August 29, 2007, - 10:21 am
By Debbie Schlussel
Sometimes a movie is so dumb, it’s funny. That’s not the case with “Balls of Fury“. Some of the time, it’s funny and entertaining. But most of the time it’s dumb and groanworthy. An okay, mildly amusing “B” movie at best, the “Fury” is part Chinese karate-style movie, part “Karate Kid,” and a whole lot of silliness.
“Fury” is about Randy Daytona–a child ping-pong, er . . . table tennis prodigy who loses the big match at the Olympics. His pushy Marine father is killed by a Chinese mobster, Feng (Christopher Walken in a wig, complete with Brooklyn accent), over a bet he made on his son. Years later, the child prodigy is a fat, aging lounge act at a third-rate Vegas Casino.
But then he’s recruited by lame FBI agent George Lopez (who seems and acts way too much like real-life incompetent ICE official John Torres) to get back in the ping-pong game, so he can help the FBI get Feng. First, the former ping-pong champ trains in L.A. Chinatown with a blind Chinese restarateur and his hot, phenom daugher (Maggie Q), to get back in fighting ping-pong shape. Then Daytona gets invited to Feng’s exclusive, prestigious annual ping-pong tournament in luxe digs. He must win the tournament to survive and also help the FBI agent expose Feng.
Overall, somewhat entertaining. But it’s sometimes winceworthy, with gags about FBI tracking devices being hidden in anal crevices. Not funny.
Question: How much did Def Leppard get for product placement throughout the movie? And the group is all over the soundtrack, too.
Oh, and by the way, I didn’t design the phallic, overtly suggestive movie poster (above), so no e-mails on that, please.
Tags: B, Balls of Fury, Christopher Walken, Debbie Schlussel Sometimes, Federal Bureau of Investigation, Fury, George Lopez, John Torres, Karate Kid, official, Randy Daytona, tennis, the Olympics