By Debbie Schlussel
**** SCROLL DOWN FOR UPDATE ****
Just goes to show you how fleeting and short life can be.
Billy Mays, the phenomenal, talented American pitchman and entrepreneur, is dead at age 50.
It appears that he might have died from the same kind of concussion that killed actress Natasha Richardson after a fall while learning to ski on a bunny hill, earlier this year.

Mays was found unresponsive by his wife inside his Tampa, Fla., home at 7:45 a.m. on Sunday, according to the Tampa Police Department. . . .
Mays, 50, was on board a US Airways flight that blew out its front tires as it landed at a Tampa airport on Saturday, MyFOXTampa.com reported.
US Airways spokesman Jim Olson said that none of the 138 passengers and five crew members were injured in the incident, but several passengers reported having bumps and bruises, according to the station.

To my mind, Mays is a great American because he was involved in promoting and giving us products that made our lives better, easier.
I use several OxiClean products. And I love them. The Oxiclean powder and OxiClean Maxforce stain remover get out stains that are even a year old, like no product I’ve ever used. I probably would never have even tried them, but for his relentless, convincing pitches and demonstrations.
And he was a stark demonstration of the great American dream: that with hard work (and some talent), you can go from rags to riches in America. In his case, maybe not rags, but you get the point.
Sadly, Mays also now personifies the trite adages we always hear. You have to enjoy life while you can. You never know when it will end. Mays was at the top of his game and had, only in the last few years, amassed tons of wealth as a successful pitchman and entrepreneur. But he won’t be able to enjoy it.
You can’t take it with you.
Billy Mays, Great American Businessman, Consummate American Salesman, Rest in Peace.
**** UPDATE: More on the late Billy Mays:

Born William Mays in McKees Rocks, Pa., on July 20, 1958, Mays developed his style demonstrating knives, mops and other “As Seen on TV” gadgets on Atlantic City’s boardwalk. For years he worked as a hired gun on the state fair and home show circuits, attracting crowds with his booming voice and genial manner.
AJ Khubani, founder and CEO of “As Seen on TV,” said he first met Mays in the early 1990s when Mays was still pitching one of his early products, the Shammy absorbent cloth, at a trade fair. He said he most recently worked with Mays on the reality TV show “Pitchmen” on the Discovery Channel, which follows Mays and Anthony Sullivan in their marketing jobs.
“His innovative role and impact on the growth and wide acceptance of direct response television cannot be overestimated or easily replaced; he was truly one of a kind,” Khubani said of Mays in a statement.
After meeting Orange Glo International founder Max Appel at a home show in Pittsburgh in the mid-1990s, Mays was recruited to demonstrate the environmentally friendly line of cleaning products on the St. Petersburg-based Home Shopping Network.
Commercials and informercials followed, anchored by the high-energy Mays showing how it’s done while tossing out kitschy phrases like, “Long live your laundry!”

By Debbie Schlussel
Couple of interesting reads on events in the news and nostalgia, this weekend, regarding Michael Jackson and the 30th anniversary of one of my fave comedy movies, “Animal House.”
* Michael Jackson
While I’ve said and I still believe that Michael Jackson has never been proven to actually have molested kids, I’ve also said that he definitely engaged in extremely inappropriate and weird conduct.

This article, about Jackson’s first young friend, Terry George, is interesting (and disturbing). George met Jackson when he was a poor, ambitious 13-year-old and Jackson was 21. Now a multi-millionaire businessman and internet magnate, the 42-year-old George recounts his experiences, how he forgave Jackson, etc.

Although I knew what he did was wrong I believed him to be a very confused person rather than a paedophile [DS: I guess that’s the Brit spelling of the word].

Like I said, it’s an interesting read, and I think George has it right on Jackson. Still, it’s kind of queasiness-inducing.
* Feel Old?: “Animal House” Turns 30
Wow, when stuff turns 30 or idols from your childhood (Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, etc.) die, it makes you feel old–like aging hit you with a truck and you weren’t quite prepared. Like time flew at the speed of light, or close.
“Animal House” just turned 30. It’s one of the great classic guy movies. (On the other hand, it does glorify defying authority a little much.) While contemporary teens and 20-somethings flock to trash like “The Hangover” (read my review), it’s shlock in comparison to real guy buddy movies, like “Animal House.” It wasn’t just John Belushi that made it a great film. It was Tim Matheson and so many others. And it had a great soundtrack, with live performances by classic artists like Otis Day and the Knights.
The Wall Street Journal’s E. E. Knight has an interesting take on the pathetic ways far too many college students try to find their “inner Bluto” (the nickname of Belushi’s “John Blutarsky”).
An excerpt:

When Animal House first came out just over 30 years ago, it dominated the cultural landscape. College students were nostalgic for the “raunchy, pre-1960s undergraduate ideal,” says Peter Rollins, who has been studying pop-culture academically for over 30 years. Mr. Rollins, who attended Dartmouth in the 1960s, says that students back then tried to live “the fantasy” on their own campuses. Some still do, taking Bluto’s counsel to heart: “My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.”

Yup, that was “raunch” yesterday, but today, it would be PG-13. Or maybe even just PG. And no, if I had kids, they would not be allowed to view it, until they were at least 16 or 17.
E. E. Knight has it right. Laugh at Bluto. Not with him.
Nowadays, he’d probably end up like Michael Jackson . . . minus the cash flow and Beatles song rights. And that’s essentially how Bluto’s real-life alter ego did end up.

By Debbie Schlussel
You’ve already read my review of “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” a/k/a “Transformers 2” (in which Israel is erased off the map). I did not see “My Sister’s Keeper,” though if I do, I’ll post the review later over the weekend. Here’s what I did see:
* “The Stoning of Soraya M.“: This movie is not only powerful, it’s important. It is extremely moving, too.
Cyrus Nowrasteh, the secular Muslim behind “The Path to 9/11” ABC miniseries, made this film of the true story of an Iranian woman who is stoned to death, after her rich husband and the town’s Islamic cleric trump up fake adultery charges against her. All of this is done because Soraya’s husband wants to divorce her (without paying her any support money or alimony), so he can marry a young girl with whom he’s been apparently having an affair.

This movie is just the way I like it. It pulls no punches. It’s very clear about the role Islam plays in brutality and fabricated “justice.” And it spares us none of the up-close graphic violence and blood of an Islamic stoning, which goes on in countries all over the world today . . . Islamic countries. (It’s violence and blood that is necessary to see, but not for the faint of heart and definitely NOT for kids.)
Shohreh Agdashloo–best known for playing the wife in a Turkish Muslim terrorist couple on the show “24”–is the star of this vehicle. She plays Soraya’s courageous aunt, who talks to a reporter (Jim Caviezel) and gets the story out. Caviezel’s reporter is a French Iranian whose car breaks down, and he is stranded in the small town until it is fixed. He tape records Agdashloo’s retelling of what happened just the day before.
The stoning incident also shows how wantonly life is taken away under sharia (Islamic law) and how cavalierly the killing–the murder–is treated. After Soraya has her show trial (which she wasn’t allowed nor was she allowed to testify), Soraya’s stoning happens with a fervor. The townfolk celebrate it and laugh before, during, and after. During the stoning, a clown troop–complete with Iranian clown midget–come to entertain the town kids. When they learn there’s a stoning going on, they eagerly entertain. That night, the whole town engages in feast and drink in celebration.
Very sickening, and, sadly, extremely true. If you love freedom as I do and despise jihad, this movie is a must see. I absolutely loved it. And it has no qualms about exposing Islam for what it is–a violent cult.
One other thing: Some western greeniac idiots who support the faux-democratic uprising in Iran are trying to use this movie as a vehicle for their unworthy cause. They are fools if they think that the Muslim green activists on the streets of Iran are any less for these Islamic stonings of women than Ahmadinejad and his supporters are. Mousavi supported there-establishment of Islamic rule and, thus, the stonings in 1979, and he supports it now. Wake the heck up.
FOUR REAGANS

* “Cheri“: This is the “cougar” vehicle that’s been much discussed in showbiz media outlets. It features Michelle Pfeiffer as a wealthy, aging prostitute in 1920s France, who falls in love with a much younger boy, “Cheri” (British actor, Rupert Friend), and lives with him from his late teens through his mid-20s.
I don’t much care for movies in which women try to act like men (in pining for younger lovers), and the “men” are so gay-looking and effeminate that it simply isn’t believable. Rupert Friend looks so much like a girl it’s off-putting. A scene in which he dons a pearl necklace made me wanna hurl.
But this movie isn’t for me or most of this site’s audience. It’s for middle-aged and post-middle-aged women who like to look at nice clothes (the costumes were incredible), nice scenery, and beautiful flowers.
For the rest of us, it’s an annoying chick flick. As chick flicks go, it could have been far worse. But it’s mostly skipworthy. I mean, after all, it’s about the lives of prostitutes and one who becomes heartbroken. So what? Who cares? Not me.
The one good thing about the movie: it shows that a life of prostitution may bring a ton of easy money, but it also brings a more heavy truckload of tragedy and heartbreak.
HALF A MARX

By Debbie Schlussel
Earlier today, I posted Jimmy Kimmel’s absolutely hilarious monologue on Michael Jackson’s death. It’s a must see, regardless of how you felt about Jackson, because it’s not about him, but about some of the asinine public reaction.
One of the items Kimmel mentions is the “Michael Jackson Moonwalk Cheeto” currently on Ebay. I thought it was a joke. But it isn’t, and it comes with this description:

The Cheeto That Foretold Michael Jackson’s Future! Found the week before he died! (thriller; king of pop)

Even more hilarious is that the Cheeto, at the time I write this, is up to $26.00 in bids. Yup, there are 16 dummies that bid on this cheeto. You know the quote about the birthrate of suckers.
Does This Look Like Michael Jackson to You? . . .

By Debbie Schlussel
Since it’s Friday, it’s Free Chocolate Friday. As regular readers know, every Friday through the end of September is Free Chocolate Friday, meaning that under Mars’ “Real Chocolate Relief Act” promotion, you can get a coupon for a free Mars chocolate candy bar.
Go here for the details and link to free chocolate.

By Debbie Schlussel
It’s the end of a very short, but highly entertaining, era: this morning, Detroit City Councilwoman Monica Conyers pleaded guilty to Conspiracy to Commit Bribery.

Detroit City Council President Pro Tem Monica Conyers pleaded guilty this morning to conspiring to commit bribery and is free on personal bond.
U.S. District Judge Avern Cohn said, “The defendant now stands convicted.”
The one count of conspiring to commit bribery is punishable for up to five years in prison.

John & Monica Conyers
Conyers is still on the Detroit City Council, but she’ll likely soon resign or be booted off due to the conviction.
Did I mention that she’s the wife (and some say, beard) of Communist U.S. Congressman John Conyers?
Well, I’ve mentioned it in the couple of years I’ve been writing on this site about her many antics.
I’ll miss her. She provided non-stop comedy relief in videos like this one:

Do It Baby . . . Do It.

By Debbie Schlussel
**** SCROLL DOWN FOR UPDATE ****
No matter how you feel about Michael Jackson, you’ll find this hilarious. The Jackson part goes from the beginning of the video until about 3:42.

**** UPDATE: Best Tasteless Michael Jackson Joke (heard this morning on WRIF-FM’s “Mike in the Morning” show, Detroit radio):

Due to Michael Jackson’s untimely death, all of his dates in London have been canceled. His dates were Tim, Age 10, and Sam, Age 7.

I know, I know. As Jimmy Kimmel says, “Too soon?”

By Debbie Schlussel
When they say celebrity deaths come in threes, maybe they’re right. First, it was Ed McMahon, and today, it was Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson. Poor Farrah, she picked the wrong day.
I’ve written a lot about Michael Jackson over the years, a good deal of it negative. But I will miss Michael Jackson, who died suddenly, today, at the young age of 50.

Not the White Michael Jackson plastic surgery addict, who became weird beyond belief, may have converted to Islam, surrounded himself with Louis Farrakhan and Nation of Islam acolytes, and acquired three kids he insisted were his (but who were entirely White), one of which he named “Blanket” (tonight, I’ve been getting thousands of hits on my post on and picture of Blanket Jackson and the other two kids, Prince and Paris). Not the guy who dabbled in not just Islam, but Judaism–accompanied by his friend, showboating Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, with whom he formed a foundation to help the unfortunate–the money from which strangely disappeared. And I won’t miss his anti-Semitic remarks (“They suck . . . they’re like leeches. It’s a conspiracy. The Jews do it on purpose.” ) and lyrics (“”Jew me, Sue me” and “Kick me, Kike me”). He apologized for those.
But I miss the original Michael Jackson–the one with talent, a voice that could range several octaves, feet that made us all dancing “the moonwalk” in the ’80s, composing music and writing and singing that had him melding rock guitar with pop in songs like “Beat It” in a way that even demanded the respect of the heavy metal world. He was an original, all right. And he was a phenom.
Seeing Michael Jackson in concert was one of the great concert-going experiences. You got your money’s worth. It wasn’t just the dancing or the singing. It was the showmanship. This guy had it.
And then there was the ever increasing weirdness. Jackson went from being the attractive young Black pop sensation to a guy who said he had vitiligo, whose skin turned white, and whose plastic surgery turned a cute guy into a living version of “The Joker.” Then, he was the guy who married Elvis Presley’s daughter, Lisa Marie in a marriage no-one believed was real.
For the record, I’m not convinced of the allegations that Jackson ever molested kids. We never saw any concrete proof. My father always said he thought Jackson was just a rich, weird guy who had an abusive father, never had a childhood, and therefore, didn’t mature properly. He was an overgrown child acting childlike. Yes, Jackson was a weird guy who was in extremely inappropriate situations with kids in his bed, etc. But that doesn’t mean he molested kids. And we’ll never know. We only know that irresponsible and money-hungry parents allowed their kids to spend the night and time alone with him and thereafter were shaking Jackson down.
And my dad and I sort of had some inside scoopage on this. My first cousin’s first cousin was the University of Michigan roommate of the sister of Jackson’s alleged first victim, while the whole matter was going down. She told our family that she heard telephone conversations that disturbed her, that it all seemed like a shakedown by the parents.
On the other hand, Jackson paid millions–the first settlement was about $20 million–to make the allegations go away. When you’re innocent, it’s hard to see settling for the GDPs of several countries combined.
But there’s no denying the influence Michael Jackson had. It’s not just the heavy metal guitars of Van Halen on “Beat It” or the tremendous musical influence of the “Thriller” album. It wasn’t just that he pioneered short-movie form music videos with old-timer stars, as he did with the “Thriller” video complete with Vincent Price. Jackson influenced fashion. Remember the glove and the famous zippered red leather jacket?
He influenced the concert industry, with his fantastic special effects, in addition to the workout-worthy dance numbers and songs. His dedication to special effects was such that he burned his hair in making a Pepsi ad. Remember that? While his spoken voice may have been markedly effeminate, his singing voice was very mellifluous. And he even influenced weddings. How many weddings around the world–not to mention prisons–feature renditions of “Thriller”?
Jackson even spawned several generations of impersonators, the most famous of which–Alfonso Ribiero–parlayed it into his own music, singing, dance, and acting career, from ’80s TV-sitcom “Silver Spoons” to Broadway as “The Tap Dance Kid” to ’90s TV-sitcom “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.”
Jackson sold the most albums of all time, a record that will never be beaten, since the album is now dead and individual song downloads are king. His success was a confluence of factors. He was a Motown sensation with his brothers in “The Jackson Five” at the height of Motown success in the early ’70s. Then, he was a video sensation at the beginning of MTV, when it was all the rage and actually played music instead of non-stop scripted “reality” shows.
Jackson also remains extremely popular throughout Europe and the rest of the world, where he is a huge superstar even today. As I noted on this site during Jackson’s criminal trial, the countries that love terrorism and soccer and hate America . . . love Michael Jackson.
When I was a kid, we danced and skated to one of my Michael Jackson faves, “Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough,” at my roller disco birthday party at Bonaventure Skating Rink (in Farmington Hills, Michigan). And that’s the stuff I will remember fondly about Michael Jackson. (And, yes, I can do the “Moonwalk” like nobody’s bid’niz.)
Michael Jackson may have been weird. But he was truly an artist and a music geninus, whose talent may never be repeated.
Some say he’s the Elvis of this generation. But, sadly, I don’t think they’ll be telling us that Jackson isn’t really dead.
Michael Jackson, Rest In Peace.
***
There are so many Michael Jackson songs I love, all of which are on my IPod and Zune, and on the playlist to which I work out. But my favorites are these:

Which are your fave Michael Jackson singles? What do you remember about Michael Jackson, good or bad? Do you think that the weirdness of a man and his alleged misdeeds cancel out his tremendous talent and entertainment contributions?
I say it depends. And in this case, the misdeeds simply haven’t been proven. Or disproven.

By Debbie Schlussel
**** SCROLL DOWN FOR UPDATE ****
As you probably know, last night’s ObamaCare infomercial propaganda from ABC and Barack Hussein Obama was a ratings disaster. But, for those who watched, it was also a disaster . . . and very disturbing.
Among those watching was my friend Jan, a bright, sharp 70-year-old man, who watched the phony baloney broadcast. His e-mails are the best Cliff’s Notes version of what happened, and why we’re doomed if this ludicrous socialized medicine plan is enacted.

From: Jan
Sent: Wednesday, June 24, 2009 10:43 PM
Subject: Interpreting Obama tonight: I should just up and f-ing die
Excuse me for being pissed off at him but I can’t help it.
I am 70 years old. In the last 4 years, I have had two episodes of cancer: colon and metastatic colon cancer in the liver.
My mother is 99 1/2. She had colorectal surgery at age 92. The option for her was to have it invade the spine and die a painful, prolonged death.
So, we should die so he [Obama] can provide health care to illegal aliens who aren’t paying any insurance.

***

From: Jan
Sent: Thursday, June 25, 2009 7:26 AM
Subject: I apologize for my intemperate language. I am pleased to not get any medical care since it is the only way to help the uninsured
Obama did say we have to make choices. The choice he mentioned is that we older people should take pain pills and not have surgery to cure the problem.
I am not sure that his is much different than euthanasia, but so what. It will help the indigent.

Spot on. This will be medicine under ObamaCare. And we might as well be in Europe, if that’s the case.
*** UPDATE: Jan writes more.

Debbie:
Our grandson was a preemie. He weighed 1 kilo (2.2 lbs). of course, he got expensive care at birth and then subsequent treatment to make sure he had no deficits (thankfully none except being somewhat small. Is being very loquatious a deficit? He is 4 ¬? now.).
Under Obama Mismanaged Care, would he be alive today?

I know it’s rhetorical, but I’d hate to answer the question.

By Debbie Schlussel

When I was a kid, one of the best syndicated re-runs of “The Brady Bunch” was an episode entitled “Bobby’s Hero,” in which Bobby Brady idolizes Jesse James. Mr. Brady, disturbed that one of his sons would idolize a criminal and murderer, forces Bobby to learn about the real evil embodied by his romanticized hero from the old West. It finally hits home when Mike Brady introduces son Bobby to a man whose father was murdered in cold blood by his “idol.” (The full episode can be viewed in three parts here, here, and here–thanks to reader Yitzchak.)

If only we could go back 36 years and force actor Johnny Depp to have the fictional Mike Brady as his father. This is what I mean when I talk about the importance of good fathers in kids’ lives in America. Say what you want about “The Brady Bunch.” That was a TV father who did what many Americans don’t do for their kids today . . . including, apparently, Johnny Depp’s father.

Depp plays John Dillinger, the 1930s serial bank robber in “Public Enemies,” the movie which debuts in theaters, next Wednesday. It’s one of the big 4th of July holiday releases.

Sadly, Depp–who has a history of making anti-American statements–is just as clueless on the cold-blooded creep he plays. He’s now idolizing Dillinger in the same way little Bobby Brady idolized Jesse James. And, with it, he and his castmates play the same old left-wing class warfare politics, which somehow makes bank robbery “cool.”

Johnny Depp chuckles when he hears that his cast mates say he has a swagger similar to 1930s bank robber John Dillinger.
He thinks so, too.
“Oddly,” said the star of the legendary criminal, “I’m a big fan.”

Depp chatted about the folklore-like merits of Dillinger at the Los Angeles premiere of Public Enemies. . . .

“Especially in that era . . . everything was going against the common man. People like John Dillinger came back and were anti the establishment in their own special way,” Depp said. “I actually hope people root for him, too.“

Sadly, co-star Christian Bale, who plays FBI Agent Melvin Purvis who went after Dillinger, drinks the pan-criminal Kool-Aid, too.

Bale said . . . moviegoers will naturally fall for the criminal’s charm.

“Especially because this is a gangster who really has the heart of the common man, too,” Bale said. “It’s like today, there’s a recession and like now, people back then felt there was this great sense of injustice and that these fat cats were just screwing them over. And Dillinger was somebody taking it back.

It’s like Dillinger was the right man at the right time and he seemed almost to have a cause. It’s a question whether that was really the case, but you can see how easily the people felt about that and gravitated toward that.”

9/11 Truther idiotette and co-star Marion Cotillard spouts the BS, too.

The cast also chatted about the Robin Hood-like quality that Depp brings to Dillinger.
“He wasn’t really that bad,” cooed Oscar winner Marion Cotillard, who portrays Depp’s love interest in the film. “People will love this guy.

Disgusting.

Here’s a reality check: John Dillinger was not a nice guy. He was a murderer. He killed a police officer, Patrick O’Malley. And he was a cop killer in more ways than one. When fellow degenerate friends of his sprung him from jail, a sheriff, Jess Sarber, was killed. And death and maiming, including of female bystanders, followed him everywhere he went.

This is America’s new folk hero? It reminds me of the sickening worship of Charles Manson that continues to simmer within America’s younger demographic.

When I first wrote about how I was looking forward to this movie, readers contacted me, hoping it wasn’t going to romanticize Dillinger, and it looks like their fears have been realized, based on what we’ve seen so far.
Reader Mark, who wrote:

Did you see the 1973 movie, “Dillinger“? I watched it on TV recently, twice. The first time, I was thinking that you don’t see movies like that too much any more, as it did not, over all, glorify the robbers and demonize the federal agents.

Did you ever happen to hear Woodie Guthrie’s “Pretty Boy Floyd“? I guess that presaged the coming of romanticizing evil.
Nowadays, everybody wants to be an outlaw.

Sadly, they do. Gangsta is in. Good is out.

Reader OldSchoolW warned:

Michael Mann’s films have never been known for their accuracy.

And if Dillinger is the hero these guys make him out to be, looks like this movie will be equally as inaccurate.

I’ll be seeing the movie, Monday, and posting my review at just after Midnight on Wednesday Morning. Stay tuned.

In the meantime, I repost the trailer here: