February 26, 2010, - 4:22 pm

Weekend Box Office: Skipworthy “Cop-Out,” Okay “Crazies”

By Debbie Schlussel

Not the greatest weekend at the movie theater for new releases, but if you must pick one, “The Crazies” wasn’t bad.

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*  “Cop Out“: Two words:  Tracy Morgan.  It’s poison to a movie.  He was semi-okay in one or two SNL skits.  But anything more, fuhgedaboutit.

Moreover, I’m beginning to think that the real reason Southwest Airlines made director Kevin Smith get off the flight is that he’s an even more horrible director than he is fat.  From his over-rated “Clerks” and “Jay and Silent Bob” flicks to this movie, his work stinks.  But give him credit for truth in advertising.  The title of this piece of garbage couldn’t be more accurate, as this is definitely a “cop out” for a movie.

“Cop Out” is a low-rent retread of the far superior “Beverly Hills Cop” (with a low-rent version of Penelope Cruz in it, to boot).  But the novelty of “White-cop-and-Black-cop-partner-in-Ebony/Ivory-crime-caper” is old hat.  The ’80s called, and they want their passe idea back.  Today, White and Black cops partner in every major city in America.  Big whoop.  It’s not news.

This movie was long, boring, filled with stupid, unfunny, vulgar jokes, and simply a waste of time.  While there were a few very funny lines that made me laugh, the rest was a joke . . . and the joke is on anyone who paid ten bucks to see it.  Even though it was violent and bloody, I struggled to stay awake.  It was like two over-sexed three-year-olds got together to write a movie.  Bruce Willis and Morgan play partners on a police force, who’ve been together for nine years.  They get into trouble over a botched drug bust and their police brutality.  But while they are suspended without pay for a month, they are trying to find the Hispanic drug dealer, who has Willis’ valuable baseball card.  He’d planned to sell it to pay for his daughter’s wedding, but it was stolen.

I really don’t want to go much more into “the plot,” if you can call it that, because, frankly, this movie was stupid beyond belief and I gave it more time and attention than it deserves.  Absolute garbage.  Total crap.  If I were a cop, I’d sue the makers and stars of this movie for defamation.

FOUR MARXES
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* “The Crazies“: This is a remake of the George Romero 1973 original (which I haven’t seen).  While I’ve seen a ton of zombie/apocalypse movies like this over the years–and Hollywood should come up with something new, this wasn’t bad and it was somewhat entertaining.  That said, when this movie is slow, it’s very slow and boring.  When there’s action, it’s good.  Could have done without its “US Government wants to kill innocent people” theme.

Timothy Olyphant and Radha Mitchell play a married couple, a sheriff and a doctor, who live in small town Iowa.  Suddenly, town residents turn crazy and start killing fellow residents.  Essentially, they become zombies, rabid from something.  It turns out that that “something” is a sunken plane carrying a poisonous chemical payload, which accidentally crashed in the river from which the town gets its drinking water.  The rest of the movie is our heroes trying to escape the zombies and the soldiers the government sends in to “take care” of the matter.

Not the greatest movie or surprising or shocking.  In fact, it was far less scary than I expected, though it’s still pretty bloody and violent, with lots of killing.  But it was entertaining enough.  And fine for what it is–a typical George Romero suspense thriller with zombie horror.

ONE-AND-A-HALF REAGANS
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14 Responses

Debbie. she sees bad movies… so I don’t need to.
I love Bruce Willis, but this looked forced.

my favorite Bruce Willis flick is 12 Monkeys. I watch it over and over again.
the plotline. Environmental activists are incompetent conspiracy theory ridden loons that accidently become part of the scheme that allows a totalitarian government to come to power through environmental paranoia… that leads to an eventual activists to actually harm life as we know it. for all the chaos in the world… the only conspiracy was from those who were looking to bring order to the madness.

not sure what that has to do with the films you mentioned… but they sounded so dreadful I didn’t think it was worth thinking about.

ooh. another under rated Willis flick I liked a lot was Billy Bathgate. Jewish mobster Dutch Schultz. good stuff. Nicole Kidman and Dustin Hoffman. movie bombed unfortunately.

just saying… Bruce Willis is an actor I like watching. too bad about this one.

Noah David Simon on February 26, 2010 at 5:05 pm

I too like Bruce Willis. My fave has to be The Fifth Element… but then it WAS directed and written by Luc Besson. Too bad about this movie (Cop Out). Thought it was going to be a huge bomb by who else starred in it. Hence, my lack of desire to go watch it and waste my time. Thank you, Debbie for the review.

patspfs on February 26, 2010 at 5:19 pm

I beg to differ, Brian Fellows was HILARIOUS!

Matthew on February 26, 2010 at 5:21 pm

Comedy sludge set in a cesspool of badly played characters in a total buzzkill of a movie. At one point in the movie I was actually hoping to get alzheimers.

Lowest.Set.Bar.Ever. on February 26, 2010 at 5:48 pm

I like Bruce Willis, but I hate Tracey Morgan. The other white guy is not even funny, or cool. Never saw him in anything I liked. I’ve saved enough money not seeing bad movies to buy more ammo and range time! Thanks!

Joe on February 26, 2010 at 6:21 pm

I’m a fan of what I consider Kevin Smith’s anarchically libertarian politically incorrect movies (Clerks, Clerks II, Zack and Miri) but not of his sentimental junk (Jersey Girl). This latest Smith movie Cop Out wasn’t noticeably in either of these two veins except that there was still some whimsically entertaining dialogue. I thought it was pretty funny. Willis was good in this even if the script wasn’t equal to 12 Monkeys (which, in agreement with Noah above, is one of my favorites). In tone, this film reminded me of Starsky and Hutch (a similarly silly buddy-cop movie). The plot isn’t strong, as you point out, Debbie, but there were a lot of amusing scenes. Like The Hangover, I think this movie is more for guys than gals. Unlike Beverly Hills Cop and Rush Hour, the black partner isn’t annoyingly and controllingly “smarter” (in the street sense) than everyone else. And unlike Willis’ last cop-buddy-with-black-sidekick movie (16 blocks, with Mos Def) which played up to a typical liberal’s police paranoia, here the subtext is mostly apolitical. Hurray for that! (Maybe Bush Derangement Syndrome is waning in Hollywood as Obama is in office longer and as he continues to make a mess of everything. I could swear that movies are improved these days from what we were getting last year!)

I liked The Crazies. It was glossy, effective and scary and the subtext was mostly conservative (the only exception being the government cover-up, but with the radicals currently in the White House, hey, that sort of makes Chicago-style sense). Radha Mitchell is hot and Olyphant better than your run-of-the-mill feminized Hollywood wuss. They’re a cute couple. There are no whiny children. The main characters act like adults. Unlike in The Road, there isn’t a strong subtext that we can all reach a utopia if some of us will just stop being so greedy. Unlike 28 Months Later, men in the military don’t start raping all the women as soon as they get a chance. The plot wasn’t overly imaginative, but it was solid with a couple mild surprises. Old-fashioned virtues like loyalty, strength of character, love, and honor are praised (so you can expect Ebert won’t approve of this film and, in fact, that happens to be the case).

Burke on February 26, 2010 at 8:38 pm

K. Smith railed against the airline? That’s mighty big of him. Thank you!
B. Willis-you youngsters out there should Netflix his series “Moonlighting” seasons 1-3. You can see the show that made him a star,especially season three. It was the 1980’s, and it was great.
Tracy Morgan is just a sack of sad stereotypical unfunny “Starring” on 30 Rock.
{Mr. Morgan’s performance tonight is sponsored by White Liberal Guilt.)

Douglas Q on February 27, 2010 at 12:13 am

The original “crazies” was very well done. Most of the horror movies today are rip offs of Romero’s earlier work. Considering he had no budget for most of his movies and is considered to be one of the greatest horror writers & director’s. The difference being his movies are done in an intelligent fashion. One of the greatest vampire movies is his gem called “martin”.

He had nothing to do with the remake as far as I know.

spaceship22 on February 27, 2010 at 4:38 pm

    Absolutely. Romero was told he’d have a $6 million budget if Dawn of the Dead had an R rating, $3 million if not. I understand he opted to release it without a rating (he knew it’d probably get an X rating, and it cost money to get it a rating).

    Silent Blob’s whining about Southwest was no doubt a Hail Mary attempt for publicity for Cop Out. I suspect a few years from now Bruce Willis will look back on this movie as a “what was I thinking?” moment?

    Richard on February 28, 2010 at 4:23 pm

I really enjoyed cop out, I felt it was worth the money

Daniel Costa on February 28, 2010 at 10:39 am

I wouldn’t have gone to see Cop Out, had it not been for me attending a free screening for this one last week. The trailers just screamed STAY AWAY!!! on this one.

Tracy Morgan is a great guest on the Stern show, but other than that he’s ok for a couple of minutes before getting on your nerves very fast.

trewsdetroit on February 28, 2010 at 12:19 pm

I’m sick to death of Bruce Willis. He’s getting a bit ridiculous now. The original The Crazies was ok, but to be honest, it’s a Romero movie that needed a remake. Not that he has control of any of his work.

It’s funny how all Romero’s work is being remade, yet he cant get distribution deals for his latest work. His last 2 movies (Diary of the dead & upcoming Survival of the dead) were/will more or less be forgotten & straight to dvd. So many of that era’s director’s have fallen out of favour. Craven, Hooper, Carpenter & Romero.

The original Dawn of the Dead is the best horror movie of all time. Yet, it is so much more than just horror.

Aussie Craig on February 28, 2010 at 9:23 pm

“Cop Out”…if it bombs that bad at the box office than ice will pick it up as a training video for all the kool-aid drinking dweebs they hire and the pendejos they have supervising them.

What the hell; they can’t screw things up THAT much worse, can they??? Hmmmmmmmmmmmm…

IceNoMore on March 1, 2010 at 9:45 am

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