February 26, 2010, - 4:22 pm
Not the greatest weekend at the movie theater for new releases, but if you must pick one, “The Crazies” wasn’t bad.
* “Cop Out“: Two words: Tracy Morgan. It’s poison to a movie. He was semi-okay in one or two SNL skits. But anything more, fuhgedaboutit.
Moreover, I’m beginning to think that the real reason Southwest Airlines made director Kevin Smith get off the flight is that he’s an even more horrible director than he is fat. From his over-rated “Clerks” and “Jay and Silent Bob” flicks to this movie, his work stinks. But give him credit for truth in advertising. The title of this piece of garbage couldn’t be more accurate, as this is definitely a “cop out” for a movie.
“Cop Out” is a low-rent retread of the far superior “Beverly Hills Cop” (with a low-rent version of Penelope Cruz in it, to boot). But the novelty of “White-cop-and-Black-cop-partner-in-Ebony/Ivory-crime-caper” is old hat. The ’80s called, and they want their passe idea back. Today, White and Black cops partner in every major city in America. Big whoop. It’s not news.
This movie was long, boring, filled with stupid, unfunny, vulgar jokes, and simply a waste of time. While there were a few very funny lines that made me laugh, the rest was a joke . . . and the joke is on anyone who paid ten bucks to see it. Even though it was violent and bloody, I struggled to stay awake. It was like two over-sexed three-year-olds got together to write a movie. Bruce Willis and Morgan play partners on a police force, who’ve been together for nine years. They get into trouble over a botched drug bust and their police brutality. But while they are suspended without pay for a month, they are trying to find the Hispanic drug dealer, who has Willis’ valuable baseball card. He’d planned to sell it to pay for his daughter’s wedding, but it was stolen.
I really don’t want to go much more into “the plot,” if you can call it that, because, frankly, this movie was stupid beyond belief and I gave it more time and attention than it deserves. Absolute garbage. Total crap. If I were a cop, I’d sue the makers and stars of this movie for defamation.
* “The Crazies“: This is a remake of the George Romero 1973 original (which I haven’t seen). While I’ve seen a ton of zombie/apocalypse movies like this over the years–and Hollywood should come up with something new, this wasn’t bad and it was somewhat entertaining. That said, when this movie is slow, it’s very slow and boring. When there’s action, it’s good. Could have done without its “US Government wants to kill innocent people” theme.
Timothy Olyphant and Radha Mitchell play a married couple, a sheriff and a doctor, who live in small town Iowa. Suddenly, town residents turn crazy and start killing fellow residents. Essentially, they become zombies, rabid from something. It turns out that that “something” is a sunken plane carrying a poisonous chemical payload, which accidentally crashed in the river from which the town gets its drinking water. The rest of the movie is our heroes trying to escape the zombies and the soldiers the government sends in to “take care” of the matter.
Not the greatest movie or surprising or shocking. In fact, it was far less scary than I expected, though it’s still pretty bloody and violent, with lots of killing. But it was entertaining enough. And fine for what it is–a typical George Romero suspense thriller with zombie horror.
Tags: Beverly Hills Cop, Bruce Willis, Cop Out, George Romero, Iowa, Kevin Smith, Movie Reviews, Radha Mitchell, The Crazies, Timothy Olyphant, Tracy Morgan, zombies