September 24, 2007, - 1:27 pm

King of Pop Resigns From Homeland Security

By Debbie Schlussel
Okay, so he’s not the real King of Pop, they just share the same name. And the same lack of any experience whatsoever in law enforcement. Instead, this Michael Jackson is the King of Flop–well, the Deputy King of Flop, anyway–at the Department of Homeland Security. He announced he’s resigning from his perch atop Homeland Security as the real-life Smithers to the real-life Mr. Burns.

michaeljacksondhs2.jpgmichaeljacksonpopstar.jpg

Michael Jackson, Deputy DHS Secretary or Michael Jackson, Bizarre Muslim Pop Singer: Hard to Tell Which One was Running Homeland Security

He says he needs to make more money than the $200K-plus in benefits and salary that he already collected for doing . . . well, not much. He’s the guy that announced the inconsistent and silly liquid policy along with TSA chief Kip Hawley. Also, the guy that sent out BS “upside” memos when surveys came out showing DHS employees rated DHS lowest of any government agency. Hung out with Chertoff when their eager subordinate Emilio T. Gonzalez gave himself an award for best immigrant. Stuff like that.
Hard to believe he can find more money and a better job than the phony one he occupied courtesy of Uncle Sam. Like all the other top dogs at DHS, he had zero law enforcement experience when he came there, and it showed in spades. He was a lobbyist and bureaucrat. That’s where he should have remained.
Michael Jackson, Deputy Secretary of Homeland Security, was the deputy overseeing so much incompetence at Homeland Security, it was really hard to tell which Michael Jackson was actually running the place: the Black-turned-White Michael Jackson from “Thriller” or the White-from-birth unthrilling Michael Jackson.
Frankly, I liked the movie version (the hot Jack Scalia) of the Deputy Secretary of Homeland Security (from “Red Eye”) a whole lot better. And I bet that actor would have run the place a whole lot better than the actors that are there now.
Good riddance, Michael P. Jackson. Say “Hi” to Germaine and Tito for me on the way out. Now, if only you would take the Serpenthead and The ICE Princess with you.

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3 Responses

Good f**king riddance …
Now if only Chertoff and Myers would have the decency to do the same, maybe we’d have a chance at survival and actually thriving, instead of dying, like we are now.

4EVERCUSTOMS on September 24, 2007 at 3:12 pm

Bloody Hell!
He is more like king of flop if you ask me. They are both incoherent freaks. One is trans national who can’t secure a country and the other is trans racial who can’t sing to well. All they both have left is to do a pop debut together on Homeland Insecurity. If you can sell a CD,why not sell a country while you are at it?

Jew Chick on September 24, 2007 at 3:41 pm

Hello Deb.
Great to see Jackson is gone.. But how can he say that he isnt making enough $$. The corect term is collecting $$. Its amazing that he has funneled billions to his previous employers in his tenure as Asst Secretary.
His legacy will be that he spent billions, however the checkpoints look exactly the same as they looked when he arrived on the job.
Same as for his buddy Kip Hawley…. Has spent billions… no security experience, but he was Norm Minette’a admin, when he was at DOT… with Jackson.
Gooooo Figure.
ZZ

Zap Zapper on October 2, 2007 at 2:29 pm

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