on October 30, 2014 at 5:28 pm

Seriously, it makes me roll my eyes when I see attacks on kids or people who have SEVERE peanut allergies. I have two kids who if they consume peanuts, will literally have a SEVERE and likely a FATAL allergic response. While I don’t make it an issue, my fear is that people don’t understand that it isn’t an intolerance allergy where my kids will just get a stomach ache and recover. And while I don’t care if you find kids with peanut allergies annoying, when you promote behavior to ridicule innocent kids and people, I don’t find that productive. I honestly, can’t believe it. I will personally invite you to my house to meet my son and daughter. They are great kids who will be fine as long as social antagonists like you don’t influence someone to harm my kids with intent. Maybe then you can understand what you are writing about. Also, why would you associate a person with peanut allergies as a lefty? That is another ridiculous statement. Why not find something else to be passionate against?

Tom R on October 31, 2014 at 1:23 pm

    @Tom R: You’re mistaken to think anyone here is mocking or is in any way unsympathetic to children with deadly peanut allergies. The video is applauded by many of us here for its well aimed targeting only of those who would force superfluous measures upon all of us, to no benefit of the allergy sufferers.

    lee of the lower case "l" on October 31, 2014 at 2:35 pm

      I suppose if you want to see it that way it isn’t a big deal. Honestly though, you are fooling yourself if you don’t feel there are crazy people out there who would do nothing less than cause harm to prove they have a “right” to serve peanuts when they want without respecting the fact that it can kill a kid. I mean look at the original post here for goodness sakes. She is grouping people concerned about the well being of their kids with political extremists by labeling them “lefties”. Seriously, I can’t even believe that I responded to this site in the first place. It is simply another reminder that I will keep people who care about the safety of kids as my friends, and unfortunately, I will teach my kids to never trust anyone other than themselves. There are bigger more rewarding topics to attack as “activists”. This blog is being led by a “poser”.

      Tom R on November 2, 2014 at 2:45 pm


This is a Debbie Schlussel Commenter in Membership Official Unofficial Statement regarding Trolling:


Please note, the amount of time for trolling this particular thread has expired. Trolling posts will not be viewed by 99.9% of the regular membership of this web site, and should therefore be regarded as a non-substantive waste of bandwidth. For Peanut Trollers, please try a more recent thread, for Halal trollers, please stay tuned, for Pink with Purple Polka Dot Lesbian Transmen who are masquerading as Gender Queer, press 3, for . . .


Alfredo from Puerto Rico on October 31, 2014 at 1:38 pm

Screw you lady. Jimmy Kimmel is the only liberal here, and you’re siding with HIM? My son has life threatening food allergies and guess what. He could be cured of them via a therapy called OIT. Ya know what’s stopping us? Obamacare forces us to accept Medi-Cal despite being high income. We don’t have access to the peanut allergy cure thanks to Obamacare. Meanwhile, liberal Jimmy Kimmel is singing the praises of ACA because he’s rich and still needs help saving his baby.

But no, let’s praise Jimmy Kimmel and laugh at the children who really can die from peanuts. I’m a conservative by the way, but obviously not cut from same cloth as you.

Jimmy Kimme sucks on May 3, 2017 at 1:47 pm

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