March 20, 2006, - 2:58 pm

Sharon Stone Stupidity Update: Mid-East Peace Just a Breath

By Debbie Schlussel
We’ve written all that needs to be said about Sharon “Crotchwoman” Stone and her new self-anointed job as Mid-East Scholar (see also, here).
Last night, Sharon Stone crowded out the TV screen with her “me, me, me” feature on NBC’s “Dateline.” We heard her whine about her social life, not getting parts in Hollywood after 40 (gee, that’s news; never heard it before), how she’s showing more of her crotch in her next stupid film, etc.–all from her dignified mansion. Poor Sharon. Get out the violin.
Today, it’s more stupidity–wait, make that vapidity–about the Mid-East. Yup, Sharon Stone, Middle East Scholar, is ba-a-a-ack. Too bad. We thought we’d heard the end, when she lectured Israelis to stop killing, uttered something stupid about being in a puddle of water over Shimon Peres, and talking about kissing everyone to solve the Arab-Israeli conflict. (Israel was just struck with the bird flu virus. Like the country needs more viruses? . . . .)
Here’s her latest new-age psychobabble on Mid-East peace:

And it really is just a breath. It’s just an agreement that’s just a breath. We are not far apart. We can choose to have this alternative kind of growth that is a collective nuance of understanding.

HUH?! What did she just say. Translator, please. Uh, and who’s “We”? Did SHE have to give up her home in Gaza? Did she get trampled in Amona? Did she get her children blown up in Sbarro’s Pizza or her own face mutilated at the Dolfinarium disco? Hello, hello, hello . . . ?
Nice aging house, nobody’s home.
The only breath is heavy breathing for this from “Basic Instinct” and this wet-tshirt shot from “Basic Instinct 2.” And we have news for Ms. Stone: That kind of breath won’t bring peace to the Mid-East.

sharonstonecrotch.jpgsharonstonenipple2.jpg

But, wait. Like a Ginsu Steakknife commercial, there’s more:
Stone says she’s glad women are “stepping up” to “take their place in the world.” She calls it, “their feminine instinct.”

This is a new and very exciting time for women, because women by their very nature are creative and not destructive. And this is an extraordinary and important thing that we can bring into a world that awaits the opportunity for peace.

Oh, really? Here are some names for Sharon to google in researching her “feminine instinct” theory: Wafa Idris, Abu Asiyah, and Sajida Mubarak Atrous al-Rishawi. They are all FEMALE homicide bombers and terrorists (who also just happen to be Islamic). Ooops, and don’t forgot the “non-destructive” Princess Bunieh al Saud a/k/a Saudi “Princess Bonnie,” who tortured and threw her Filipino slave-maid down the stairs at her Orlando condo. Yes, we trust these “non-destructive” women to bring peace as only Sharon Stone knows they will.
Time, Sharon–well past time, Crotchy, to SHUT UP! Or since you are in Paris, Fermez La Bouche!

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5 Responses

Half the characters she plays in movies are destructive females. Especially her Basic Instinct character and her character from Casino.

Concerned Conservative on March 20, 2006 at 4:23 pm

Cat fight!

shleppy on March 20, 2006 at 9:56 pm

Too bad, Crotchwoman really has nothing to offer except for, well, her crotch. But seriously, it burns my hide to see these actors pretend to be diplomats!

DeBodine on March 21, 2006 at 7:35 am

Honestly there is something even weird about this womans crotch. It looks like it s 2 feet long. I mean it looks like it never stops.

Jack Hamilton on March 21, 2006 at 5:31 pm

Sharon played a number of decent women, but those films didn’t make money. I saw her on Oprah last year, stopped the remote there because I know she’s a smart broad. But I was quickly repulsed by her incredible patronizing of the audience. It’s bad form to reveal an ego that big. I advise her to move into Hamas territory and she how lovely life is under Sharia law.

justsayno2islam on March 22, 2006 at 9:36 am

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