February 14, 2015, - 10:06 pm

Happy DREAD 2015: The Real “Valentine’s Day”

By Debbie Schlussel

Since I was away for most of the day because of the Jewish Sabbath, I could not put this up earlier. But I cannot let the day get away without marking DREAD 2015. Marketers and the media call it “Valentine’s Day,” but I call it DREAD – Doghouse Relocation Extra-Avoidance Day. As I always say, today isn’t a day about love. It’s about obligation.


DREAD Artwork by David Lunde/Lundesigns, Design by Debbie Schlussel


Won’t You Be My DREADentine?

I don’t even need to have seen it to know: per usual as on this day every year, men rushed all over America to CVS and Walgreens and so on, desperate to find a card, some stale chocolates, some overpriced flowers–all because if they didn’t bring something home to the female significant other, they would be relocated to the doghouse. As I’ve noted on this day on this site year after year, most men buy what they buy and gift what they gift on this day because they have to. Not because they want to. If they wanted to, they would not feel a sense of obligation to do it today. They would do it when they want to, on the day or days of their choosing.

And those who are not Mr. Moms and stay-at-home dads do it every single day by working hard and struggling in this Obamaconomy to make a living, to put food on the table and pay the rent. That’s real love. Real love is doing what you need to do to keep your family together and in good welfare, health, and happiness. Most American men with families do that every single day. And some obligatory cards, candy, and roses are ephemeral irrelevancies when compared with what really matters.

It goes without saying that Valentine’s Day isn’t even really about love anyway. It’s about imbalance. A power play that’s anachronistic with the times and the power today in married couples. As more women dominate their households in terms of income, with men getting laid off and losing their jobs–with women experiencing affirmative action galore in hiring and promotions in the workplace–many women are making more money than their husbands and/or male significant others. And yet, on average, they still spend almost nothing on men on this faux-holiday brought to you by Hallmark and 1-800-FLOWERS. Men still spend the whopping amount of money on gifts and accoutrements of forced romance on Valentine’s Day. So much for equality. Guys, even under feminism, you’re still the chumps. You gotta spend or you’ll regret it.

I’ve written about this every year (including here, here, and here), and every year it’s the same. It’s expected. And men sheeple-ishly do what’s expected, lest they face a horrible fate: the look, the consequences. The relocation to the doghouse for countless days, weeks, even months. Maybe even more.

The sense of obligation is so bad that even third parties other than the sellers of Valentine’s Day booty are in on the act. Check out the Facebook exchange below that a friend sent me. It’s the dialogue between a husband, who said he doesn’t want to send flowers to his wife to work, and the nosy, overbearing buttinsky who is the wife’s female (of course) friend, chastising him and butting into their marriage. That’s what happens on DREAD if you don’t do it just exactly “right.” The friend who sent it knows these people, and writes:

Blue is the husband. Green is his wife. Pink is the wife’s meddling friend. Notice there is no mention of what the wife got the husband, what time of day, and if she sent it to his place of work.


I’m glad for the one thing good about Valentine’s Day: all that sense of obligation is still good for the economy. Restaurants and florists and chocolate shops make money. It helps the downtrodden Obamaconomy. And it keeps people in jobs. And for that we should all be grateful.

But the ruse of artificial love forced upon American males today, that’s never a good thing.

But, right or wrong, I hope you bought your female significant other a gift today, or you’ll be experiencing the dread of DREAD.

Happy DREAD 2015.

The Scream by Edvard Munch, 1893

Artwork by David Lunde

Tags: , , , ,

19 Responses

What is really creepy are those Vermont Teddy Bears, especially the large ones.

Worry01 on February 14, 2015 at 10:37 pm

LOL it’s one day a year. Women aren’t like guys. I can live with that.

thatsallfolks on February 15, 2015 at 12:01 am

Blue’s response should have been, “That’s b/w me & her!”

Infidel on February 15, 2015 at 2:20 am

“And those who are not Mr. Moms and stay-at-home dads do it every single day by working hard and struggling in this Obamaconomy to make a living, to put food on the table and pay the rent. That’s real love. Real love is doing what you need to do to keep your family together and in good welfare, health, and happiness. Most American men with families do that every single day.”

Yup and it is not easy

bobguzzardi on February 15, 2015 at 7:05 am

Last Friday debbie it was so funny. During my lunch break I went over to the navy exchange(nex) to get some firehouse sub(good stuff). I’ve said it before that there is nothing funnier than to see a Navy captain rushing around with a harried look on his face with double the cards candy and flowers. You just know that he’s an admirals aide and that he’s picking stuff up for his boss. My family moved to a new neighborhood last week and are starting to unpack. We went out to eat leaving the kids with the in-laws because the wife and I needed a break. She knows that I love her because I tell her everyday. Our thing is that flowers wilt chocolate melts(my wife hates it) balloons deflate but our love is forever. One day in the shortest month of the year ain’t gonna change that.

Ken B on February 15, 2015 at 7:37 am

Not surprising.

For the last half-century, the media, the political establishment, the educational establishment, etc. have been on a campaign to make white males (and to some extent, males in general), feel guilty about everything, even down, in some cases (like Obamacare) to their very existence, especially if they are older.

So Valentines day is right along with all of this. It reinforces, on a more subtle level, all the attacks on white males associated with the Superbowl, the campus ‘rape’ crisis which has even taken some ‘conservative’ columnists along for the ride, and so on.

That is why Valentine’s Day, unlike Columbus Day, Thanksgiving Day, Christmas, and other such holidays, will not weaken or alter its message.

Little Al on February 15, 2015 at 7:49 am

I love valentines day. I buy chocolates for my wife and eat them all. Then we go to dinner at a more expensive place than usual and I order a bigger steak than usual. Valentines day 2 should be established sometime in August.

Larry on February 15, 2015 at 9:10 am

My wife forbids me to buy her flowers because she considers them a waste of money. I buy her a card and some chocolates and she is happy. We no longer go out to dinner because it’s a rip-off.

Most men are satisfied with getting respect and a little action from their wives (and girlfriends).

Concerned Citizen on February 15, 2015 at 10:12 am

    I don’t want my hubby to buy me flowers on Valentine’s Day because they are a ripoff, I shouldn’t eat the candy, the restaurants are mobbed, and he hates crowds. He writes me love letters all year round, especially if I have to be away from home for some reason. So on Valentines Day, like pretty much every day, I give him what he wants the most, which is an “afternoon nap” together. Since we retired, he refers to these naps as his “retirement bonus.” The best gift we give each other is being happily married.

    MIGirl on February 15, 2015 at 12:45 pm

I’m with you Debbie, I hate Dreadentine Day (great name for it). In my opinion it had to have been dreamt up by the women’s lib loons and reinforced by the marketing morons that have to use every excuse in the book to get into the wallets and purses of the clowns that fall for every stupid holiday on the calendar, but this one is especially irritating since it seems that just the men are on the hook and it makes women look like selfish, unappreciative spoiled little brats!

Kerry on February 15, 2015 at 10:33 am

Just reading the replies, tells us all we need to know why women are enthralled with “50 Shades of…

Oh yeah what’s the new rave #no creativity #pathetic #suck

bunch of jokers on February 15, 2015 at 12:16 pm

Chocolate, candy, flower & card extortion day! It would be lovely if it was all heartfelt and peeps knew how to treat each other but that just ain’t how things roll in 2015.

Women still don’t understand that our brains work very differently and approaches to “romantic-ness” are done differently via GENDER. That’s why the state of Romance is in a sorry state in the modern age.

If I were a man I wouldn’t pare up with the status quo female of today…damaged, angry & doesn’t know the 1st thing about tending to a love relationship yet has jumped in as if she deserves to play the game. I like how Ken B & his wife roll…THAT’S how it’s done and it’s heaps more meaningful.

That buttinsky friend is so bold (like most shrews today) she jumped in where she should have minded her own whack business. People who are NOT therapists should NEVER infringe on others’ marriage territory. But Buttinsky was a prime example of how annoying women are today and the grand & public mistakes they make.

In 2015 it must be said that dirt-bag men are still WINNING! Chicks today are so skanky they drop their knickers for almost anything with a pulse. The goods for free with ZERO emotional attachment…which does not go the same way for silly females. These skanks make it more hard for good women to find a good man these days. Thanks for nothing, you Skanks!!!

Skunky on February 15, 2015 at 12:26 pm

As usual, Debbie nails it. And Skunky’s synopsis is extremely accurate. Between white skanks slutting it around, then settling down with black or Asian men to marry, white guys are choosing imported brides at an increased pace. It’s hilarious to watch this new “musical chairs” mate-selection process, but kinda sad to see our once-great culture being trashed. *Just* last night, me and the wife went to a church-sponsored (family-freindly) dinner and musical event and I saw three guys- all successful and white, but sort of timid, not bad-looking – with foreign wives: a Peruvian and two Phillipinas. The men looked as happy as pigs in mud.

I’m an odd case in that I’ve never done the DREAD day thing and I taught my three daughters to reject and question almost every “tradition” invented by marketeers and charletains, and we’re all happier people for it as evidenced by my four good, well-adjusted kids and my 22 years of marriage.

DS_ROCKS! on February 15, 2015 at 4:45 pm


    Marcus on February 15, 2015 at 5:12 pm

    My wife has had a gastric bypass (no chocolates, and in her case it was glandular—she has had thyroid cancer). We have 3 cats and a dog—no flowers. I offered to buy her a gift certificate at the local yarn shop because she loves to knit, but she told me that she already knows that she has a practically unlimited account to do this with anyway (it is her favorite hobby, and I’m good for several K a year for her on it, so yeah, that’s true).

    The Friday before, we went to a church sponsored dinner (interfaith marriage, small Minnesota town) at a local restaurant which was wonderful. On Valentine’s day itself, we lounged around and watched silly movies riff-traxed and talked. (Think Mystery Science Theater 3000—the guys are still doing that work on the Riff-Trax website)

    My kids are home-schooled. My wife, a graduate of University of Alabama’s Accounting Department Summa Cum Laude, home-schools them. I make a good enough living to allow for that as a senior physician. We adopted them when I was 41, I am 52 now (they were 1 year old—7 months apart).

    My wife is my Valentine still after 19 years of marriage. She knows how hard I work and the hours I put in. The kids are happy kids, and bright. They love both of us to pieces.

    For Valentine’s Day itself, I went out to the local steak restaurant and brought home dinner for all of us, tipping the waitress 30% plus. The food was, as usual, delish. The wife sent me out to do that, and it was fine with me.

    Debbie, thank you for the Valentine to us American Men. You are a great lady, and G-D Bless You.

    Occam's Tool on February 15, 2015 at 6:43 pm

Also revealing is the aptly named ‘Pink’;s response, “I thought you were better than that.” Not simply “I disagree” or “I have a different point of view”, but challenging Blue’s worth as a person.

This has become the norm for victimization and challenging white males — it is part of the process by which challenges to the prevailing political and social wisdom become out of bounds.

Little Al on February 15, 2015 at 5:54 pm

Of course, the ultimately funny thing is that a lot of women wonder why men are so committment shy and so incompetent in treating women “like a lady.”

Occam's Tool on February 15, 2015 at 6:53 pm

There is a Mexican kid on the freeway exit who works there day and night selling flowers with his mother. Nice bundles of roses and different colored flowers for $5 bucks a bunch. I usually give him $10 just because. Got a wild hair on Valentines Day to get some and I handed him a $10 bill. (I know they are $5 because my buddy bought some the day before). Then the kid told me for Valentines Day they were now $15……….never again.

#1 Vato on February 16, 2015 at 9:51 am

I feel the same way about the compulsory donations to the United Way in most workplaces. The distribution of the money is determined politically and the people who are paid wages by the various agencies is determined politically as well. It’s time the United Way is exposed for what they’re doing and not doing.

Borut on February 18, 2015 at 12:36 am

Leave a Reply

* denotes required field